My Heart Doth Wander
by MistressAli
Summary: The aftermath of Robotnik's downfall. Knothole tries to adjust. Sally struggles with guilt and darkness. And both she and Snively discover, that, just because something is dead, dosen't mean it's gone.
1. Dead Things

My Heart Doth Wander (c) 03-04 by me, MistressAli

All "Sonic the Hedgehog" characters and related indicia (c) and TM Sega/Archie/and DIC. Used without permission.

Packbell (only mentioned in passing) © David Pistone

Casssar and Cu Chulainne (c) MistressAli

This document may be freely distributed, as long as it's not altered in any way. This story contains: violence, sex stuff, swearing and other naughty stuff.

Italics thoughts, flashbacks or first person POVS

--- Cu's voice

Onto the lengthy A/N!:

This is the 3rd story in my series 'The Lifeblood of Mobius', which includes the preceding stories "The Glow of Something Bright" and "Following Tributaries". I would really suggest reading those first because this story would probably be confusing otherwise (and it's probably confusing enough, knowing my writing!)

It's quite a long story so I've decided to split it into chapters, which I don't always do...but one, I can get more exposure on , because well, you get bumped off the recents page very quickly there. Two, because the story is so lengthy, chapters will allow people to read it in smaller chunks, instead of the entire long overblown thing ;)

Also, when first starting to write this, I couldn't decide between doing it in third or first person POV, so I just did both! This was also partially inspired by the TV show 'Boomtown' which shows an event from different characters POVs. Just noting this to help avoid any confusion... I also bolded when it happens, so er yes.

This story is dedicated to John Roberts, because he always gave me such encouraging words on the previous stories and his interest in the series motivated me to get off my lazy ass and write the third part. Now, seeing as this story might suck to most people, you can just blame him for that! :P :P

OK, enough blabbing, onto the story!!

Lifeblood of Mobius

Story #3

"My Heart Doth Wander"

by A. Fleury

Chapter 1 : Dead Things

It's the fear that's in you,

that brings the fear out in me

it's the ghost unaware of where you might be.

And it's the feeling in you,

That brings the fear out in me

It's the ghost...I won't wake up this time...

I breathe.

"Fear" – Claire Voyant

**From the mouth of I, Casssar, Queen of Robotropolis**

_I moved from those hallways and rooms of stale contained air, and out onto the balcony that hung on the high reaches of the building. The city of Robotropolis. It lay dark and quiet before me. The realm of dusty streets, empty. _

_This was his kingdom now. My Castdecass, my Black Flower. _

_But according to him, it was mine too. He said so...when he got the idea to fashion the crown..._

_Three days ago. I'd been gazing out the window. Somehow I thought there would be something more interesting out there than my surroundings of metal walls, and metal floors, and still more metal: ceilings, sentry guards standing in the doorways, whose archways were of metal too, all polished and glinting with the overhead lights._

_I could understand why someone could go mad here. And how only someone mad could have built this. _

_I heard soft footsteps behind me and then, "Casssar?" came in an odd accent. I turned to see something not made of metal. My Black Flower, a tiny man, with pale pale skin and blue eyes that shimmered at the sight of me. _

_He smiled, or what I knew as one, the slight quirk of his pouting lips upwards. He was holding something behind his back and he withdrew it. A circlet of gold balanced in his outstretched hands. Two flowers were carved upon it, one at each temple, and between them, a strip of six tangerine jewels, glinting the light back three fold. _

_"It is beautiful," I said. _

_"It's for you," he said, and he beckoned me to bend lower. I did so and he placed the crown onto my head, straightening it to his satisfaction. He stepped back and I stood at my full height. _

_He nodded, his eyes sweeping my face. "It fits you. You look like a queen." Then softer his voice came, his cheeks flushing. "I...want you...to be my queen, Cass."_

_"Oh Cast..." I stroked his cheek and he nuzzled against my hand like a cat. He seemed to ache for any touch I gave. Endearing...and almost too needy...all at once. _

_I was in adoration._

_"The Queen of Robotropolis..."_

_The crown was lightweight, but even small things can become a burden after a time._

* * *

Sleep. A time of peace.

For the lucky ones, the healthy ones.

For others, like him? The sick souls?

He sometimes loathed that spaceless realm, and all the horrors it brought him. Dead things come back to bite, forgotten things brought back clear and vivid as the day they were conceived. Memories and atrocities.

Everything he didn't want to see.

But Snively had to succumb to the need for sleep. So he laid his head upon the pillow and shut his eyes, and pulled the sheets up. He drifted away into what he hoped would be a calm flat sea.

But so often it was whipped into black frothing waves.

Waves. Of forest trees, the green tops waving. And he was somehow there, on a path, walking. Or was he? Blackness folded in.

"Snively..."

He heard a breathy voice. It sounded weak, like it couldn't get any louder.

A flash of red. And a scent.

It smelled like pennies.

He realized suddenly, in this odd blackness, that he was cold. There was weight all around him, like he was buried under a pile of pebbles.

Pennies?

That smell...what was it?

'Open your eyes...'

He did. If he could scream, he would, but there was no strength. He was covered in cuts. His throat was sliced open. His heart was torn. A massacre. He was a massacre.

And he was buried.

He realized he was quite large, and his face boasted a large orange mustache. He was...Robotnik.

Dead?

And then it all reversed, and he was himself again: Snively. He was trudging along a pathway in the forest, and the green trees were wavering in a breeze. His feet stopped him by a huge mound of dirt. He wanted to scream at himself to run, because he knew what was underneath.

He saw the dirt move. He saw himself startle and try to leap away.

But it was too late. His ankle was caught by a hand, and it reeled him in. Then it latched about his throat and he could scream this time.

It was his Uncle grasping him and he was towering, decayed, holes in his vengeful smile and caverns for eyes. He wore maggots like a white shirt.

He heard himself whimper and then gag as those hands clenched tighter around his neck. It was strange, for even decayed and dead, Uncle's flesh still bled. The smell was so strong. Blood, copper-penny blood, rotten. It choked him as equally as the deteriorating hands.

The blood oozed. And where the blood touched him

The nephew

The killer

It burned through him like acid.

He woke up screaming, flailing his arms, shuddering, gasping, drooling, crying, sobbing, retching.... He woke with mortal fear etched into his face and the sheets soaked with more than just sweat.

"NO, JULIAN, NO!" He sprang from the bed, his words coming out like machine-fire in their ferocity. He aimed a finger at the pale figure in the mirror. "YOU'RE DEAD, GODDAMN YOU!! DEAD!!" In fear-fed fury he launched at the mirror, punching his own reflection. The blows that came to his small trembling form were from his own hands now! Never again from Uncle Julian's!!

He fell to the floor and stared at his bare scarred arms. He tried to keep that thought in his head. That Julian was DEAD. That he could never yell, break, hit, again. He could never make new scars. These old markings of his would fade away. Julian was gone. Packbell was gone. These scars would fade...

He laid there until the shuddering subsided and slowly, with a groan of effort, he pushed himself to his feet.

He stared for a long moment at the pale slim body in the mirror. Then slowly, a smile crept upon his face. One finger reached out and stroked the reflection's cheek. "It's alright to smile. You're free now."

With his eyes, those ice-pale haunted orbs, on the mirror, he slid his hands across his shoulders. Down his chest, over those ridges of ribs, and down slim, flat sides, over the scarred stomach. Soothing the skin, telling it that there was nothing more to fear. His hands reached the hipbones, jutting through the creamy skin, and rested there. He grinned at the mirror, feeling strangely elated, and slightly silly...and then he turned and retrieved his clothing.

His normal gray uniform fit snugly as always, but he made a modification. The red armband imprinted with a black "R" for Robotnik was ripped away and tossed into the trash.

"There. Perfect." He gave a final nod to the icy boy in the mirror, before exiting and heading down to the command center.

* * *

Princess Sally sat at her writing desk, facing the window, in her hut. Outside it was strangely quiet. It had been ever since the day Robotnik died in the middle of their village. The day Sally had stabbed him under the spell of Casssar and by Snively's command. The day the villagers had been brainwashed. The day Cu Chulainne had wiped their minds of the incident to purge any guilt they would carry.

_Dear Journal,_

_This place has been like hell, lately. A few days ago, we buried the villagers who had died fighting Robotnik. But we didn't bury him. Not yet. Nobody has touched HIS body yet. Nobody wants to! But I'm going to have a meeting about it today. Because well...the smell._

She looked out the window then, seeing that tarp-covered form. Robotnik was still where he lay. The blood had seeped into the ground. She imagined nothing would grow there now.

The blood had disappeared but his body remained, and no one dared lift the tarp to look, or even came within five feet of the corpse.

And Gods! The smell. At first the corpse had laid there, all nice and quiet and not bothering anybody.

Except for the look of it. That was unsettling. Bloodied flesh, stabbed and bitten and mutilated, and entrails dangling from a torn stomach. Someone had grabbed a tarp and thrown it over. So they didn't have to look anymore. And that was fine for a few days.

But the days had been warm in this beautiful late summer and that had taken a toll on the dead flesh. It began to deteriorate, as it should, and as it rotted, it began to stink. Such a stench...it was sweet, but in a sick stomach-churning way. Heavy. It hovered like a cloud and wafted on the air currents until the entire village could smell it.

_It's so horrible. And I did it. I know...I've rambled about this already, right? But I can't get over it. It's too awful. And the villagers hate me now. They don't get it...they think I'm a freak. But they were under a spell too! They should know it's not my fault. _

_And it's not just about the villagers. I know that... but... _

_It's Sonic. He's been acting so strangely around me. He doesn't trust me. He just doesn't understand, because he doesn't know about the Source! If he did...if I could tell him everything... but Daddy says we can't. It's like this big family secret or something. _

_I think they think I brought Robotnik to the village... They think I'm a witch. _

_I don't know what to do._

A waft of air brought the smell into her room. She sat, breathing in the stench, and then the familiar look of resolve came into her eyes, hardening her gaze into steel. She closed the journal with a snap and stood up.

_'This isn't a time to mope with words..._

_I have to take action_.'

She looked out the window at the tarp. The first thing to do was to obliterate the constant reminder...to finally dispose of Robotnik's body. They had a new life now, and it was time to start accepting it.

* * *

"Does this city ever see the sun?"

Casssar thought she might peer out the window for days and never see a spark of light, never see the gray clouds turn red or purple from sunset. Sometimes the wind stirred them about, but never seemed to open a gap to the sky.

"It's always nighttime here," said Snively. He had entered a few minutes ago, dressed in his normal gray attire. He looked tired as he seated himself in the green throne that formerly had belonged to his Uncle. "I barely remember what sunlight looks like."

"We only saw it a few days ago," she laughed.

Yes, sunlight, and blood.

And guilt. And ecstasy.

And Uncle! And Uncle's hand around his neck, choking him! Snively gasped and his hand flew to his throat. He could feel the blood burning him.

"When we...killed Julian," he said, stammering. "We did see it then, the day he died. But I didn't really notice it..." He cocked his head, looking at her with eyes like a frightened child. "All I could see was the blood."

"Blood," said Casssar, with a devious smile, pretending not to acknowledge that fear-filled gaze. "I like blood..."

Snively's lip quirked half-heartedly. "Yes, but this wasn't good. It was...it was just sick."

Casssar turned back to the window, hunting futilely for that ray of light, and finding none. "Are you sorry he is dead?"

Could he say that? Did he feel that?

Snively reached a hand, gingerly, as if probing a wound, into the dark pit inside himself. There was blood once again, blood. Thorns, barbed wire and ripped flesh, maggots feeding off the decay. There were black holes and stagnant pools. There was so much disease inside him, and who had planted the virus? Who had infected him?

Julian.

Julian, Julian, Julian.

And so those fingers probed for thoughts of Julian, and he found everything, he found everything...bitter hate, the choking anger, the terror, the ecstasy upon death, the sweet taste of revenge. Guilt, horrid guilt. He found everything, even sick misguided love and broken trust, fragments of adoration and the naïve coveting of a child.

He found it all but one thing.

Regret, remorse, sadness.

"No. I'm glad he's dead."

"Yes," the ermine nodded, her finger sliding along the glass, tracing his reflection. "I thought as much." She looked over her shoulder, teeth glimmering in her black face. "I am pleased too."

The smile returned to his lips and this time it stayed, and transmuted, turning into something lewd.

Casssar loved it, and a purr leapt from her throat.

"We did it together, Cass." He sprawled lazily in the massive throne. Her eyes swept over his lithe body, the small slip of pale stomach she glimpsed when his shirt rode up.

"Indeed we did, Black Flower," she turned her back to the window, and back upon it she leaned, stretching, luxuriously. The overhead lights played across her silken fur, catching in her narrowed eyes as her lips pursed, blowing him a kiss.

Snively's eyes darkened from pale blue to dark...murky, like grit stirred up under a clear lake. Sudden lust made his breath quicken and his fingers tighten on the armrest.

"We can do anything together, Black Flower."

"Anything..." His voice was husky. "Come here, Cass. Show me one of those anything's..."

Another purr came from the slinky lady, and she danced her body over the floor and to the command chair.

"Computer," said Snively, his voice still caught in that drowsy raspy lilt, his eyes locked on Casssar's olive green stare as her face leaned towards his...

"...Dim the lights."

* * *

Sonic was talking to Tails when Sally found him. He held her eye as she approached, his mouth moving as he spoke to the young fox, and then, as Sally reached him, Tails slipped away.

Sonic gave her a smile that was so slight, she could barely justify calling it a smile. But at least it was something.

"Hi Sonic."

"Hi Sal."

He shuffled his feet. "So uh...how's it going?"

"Fine..." She said.

There was a long awkward pause, so unfamiliar to them both. It had never been like this before. This tension between them...this feeling of being strangers, somehow.

Finally he stole a cautious look at her, his brow crinkling. "You look..."

"What?"

"Serious."

"Don't I always?"

The hedgehog smiled. This time it was fuller, more genuine. "You look like you're really thinking up something."

"It's about..." The squirrel faltered, and then finally swung her arm in the general direction of Robotnik's corpse. "...that. Something has to be done about...it..."

Sonic looked over too, keeping his gaze there, not looking at her. She saw him gulp. "Yeah...yeah, that's just...mondo bad." He nodded a bit too vigorously. "Are you gonna call a meeting?"

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I think that's best." She tentatively reached her hand out towards him, then drew it back to herself as he finally looked her way . "Um...maybe you can tell everyone. We can have it," she glanced at the sky, "At four?"

"Sounds great," he mumbled, and then, his eyes shone forlorn as she backed away and fled the spot with quick striding steps.

* * *

She went down to the pool. Considering it was a rather warm day, it was surprising to find the place deserted. The waters were still, not one ripple, not one leaf falling to mar the pristine surface.

It should've seemed peaceful, but relaxation was the furthest from Sally's mind. Instead, she was tense, picking her way over the rocks to the opposite end of the pool. A rock wall rose up; most people didn't come to this side of the pool unless they intended to dive off the rocks and swim in the deeper part of the water.

The bushes here were thick, concealing this section of ground from anyone standing at the other side of the pool, and for that, Sally was thankful.

Nevertheless, she still cast a hunting glance all around, even scanning the treetops. She raised a finger to the top of a crack in the wall. Downwards she drew the finger, following the crack, until she reached the bottom, where she exerted firm pressure with her three inner fingers.

The rock beneath her fingers slid inwards, and with a slight grinding noise, a small doorway slid open in the stone. She entered quickly and the door shut behind her.

Before her lay a cavernous space; a hidden cave within the cliff wall. The ground was flat gray stone, littered with a few boulders here and there, but, covering most of the ground surface of the cave was a glimmering pool.

This was not water. It shone a swirled gold and silver; and its composition was thicker...it glowed and illuminated the walls around her.

A Source pool...the Acorn Source pool.

Only she and her father knew of it. Or were supposed to know. Some time ago, Snively, and his new companion, the slinky Casssar, had also discovered it.

That had led to Snively's discovery of something even more sacred in his eyes: Knothole.

And his Uncle had come at his Nephew's bidding...and the Nephew had slated his doom.

But...Sally gulped and tried to force the image away...of her own hand bearing down, dealing the final blow to the Overlord of Robotropolis.

She should be proud, maybe, at finally bringing an end to Robotnik's reign.

But it didn't seem just. It didn't seem...right...

She walked towards the pool; it illuminated her body. Above the pool, a ball of soft white light floated. She felt comforted by it, understood. She reached her hand towards the glow...


	2. The Red

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 2 : The Red

Please don't be afraid

When the darkness fades away

The dawn will break the silence

Screaming in our hearts

My love for you still grows,

So this I do for you.

Before I try to fight the truth

My final time.

"Understanding" – Evanescence

The glow...

Snively closed his eyes. He could still see the glow, even then.

Red, a horrific red. Not because it was the color of blood, or denoted emergencies. It was the red of his Uncle's eyes.

Casssar was kissing him...beautiful sensual kisses all along the curve of his slender neck. He tilted his head back, eyes half-closed and hazy, his hands ruffling the fur as he stroked her sides. She had a little more meat on her than he did; he couldn't feel her ribs as readily as she could feel his, poking out through the fabric of his uniform. He was often worried his body repulsed her, but Cass insisted she enjoyed the feel of his bones.

"You feel...real..." She said, one time, trying to explain. "You have a structure..."

"Maybe so...but nobody wants to see the foundation of a house when they live in it. They want to see walls. Pretty decorated walls."

"I like the base form of things," she said somberly, and traced her finger along the prominent ridge of his collarbone.

Now she was breathing against his neck, so moist and warm. Her hand was stroking his thigh and he felt frantic butterflies in his stomach. "You are beautiful, Black Flower," she hissed.

"Don't be ridiculous..." he sighed, with a bit of a stammer in his voice. Her hands were making it awfully difficult to think straight. "You're the b-b-beautiful one..."

She laughed, a low purring sound. That only elevated his stupor; Gods, the woman melted him like ice cream under the hot sun. This sort of brainlessness, this lack of clarity, was usually a thing for him to scoff at; right now, though, he was enjoying it thoroughly.

She was a tease, so slow and sly in her movements, her fingers crawling spider-like up his slender thighs, and onto his waist, playfully avoiding any sensitive areas in between, even though his baited breath and eyes, half-lidded and sultry, were insisting she explore them...

But he happened to move his head, and see across the room, where the enormous computer console stretched out. The place where he had spent so many waking hours. It was darkened, except for some glowing lights.

He intook a breath.

Two lights, side by side.

Glowing red.

Red.

EYES.

HIS EYES, STARING, STARING, WAITING.

Snively jerked upright. His breath was torn and a sudden hard shudder racked his body.

"Hmmm?" Question flashed in Casssar's olive green eyes.

He tried to shrug the chill off.

"Nothing. Ah, just a cramp in my leg."

"In your leg..." she purred throatily. "Or somewhere else?"

The lights seemed to glow brighter. He turned his head, staring at Casssar's lips, which were smiling, felt his head swim as she attempted to massage the imaginary cramp that was 'somewhere else'.

He thought suddenly, with a jolting sick lurch of his stomach, of the maggots crawling on Julian in his dream. Casssar's fingers, they wiggled into the top of his pants like black snakes, or...or...

The red lights blurred, they gained twins in his eyes as he stared at them so intently they doubled. He heard whispering...and felt sweat break...was that Casssar's voice? Or HIS...?

"Beautiful..."

"...to see you die... to see you ROT, Snively..."

"...black..."

"...to see you in the ground, decaying in the darkness, with just my hands on your neck for company, with just the stench of MY blood in your SOUL, Snively!"

"...flower."

"Uhnnn....No!" A ragged childish whimper squeezed past his lips and he wrapped arms around Casssar; she had grown to be not only his love, but his shield as well, his protector. She could beat back Julian, couldn't she?

But he's DEAD. He's DEAD, damn you!

Casssar mistook his whimper for pleasure; a chuckle shook her body and she continued her massaging. He could barely think, breathe, talk, with the two forces pulling at him; terror and ecstasy... Where they that close? Those two emotions – both pushed a person to an edge, a vast cliff with hidden things at the bottom, deep water. He wanted to dive into one. And the other...he wanted to run...and he wiggled, trying to get away from Casssar. So he could run.

Run from those glowing red eyes...and those hands reaching...

"God...NO!"

Now Casssar understood. That something was amiss. "What's wrong?"

She turned to eye the room behind her, seeing nothing, nothing but glowing lights and darkness. She focused on the lights.

Yellow, blue and...red. RED. She turned back abruptly, seizing him by the shoulders. "He's DEAD."

Snively was struck – backhanding with killing force – by recollection. Cu Chulainne. It had brought back Sally...when he'd killed HER. It had brought back himself...from the DEAD. He tasted bile in his throat, his eyes shining with terror-born tears as he stared at Casssar. "IS he?" It came out as a squeak. "IS HE?!"

"Yes." Casssar's eyes saw the carnage just as Snively's did; the Overlord of Robotropolis on his back where he'd fallen, torn, stabbed, laid open, eyes glazed. Limp. Lifeless. Life-LESS.

Dead as dead can be.

"No man could live through that."

Snively rested his head on her shoulder, embracing her again. The feel of her heart calmed him. "He isn't...wasn't...a man. He was a demon."

"Then he has returned to his hell." Her breath was warm on the top of his head. She traced the curves of his ear with her fingertip. "He is GONE, Black Flower."

"Yes...I..." Snively's eyes strayed again to the console in the dark, its two red lights still glowing.

Just lights, they were just lights.

"...I believe you."

But...they still looked like eyes.

* * *

The light floated to Sally's fingertips. It spoke to her with a rich voice, both gentle and booming. This was Cu Chulainne, the purifier of the Source, and the strange entity had made itself a home in the cavern that housed the Acorn Source Pool. Sally and It had become friends...as much as one could be friends with an entity.

-Hello, Sally.-

"Hello, Cu."

Sally sighed, and sank onto one of the large boulders by the pool side. "I'm tired of this, Cu."

-Of what, Sally?-

"Of keeping this a secret...keeping YOU a secret. It makes everything so hard to explain...when I have to cover up the truth. Sonic doesn't even trust me anymore...Sonic!"

-He has deep affection for you. He will not throw that aside easily.-

Sally was quiet, dipping the toe of her boot into the pool. The thick liquid did not cling to her foot. She gave a half-hearted kick, then sighed again. "Cu...how do you know? You've never...well...touched Sonic."

-I see him through you.-

"Oh." Her muzzle crinkled. "Then you only see my hope for him. My feelings for him."

-He rubs off on you. I do not just read your thoughts...I read the essence he has left.-

This thought put Sally into a silent state as she contemplated. She knew, deep down, that for Sonic to abandon her, it would require an act on her part that was so atrocious, so horrible, that even she would not be able to cope, to continue living.

Killing Robotnik with her bare hands, plunging the knife into his chest? It was horrific.

But he was their mortal enemy. It was still murder...but...if anyone deserved murder...it was Robotnik. Sonic would not leave her for that.

She supposed Cu was right. It put her more at ease. "But I still wish I didn't have to deceive him," She mummered.

The light glowed softly. It understood.

A frown crinkled the Princess's brow. Cu's words echoed again in her head. 'He rubs off on you.' It struck her suddenly. "Does...can...you read anyone else on me, Cu?"

-Yes.-

"Well, who?" She was immensely curious, and a little queasy. Anyone could leave their essence on her? Like a greasy fingerprint marring her soul forever...was that what it was?

-All your close friends. Your father, And the dead evil one. The small one and the dark woman.-

_Robotnik has a mark on me?_ She shuddered. _And Snively....and Casssar...?_ "What does...what does Snively's essence say?"

He was their new enemy now, as far as she knew. He was in the city, perched on the throne, following in his Uncle's footsteps. With Casssar. But they hadn't done anything since that day.Maybe...maybe he was satisfied with his Uncle's death...maybe he would leave them alone.

-He is jumbled. I sense admiration.-

Sally snorted.

-I sense hate and resentment. He is definitely an enemy, with a potential to change. To become worse.-

"No surprise."

-Or better.-

Sally's frown deepened. "I doubt that, Cu. Not by himself." She didn't mention Cu Chulainne's desire to heal Snively...that day when she'd killed Robotnik. She'd stopped Cu, she told It 'NO', because she wanted the demons that tormented Snively to drive him to madness, to drive him to suicidal despair. He deserved to suffer. He didn't deserve to be saved, or healed. "He's...beyond repair..."

-That is not true.-

But Sally didn't want to discuss it further. She stood up. "I still wish...I could just tell everyone," she steered the subject back to her current dilemma. "I don't see-"

Just then, the soft rumble of the hidden door alerted her to another presence. She whirled around, though it could be only one person.

And it was he. King Acorn, cape dragging upon the smooth floor, stepped into the basking glow of the Source Pool and its protector. "Ah, Sally. I expected to find you here."

"Daddy." She greeted him with the question nagging her mind. "Why can't we tell about this place?"

He was at the edge of the pool, the light bathing his face silver and gold. "I've told you before, Sally, this is a secret place of the Royal Family. No one outside our family can know of it! Even you, my dear, were not to know of it so soon."

"But what about Sonic? I can't even tell him?"

"No, I am afraid not."

"But...but he..." She gulped. "He's part of our family."

He shook his head gently. "Your love for him does not mean he is a part of the family. I am sorry."

She mused wildly about running to Sonic, about marrying him. Just so she could bring him here and show him. "But he will be, in the future, daddy! He WILL be."

"He isn't NOW, Sally. I'm sorry." His tone had gotten a bit sharper; heeding the end of the conversation. Sullenly, his daughter kicked at the pool again. She was not one who gave up easily, but neither was her father. The stubborn clashing of their wills would get them nowhere.

"Well, alright, then," she finally said, changing the subject. "I've...well...I'm planning to have a meeting today. To discuss Robot- the body. What to do with the body."

"Ah," the king nodded. "It is becoming a bit of a problem. It was thinking of holding a meeting about that as well."

"Daddy?" she was hesitant, staring down at the Source. "What do you think about me...about what I did?"

"I think nothing. They were not your actions."

She was silent; he continued. "And what do you think of me? I was powerless. I did nothing to stop Snively from calling that monster Julian."

"You couldn't..." She understood his point immediately. "Casssar's magic wouldn't let you."

He squeezed her shoulder. "Yes, my dear, but just knowing that doesn't make it easier. For either of us."

She leaned her head upon his hand. "It's hard to think...that there are times when you can't do anything."

The King was quiet. There was a deep sadness in his aura. Even without the insight of Cu Chulainne, Sally could feel it. She thought...anybody within three miles of him could feel it, like great undulating waves of sorrow rolling off of him...

"Yes, my child, I know. Sometimes, I think I know that better than anyone."

They both stood for a long while, not talking, both lost in thoughts of their own misgivings and weaknesses...but both understanding they shared these feelings. That they weren't alone.

Finally Sally pulled away. "Well...I'd better get going...the meeting will be on soon..."

It was still not for a few hours, but she wanted out of the cavern; it was the epitome of her problems suddenly. But no, that wasn't really it...it was just the deceit, the deceit to Sonic, that nagged at her conscience. This place was the answer she couldn't give, the truth she couldn't reveal.

_Or maybe I can..._ A sly thought came as she exited the cavern.

She made her way through the bushes. Still, the pool lay empty. The water was calm and she debated taking a swim. Letting that cool liquid soothe her, float her despair away. Ah, it sounded so good...

She stripped off her vest and laid it upon the large log, and she had gotten her boots off, smiling as her toes sank into the cool mud, when she heard a rustling in the nearby bushes.

She looked towards the sound; whoever it was tried unsuccessfully to conceal their presence, but they were making too much noise, cracking sticks and scuffling on the leaves.

"Alright, who's over there?" she asked, annoyed at her tranquility being disturbed.

There was a little yelp, and out of the foliage tumbled Tails, his fur stuck with twigs and thorns, and his gloved paw rubbing at his eye.

"Oh, hi there, sweetie," the squirrel greeted. "Are you coming for a swim?"

"Uh no," the kit said, standing briskly and brushing himself free of the debris. "I was just...uh...looking for mushrooms." He sprinted away up the path and Sally closed her mouth; she'd been all set to ask if he knew what ones were safe to eat, and how to tell – then she turned back to the pool.

Somehow, the water didn't look as enticing. She felt unsettled. With a shrug, she waded out anyway...she had time to kill after all.

* * *

**Inside the head of Mobius's most way past cool hedgehog, Sonic!**

_He didn't have much to tell me. I wasn't disappointed in him, though. I didn't really want there to be anything to tell. _

_"Hey, it's ok, lil bro, that's what I thought anyway. There's nothin' wrong with ole Sal." _

_Tails smiled, but it looked troubled. "Cool!" Then his voice reflected his face, worried. "But...but what could be wrong with Aunt Sally, Sonic? She's not a robot clone, is she?"_

_Boy, was that kid paranoid about robot clones. He'd been the only one, all that time ago, to know about the fake Sally Robotnik had built. He was a smart kid, he really was. Robotnik was stupid though. It sure fooled us, but he never tried it again. I would've, if I were him. Not that I want to be like old lard-butt, but I sure would've tried it again. _

_But he didn't. This Sally wasn't a fake. She defiantly wasn't. "No way! She's Sally, alright! I'm just a little worried about her, is all, ya know? She's probably still a little stressed after what happened." _

_"Yeah," the kit nodded, looking cheery again. He always took my word as a definite truth. Sometimes that bothered me. I know, I'm nearly perfect, but not totally. Sometimes, I screw up. I don't want to let him down, or anyone else, for that matter. But I will sometime. I just know I will...it can't be helped. _

_I want to tell him that, but I can't, because he's so hopeful. He's still so innocent. _

_"Yeah," Tails repeated. "She seems ok to me." _

_I patted him on the shoulder, smiling, but inside I felt really funny. Like I might cry or something. "That's the spirit." _

_"Should I keep following her?"_

_"Oh sure, if you want," I said it very nonchalant; I was really trying to swallow this odd lump in my throat._

_I just wanted to believe Sally was really ok. She killed Robotnik; she's never killed anything before, not on purpose. I know, it was Robotnik. I would've killed him too, to protect Knothole. It still marks her, though....it makes her different to me. _

_Oh...I waved to Tails and ran off quickly, because the lump was choking me. She's different, but she's still the same. I want her to be the same old Sal, more than anything, more than I ever wanted Robuttnik dead, even._

_Speaking of Robuttnik... I checked my watch. It was about time to set up the meeting. Once we got rid of stinky old Buttnik, maybe stuff would get better. _

_I kept running, my vision starting to blur. It wasn't raining though. _

_Please, just let it get better._


	3. Robotnik at your Disposal

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 3 : Robotnik at your Disposal

If you took all the little feelings in your heart

And took all those little feelings all apart –

Well, what's the point in doing all of that?

"Last Train" – Travis

The meeting was postponed for two hours, because people were slow in coming, and Sonic couldn't find everyone. Geoffrey (Sonic didn't care if he showed or not) had been out with Hershey, Bunnie, and one of his MPs, a badger named Tory. They filtered into the caf' just as Sonic announced they would be holding the meeting over dinner.

Sally wasn't sure if discussing Robotnik's corpse while they were eating was a good idea, but here they were.

She was quite sure the texture of Sonic's bowl of chili (a crumbly red) and the bowl of rice would take on disgusting traits, like bloody meat and wiggling maggots.

She tried to push that thought away; still, she refused a portion of either dish.

"Alright," she said, after everyone had settled down, loathe to bring up the subject. "As you know, we're here to talk about..." she fumbled, "...the...the body. It's been lying there for far too long. Something has to be done about it."

"Oh oui, oui, mah Princess," said Antoine from the end of the table. "The smell, it is making me swoon whenever I am smelling it!" the fox wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"It's really gross!" agreed Tails and Dulcy nodded.

"It's about bloody time, luv," Geoffrey was eating some of the chili mixed with rice. The combination made Sally's mouth twist.

"Me and Tory were jus' talking about it today. It ain't healthy, that's for sure. Surprised we ain't all got bloody sick yet."

Some of the villagers seated at the table in the corner where muttering and casting glances at Sally. She thought she saw one's mouth form the words 'crazy' and the others nodded. She cleared her throat and hailed an arm at them. "You have a suggestion over there?"

They all looked nervous, gulping, and one of the women shakily responded. "Ah...uh...no Your Highness."

Sally let out a sigh. "Well, come on, people, don't be shy. This isn't just a Freedom Fighter problem, it's all of ours."

Geoffrey grinned very deviously, elbowing Tory. "Let's chop 'im up and eat 'im."

Tory sniggered. "He'd last a few months. Maybe years!"

There were groans and gags all around. Sally tapped her fork against the tabletop, features twisting in annoyance. "Boys, serious suggestions only!"

"I was being serious..." Geoffrey chortled as he shoveled another heap of the chili-rice combo into his mouth.

"Well, how about we throw him in the lake? Or the pool?" Tory suggested.

Antoine stared at his water glass, beginning to shudder as images flooded him. He pictured a night guarding the pool, and he lay there as usual, yawning, waiting for the ring. The waters rippled, disturbed from underneath, but no golden ring came from the depths. It was a robotic hand, grasping, covering in slime and grit. Moving like a shark towards him, reaching for him...

He let out a squeal and shook his head violently. "Non, NON! We cannot be doing that!"

"What are you whining about now?" Geoffrey growled. Sonic scoffed.

Tails and Dulcy wore similar expressions of horror. They also saw the terror of Robotnik's corpse, pursuing them, devouring them as they swam in their beloved pool. They squealed along with Antoine, joining his protests.

"No way! I could never swim there again with HIM in the water!"

"I hardly think that's healthy," agreed Sally. "Dumping a rotting corpse..." She had to look away from Geoffrey and Sonic's meals, "Into such a small body of water? It would contaminate our supply. Not to mention..." She nodded at Tails and Dulcy, "It's just a repulsing thought, I agree."

"Well, excuse me," Tory rolled his eyes.

"How about..." said the woman who'd stammered earlier, "How about we just bury the body?"

It was the most obvious solution, but Tails, Dulcy and Antoine still looked less than thrilled. That robotic hand could rise from dirt as easily as it could through water.

For some reason, the idea didn't take with Sally either. It just seemed...wrong...somehow, to place such an enemy of the planet itself into the ground, like planting a tainted seed, spreading a cancer. Nothing would grow there. She just knew nothing would grow there again.

Sonic spoke for the first time; the hedgehog had been strangely quiet regarding the disposal of his arch nemesis. Sally eyed him with a crease of worry on her brow. Several times she'd heard him slip. He'd started talking about 'How we gonna bring ole Buttnik down today?"...and then, after a moment's pause, his face blushed. "Oh right. He's dead."

"Let's burn the bastard. I don't want him in our ground. He doesn't really deserve that, yo."

Sally twiddled her fork absently on her plate (she hadn't yet touched her food), watching him, puzzled by the constraint in his voice – it was empty of the fierce emotion he usually displayed towards Robotnik.

"I mean," he cast a sidelong glance at Sally, "You don't want to give him a marker, do you? What – 'here lies Robotnik, the most evil dude ever who ruined all our lives'? He shouldn't have anything. He shouldn't be remembered."

Everyone was watching the blue hedgehog; he began to stir his chili around, his nostrils flaring. Sally felt the need to say something profound, to let Sonic know she heard his words. But she could only think of a rebuke. "Some things need to be remembered. So we learn."

"We shouldn't remember him," repeated Sonic stubbornly, his head bowed.

Tails let out a little whimper. He was short enough to see Sonic's expression as he slid alongside his idol's chair.

Geoffrey looked savage, as if an epiphany had hit him...he leaned forward and snarled, rice spraying from his mouth. "I don't think you want to forget, spineball! You ain't anything special now, are you? You wish he was still alive, don't you? You bloody HERO!!"

Sonic shot out of his chair like a spring, hurtling over the table and at Geoffrey. The skunk and chair toppled, his dish went clattering onto the floor. The two combatants were oblivious, rolling over into the spilled food. Sally had a horrific vision of gore and maggots wiggling upon their fur. Geoffrey picked up a piece of broken plate and attempted to hit Sonic with it; Sonic punched it away. It nearly struck Tails as it flew into the air – the kit ducked right in time.

"You shut it, St. Stink! You think I want him alive, after what he did?!" Sonic snarled, grappling at Geoffrey's face.

"No Robotnik means no need for yer damn speed anymore! And you know it!" Geoffrey landed a hard punch to Sonic's cheek.

They were wrenched apart violently, and held tightly – the sputtering Sonic by Bunnie - and Geoffrey, frothing, by Rotor. The walrus, despite his bulk, found it hard to keep the skunk restrained.

"Sit down!" Bunnie growled and roughly pushed Sonic into his chair. Rotor held Geoffrey a second later, then released him. The skunk took his seat without a word. He didn't bother to pick up his plate.

"There's never gonna be anyone like him again," Sonic sounded like he was on the verge of tears. To cover it, he began to eat, his eyes gleaming with anger...and other things.

Sally knew Geoffrey was right, in some sense. Not all for selfishness Sonic's fear was...but the fear too, of fading into uselessness. She felt her eyes sting with a rush of water and salt – she blinked it away. They'd spent their lives fighting. It was too hard to picture it otherwise, to picture one's use when the war finally ended. Even though they'd all dreamed about this, hoped for this.

There was a tense period of silence, well mostly silence. The group in the corner were whispering again, along with some of the other tables. Sally took a drink, reluctant to draw attention back to herself – and Sonic.

Finally she cleared her throat, loudly, and stood up. "So...yes, fire. That's what I was thinking too, but I wanted everyone's opinion. Since he was an enemy so near and dear to all our hearts..." Her words tainted with sarcasm, trailed off, because the group in the corner were staring at her, and Sonic had even lifted his head to gaze at her. She felt her cheeks flame; her body chill.

His heart. Robotnik's. If he had one. Emotionally he didn't, physically, he had...and Sally had taken a knife and stabbed him through it. That's how he'd finally died, with Sally hurling her full body weight behind that dagger, rending him open. Sonic had seen her, Tails, Antoine, they'd all seen her. Seen their noble Princess in savage murderous glory, stabbing at Robotnik like a psychopath.

She choked and nearly sat down.

_It wasn't MY fault_, she wanted to cry. _I was under a SPELL! I couldn't stop myself! He was going to die anyway, because all of YOU ripped him apart, you clawed, and bit, and chewed him up, you punched and broke, mauled and mutilated him...YOU ALL DID IT. _

_What I did was trivial compared to that, and yet, I understand...I understand that you couldn't help it, you were ensnared. Can't you do the same for ME? Can't you give me the same honor, the same forgiveness?!_

But she didn't. She tossed her hair, and frowning, continued on as if the stares didn't matter. "Do we all agree to burn the body? A show of hands will do."

After a moment's hesitation, everyone in the room raised their hands. Sally stuck hers in the air as well, nodding. "Ok. Alright then. We'll do it... tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Why not?" The young Princess sighed. "It's been put off long enough."

"Tonight, everyone," said Sonic in a loud tone, commanding the room's attention.

"I think it's important to attend. So we can put this all behind us. So we can...can...accept what's in the past, and move on." And Sally sat down, and finally ate her meal, silently. The rest of the villagers returned to their whispering and eating.

King Acorn, looking as if he knew exactly what had occurred at the meeting, finally entered and helped himself to a bowl of chili.

Sally leaned forward as her father raised his spoon to his mouth. "The body is going to be burned...tonight."

* * *

Sometimes Casssar thought Death wasn't the enemy, the ultimate betrayer of Life.

Sometimes, she mused, her eyes on the Black Flower, who was sleeping in the throne, his face haunted even in sleep, sometimes she thought that was the whole purpose. That everything in Life lead to Death. Death WAS the goal. But the more pain, the more love, the more joy, the more knowledge one gathered before passing the better. The better to enter the doorway.

Snively twitched on the throne, his long fingers curling, his mouth forming a word, like a silent 'no'. He was changing, Casssar realized, slowly into something else. It was oh-so-subtle but it was there.

_Death is the goal. You can't rush it. It's of its own accord. It's CHANGE. Not a killing of life, a change._

_From larvae to chrysalis to butterfly, from seed to bud to blooming rose...every time they change, they DIE. What they were is dead._

Snively jerked awake with a little shriek, staring across the room with wraiths in his eyes, clutching him – changing him oh-so-subtly.

Those beautiful blue eyes had gone to chrysalis.

Casssar felt pain inside her chest, like a bullet had rended her heart.

She suddenly hated Death with all her might.

* * *

The moon was sickle-shaped and a light wind had kicked up over Knothole. More than half the village milled around the bonfire pit, most of them looking like they wished they hadn't come.

Doctor Quack was sporting a black version of his lab coat...his idea of a joke, Sally guessed. His nurse Bessie was clinging to his arm.

King Acorn struck up a fire with the help of Dulcy. Tails brought kindling, and soon there was a hearty blaze lighting up the dark.

The villagers mumbled uneasily as a grumbling Geoffrey and Tory pulled back the trap covering Robotnik's body to peep under. Tory gagged. Geoffrey tried futilely to wave the stench away. "Blimey! He's ripe, ain't he?"

Sally wanted to hold her nose, but it would look undignified, but Tails and Dulcy didn't care. They clamped paws over muzzles and backed away.

"Bloody hell, just about every bug in the Great Forest is in here-"

"ENOUGH, Geoffrey!" snapped the Princess. "Please, just get him...it...into the fire."

Tory grabbed hold of Robotnik's metal arm...it was probably the only part free of insects...and tugged. But even deteriorated Robotnik's body was a massive weight. The badger grunted and gave up. "We're gonna need some more hands to move this."

Reluctantly, Sonic stepped forward. King Acorn and Rotor followed. Bunnie wrinkled her nose and joined them. "Alright, how's about we roll 'im into the fire?"

They did so, trying to keep the tarp in place. Even with Bunnie's strength, it was a difficult task. They grunted and struggled, finally getting the body to roll. It took four rolls to get the body to the fire, all the while beetles and maggots spilled out from under the tarp, and the stench was almost unbearable.

"I'm gonna have to burn my gloves after this," Sonic complained. Bunnie's eyes were watering.

"At least yer wearing gloves!" said Tory.

With a great heave, they moved the corpse into the blaze. The fire smoldered and died down. Geoffrey took a jug of kerosene and sprinkled it over the tarp.

The flames roared up again, but hardly anyone stood by to catch their warmth. There were odd sizzling noises from under the tarp. The smell of burning rotting flesh was hardly appetizing and the tarp itself was throwing off an unpleasant smoke. The shifting winds did little to alleviate the odor.

But nobody left. They stood watching in silence. Sonic stripped off his gloves and threw them into the fire.

The tarp crinkled and distorted, bubbling from the heat, and peeling back to reveal their enemy. Their dead enemy...his sightless eyes, his monstrous hands...hands that had built weapons of destruction, hands that had fashioned machines to kill and enslave, hands that had drawn out plans to cast out their beloved king.

The monarch stood, hands clasped stiffly behind his back. A stoic statue. But his mustache quivered and his eyes held a sheen of wetness.

He cleared his throat gruffly and addressed the roaring flames.

"As you burn...I feel a change in me. As if something in me has died as well. The last of my naivety is in these flames. The rest of my childish thoughts that good can be found in every man. My mercy for deceivers goes with you. I hope you are proud of the changes you have wrought in me," He spread his large hands, his eyes dangerously close to flooding, "I hope you find some worth in the afterlife for the crimes you committed."

He turned to Sally, one of those quivering hands rested on her shoulder. "You have no idea how sorry I am for what I've done to you. To ALL of you."

He looked the villagers over in turn, losing the battle against tears. They fell in twin lines down his peach cheek-fur, silent and noble agony for his grievous error, the trusting of Julian that led to the downfall of all their lives. But not a one stared back in accusation, or hate.

"Daddy, we don't blame you." Sally put her hand onto her father's, squeezing his fingers. "Robotnik deceived everyone."

The king nodded. He didn't believe it. He should've seen, shouldn't have trusted.

But if they were willing to forgive him, shouldn't he accept it, outwardly at least? Drowning in self-pity and brooding over past mistakes did no good to his people, as much as he wanted to indulge in the darkness and guilt. He patted his daughter's hand. "Yes, he did. Deceived us all. Ruined our concept of trust."

There was silence. King Acorn felt the need to add something positive, a ray of hope. "We have a new chance now, to rebuild and start over. Maybe someday...we can get that concept back."

With those words, which seemed to hold a ring of untruth to Sally, but encouraged the others, the King retired to his hut. Most of the villagers followed his example and drifted away from the fire, until only a handful remained, along with the core Freedom Fighters.

The winds shifted direction and the pungent smoke washed over them. In a unison movement, everyone moved to the other side of the bonfire. The flames were rising higher now, obscuring the dead tyrant's body from sight.

Antoine watched them in relief, glad that those eyes weren't watching him anymore, and then he turned to Bunnie. His eyes were still haunted. He never had faith that the horrors were over, that the horrors could ever be over. "What do we do, mon amour, now that he is gone?"

"It's not all that different, Antoine," said Bunnie, and Sally's gaze jolted in her direction. A hard frown touched her young face. How could the rabbot say that?

Was it her arms, her legs? They still consisted of hard cold metal, reflecting the firelight, strangely beautiful. They would get those fixed...somehow...

"Snively's still alive." Bunnie acknowledged Sally's stare, though her own emerald eyes were still focused on her lover. "The fight ain't over yet."

Sally was unpleasantly surprised; she'd forgotten about Snively. The tyrant's nephew – a murderer, betrayer, usurper. Treacherous and icy, he still lived. She knew why she'd forgotten. He was so small and insignificant. She'd never seen him as a threat, before, but now, with Bunnie's words, she seemed to recall just WHY Robotnik was incinerating in front of them.

It wasn't all because of Sally, with her enchanted hand and dagger. The order had come from Snively. How odd that she'd forgotten that.

_It must be the stress. Worrying over this..._' She stared at the fire, _And Sonic. _Her eyes strayed to the blue hedgehog; he was talking with Tails. _'Strange that I forgot the whole reason for this mess.'_

'_But I should thank him too. Robotnik IS dead...'_

She tried to dredge it up, feelings of joy, happiness, relief, feelings of hope and peace...

They seemed just as fleeting and insubstantial as flesh in flames...

* * *

**From the be-crowned head of I, Casssar, Queen of Robotropolis**

_Two days passed. Every night when he slid from the throne, casting me a wink or perverted smile...I felt fear. I felt fear for him, you see, because I saw fear in his eyes. He was afraid to go to sleep, but he knew sleep was essential...he knew his fears were unfounded, and he wanted to fight it. So he retired, going to his bed...I wanted to conjure magic, place myself alongside him in his dreams and fight with him._

_I should've. Maybe I should've. But I didn't. I thought infringing on his battle...on this sort of battle...would be arrogant and not my place._

_I wonder what he thinks._

_Maybe I'll ask him._

_Right now...I just watch him...with fear shining in my eyes._

* * *

Knothole Village.

On the third day, the fire went out.

They let it go out. Geoffrey and Tory had steadily tended to it, ensuring that the body was fully cremated. When the flames finally died, and the embers finally cooled, they fetched King Acorn.

Sally was with him, and when Sonic saw them headed for the pit, he joined. Tails was loping alongside him. Bunnie and Antoine, nuzzling under a nearby tree, watched curiously.

"Well...the bloke's finally gone." Geoffrey nodded his magenta-bereted head towards the ashes. He stirred them up with a stick, then reached down, pulling out two metal cylinders. "A few parts are left...and we wanted to know what to do with 'em."

Nestled in Tory's palms were two round black marbles with red dots...

Robotnik's synthetic eyes. Geoffrey's hands bore the tyrant's artificial ears.

King Acorn picked up the last object left. He had to hold it in both hands.

The roboticized left arm of Julian Ivo Robotnik. It was by far the most disturbing and frightening item. A symbol of his power and cruelty.

Sally felt it wrong to throw these things away. They were horrible, but as she had voiced at the meeting...they MUST be remembered.

King Acorn reflected her thoughts. "Give them to me, St John. I'm going to lock them in a safe place. They are a piece of history...after all..."

The skunk nodded. He and Tory, along with the King, headed for the monarch's hut.

"Sonic..." Sally said, as the hedgehog started to leave.

He turned back.

"I just want to tell you..." She stared at his bare hands, hanging by his sides. She wanted to hurl herself into his arms, and utter the next words. But she remained where she was, standing rigidly. "That...you'll never be...useless, Sonic."

He looked taken aback, and his cheeks flushed. "Er...well...no kidding, Sal!"

She wanted to whisper to him, as she clutched him... _'I love you...'_

He turned to leave again.

"I'm always here...if you need me," she said...as he ran off.

* * *

Nightfall came like a funeral shroud, mourning the loss of day. Sally's invitation to Sonic had gone unheeded; her love had not come to confide in her. Tails had been lurking about her that day, pretending to be nonchalant, but when she called him out and tried to talk to him, he too had retreated.

So, the night was here, and the sky was utterly dark...the cloud covering was thick enough to hide the moonlight. They didn't move...for it was windless. She left her hut, feeling restless, and wandered the village. She went to the pool, thinking a chat with Cu Chulainne might ease her mind...but she changed her mind as she neared the water's edge.

When she headed back to her hut, still quite unsettled, she passed by the firepit and its heap of ashes. She was struck by compulsion so strong that she hastened to her abode and began to fumble through her trinkets. A small jewelry box, given to her by Antoine a few birthdays ago, caught her eye. She didn't own much jewelry so the box was not essential. She snatched it and returned to the pile of ashes.

With trembling hands, she undid the box's clasp and lifted up lid. Then with hesitation, a moment to wonder why she was doing this, but unable to fight the compulsion, she scooped a handful of ashes into the box. They settled dully in the red velvet interior. Gray and dead and with the scent of burnt human flesh still clinging most vilely.

She sat on her haunches, staring at the crumbled remains, then started upwards. She really ought to leave. If Sonic saw her collecting Robotnik's ashes, he would REALLY think something was wrong with her.

Half-temped to dump them out, Sally snapped the lid closed and stowed the box away in her hut, in the closet, on the highest shelf. She hoped the sickly smell would not seep through the box into her hut...

She paced, restlessly, and finally sank into bed, but sleep did not overtake her for many hours after.


	4. They All Have to Die

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 4 : They All Have to Die

I am, I will

So no longer will I

Lay down, play dead

Play your doe in the headlights,

Locked down and terrified

Your deer in the headlights

Shot down and horrified

When push comes to pull comes to shove

Comes to step around this self-destructing dance

That never would've ended till I rose,

I roared aloud here

I will, I am.

"Rose" – A Perfect Circle

**From the dreaming mind – ensnared in sleep – of Snively Kintobar, Tyrant of Robotropolis**

_I stayed in the throne as long as I could. Even after Casssar finally left and went to bed. She cast me this long look before she left. I could see her brow crinkled under her dark fur. She was worried about me. Casssar wasn't the type to show her concern outright. Kind of like me..._

_I wanted to tell her, you know, I wanted to whimper and curl in her arms, and beg her to hold me while I slept. But I've shown too much weakness in front of her already. I feel...I feel...like I can reveal myself to her...and yet...I don't want to divulge TOO much. She is to see me as a lover, a friend, a confidant. But not a needy child. _

_I can fight him off. He's DEAD. _

_He sent his blasted spirit into my dreams. I know he did, because Julian couldn't STAND to see me happy. He has to crush my joy underfoot, stomp it, break it. He was always so skilled at destroying things..._

_You CAN'T break me NOW, Julian, you fucking DEAD bastard._

_I threw this taunt into the mirror, staring at my reflection. Eyes glinted back at me. Cold. They always looked cold, throwing my defenses outwards, a ring of ice surrounding me. It kept some people out. Others...Julian...they took an icepick and smashed through it._

_But you CAN'T get me NOW._

_I smiled a cruel lopsided grin and turned my back on the mirror._

_The lights flickered off, and I slid under the black blanket, the sheets cool on my body. Yes, this would be a beautiful slumber, a time to refresh the body. _

_I wondered why then...why my heart was pounding so hard._

* * *

_...darkness. I'm engulfed in darkness. _

_No, NO!_

_My voice sounds like a squeal. A little piggy ripe for the slaughter._

_There's an odd numb pain in my chest, like someone has just stuck a knife there, and the shock is still hovering over. ...The pain will_ _spill through any minute. I can smell something...strong and rich...and gagging...the smell of _

_Liquid copper...._

_Blood._

_The pain hits me like a sledgehammer and I screa-_

_-m Light floods over suddenly, searing my eyes. The only reminder of the previous pain is a dull ache. _

_I blink._

_I'm in a large room, metal-plated, but the harsh surface is softened by tendrils of ribbons, colorful hanging banners, and balloons. Sparkling confetti is strewn across the floor and floating lazily in the air. I breathe in; the air is pleasant with the smell of cake and fresh fruit. _

_Is this a celebration then? A table against the wall is laden with food and a bowl of punch. I find myself clad in a suit (quite sharp-looking, if I do say). The guests of this party are odd shadowy figures...I can make out a tuxedo here, and a sequined evening gown there...but the faces are hidden...like obscured behind smoke. I frown...and then my eyes catch the one substantial being. _

_Casssar. She is moving towards me. Wearing a floor-length red dress, her black hair piled atop her head. A few loose tendrils fall to frame her face. _

_My heart leaps into my throat and my brow sweats...I blush...there is a swelling inside these dress pants...an agitated, elated gasp for the sight of her. She is beyond beautiful, my Queen...she rips apart clichés of dark goddesses, because SHE is the one true embodiment of the term._

_"For you," she purrs, a sweeping arm indicating the room. "For your glory, Black Flower. We celebrate you. You killed your Master Fear. How many of us can say we've done such a feat?" _

_A man is lurking behind her, and he drapes an arm across her shoulder. He is an ermine like her, but white-furred. He whispers into her ear and I strain to catch the mummered flow of words. I am abashed by the phrases I catch. "...filthy little whore..."_

_A tear drips down her cheek. _

_I realize his identity. Her father! I wish I could kill him! I tense my legs to lunge...and blink...and he is gone. A smile spreads over Casssar's lips. _

_"Yes...you killed your greatest fear, Castdecass. HIM." She waves airily to the guests and I eye them, feeling a weird knot in my stomach, like I might vomit. She clasps me by the arm and leads me to the refreshment table. "Let us drink...to celebrate your victory_."

_There is something off-putting about her smile. Stale...rotten, somehow...but this is Cass. She dips a ladle into the bowl of punch and prepares a glass. She hands the heavy crystal mug to me. The punch is a deep crimson color, and I see my face distorted as I examine it. Cass's hand touches my arm. She raises her glass. _

_"A toast..."_

_We clink the glasses. I tilt it to my mouth, swallow the drink...it is thick and so pungent that I nearly gag. It tastes...like..._

_"...to the little murderer." _

_...death? I cough. _

_I jerk my head up and stare at Casssar. She is grinning, cruelly, her mouth smeared with the liquid. It's dripping down her chin and onto her breasts. I can see, behind her, some of the guests coming into focus..._

_There is Sally and Sonic. They are kissing, and one of his hands is deliberately pouring the punch onto her dress, staining the white fabric scarlet. _

_"What...what...is this stuff?" I whimper...because my stomach feels like its on fire, and a line is burning down my throat. It's...I throw down the cup in panic, and it shatters onto the floor. The liquid bubbles when it touches the metal...like acid. It's..._

_"Julian's BLOOD." _

_I sputter, spitting out the contents in my mouth. _

_Casssar drops her glass alongside mine, in a deliberate mimic. "Don't think I can SAVE you." ...A shriek escapes her and she melts into a puddle of black sludge. I whimper and kneel down, grabbing at it, but it burns my fingers... _

_Sonic and Sally throw back their heads and laugh._

_"How does it taste? You filthy little killer. You ungrateful little maggot." Sally is standing above me, suddenly. She grabs me by the throat and lifts me. I can't breathe! Her claws are puncturing my skin and I feel the blood ooze. She slams me down onto the table and lifts the punch bowl up._

_I try to roll away, but two more Freedom Fighters, the French fox and the two-tailed boy are suddenly there, holding me down. _

_With a horrific hissing sound, the punch sloshes out of the bowl....Sally empties the entire contents onto me...and I..._

_SCREAM...._

_Oh, Gods...NO, it's burning me..._

_It's EATING..._

_Sonic is still laughing...he has come to stand by the table. Sally's dress is completely red, and dripping, and they are kissing with the blood dripping down from their mouths..._

_"THE GUEST OF HONOR!" Sally howls suddenly, and laughing, she and Sonic walk over to a curtain on the far corner of the room. I, screaming, writhing, my skin boiling, turn my head to see. _

_"He came...just for you..." Sally's cobalt eyes lock with mine. "We brought HIM ALIVE just for YOU." _

_  
Sonic rips away the curtain, and it falls._

_I get a hand free, and strike the boy. He stumbles backwards. Clawing and biting, I wrench my way free of the French Fox... I snatch up the cake knife from the table and jam it into his throat. _

_He collapses with a spew of blood from his mouth. _

_I don't care. I have to get away! My eyes are burning agony. I'm blinking tears, snot dripping from my nose, my skin blistering from where HIS blood touched it...NO. NO. NO. I scream so hard that I could snap vocal cords. _

_From behind the curtain he lurches like a drunk. His sightless eyes are latched on me, his mouth gaped open, teeth cracked and broken off into points. I scramble backwards, but my foot slips in something slick and I fall down upon my rear. It is the puddled remains of Casssar._

_I stagger to my feet, sobbing, eyes blurred in terror... he is near enough now to smell his putrid breath, and see the rotting ragged wounds upon him, infested with insects. A hissing laugh escapes his throat. "How pleasant to see you again...Nephew..." His voice is thick, like speaking through oatmeal. A maggot wiggles past his tongue and falls upon the floor... he pays it no heed. A rusted and mud-caked robotic arm reaches for me._

_I turn to flee...I can outrun him...PLEASE..._

_My arms are seized by Sonic and yanked roughly behind my back...the pain is excruciating. My blurred vision is cleared as tears drop._

_Uncle begins to laugh, a horrid strangled sound...the bugs fall like spit from his mouth._

_"No...NO...god...Let me GO!" My voice...a little piggy ready to be executed..._

_The French Fox has pulled the knife from his throat and stands holding it, grinning. The blood gushes in a torrent down his shirt. But I don't watch him for long...My vision turns back to HIM...as that robotic arm grabs me by the collar, and lifts me up. Just like old times...but he is DEAD!_

_I cry as his hand descends upon my chest, stroking me...oozing onto me. It burns...GOD...it's burning me...I wiggle...but he won't let go._

_"Did you MISS me...Snively?" His breath washes over me, and I nearly die there. _

_"No, Julian...please..." _

_"Please what? You MURDERED me, you deceitful WORM." He holds out his flesh hand...the glove eaten away and the bone showing through. The French Fox glides to him and places the cake knife into the massive palm. _

_Julian turns his gaze back to me. "But I'll return your gift, dear boy...over and over...because they'll keep bringing you back...for ME..."_

_His hand clutches the knife and I try to wiggle free...screaming until my throat bleeds, but I can't escape...and the knife plunges forward and into my body..._

_  
It hurts..._

_I die. _

_I die with Julian's eyes blazing into mine...and his laugh..._

_Ripping my head apart..._

_I wake up crying blood._

* * *

Casssar was half-awake, her eyes locked on the ceiling. Light was shifting across it, morning sunlight...and the fact that it played there was amazing to her. The clouds outside must have shifted, finally. She thought this could be a good omen.

But so often things thought to be good turned sour. In her experience, anyway.

Maybe it was a revelation. The shedding of light upon something dark?

She wasn't sure if she wanted to uncover the shadows...maybe they were better left alone.

But she watched in wonderment, anyway.

From the intercom speaker on her wall, came a rasping voice, cooing, to my room...HURRY...Cass!"

She groaned and tried to ignore him, but her Black Flower was insistent.

"CASS, HURRY!"

Something was wrong in his tone...something off. He was on the edge. She could almost feel his heart in her chest, thumping madly...she could taste the salt of his sweat.

Mmm. Divine. She enjoyed his fear, sometimes. Alive, it made him...flush-faced and shining wide eyes. Vulnerable and so easy to crush...

She gritted her teeth as feet hit the cold floor.

No. He was not one to be broken. She was a mender now...

Not to follow in HIS footsteps...

His...uncle...?

Or her...father...

And she snarled and stamped out of the room, head tossing like an angry bull, her thick locks snapping around her face.

"I will NEVER be like that BEAST."

"Casss..."

She went down long cold hallways, with her thoughts sleepy but warm. He was fooling with her...feigning distress only to lead her into a soft bed and dimmed lights and wet kissing lips.

She wanted to believe that, to indulge in the fire-fly glow of his darkness and not the other dark... The dark of her past and the impending madness hinted at in Snively's voice. He WAS just TEASING her, she thought hopefully.

She reached his room. The door slid open for her and she entered.

She could smell the panicked fluttering in his veins. It was ghosting him. He was sitting on his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, but draped forward over them, looking predatory, and disturbed. There was blood beading up from scratches on his arms, like he had a furious itch he couldn't get rid of...like he was trying to scratch something off his skin...

He was afraid, but his fear was not turning him into a simpering coward. It was making him into the caged and cornered beast. He grinned at the sight of her, his eyes gleaming. "Oh Casss...I'm so glad you came..."

Casssar took a few steps towards the bed; Snively slid off, his skinny form nearly nude. It was hot in Robotropolis at this time of year, Summer's edge, and he only slept in his briefs. She had a feeling he hadn't called her here to remove them, not now.... No. He hadn't been teasing.

"Come here, Cass...I have something to tell you...But not in here." He grimaced and rubbed viciously at his arms with short ragged nails. "Come here." He snatched her arm roughly and yanked her towards his bathroom.

"What is on your mind, Black Flower?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow as he turned the shower on, hot, the steam swiftly dampening the air. It felt unpleasantly humid on her fur.

Seemingly unmindful of his underwear, the small man stepped into the shower and pressed himself into the corner, eyeing her madly. "I had a dream..."

She decided if she was to be in here, she might as well bathe herself as well. A long black leg stepped onto the tiled shower floor, and its mate soon followed. She let the water beat down on her, flattening her fur to her body, gushing into her eyes.

Kinky. She grinned at him impishly, wishing he would shed his odd mood and join her in a little fun...but he remained where he was. The water was dripping in a steady line off his pointed nose. "They're going to bring him back."

She picked up his bottle of body soap and squirted some at him. It hit his stomach, foaming into whiteness, obscuring the scars that HE had caused. He blinked, but only from the water getting in his eyes. Nonplussed, she set the bottle down, her lip curled. "They are NOT going to do that, Snively-" She always spoke his 'real' name when wanting to catch his attention- "Why would they WANT him back? How would they bring back?"

"Cu Chulainne."

"Don't be ridiculous. Cu Chulainne could never be swayed into bringing back such a vile man." She smiled suddenly. "I imagine Cu wouldn't bring me back either."

"It brought ME back," said Snively sourly.

"I'm worse than you..." She thrust her face into his, strangely desiring to grab his head and smash it into the wall, and watch the blood mingle with water down his pouty lips. She would lick it off...

He didn't argue, but his expression was hardly agreeable. She kept smiling and without warning he curled into the corner, sinking to the floor. A few whimpering cries escaped him. "They will...they WILL!" A childish sobbing met her ears next and she was half-tempted to kick him...the other half wanted to embrace her Black Flower until his ribs cracked.

"Stop IT," she said sharply. "Cast, you are acting like a fool!"

He fumbled for the bottle, ignoring her, and began to furiously scrub the soap onto his arms and chest, and all over, raking his skin until he drew blood. "I can't get it OFF me...IT BURNS...it BURNS!"

"What burns?" The water didn't feel THAT hot.

"HIS BLOOD." He looked up with gritted teeth. "It's STILL on me. I can feel it...Cass...like little burning spots on my skin...like it's fucking DESTROYING me."

"You are letting it!" She batted angrily at the water. "You are letting him HAUNT you."

"Oh yes, Cass. He won't go away. I try, you know. I try to get rid of him." He dug a fingernail into one his slender arms. "Maybe if I just rip it all off....get rid of the parts the blood touched..."

She didn't say anything, because she couldn't think of a response. So she just stared at him, her hair lying in limp tendrils around her face. It made her head feel incredibly heavy.

He stood up rather suddenly, startling her, and leaned his face upwards, artic blue eyes bored into hers. One slender finger pressed into her lip, and then he cradled her face, a seriousness settling over his features. "I've figured it out, though, Casssar. What to do..."

"What would that be...?" Her voice was a whisper.

The water hissed around them. For seconds. A minute. She was nearly choking on the thick steam.

"They all have to die."


	5. Smudged Photograph

My Heart Doth Wander 

Chapter 5 : Smudged Photograph

I look up to the little bird

That glides across the sky

He sings the clearest melody

It makes me want to cry

It makes me want to sit right down

And cry, cry, cry.

I walk along the city streets

So dark with rage and fear

And I wish that I could be that bird

And fly away from here

I wish I had the wings to fly away from here.

"Little Bird" – Annie Lenox

**From the pen of Princess Sally Acorn**

_Dear Journal,_

_I took out Robotnik's ashes today and stared at them. I even touched them. I can still smell the stink on my hands._

_But he's gone now._

_Everything is just fine._

She closed the book with a snap. Maybe someday, she would look back and not realize that last line was a lie. Because maybe everything would be just fine.

She decided, washing her hands, that today was the day to rip down the walls between she and Sonic.

Even if she had to lie. Or betray her family secret...

Outside was a turmoil. The wind was blowing hard. Leaves scattered high-speed across the ground, chasing each other, flying as fast as they could away from Knothole. She wished she could fly with them...this place of sanctuary had grown dark.

_Dear Journal...Knothole has never been happier. It's like the clouds of war have lifted._

She looked up. The skies were gray and deep colonial blue.

She went back to her hut and tied her mussed hair in a bun, then eyed the room, seeing if anything needed immediate attention. But the place was clean.

_'Quit stalling!'_ She glared sternly into the mirror and outside she went once again.

With her hair out of her face, she pretended she could see things more clearly. Like how to reconcile...

Going past the fire pit, she noticed most of the ashes had blown away.

_Dear Journal _

_He really IS gone now. Everything is so perfect. Like we've forgotten all the pain he wrought._

She searched for Sonic, checking his hut, the pool, the training grounds, the guard posts, searching, going back to each spot again...checking the café and everywhere...but he was not to be found.

The entire time she strode about, she had a vague feeling of being watched. But she probably was. The villagers eyed her suspiciously whenever they saw her. Some even went the other way, as if expecting her to pull a knife on them.

So she ignored it, for a while, until she noticed one constant: Tails. He was sneaking around her, sometimes walking innocently, and other times making a conscious (though not very good) effort to keep out of sight.

Either Tails was looking for Sonic too, and strangely, in the exact places and order she was, or he was following her. Tailing Tails. He was always keen on that spy stuff. Uncle Chuck had yet to answer to Tails' enthusiastic request to join the elder hedgehog on some of his missions. She had a very good feeling Tails was practicing on her.

She debated letting him play, but she was getting annoyed, and so she spoke. "Tails...hey. I know you're in there. Come out."

Reluctantly, the kit emerged from a bush. A leaf was stuck to his ear and he flicked it off. "Yeah Aunt Sally?"

"Have you seen Sonic?"

"Uh..." His eyes darted around. "Er...no."

"You have no idea where he is?"

"Er no...uh..."

He had a better vocabulary than that. He only seemed to forget it when he was lying.

"Tails, it's important I find him." She sighed impatiently. "I know you know where he is, honey."

He covered his eyes with his hands. "I'm not supposta tell."

She frowned, thinking. So...Sonic was keeping tabs on her through Tails. Typical. Or perhaps not. Sonic usually never hesitated to question her himself.

He had been lacking in those issues of trust and love, lately. A hard gust of wind nearly bowled her over; for a moment she thought it was from him. The trees bent and rustled and a parade of whirling leaves blew past her face. She thought of flying with them again, following them away from here...following...

"Ok, Tails. How about I follow you to where Sonic is? Then you won't have to tell me."

The boy turned his toes inwards, rocking, uncertain. Then he looked up, scrutinizing her closely.

"It's me, Tails," she assured him. "I'm the same. It's just...that things have changed. Knothole has changed."

Tails stood up straight. "Ok. Follow me."

* * *

Tails led her from Knothole. They walked for quite a ways. Sally thought he was leading her to Robotropolis...but they veered off-course from the city and went further into rocky barren areas.

She heard the bubbling of hot water and nodded in realization. The hot springs. They were off-limit to most Knothole residents due to their dangerous proximity to Robotnik's empire. Sonic, of course, had never obeyed the rules, and she even heard other voices talking along with his as they drew closer.

_Dear Journal_

_Robotnik is gone and we're so safe. Or so we think. Everyone was so glad that one threat was dead...that they forgot the other, and it pounced and ripped out their throats._

But even she wasn't worried. Snively...he wasn't the face she saw when she thought of the words: Dangerous, fatal, formidable. Even after what he'd done to prove he fit those definitions.

She kept telling herself that Snively was of the same blood as Robotnik, of the same treacherous ambitions. Robotnik was a grenade...far more devastating, while Snively was a pistol. But pistols, though small, were still just as deadly.

Maybe she and Sonic would discuss him, but not until they mended this rift first...

He was in a crater of steaming water. In a separate crater were Bunnie, Dulcy, and Antoine. They were talking loudly over the frothing liquid, apparently sharing some silly jokes. Sonic fell silent in mid-laugh at the sight of she and Tails.

Bunnie covered the awkward moment smoothly. "Come on in, Sally-girl, the water's jus' fine!"

Just the heat from the steam was making Sally sweat, but if it gave her a chance to talk to Sonic... She stripped off her boots and vest and put them onto the ground in a neat pile. Then tentatively, toes curling up, she dipped a foot into the water.

Ouch. Hot.

"Isn't a bit warm for this?" She questioned, sinking her entire leg in.

"It's nice once ya get in," Bunnie replied. Both she and Antoine's hands were concealed under the water, and Antoine was grinning. Sally rolled her eyes.

"If you say so."

Tails hopped in with the others, while Sally slowly lowered her torso into the water. It was deep in the middle, reaching to her chin. She walked to where Sonic was seated on an underwater ledge, and joined him. The heat was making her feel limp and weak.

"So," said the hedgehog, casting a glance over at Tails. "You found me."

Sally nodded. "We need to talk. I mean...a real talk."

He gave her an 'Aww, do we have to?' look but she did not blanch. Midnight blue eyes replied: "Oh yes. We most certainly do."

Sonic sighed and stood up. "Hey look guys, me an' Sal need some...private time." He winked at Antoine, but the fox wasn't buying Sonic's nonchalant attitude. He and Bunnie exchanged glances. Tails looked nervous. Dulcy was blowing bubbles underwater, totally oblivious.

The hedgehog and squirrel left the crater and went out of earshot where they slipped into another steamy tub, much smaller. She thought this could be romantic, if they were on regular terms again. But Sonic looked uncomfortable, and for a while they didn't speak a word.

She decided to be blunt. "All right, Sonic. I want you to tell me...what is wrong with me?"

He looked startled. "What? Wrong with you, Sal?"

"Yes."

"Er...well nothing."

She raised an eyebrow.

He fidgeted. "It's just that...I..." He took a deep breath and poked a large bubble. It broke and he blurted out," I don't know if you're the same person anymore."

_Dear Journal_

_Oh, is that all? When Sonic said that I felt such great relief._

She was so glad of the steam. Making their fur wet and drip. He wouldn't know the water seeping off her chin wasn't just condensation.

But he was right, in a way. She wasn't the same, no, not exactly the same as she had been before the fall of Robotnik. None of them were. She could argue, that with each passing second, they all changed just a tiniest bit. But to warp beyond recognition? She 't have done that.

She wanted to argue vehemently against him, but she gave quarter. "All right...so...so... I have changed a little. We're all bound to change now that such an important thing our lives," she watched a bubble pop, explode into nothingness, "is gone."

He concentrated on chasing a cluster of bubbles with his finger. "Ok...yeah."

She could tell he was preparing to say something else; she waited, and finally he looked up, emerald eyes searching her. Testing the waters, as it were.

"I can get why you killed him...but it's the how that's got me. It's like it wasn't even you."

She opened her mouth, but he was only pausing for a breath.

"St. John told me it was a spell. Everyone was under some spell. He says he remembers it, even though some of the others don't."

Oh. How to do this? To completely spill the Family secret? Or to only tell him of Casssar? How would that explain her fighting back, when Cu Chulainne had helped her fight against Casssar? He'd seen it. He'd seen her shooting magic out of her fingertips.

"I WAS under a spell, and so was everyone else," She agreed.

He was quiet.

"Sonic, you SAW his body. I couldn't have done all THAT to him. They attacked him...but it wasn't their fault!"

"I know..." he said, slowly, the tone of voice when one wants to believe, and does, mostly, but still has a nagging doubt, "Snively's chick did it. Croissant, or whatever."

Despite herself, Sally laughed. "That's CASSSAR, Sonic."

"Whatever. She's the one who did it?" He was nodding as he said it. Casssar had attacked him with magic. He knew she had power.

"Yes. So Snively could kill Robotnik..." She clenched her fists underwater, lowered her head so he couldn't see her eyes. Just remembering how Snively had turned them into murderers unwilling...it made her rage tremble like a heart attack inside her. It nearly killed her with its intensity. She wanted to hurt him again, she wanted to tear him open. "He USED us." Her voice held a rare undercurrent of loathing.

Sonic frowned heavily, and he was finally compelled to touch her...resting one of his bare hands on her arm. "Don't worry, Sal. We'll get him too."

She clenched her hand around his. "Sonic...why didn't you trust it was me?" She was always so dignified and composed. But right now...maybe the heat was putting cracks in her wall...a slight tremor shook her voice. It HURT her to think of Sonic mistrusting her, to think of him believing she was a corrupted person. It was like...like years of their friendship and love had taught him nothing about her.

"It was just..." He looked so ashamed, his ears flattened to his head. "Snively found Knothole...and it was like...how did he find it? And that was the day you were running towards Knothole...like all weird-acting. I mean, I KNOW!" He tightened his hand on her arm, "I Know you would NEVER, but...it was just...so much stuff happened. You know? I just...I want to know how he found it. I KNOW it wasn't you," He finished desperately, averting his eyes.

She was quiet a moment. The moment of truth. Whether to tell the truth... the whole truth and nothing but the truth...or the truth, a half-truth and nothing OF the real truth?

"I think it was Casssar," she said finally. That wasn't altogether a lie. Casssar and Snively had found their Source pool...Casssar had an obsession with the Source, Cu Chulainne had told her. "She ...sensed Knothole. And Snively found out somehow."

"Maybe," he said. He shuddered a little, probably thinking of Casssar and her magical attack on him. "Yeah, maybe. She was...pretty creepy." He eyed her again, keenly. His gaze was so perceptive that Sally thought maybe...Sonic wasn't as dim-minded as some believed him to be, even herself sometimes. He was almost always shrouded in bravado and immature boyhood ways. It belied any mature intelligence within. "But you two...seemed to know each other. Just how do you know her, Sally?"

"I've met her before." Sally sank a little further into the bubbles, her eyes half-closing. Her muscles felt like they were turning into limp useless masses. "She was with Snively... I was out near Robotropolis. And I bumped into them. He wasn't trying to get me or anything, it was weird. And she talked to me..." She frowned. "She's very interested in magic. Maybe...maybe there's something magical in Knothole that she sensed." She was treading the thin line between lies and truth. She was starting to see black and white and not the gray in-between. For Daddy, she had to stay in the gray. For herself...she had to stay out of the black. For Sonic, she SHOULD stray into the white. The absolute truth.

"Geoffrey met her too," the hedgehog yawned; the heat was getting to him too. "He said he met her an' Snively in the woods. She attacked him." He chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was Snively who kicked HIS butt." He let out a guffaw. "Stinky said he 'chased them off'. Ha!"

She didn't say anything. Now that they were getting along again, she didn't want to chastise him for teasing Geoffrey. At least the skunk wasn't around to hear, so it could be ignored.

Sonic yawned again. "How about we get out? My legs are like mush."

"Good idea."

They clambered out of the stone basin and sat down on the hard ground, leaning back against the rocks. Sally felt like she could sleep for a day and then some; Sonic's eyelids were drooping.

"Where did she come from, I wonder..." The hedgehog raised a hand to scratch his chin, but it fell down limply halfway there. He sighed.

She was wondering if they'd ever get their strength back. At least her heart felt stronger. Like a part lost to it had been found again.

"I don't know."

"Well...we'll get her too." Sonic turned his head to look at her. "And Sal...I'm sorry."

She said nothing, but her eyes accepted.

They sat for a long while in contented, blissful silence.

* * *

After dinner that night, Sally sought out a certain Mobian, and together she and Geoffrey took a walk down to the Ring Pool.

_Dear Journal...all the lies I wrote in you before seem like truth_.

_Sonic and I are back again. I feel like I could fight forever now. But we don't have to. The end of the war is drawing near. _

She might look back upon that years later and feel like a fool for writing it. But for now, it felt true.

Some of the trees were already turning colors. This did not bode well with Sally...it was barely the end of Summer. Fall was too eager to come...perhaps it was being pushed forcefully by Winter. She had never liked the cold seasons, it was like things were too long asleep, too dead...and there was always gray skies and mind-numbing winds to kill the spirit.

"But everything's so clean, luv. It's like everything's fresh and clean."

_Under a layer of snow, you can't see the branch that will trip you and break your ankle._

"You never saw what happened outside with Robotnik and I," She found herself staring across the pool at the spot where the hidden door to the Source cave was located. She couldn't see it through all the foliage.

"No, but I know enough." Geoffrey skipped a stone across the disturbed surface of the pool. The wind was still volatile. "Why? Those village idiots gettin to ya, luv?"

"It just that they don't remember anything. How much do YOU remember?"

"Snively and that bitch woman. Possessed us and then everything was like a bloody haze. I knew I was walking and I could even hear some things...you were screaming." He frowned. "We were as good as frozen. But we all KNOW it was that bitch's spell."

"But their memories about killing Robotnik...were...were erased-" Sally halted in mid-sentence and pretended to have a coughing fit.

After patting her on the back and ensuring she was alright, Geoffrey spoke. "Yeah. So they wouldn't remember what they did. Kind of unfair that YOU have to remember it." He spoke as if she'd said nothing enlightening. She eyed him suspiciously. He, smiling innocently, chucked another stone. "But they all KNOW there was magic involved."

"Then why are they shunning me?" She spilled out, exasperated. She sat upon the large log, putting her chin in hand.

"Because they're idiots, like I said, mate." He searched for another stone, but seeming bored with that, he gave up and sat next to her. "They're just friggin' afraid by what happened, and they don't get how Robotnik got to be layin' dead in the middle of Knothole. And everyone heard about you..." He made a stabbing motion. "No doubt their little minds couldn't handle that."

"Well, perhaps I should hold a meeting." She mused. "All of US," she was indicating the core Freedom Fighters, "All of us know that it was Casssar that helped Snively found Knothole." Well, she was hoping they all knew. She had already spoken to Bunnie about it, lying about the Source, as daddy had prohibited the mention of it. But Bunnie had believed her half-truths all the same, and had spread the information to Antoine. "The rest of them will listen to US."

"Oh, so Sonic stopped acting like a bloody fool, eh?" Geoffrey spat on the ground. "Ain't feeling too top-notch lately, is he?"

A hard look was shot the skunk's way. "I heard you talked to him. It sounded like it was almost civil."

"Yeah. That pincushion," Geoffrey grinned sheepishly as she frowned, "Sonic had some questions for me. About you..."

"Seems odd he would go to you," she said. "You two aren't exactly friends. And well...the subject matter..." She didn't finish that sentence. Her fling with Geoffrey was usually a sore spot for the skunk. He hated to be reminded that he had lost her to Sonic. But today, he didn't seem to mind.

She was rather startled by the realization. It wasn't just now, but lately, Geoffrey just didn't care anymore. Maybe he'd found another woman to pursue. Maybe he'd accepted that she loved Sonic? All animosity he held towards Sonic now was for other reasons; she was no longer part of the equation.

She wasn't sure whether to be relieved...or mystified by this. Either way, it was odd. Like seeing bare tree branches when for months before, they had been covered in leaves.

"Well, the poor boy was all bloody confused. I really couldn't believe he was doubting you, either, luv." The skunk cast her an affectionate, yet void of coveting, smile. "I see he finally got his stinking brains sorted out."

"Uh yes. Thanks, Geoffrey."

"No prob, luv."

She left him alone there, going back to her hut. She paced, feeling unsettled once again.

_But everything's alright now._

It was just something...was off. She picked up a photo of her and her beloved hedgehog, and right in the middle of the glass was a big smudged fingerprint. It was something wrong, something blurring a scene of perfection. She rubbed it off, but it didn't help ease the greasy smear in her mind.

Why did Geoffrey seem to know so much? Just clever guesswork? A gut assumption? Why would Geoffrey have those feelings and NOT Sonic, the one who was supposed to truly know her heart and soul...he WAS part of her soul...soul mates...and soul mates KNOW the truth about each other.

_Maybe Sonic isn't for you..._

Thinking that thought made her stop pacing in her tracks, her teeth set and her fists clenched. She wanted to scream, suddenly.

_Dear Journal,_

_I have known since the age of five years that Sonic was meant for me. We are the opposites that attract, we are the fire and ice that melt together into a calm tranquil lake. We are sky and trees, winged birds, we are the night and the day and twilight in-between. I can't describe this, but I just KNOW. _

_Sonic would never leave me. I would never leave him. Never, through doubt, or hate, or pain. _

_Sonic and I ARE SOUL MATES._

So, that wasn't it, then. She threw down the pen, slammed the journal shut. That most certainly was not the fingerprint on her perfect sunset photograph.

I'll wipe this one clean.

She nodded, flicked out the lights, and fell into dreams, chasing in the dark without a flashlight, searching for solutions that fled faster than she could run... 


	6. Starving

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 6 : Starving

Mothers are trails on stars in the night

Fathers are black holes that suck up the light

That's the memory I found on the fringe

Along with the memory of the pain you lived in.

"Hello" – Poe

Two days blossomed and withered. A young hapless girl, barely 20 years of age, found herself in a place of perpetual darkness: Robotropolis.

She ran in a panic, trying to escape it, as if all the hounds of hell were snapping at her heels.

They weren't.

A troop of five SWATbots was.

* * *

Breakfast that morning was fruit, bread and eggs. The Freedom Fighters sat around one of the wooden tables outside, leisurely talking and planning the day's events. They mostly consisted of relaxation and games.

Everyone was startled, leaping out their seats, as out of nowhere, a sleek brown falcon glided down and landed atop the table, balancing delicately on top of the fruit salad bowl.

No one knew quite what to do. Geoffrey cried, "Blimey! Git outta here!" He waved his magenta beret at the bird, but it merely blinked. Antoine shrieked. Bunnie pointed to the falcon's leg, where a rolled parchment was tied.

"Look, it's a message from someone!"

The falcon cocked its head, eyeing her squarely. A shriek came from its curving beak, acknowledging her words.

"Well, we'd better look at it then, eh?" The rabbot extended her metal arm cautiously towards the falcon. It didn't move, so drawing in a breath, she put forth her flesh hand too and quickly untied the paper. When the threads were unbound, the bird shrieked again and sailed back into the sky, and out of view over the trees.

"What's it say?" Everyone stared expectantly at Bunnie. She unrolled the parchment and scanned it.

"Greetings, Freedom Fighters

Your liege, King Maximillion, has informed us of Robotnik's downfall. We come to bring praise to your fierce warriors. It is also time, we believe, to take back the city that is rightfully yours. We shall be arriving soon.' It's signed, 'Chieftain Lupe and the Wolf Pack."

"Oh yay, Lupe!" Dulcy clapped her hands. Tails looked excited. The dragon and fox had made friends with some of the younger wolf pack members.

Sally was less enthused. She took the paper from Bunnie and reread it. "They want to fight? Already?"

"That's like them," said Geoffrey approvingly.

"It's been a week," Sonic agreed. "Ole Snootly is gonna think we're goin' soft."

Geoffrey laughed. "The brat is probably pissin' himself worrying when we'll come back!"

Sally frowned. "Don't underestimate him, anyone," Her gaze was focused most specifically on Sonic and Geoffrey, the two most brash Freedom Fighters. "Remember, not only does he have Casssar, but Snively has proved that he seriously lacks morals."

"We already knew that," said Bunnie.

"Yes...but we...we never thought he was capable of...well..." She was tired of thinking about it, "We never thought he was capable of that sort of...murder."

"We'll take him down," the skunk said calmly, picking up his plate.

Sally nodded and after helping clean up the table, she, Bunnie, and Sonic decided to go down to the Great River to fish and relax. There was not much preparations to be done for the Wolf Pack's arrival. They tended to bring tents and sleep outside; they preferred it.

The grass was green and fresh, and the skies were clear. The blustering wind from the previous days had died down to allow the sun's warmth to seep into the still air.

They caught fish and Sally watched them struggle, dying, suffocating. She wanted to throw them back and let them go free. But she kept thinking _'food, food...we need extra food.'_

Food. Food for thought.

Robotnik had been so easy to take down. It didn't seem right, for evil to crumble like dust. But he had left his marks behind...he had left his influence. He had left an heir.

_'I have to feed,'_ she thought.

She had questions starving to be answered. Thoughts to sort.

_'I'll have to go to Cu, later. To talk.'_

In the meantime, she jerked back on her line, reeling in a glistening silver fish, and bringing it to lay on the emerald ground. It writhed. So easy to die.

Maybe evil could die that easy, too.

* * *

Casssar went down to the command room that fine smoggy morning with a craving. She had woken up quite hungry...for more than one thing. 

She beheld Snively with a slight curl of her lip.

Black Flower did not seem like he would fulfill either hunger today. Her hungers... one of the stomach, churning, growling. She wanted to feast. But Snively hadn't been eating lately. The terrors in his sleep cast shadows around his eyes, put him off his food. His little pale face was darkened with a heavy scowl, bony body sprawled in the throne. He didn't blink to the sight of her.

Her other hunger...she licked her lips. Hunger for flesh, for heat. She had been wanting to share pleasure with him for a long while now.

He lifted his eyes, glaring.

She sighed, a hand clasped to a hip. She did not want to starve today.

A hard sway was put into those full hips; she strode to the throne and stood before him, tall, black, sensual...eyes hooded. Glinting with smoke and lust.

Snively eyed her. His gaze lingered on her lips, as her tongue snuck out to swipe, then traveled over her body. "You're looking...nice...today, Cass."

"Ah. Glad you noticed, Cast." His skin was cold as she touched a finger to his cheek. He did not nuzzle her hand today.

She voiced that aloud. "It's a bit cold in here... Between us."

He jolted back in the throne, casting her a reproachful look. "There's...too...too much to think of. I...I can't seem to fit anything else in my mind. And certainly..." He grabbed her hand sharply by the wrist as it traveled down his stomach. "No room for things like THIS."

"Think about what?" Her teeth bared and she wrenched her hand away. "There is NOTHING to be thought of!" She whirled around, gesturing at the Command room. "Everything here is under control. The city is fine."

Snively grunted. "You don't have to worry, Cass. You don't see what I see."

She turned back, and a hand shot forward, grinding knuckles into his ribs. The day they'd killed Robotnik...she had touched his ribs then, and Snively had cringed and cried out. They had been bruised by his master. And now? He only flinched at her sudden movement. The injuries had healed. "Your body is fine and well again, Black Flower! It will be from NOW ON."

"No," he said stubbornly, and he leaned into her hand, so that those hard knuckles dug even further into his flesh. "No...it never lasts...just when I think I'm away from it..."

Her eyes flashed. "Do you WANT it? Do you MISS it?" And she dropped her hand to his leg, curving claws dug in through pants and broke flesh. He let out a screaming yelp, nearly jumping out of the throne to evade her.

Her hand snapped back, and she smirked. Beautiful red was seeping to stain the gray fabric. She wanted to tear off his pants and lick the blood away. A feast...

"You BITCH!" One small hand balled into a fist. Her smirk darkened into a leer...and he dropped his hand back to his side. "You think I MISS that treatment? You're more disturbed then I thought."

She laughed outright. "Yes...that's correct."

He stared at the glowing red lights across the room. A shudder racked his thin hungry body.

"I can't feel the pleasure, Cass."

"Oh?" She titled her head. Two hands settled on his knees. She fed pleasuring magic through his skin. Snively's eyes widened and a gasp tumbled from him. He clenched his hands over hers, lower lip trembling. "Oh!" He squeaked.

She smiled, Oh yes, he could FEEL that alright. She could too...beautiful dark magic that made the heart race...the flesh harden...the breath quicken...the wetness slicken... A tongue traced her fangs hungrily, staring intently into his pale eyes. Her hunger was worse than ever. She watched his hands, floating up as if by their own accord, shaking so badly, start undoing the clasps of his shirt.

She smiled at the fair strip of skin appearing. "Ah yes, that's it...give into it." There was always someone trying to coax him into submission. But she couldn't resist. This was a rich raw feeling and she wanted to bask in it: the wonderment of wanting to cause someone immeasurable pleasure instead of pain.

If only he would let her. But Snively was being difficult, pushing her hands away to break the spell. He was panting slightly, and his eyes were gleaming, but there was a stubborn twist to his lips. "Stop Cass. I'm not in the mood!"

She eyed the front of his pants with a nasty smirk. "Your body says differently..."

"The body is weak," he hissed.

She laughed outright; Snively looked most displeased. He did not like to be mocked. "You sound like..." But she trailed off, not wanting to bring up the remembrance of his kin...but those words reminded her of the things he'd told her. The things his Uncle had ranted about.

His expression blackened and she tried to divert his attention, to drive his foul mood away. A hand dropped into his lap, trailing magic like static electricity. Groping. He was lost for the moment, his eyes glazing. A slight whimper escaped him. But he resisted again, planting a foot into her chest, shoving hard.

She fell back onto her rear and scowled up at him.

"I told you," he was breathless, "I don't WANT that RIGHT NOW, CASS!"

"Afraid to be weak?" Her voice was a snake-slither. Hissing, sly.

"No..." He looked around the room, piercing eyes searching out every dark corner. "I just have to stay alert. Vigilant."

How boring. A wicked gleam came to her eye. She could force him. Oh yes...she could ensnare him in magic, render him helpless in enchanted bindings. She could force him to feel tormented ecstasy, and he would beg her too, he would plead for her never to stop. Her fingers flexed, she caught his eyes with hers, smoky olive-green mirrors, and his body tensed.

"So what then? You intend to sit here all day, mulling?" The tingles of enslaving sorcery ruffled those long black digits; her smirk darkened with cruel and lustful intent.

Snively cast her a look, and it was such an odd thing...some sort of accepting weariness, like he knew of her cruelty and was just...willing to give in to it... It triggered a painful chord in her.

She remembered that look, she'd seen it reflected in someone else's eyes so many times, so many years ago. It made her insides shiver.

A woman...crouched on the floor, staring up with those eyes, and the man leering over her. Casssar's father. His face was hard-cut and handsome. His body, so firm, and his hands, clenched into fists at his side, so hard and punishing. He liked to use force.

And the woman...the mother... stared up with zombie-eyes...eyes of dead acceptance to the pain and fear...

Her hand relaxed and the evilness faded from her eyes. She stared down at the floor. "Very well, Black Flower." She looked back up at him; Snively was eyeing her cautiously, the odd look fading away. "I just fear...a rift between us."

His expression softened. "There isn't going to be any rift, Cass. I just...have some things to sort out." His face was so vulnerable, so honest. Almost innocent. She imagined he could – and had – used that face to manipulate. And it was working on her, soothing her.

He stared at her, probing, gauging the distance to jump. He knew it was too far to fall. He knew he'd end up broken either way. Staying quiet, or jumping screaming, but maybe broken on the ground he'd find his release?

"Today...is the day my mother died." He uttered in a flat low voice.

Casssar eyed his hands, they were wrung together, like two pale spiders fighting to the death. She moved closer, putting her chin on his bent leg, like a puppy. He had resisted lust but now she offered comfort. Snively's eyes...they were dry. A frozen lake on the verge of melting. Ice starting to crack.

"Ah, I am sorry, " she mummered, and she truly was. She knew well the pain of a mother's death.

"I want to think of her..." He raised his eyes heavenward, blinking, "Just her. But HE keeps creeping in. He always ruined EVERYTHING."

He said it bitterly, but it was a different sort of bitterness than the one that attached itself to all speech of his Uncle. Different somehow. She couldn't tell why, or how, but it was. "Your father?" She said, cautiously.

That full lower lip twisted, his eyebrows knit downward. "Yes. –That- bastard."

"Has he died too?"

"Yes...I think so. At least, I heard he did."

She ran a hand up his side, tenderly.

He did not seem comforted. "Whenever I think of...how she died, I think of him...automatically. Because it was all tied together..." He bit his lip hard, hard enough for a rivulet of blood to trickle down his chin. He shunted back hard in the chair, trying to curl into himself.

Like in the shower. He was going lost again. Casssar wanted to grab him, shake him out of it. She kept her hand on his shirt, gripping harder, so he could feel her...so he could know she was there.

"Please tell me, Black Flower..."

Breathing hard, he raised his head. His eyes were glittering. The ice had cracked and the water underneath was welling up, dripping down his cheeks. "No...no Cass. I don't want..." he gulped. "To say anymore."

But she was immensely curious. "How was it tied together?"

Snively swiped at his tears. His teeth bared, and he hissed. Suddenly furious. "She was sick, Cass. Sick since I was born."

She was quiet. Inviting him to continue. She wasn't going to force him, not when he was this volatile.

"And there were other things too," he sneered, leaning back in the throne. His eyes were still leaking, but his face was twisted in a snarl. "I didn't look like my other siblings. Oh, I wasn't as 'smart' as them, he said. Oh, I was a worthless whiny disappointment." He leaned his smooth bald head on one hand, his lip stuck out in a bitter pout. "He hated me for that."

"Poor Cast," Casssar mummered.

"It wasn't enough to hate me. He had to hurt me..." He sighed heavily. More tears dripped down his face, like a sudden flood unleashed. That lip began trembling; he curled up.

"Yes, Cast, but that's over-"

"He blamed ME!" Snively sat up, slamming his fist down onto the metal throne. "He fucking blamed ME all those years! Do you know how that made me feel? To think I was the cause, all the time, to think I was the one killing her?!"

"For what?"

"FOR HER CANCER!" He screamed, and struggling, he shoved past her, slipping out of the throne. Pacing furiously, his fists clenched at his sides. "And when she died, Cass, he didn't even cry..." His teeth were gnashing; he raised the fisted hands to his head and kneaded them into his temples. "He drank, he drank, and he beat me 'Finally, Finally, SNIVELY, BASTARD, YOU FINALLY SUCKED ALL THE LIFE OUT OF HER! They pulled him off me. He would've killed me. You FUCKING KILLED HER!"

He fell to the floor. "I can't stop hearing-" His sentence aborted; he let out a harrowing scream, nails digging into his temples, gouging the skin.

Casssar stood up, nudging him with her foot. He was starting to whimper and sob now. She stamped her foot down hard. "CAST!"

"No...No, SHUT UP!"

"SNIVELY STOP IT!"

He ceased the screaming, and lay sobbing bitterly, curling into a fetal position. Shaking so badly....it was like poison coursing through him. Black... twisted...so fermented.

She crouched down, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Black Flower, have you told anyone of this before?" She knew he hadn't. Rage filled her, so angry at him...that he would keep such a thing inside! Such a diseased rotting thing locked up, keeping it there, letting it kill him? She shuddered.

He moaned. "Who...who could I tell?"

"You should have screamed of it, Cast." She pulled him upright, clasping her hands to his cheeks. He stared down at the floor, eyes starting to swell red, still oozing wetness. "Radiate your darkness outwards. Never...NEVER stuff it inside."

He lifted only his eyes to look at her; with his down-turned face and pouting lip he looked heartbreaking.

"Scream now." She gave him a little shake. "Yes, Cast, HOWL about it!"

He drew in a deep breath, like he intended to follow her command, but it sputtered out and he moaned. "I've...I've done e-e-enough."

"My poor Cast...my poor Cast..." She hugged him to her, but he began to wiggle.

"I'm fine..."

She was still gazing at him with that sympathetic face, that face imploring him to unburden himself. But he'd already dropped enough crap on her doorstep. No, he 't. "I'm FINE!" He snarled.

The enraged look was plastering itself back on her face. Enraged, determined. "Black Flower, you MUST!" She grabbed his shoulder.

"Dammit!" His voice was shaking, struggling for indifference and strength...blessed numbness. "Leave me be!"

She was insistent...she didn't know why. She couldn't stand for him to keep the poison inside...to keep it in...like she had kept it in as a child...and finally, finally she had begun to rebel. She'd started to scream insanely. She had snapped; and she had went the opposite...instead of taking those dark horrible deeds of her father unto her...and shoving them inside her soul like rusted barbed wire...cutting and tainting her...she had began to talk about it. To scream about it, to throw her pain around like confetti until she was surrounded by the dark falling pieces...but it was only AROUND her now...not INSIDE her anymore. It was like puking up poison, purging it from her body.

She still wasn't right. She knew it. She did know that. But better. Better...and he had to be better too. "Snively," she bellowed, and grabbed him hard by the shoulders again. "Tell everything! Tell it ALL! I won't care if you scream and thrash – just do it, just get it OUT!"

"You sick bitch..." he hissed...and he did thrash, writhing to get out of her grip. "You always want to know the DETAILS, don't you? It's a real turn-on, isn't it?" His eyes were flooding again, but not in sadness or pain anymore. There was just so much livid heat inside him that it was melting his ice exterior.

She opened her mouth to protest, putting her hand on his arm.

Yes, sometimes it was...but not this time.

"Just...just fucking let go, already!" He freed his arm. "JUST GET THE HELL OUT!" A bony finger aimed towards the door.

"Cast, NO!"

"I SAID-"

He was interrupted by the voice of a SWATbot droning over the COM system. "Lord Snively, A prisoner has been captured. Orders to transport to interrogation for questioning?"

Just what he needed. A distraction. Chest heaving, his brow sweating, and his white teeth exposed in a snarl, the small man nodded. "YES!," he was hollering at the walls, "I'll be down in a moment."

"Affirmative, sir."

Snively left the room with his booted feet slamming upon the floor and a cutting glare thrown to Casssar. He left the ermine woman alone in the room, shaking her head...and wishing she had never said a thing.


	7. Black Horse

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 7 : Black Horse

You know sometimes, I wanna rip out your throat

Daddy

For all those things that you said that were mean

I'm gonna make you just as vulnerable as I was, daddy

What's that say about me?

And you know sometimes, I wanna bash in your teeth

Daddy

I'm gonna use your tongue as a stamp

I'm gonna rip your heart out, the way that you did mine

Daddy

Go ahead and psycho-analyze that.

"Daddy" – Jewel

**From the mind...thrashing and screaming...of Snively Kintobar, Tyrant of Robotropolis**

_Daddy was a prick. Daddy was an asshole. I could've took it. I could've endured. But not that - not the blame for her sickness and death. I loved her. It was infused in me – right down to the marrow and nerves and blood...it was something I couldn't get rid of, even if I had wanted to. My love. _

_I somehow remember this particular day more than some of the others. I think it's the day I gave up totally on him. You see, I always harbored a foolish hope that deep down inside he really loved me, his youngest child, and that one day he'd overcome his bitterness and show it. It wouldn't be enough to make up for what he did. But it would be something..._

_Stupid FOOLISH hope. _

_Fool. Fool. Fool. _

_I almost believed him sometimes. I really almost did. I saw her in the coffin, at the ceremony, and I saw my own hands, alive and living...and...it was like the blood running through them was stolen from her. I was a vampire who had sucked out her life. Or a farmer who had planted an evil seed within her and tended it my whole life. Until it grew and strangled her soul._

_God I HATED him so much I could feel my insides turning black from it. And green...seeping into my blue eyes...Like algae. Jealousy. When he touched her, when he talked to THEM, my siblings, like they were all a family, and I was an outsider, some horrible parasite just clinging on the outskirts and trying to rape everyone's happiness. They didn't care either. Even she didn't stand up for me...not always. It was like torture. But I couldn't do the impossible...stop loving her. _

_I wanted him to love me._

* * *

_What a beautiful day! It was early autumn, and blustering warm winds were buffeting the house. Barefoot I twirled around the kitchen floor, humming, piling dishes in the sink and filling it with warm soapy water. _

_It was two months since she'd passed away. But the grief wasn't weighing me down today. I was indulging in the glorious sunlight, opening the curtains wide and pushing the window open. It was so breezy out, and the smells made me feel like a part of the earth and sky. I thought maybe I would go out and ride my bicycle after I finished my chores. It was so hard lately...to feel like a child, but today I was feeling my age...twelve, a carefree young preteen, only glad to be alive and breathing in nature's perfume. _

_Some of mom's figurines lined up on a shelf rattled in the breeze, but I didn't pay attention. The wind didn't seem strong enough to do damage to anything in here. _

_I immersed my hands into the soapy water, and began to diligently scrub dishes. Singing. Mopping strands of my hair out of my face with a wet hand, wrinkling my nose as the water dripped down. It felt wonderfully cool as the air touched it. _

_I could hear thumping in the living room. Daddy. He was the only one home. My skin prickled and my shoulders hunched...but he wasn't coming in here. Vaguely, I could hear the clink of a bottle against glass...he was drinking heavy liquor... _

_I gulped and began to sing louder. To cover up the clinking sounds. I didn't want to think what could happen later if Daddy kept drinking. He got so wild and wrathful...the alcohol pulled monsters out of him, bringing them to the surface. Monsters that hated my existence._

_After a few minutes I had calmed. The wind was picking up, and I couldn't wait to get these last few dishes done so I could run outside. There were a few plates left, and the bottom of the sink was strewn with utensils. I always saved them for last._

_I heard the figurines rattling again, much more severely, and I turned my head to look...eyes widened in horror. NO! NO! One was falling...in slow-motion...and I sprang away from the sink, launching into a dive. My stomach hit the floor and I slid forward, hands outstretched. Tears sprang to my eyes from the harsh friction of floor on skin. _

_But there were worse things than that. Like the figurine. I had missed. It had shattered. Mother's figurine. Irreplaceable because of who it had belonged to. _

_My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes still watering, I began to scrabble to pick up the pieces. It was a little porcelain figure, of an anthro cat. Daddy didn't normally like 'animal-things' but he made an exception for Mom. The head and the left arm had broken off. _

_"What the hell was that noise!?" A voice bellowed from the living room._

_"Uh...n-n-nothing!" I called back, my voice squeaking horribly. I cringed at the sound of it, hating it. Stupid, stupid voice! _

_"That don't sound like nothing, boy..." I heard him grunt as he heaved himself off the chair and his heavy footsteps neared the kitchen. I looked about wildly...clutched in my hands the evidence of my atrocious crime...and all I saw was the trash can. A quick disposal. I stood and stumbled towards it, and was just letting the pieces fall from my hands, turning to eye the door...and seeing him already there. Just entering, his eyes on the trash can. I quickly clutched my hands to myself. Sweat broke on my brow, and the cool air wafting in did not help relieve it. _

_"What the FUCK are you doing, Snively?!" He snarled and approached the can...I backed up against it, trying to hide the contents from him. But he shoved me away with one large hand and stared down at the remains of the figurine. They had landed amidst yesterday's newspaper and leftovers. _

_He just stared...and I began to back away. His face...it was flushing red. His fists...they were starting to clench...and his temple...it had a vein pulsing there, and in his neck too..._

_Finally, he reached a hand in, seeming not to care as foodstuff smeared it. A piece of the figurine was withdrawn, the poor cat's head. He stared down at it for another moment, and then his gaze, like a knife, was thrown to me. My legs went weak and my bladder threatened to empty itself right there... "This..." his voice was a whisper... "Was one of your mother's..." He clenched it in his fist. "You...you broke it..." _

_"It...it was an ACCIDENT!" I squealed. "The wind blew it over...I tried to catch it...I tried, daddy...I..." I could hardly speak now through the trembling in my voice...backing away from him...no please...he was coming at me... his eyes so frightful and angry, like a rabid animal. "I'm SORRY!" _

_"Oh, don't even!" He snarled and a large hand pushed on my chest, pinning me back against the counter. It cut into my back. "Don't you EVEN say that word 'SORRY'! How DARE YOU?!" _

_My lower lip trembled and I felt the traces of humiliating wetness start seeping down my leg. I cursed it. It only made him crueler. I think he enjoyed it, sometimes...knowing he could scare a boy bad enough to piss his fucking pants. It must've been a real treat for him. _

_His eyes were on the piece again, and then he twisted his body and hurled it towards the trash can. Then his attention was turned back to me... his eyes drifting down my pathetic bony little body, the wet spot on my pants. Yellowed crooked teeth bared in a snarl and those smoldering gray-brown eyes were set on me. I believed looks could kill...or mutilate at least. His gaze was ripping me apart. I wanted to scream. "Ain't enough for you to kill her, is it, you worthless little scum? Now you got to ruin the only things left of her? EH?! Is that it, you pile of shit?!" _

_"No-" But his fist was raising back... and my words dissolved into whimpering. _

_He punched me. Each knuckle striving to leave a bruise on my stomach – oh god – it wasn't fair for a fist to hurt so much. It was like he'd thrust a red-hot spear into my gut. I curled up inside my skin, eyes squeezed shut, a breathy grunting gasp expelled from my lungs. Dimly aware of hitting the floor as he stepped away from me._

_He was ranting...I caught his hurtful nasty words, swears and oaths and demands intermingling into one ugly beast language. I tried to close my ears to it. It wasn't hard at the moment. The red haze was filling my vision and the pain was stabbing over and over, like knives. Just from one punch, one blasted punch. What about more? What would they do...kill me? Would daddy kill his own son?_

_No, why kill something you hate? You can't torment it any more after that. What good is your enemy's corpse? It can't feel anymore. And he wanted me to feel. _

_It seemed like hours for me to recover but I did, and it had only been a few minutes. Maybe less than that. He reached down and caught me by the shirt collar, yanking me to my feet and I gagged. Breath I had just retrieved was lost again. _

_He dragged me over to the shelf, and his free hand selected a figurine, a cute little prancing horse, its delicately sculpted mane flowing in an invisible breeze. It had been one of Mother's favorites. She loved horses...they symbolized freedom. Freedom and beauty and the ability to run wild even when confined in a place such as this. I don't know...if she was right. But I almost believed her. I could run free here sometimes...my body would stay in the house, but my mind, like a wild horse, would gallop far far away from here, to greener pastures and skies where the sun never set, and if it did, it was always breathtaking in its death. _

_"You want to break her? Break her then!" He shoved the figurine into my hand. "GO ON! You little mutt, go on and BREAK it!" _

_I stared at the horse -the essence of mother. Free, beautiful, delicate. To break it? To kill it? Like the cancer had killed her? How could I do that? How could I take a piece of her...and throw it away? He was screaming at me to do it. I couldn't. I just couldn't, even with knife stabs in my gut. The tears that spilled from the rims of my eyes were like acid. Burning like guilt. I DIDN'T kill her, I didn't cause her death! _

_"Break it, you little piece of shit! Break it already!" The taunts kept coming, crowding my head. Confusing me. My hand began to tremble; my entire body shivered. _

_I couldn't do it! Even though it was easy. To throw to the floor, to let the hand open and drop the sacred object within... _

_That wasn't easy! In action...maybe...in mind...no! No, no! It was destroying part of her....defiling memories! How could he even WANT me to do that?_

_Hurting me was worth more than her memory. _

_That's sick. _

_I thought that back then, a whole twelve years of age...I thought, 'That's sick. He couldn't want that. It's sick. He's sick. He's WRONG. He does want it. His soul...it's poisoned!'_

_"Daddy, I can't!"_

_"Oh why not?! WHY NOT?!" His breath stank. He was already half-drunk, all tainted, and not just by booze._

_At twelve I knew what a poisoned soul was. And I knew mind-bending hate. How wrong...how so very wrong._

_Do I have to see this? Can I stop it here?  
  
_

_'Oh hell no' – my mind says...it's poisoned too... and part of it hates all this...and part of it wants to keep seeing it. Feeling it...hurting dying...dying. _

_So the memory keeps rolling. _

_"I said DO IT!" His hand lashed out and belted me across the face. I felt spit fly from my mouth, tasted the tang of blood. _

_But still I balked. "I can't, it was HERS!" I cried at him, the tears coursing down my face and my pants wetter than ever. "Don't make me, daddy, PLEASE!" _

_I swore he wasn't human. Not with that face. It was like a monster...a devil...had taken his face and twisted it into a mask of rage and hate... it was frightening. If my bladder hadn't been empty by that time I would've made a puddle on the floor...if I had possessed a weaker heart, it would've given out. _

_"Oh, don't make me?!" He mocked cruelly, grabbing my chin and glaring into my eyes. "You KILLED her! Don't play INNOCENT with me, MAGGOT! I should've..." His hand tightened on my face so hard I thought he'd crush the bones. I whimpered. _

_If I broke it...would he let me be? Was it worth it, defiling her possessions and memories for him?! Of course not. But I was so afraid..._

_Too fucking WEAK._

_I didn't say anything. I just extended my arm and let the horse drop, falling free, galloping to its doom. It hit the floor and the head broke off at the neck...and one of the rear legs went spinning across the linoleum. _

_A sob ripped from my mouth. He just stared at it, like a murderer eyeing the incriminating bloodstain on his floor. Like he'd done something terribly wrong...and yet he was going to cover it up anyway, he was going to pretend it was justified. In his mind it –was- justified. _

_Then...he exploded. He grabbed me hard by the hair and went towards the nearest weapon there was. The stack of plates I had set in the wooden rack to dry. He wanted something more shocking than fists._

_I was released, shoved backwards, my tearing eyes just barely seeing what was coming towards me...not enough time to move... and then my head was snapped to the side by ceramic. One of the dinner plates clutched in his hand. It didn't even break, amazingly. I fell to the floor with blood gushing from my nose and smearing my teeth, gulping breath in a panic, screeching. _

_His boot slammed into the small of my back, and I lost my breath. Strange white noise flooded my head. I could hear him screaming over it, over and over. I didn't want to hear it, but even over my gasps I could. _

_"I HATE YOU!! BAD SEED! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU!" Kick kick kick. His spit was dripping down on me. His boot slamming into my body, over and over, until I couldn't tell when I was breathing or not...it hurt so much either way... and my whole vision was red...I didn't know if my eyes were opened or closed, I was bleeding...was I bleeding? Kick. Kick. KICK._

_"YOU KILLED HER!! I SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU FROM THE BEGINNING!"_

_No...no...I moaned through a mouthful of spittle, drooling onto the floor. I didn't. He was a liar. I didn't do it. _

_"Why couldn't you have died..." He was panting now, dragging me up by the shirtfront. I could vaguely make out his face through the scarlet haze. His face was wet. He held me there, breathing on my face, for several minutes, making these horrible wretched sounds, like growls and wails all at once. If I hadn't hated him SO much at that moment, I might've felt sorry for him. If I hadn't been the one who was feeling the most pain...maybe I could've had sympathy. But no, he killed all that good in me. I just wanted him DEAD. Let him join her if he hurt that fucking much..._

_"Instead of her, why couldn't you?" _

_My vision cleared up. I could breathe again, but my entire body ached when I did. My head was spinning. _

_He still had the dish in his hand. I thought he was done. There was no way I could go out and bicycle now... maybe I would just stagger out and lay on the front lawn. Outside...away...not nearly as far away as horses could fly me...but away, at least. _

_A twelve year old couldn't fathom how deep hate could go. Not yet...there just wasn't enough room in my soul to stuff it all. I wasn't a black hole...bottomless pit of despair, yet. _

_A strangled sound escaped him and he swung. I tried to move, but I was too dazed. My face was accosted by the plate again, and this time I heard it shatter. A piece cut the corner of my mouth, my back slammed into the counter behind me. I tried to distance myself from him, scrambling along the counter, my hands groping the surface for...anything. I let out a yelp as one hand plunged into the sink. The water was still warm. _

_And the bottom was strewn with utensils...because I always saved them for last. My fingers felt the edge of a knife. A sharp one._

_Daddy was coming closer. Unfathomable hate._

_I grabbed the knife and drew it up behind my back. Water slid down my wrist. _

_'Do it...' A voice was whispering to me, dark and silky. 'Do it...'_

_I stared at his stomach. The knife...it would sink in so easy. Right into that flabby gut. The warm blood would ooze all over my hands, it would fill the air like perfume. Blood would come bubbling out of his mouth, and he would give me that look that they give in the movies...that wide-eyed shocked look. That 'how could you do this to me?' look. _

_How couldn't I, was more like it._

_I wanted to, so badly. He was treading on my toes now, those intolerable seething eyes on me. I swung my arm forward, my teeth gritting. _

_I'd kill him. YES._

_'Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.'_

_I would slice him into a million pieces. I would cut his face off. I would sever his fists and shove them into his mouth. I would..._

_He punched me in the crotch. My whole body opened up. My hand... it opened and I dimly heard the splash as the knife returned to its watery grave. My mouth opened, my eyes went wide... 'how could you do this to me?!'... and I collapsed. _

_"I hope it kills you..."_

_"Now you can never make any more of YOU at least..." _

_"You won't join your mother. She's in heaven. You're not going to heaven. You won't see her. She doesn't want to see you. She HATES you."_

_If I had the knife I would stand up and cut his tongue out and let it slide down into his throat...choking him on his lies._

_But I didn't, so I didn't. I couldn't stay there anymore, though. _

_A black horse came and took me away._

_I passed out._

* * *

_I woke up. Facing the interrogation doors. My hands were made into fists, the short nails cutting me. Blood was seeping out between my fingers. _

_I wanted to KILL someone so badly. Whether or not they deserved it. Justice...or freedom. Justice or freedom. Freedom. _

_Liberty from pain. I'll free them all, maybe. They'll never hurt like me._

_A smile cut into my face like the track of a knife. Bold, searing. Scary. _

_I'll free them from me...and me from them. _

_Smiling wider._

_Everyone free from pain all ways around. _

_God...that sounded so good._


	8. She Dies To See Your Madness

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 8 : She Dies to See Your Madness

I drink my drink, and I don't even want to

I think my thoughts when I don't even need to

I never look back cause I don't even want to

And I don't need to

Because I'm getting away with murder

I feel irrational, so confrontational

To tell the truth I am getting away with murder

It isn't possible to never tell the truth

But the reality is I'm getting away with murder.

"Getting Away with Murder" – Papa Roach

Sonic dragged the basketful of fish to one of the wooden picnic tables. Rotor went to retrieve the cutting board and knives to prepare the fish. Bunnie and Sonic were smiling. It could've been any ordinary day.

_'It IS any ordinary day'_, Sally corrected her thoughts.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said, and left. She knew she could get away with a lengthy absence. They all knew she was not keen on gutting fish.

She went down to the secret door. Some kids were playing in the pool and they didn't notice as she slid into the dense foliage.

-You are troubled.- Cu noted as Sally settled herself down on a flat rock. The squirrel sighed.

"Yeah."

-What is wrong?-

"Lupe and her pack are coming. They want to...help us." Sally shrugged. "Get the city back, you know."

She couldn't even imagine what to do with the city, if they ever managed to reclaim it. It'd been her home once, all those years ago. But now it was so warped, so alien...so damaged. They could clean it up, she guessed... But to live there?

She couldn't picture it.

-It is a strange thing to think of.-

"You can say that again," the girl chuckled, staring at the gleaming surface of the Source pool. "But it's like..." She struggled to put words to her unsettling emotion. "It's like...part of me doesn't want to fight...ever again. It's just so sick of it. And the other part..." She picked at a loose thread on her vest. "The other part doesn't ever want to STOP. It can't even ACCEPT that someday the fighting could be over. It's like...it's like part of me will be dead if it ever stops fighting."

-That is because part of it will...-

Sally stared at the ball of Light that was Cu.

-Part of you will be dead, Sally. But death is not a bad thing. Other parts of you will still be alive.-

"But will I miss the dead piece?" She mused. "It wants me to think so... it doesn't want me to stop...It doesn't WANT to die..." Sudden tears stung her eyes... she could see Sonic in the cafe the other day...how he'd flown at Geoffrey in a fury.

"You wish he was still alive, don't you?" The skunk had accused. And Sonic had panicked in a rage. Maybe he did. Maybe some part of him really wanted Robotnik back, so he could never stop fighting and running and trying, so that part of him would never die. What if it did die? He'd be different...but was different a bad thing? Was it a better thing?

_'It's always fear...fear of death...holding us back...' _

* * *

Robotropolis: Interrogation

The girl nearly fell to her knees when the door slid open. Her legs were in restraints that were welded to the floor.

"Oh Goddess...no...not HIM..."

Robotnik was going to come through the door, and she was going to die at the sight of him...she just knew it...her heart was hammering in her chest, trying to kill her before HE did.

She was going to die, and she was so afraid... but her heart would be more merciful to her than HE would.

Beat.

Beat.

Beat... beat faster, heart.

* * *

"You can't tell me things will get better, can you, Cu?"

-No, I am afraid not.-

"I thought maybe you could...see stuff. Like in the future..."

-I cannot. Sally, nothing is certain. Even those who CAN see the future do not see it exactly as it will occur. They only see the most likely way the future will unfold.-

For some reason, this did not unsettle her. Good, maybe...maybe that was good. That she didn't know what was coming... for better or worse. She'd just have to steer it towards better herself, and let the rest work itself out.

"Yes...that's the only way to go. With the flow." She smiled, because it reminded her of something Sonic would say.

-Just watch where the current takes you.-

Yes. Let it ride...but watch out for those sunken logs and those sandbars...and that waterfall right around the bend. Relax until it came time to fight. Flow...just flow with life...

She thought of that part of her pleading with her not to let it die.

Flow with life...and death...

Everything had to die sometime.

* * *

NO, NO, not him, not HIM! She opened her mouth to scream, or maybe to let her heart fly out, because it was crawling up her throat, and beating, beating so hard, all through her.

The doors slid open and someone entered behind her. They circled around to face her. She was shaking, sweating, only a little mew coming from her mouth.

He came into view and halted before her, eyeing her with bottomless freezing eyes...looking UP at her.

Her breath blew out in one shaky long exhale. The sense of relief was so strong she nearly cried. It WASN'T Robotnik! She blinked through her tears, staring at him. It was an Overlander, very short and skinny, and...not sick, exactly. But tired, maybe. World-weary? His eyes, an unusual milky-blue shade, were still focused on her.

He did not look happy.

But she was safe, safe, safe! It wasn't Robotnik!

He gave a shrug, as if unconcerned with what came from his mouth. It was almost like routine. "Well...since you're here, I might as well ask you where Knothole is."

"I was hoping you could tell me," She joked, still flooded with relief. It was like she'd been on the edge of a cliff, and had been pulled back by a savior. The sense of beating death.

He titled his head and stared at her, and something...just something...in his expression...

It made her feel like she was thrown right back to the edge of that cliff, and this time she wasn't just standing there...she was slipping.

She realized, suddenly, with the surge of vomit rising in her throat, that Robotnik was not the only dangerous person in the world...

* * *

Sally was sitting by the edge of the pool, dipping her toes into the Source. It felt cool and warm all at once...and it was very soothing.

-You have questions for me.-

"Uh yeah..." She startled a little, half-closed eyes widening. "I was wondering if you had any insight on Snively. Any ideas of how to handle him."

That sounded dumb. They'd handle him the way they handled Robotnik. They'd keep going at him until he crumbled too. "Not that we don't KNOW what to do," she added firmly. "It's just...ah...I don't know."

She stared down at her toes, wiggling them so they peeked up through the thick liquid. "Sometimes I get tired of having to be...the leader. Tired of being expected to know all the answers, you know. I'm groping too... I'm sometimes playing this by ear too...and I just think...they don't know it."

-I believe they do. But they are afraid to tell you would shatter your confidence, or make you angry. They respect you dearly.-

"I know... sometimes I wish they'd argue against me more. I've made a lot of mistakes, Cu... and they still put their faith in me. It's scary. It's heartening...but it's scary too..." She sighed. "I know Sonic feels like that too... they expect just as much of him as they do me. Maybe more."

The entity was silent.

"Ok. Well let's talk about Snively then." She wrinkled her nose.

-How are you thinking to handle him?-

"Just...go at him. Like we did with Robotnik. It probably won't take much effort... he'll surrender. He isn't like his Uncle."

-And? Other thoughts?-

"Snively... I know I should...be more concerned with him, you know? After what he did here. But he HATED Robotnik so much...I mean, we all KNEW that, even if Robotnik didn't. Which he should've...it was pretty obvious. He hated him the most. Not us."

-But he hates you as well. I can sense that in his imprints. He blames you for participating in his pain.-

"Oh please." She kicked viciously at the Source, wishing it was the needle-nosed brat's face. "We didn't do ANYTHING to him! I hate him, Cu! I sometimes wish I HAD killed him that day. They all think I'm a killer...maybe I should have KILLED!"

-That would not have been best for you, Sally.-

"Like any of this is best..." She mumbled, and then frowned. "Well, I didn't kill him. So now we have to deal with him." She did not want to mope. "What else can you tell me about him?"

-I sense a storm in him. Very near.-

Bah, what else was new? Sally shook her head in contempt. Snively...so overdramatic, the guy was. Always pretending and looking like the epitome of misery.

_'I just wish Cu could see what a faker he is.' _

-I am serious, Sally.- The light seemed to brighten, bathing her in a white glow. –It is hurricane force, right over the horizon. He is very troubled... and dangerous.-

She stood up. "What about...giving up? Does he seem desperate?"

Cu waned a bit. –I cannot tell. He is desperate, yes, but not remorseful, Sally."

One usually required remorse to surrender to their hated enemies. Humbleness. A willingness to be forgiven and forgive... (not that she could forgive him...)...a willingness to at least apologize.

It was that, or... just having nowhere else to go. No options left but surrender... or suicide...as, having read various history texts, she had discovered many despot's lives had ended by their own hand...

And she couldn't imagine Snively...hateful little bastard, killing himself...not without trying to take someone down with him. He was not going to apologize, and he was not out of options...not yet. Maybe he would be when she and Lupe's Pack and the Freedom Fighters all showed up at his doorstep, banging down his doors.

But not yet... He wasn't surrendering yet. She should've known though.

"That was a stupid question... But...what about afraid? Is he afraid?"

The light dimmed even further, like the darkness in Snively's soul...even just thinking about that darkness...was enough to snuff out beautiful bright lights forever...

-Oh yes, Sally. He is grievously afraid.-

* * *

This room was cold. Maybe it was just the man's eyes, still on her, all ice and glaciers and deep hypothermia-inducing waters. She wished he'd stop staring...

"Wh...why do you want to know where that is, anyway?" She glared back at him, trying to shake the unnerving feeling that she was staring Death in the face.

"It's the home base of the core Freedom Fighter group," he snorted, tilting his head again...it reminded her of a falcon cocking its head at a rabbot soon to be its next meal.

"Ah," she said. She sort of knew that. Who didn't know about Sonic and Sally...they were the figureheads of the Freedom Fighting movement. But she hadn't wanted to be a fighter...she just wanted to find a home...a safe place. What place was safer than the impenetrable Knothole?

"I'm sorry," she offered, "But I've never been there. I'd like to know where it is...too..." She fumbled for words. "Erm...not that I was planning on JOINING or anything..." She laughed nervously.

"No, of course not... You don't have the spirit in you."

She snorted, vaguely insulted. "You don't look like you have much SPIRIT, yourself."

He was so pale, so skinny and sick...he was perspiring and his lip was curling to reveal those blunt Overlander teeth.

She wanted to laugh and throw ridicules right in Death's face...because she was afraid. Afraid of those bottomless eyes, with a little specter light way down at the bottom, like ghosts staring out at her. She wanted to ridicule to deny her thoughts. He wasn't Death. He was harmless.

"Where's Robotnik!?" She demanded suddenly. "Where's the evil one himself?"

The small man went ramrod stiff.

"He's dead..." he finally uttered, in a strangling whisper. "Don't you know he's DEAD!? He's no longer ALIVE!!" His voice rose to a fever pitch and his hand went to his belt. She saw a flash of metal.

A gun. A pistol.

She screamed, trying to jump backwards...she merely ended up on her rear, with her ankles still shackled tight in the leg restraints. Tears rose in her eyes.

"He's DEAD!" The small man hissed, clenching the gun in his fist. He wasn't aiming it at her...it was pointed towards the floor. She felt the vomit that was in her throat slowly slide back down into her stomach, a burning putrid mass. "He's DEAD DEAD DEAD!!"

"Alright," she choked. "Alright, he's dead! I believe you, my Goddess!"

"Have you seen him?" The small man questioned. "You didn't see him, did you?" His chest was starting to heave. Her own breathing wasn't quite calm at the moment either... she wondered if he was having some sort of attack. Like panic, maybe. He looked terrified, and yet insanely angry...angry at his own fear.

"No, I didn't see him." She was curious, despite her unease. "How er...how did he die? Did the Freedom Fighters get him?" She tried to keep her voice placid and neutral.

He chuckled, but it sounded more like gagging. "I suppose you could say that. But it was mostly me-" He shut his mouth abruptly, squeezing his eyes closed like a pain had struck him.

"Um?...are you...?"

Those eyes opened, wide and horrified; he was casting hunted glances all around the room and the gun was held up to his chest, quavering.

She felt the vomit tiptoeing up again. Heart still beating...she wished she hadn't urged it to patter so fast. "What...what are you looking for?"

"I left him...I LEFT him! I saw him die...he was DEAD..but he's there. So I don't know what they're doing with him."

"You left who where?" With every word, her voice shook more. She wanted him to stop talking...and she wanted to keep him talking.

Damned.

_'If I do or don't. If he does or doesn't.' _

"Robotnik. In Knothole."

"He died in Knothole?" Now she was thoroughly confused, and her head ached. "But I thought you didn't know where it was-"

"Shut up-" He said abruptly, his brow furrowing. Thinking. His eyes were alit with a furious glow, like lanterns shining behind ice. "I can't remember..."

----

Because of Cu. He KNEW it was Cu's doing....it had stolen his memories of Knothole's location. CU, the powerful...Cu the purifier...the life-bringer? Shuddering hit his form.

It had brought him back from the dead, and he – scared, devastated, had recalled thoughts of the one who'd originally given him life. Mum. Mommy. Mother. His first thoughts of her in a long time. And today was her birthday, he remembered with jolting sickness.

And HIM. He was in the thoughts too. Daddy. It all led back to HIM. The original ABUSER.

_'It's because of him I'm here'. _

He'd run from Daddy only to find Julian. He'd thought Julian could save him.

They were going to bring Julian back from the dead. He was never going to get away.

All because of Daddy.

And his eyes shot wide and the vehemence boiled up again, choking him until he couldn't breathe or see.  
--

She saw something change in him, some kind of shifting in the glaciers in his eyes. Like a storm blowing over the icy sea. She tried to move away from him, but the restraints kept her in place.

She shouldn't have kept him talking. She should've shut up. Because Death was now staring her in the eyes, and he was very very angry.

* * *

"We'll go in, then," said Sally firmly. "We'll go in and show him that's there IS more to fear than he thinks."

-I would be careful.-

"We will," said the squirrel indignantly. "We always are."

-I know. But he's scared and dangerous. He's killing.-

She thought of going in the Command Center and standing before Snively's throne with her father's sword in hand. She thought of thrusting it into him like she'd done with Robotnik. But that had been her own dagger. Maybe she'd use that instead, mingle his blood with his own murderous Uncle's...so they could feel each other...so they could be TOGETHER again when they died. A horrible evil smile spread on her face. Snively would love that, wouldn't he? To join his Uncle again? She could sense his fear, suddenly, like hearing his voice screaming 'NO NO NO! Don't!' in her head and her own triumph...her own sense of joy at hurting him like that.

-Don't Sally. Don't...-

"Don't what?" She was startled, the thoughts fleeing her. She felt like she was stained from where the thoughts touched. She stared at the Source longingly, wondering if it would wash her soul clean.

-Don't try to match your thoughts to his.-

Ugh. She grimaced. "Are you talking about that rubbing off thing again? That I still have Snively's essence on me?"

-Yes. There's still part of him left in your mind...and you could access it if you wanted. But that would keep it alive, like a scab that doesn't heal because of picking.-

She widened her eyes. "I want it to go away."

-Then don't indulge in those thoughts.-

_Is he really that bad? Really that blackened...rotting...sick inside?_

She thought of Snively handing her the knife, when she was ensnared in Casssar's spell, but still realizing what was happening...she thought of his eyes, and his voice.

His face had been blank, and his eyes wintry. His voice was a whisper, but there was no emotion there. She couldn't judge from that...but she thought maybe he wasn't rotting and sick inside...he was already dead.

-You should have let me heal him.-

Cu's voice broke into her analysis...and it was all wrong. She didn't know anything about Snively, not really, she wasn't aware if ANYTHING she guessed about him was right or wrong, and it was so tiring. She was sick of it. But she knew one thing, and it wasn't any essence of his..it was all HER.

She knew she didn't want him to heal.

She didn't want him to live.

"No Cu. I don't think so."

* * *

"WHY WHY WHY?!" The porcelain man ranted, pacing back and forth, like a maddened wolf in a cage, his hands clasped to his head with the pistol pressed cold against his forehead. He whirled to look at her, his eyes savage. "Why did I leave him there? Why couldn't he have died instead?!" She stared at him, not understanding. "Why can NOTHING ever go smoothly for me, girl!? Can you answer that?"

She stuttered, unnerved in the face of such psychotic fury. "B...Because life likes to...trip you up?" He wasn't going to kill her...her heart was. Just like she'd originally planned. Pounding so hard she could scarcely breathe.

"Trip...me...up?" He repeated the words as if having difficulty understanding. "Trip me up? Does life delight in seeing me smash my face repeatedly on the pavement? Does it want to MUTILATE ME?" His arm came out, straight and unwavering, and she nearly screamed. The gun was aimed directly at her, and his eyes were so cold, so icy, like all his molten anger had frozen, hardened, into a wasteland. "And once again, why? Why is a man such as myself the one this LIFE wants to bully? What could a child, unwittingly...unwillingly...born into this shithole...what could a newborn baby do that would invoke such...hatefulness from this LIFE?"

"I don't know!" She cried, her nose dripping snot and the tears streaking her cheeks. "It isn't MY fault!"

"Not..." And suddenly he broke into laughter. No, it was like screaming, but laughing intermingled, it was like he was crying and retching all at once. "Not...not MY fault...!" And even more suddenly, his laughter dissolved into whimpering, like a child beaten and abandoned, "Oh god...oh god..." His eyes were distant; empty. This body was not occupied. He was gone somewhere else.

"Please...not my fault..."

"N-n-no!" She cried loudly; out of fright, and the desire to bring him back, snap him out of it. To scream some logic into his head. But he seemed only to retreat further, muttering and whimpering cryptic phrases of a molested and abused soul. She tried to run again, but she was held fast to the floor; she tugged at the leg restraints until she thought she would tear her muscles from her bones. They would not budge.

"NO!" She screamed finally, at the top of her lungs, her voice cracking. Quiet as a mouse...and Death would pass her by...but Death wasn't like that. It found you no matter what. So she screamed because there was too much panic to keep inside.

His eyes started to focus. "I tried to say no...sometimes. But did it ever help?" A sneer spread across his face. "No...my dear..." And he approached her, coming right up, and the pistol was stroked along her quivering lower lip and her teary cheeks.

"The hard truth is...You're life's little puppet....its little toy. It's going to do whatever it wants with you...and you can't do ANYTHING...ANYTHING about it. It's really very sad..."

She tried to follow the gun as it traced along her jawline, her hands clenched into helpless fists. "I don't...don't' believe that..."

He ignored her, those eyes, so frigidly cold...so empty...glinting up at her. "But it's alright for you..." He whispered, "I'm going to free you from all this...free you from the trap..."

He stepped back a few paces, just enough so he could stretch out one arm, thin and lanky like a white birch limb, to its full length, and the gun barrel too, like an extension of his hand...just far enough back so he could stretch that arm and put the barrel of the gun firmly to her head.

She knew it was her doom; she knew she was dead already. But futile hope urged her to plead.

There were no miracles. No miracles in a city void of hope.

"Free from pain all ways around," he whispered.

It was so simple to kill, and there was something so beautifully elegant in the way his finger pulled back, the way her body fell in slow-motion, upon the floor with hands sprawled over the metal. And then time sped up again and her head thumped back and the blood began to spread like a crimson sheet had been pulled out from under her.

He looked down and saw his reflection...distorted...and then he saw Uncle's mustache...and his teeth...and his eyes burning fire...

Red...

Blood...

So much blood!

It was touching his boots...and it was sprayed onto his hands...

He dropped the gun, wringing his hands together, but the blood just smeared red over his skin. A whimper escaped his mouth and he backed away from the puddle. His gaze lowered and settled on her eyes, staring up at him wide-eyed and accusing.

She was free, right? Free?

But he still wasn't! He would still be here when Uncle marched through the doors in decaying glory. Maybe he'd be linked arm and arm with Daddy.

He wrung his hands furiously. The blood was burning. He could feel it. Couldn't escape it. Their laughing. They were laughing. She stared up at him, and her eyes were no longer accusing...they were filled with mirth. She was screaming in laughter.

He kicked her, rolling her body over, so he couldn't see her face anymore. To the walls he screamed, raking his nails over his arms, "You can't HAVE me, neither of you! I won't LET you!" He couldn't stand still anymore, he ran, a furious mad sprint, down the halls, tearing at himself with his nails, pushing his sleeves back to assault his arms, ripping buttons off his shirt.

It burned, he couldn't stop the burning.

Through the command room he went, face smeared with blood and tears. Out onto the balcony. One of Robotnik's favorite spots in the city. Robotnik and Daddy chased him all the way here, and he was cornered, or so they thought.

Snively knew there was one place he could hide, one place they couldn't find him, and it was on the streets below the balcony, it was in another realm, and he...

Flung himself at the railing, scrabbling to climb up there, and balanced against the wind and smog clouds, right on the edge of Life and Death.

..He only had to jump and they couldn't have him...

"SNIVELY!!" A voice was screaming.

He thought he recognized it, but it was hard to hear over the wind, and he was shaking so bad. It was either down...down onto the balcony where they could rip him apart, or down into the warm foul air, free.

_I can't let them get me..._

_No, you have to fight!_

Fight...fight...flight?

He didn't have a choice now. His foot slipped and he plummeted. A scream ripped from his throat, and his arms flailed.

Something grabbed him. Like a rope around his middle, stopping him in midair harshly, bruising and knocking the air from his lungs. Stars and particles flashed in his eyes and then he was being lifted up, up...and floated to lay gasping and clutching his chest, on the cold floor of the balcony. Someone was staring down at him, gesturing angrily, their mouth moving.

"Casssar," he moaned.

He felt her hands on his shoulders, shaking him. "What are you doing?!" She cried. "CAST!"

"I can't breathe," he whimpered, harshly wheezing.

She put her hands on his chest, and he felt something jolt through him. It hurt slightly, but it seemed like his lungs opened wider, and the air rushed in. He gulped for a moment, and the impact of it made his head spin. He pushed her hands away; they were crackling with magical energy.

He sat up, bracing his back against the balcony railing. His hands were shaking and he clenched them on his knees. The girl's blood smeared them, but it didn't burn anymore. It felt cool where the warm outdoor air brushed it. "I don't know...what came over me."

She eyed the blood, lifting one hand to her lips. He watched, transfixed, as her tongue traced the length of one pale digit.

"It isn't yours," she mused. "Yours is much sweeter than this..."

Sweet like the stench of rotting meat...

"It's...hers. The prisoner's..." He leaned his head back.

"It's dead," she said, tracing her tongue along her lips. Her brow was furrowed. It wasn't an erotic gesture, but for some reason he was enticed anyway. He didn't know why.

"Dead, yes." And suddenly it didn't hurt to say it...he felt the guilt slip away like morning dew off a flower.

A black flower, in the middle of a graveyard. At Uncle's grave?

Uncle didn't have a grave, he was alive...

SHUT UP.

"She's DEAD," he repeated, a little louder, to reinforce the fact.

If he killed Julian once, he'd just kill him again. "I killed her. FREED her."

Julian had deserved it. Or hadn't deserved it, actually. He hadn't deserved to be FREE. But at least his freedom meant the end of other's imprisonment.

Casssar's eyes narrowed and she looked past him, to the clouds and sky beyond. They were so high up, like sitting atop the world. "Did you want to be free, too?"

"No. I don't know what I was thinking." Snively didn't want to tell her about Daddy and Uncle chasing him...not now. That had been so irrational, and stupid. "I'm already free."

He took her hand in his, pressing it to his chest. "Casssar...don't worry about me. This is all over, now. I'm going to be fine now."

He almost believed that, for a minute there. His mouth was smiling at her.

Uncle wasn't coming for him.

Daddy wasn't coming.

He was free, he was with the one he loved.  
There wasn't going to be any more pain.

He really believed that, for a minute there.

* * *

**From the mind, confused and loving, of Casssar, Queen of Robotropolis.**

_This is where the darkness started to seep in, to seep in to stain the bones._

_His mouth was smiling when his lips touched mine. He said he was alright now. _

_He wasn't though. He probably never would be._

_This is where the darkness started to seep in, to rupture the mind like a cleaver, leaving a wound so deep and broad that it couldn't ever heal._

_He said he was alright, but people like me and him, we don't ever heal, never. We can fight it. Cover it. Stitch it up, and struggle against the disease. _

_But the scars never disappear. _

_He said he'd be alright, but I didn't believe him. _

_I moved myself beside him, casting a glance over my shoulder at the miles of unembracing air below us...the fall I'd just saved him from. _

_Chased...he must have been. I know the feel of chased well. Everyone does. We all flee from something. Even if we aren't running....even if we're standing still. _

_I did not know the entirety of Black Flower's dark life. But I could guess which two people could chase him so long, so ruthlessly and hard, that it would drive him to death. His Uncle. The first, and foremost choice...I could see the fear in his eyes when the lights were dimmed and the red buttons on the console glowed. When I spoke the words, "Come here," it was like a shocking slap to the face. _

_And his father. _

_My eyes narrowed into slits. Fathers. Fathers...I mouthed the word. Daddy. _

_A ripple of disgust went through me, like filthy hands stroking my spine. I hated the word 'daddy'..._

_A child's voice was singing. And a woman's voice was babbling. I folded my ears down, trying to block out the words. _

_'Daddy, O, Daddy', I sighed_

_'Why couldn't you be a good daddy?'_

_'He was evil', my mommy cried_

_'He's evil; I can't take it,' and she pulled_

_The trigger right in front_

_Of my little girl eyes._

_Oh! Oh! I told the child singing to shut up. I don't want to know her, bruised and white-furred and with eyes of innocence...draped over with_ _a veil of fear... I don't want to remember her. She gets angry at me for that. _

_I stared down at the brink again, wrapping one arm around Black Flower's body and pulling him against me. He laid his head on my breast, letting out a shuddering breath. A time ago, I could've jumped off the railing too, being so chased by Daddy. A time ago. I curled my lip. _

_Not now. I was strong now. _

_But a time ago...  
_

* * *

_A girl was running. Me. Staring at the ground, at white feet splashing in every mud puddle and the gray grit. It was the Great War, the beginning of it. There were soldiers and war freighters rumbling by; nobody noticed the slender white figure weaving through the streets, nobody paid attention to the ragged curses and shouts from behind me. _

_"Faster, please, just go faster." I spoke to my feet. They were flying over the ground. But he was getting closer behind me; I swore I could feel his hands just missing the back of my neck. _

_I glanced behind me. No, he wasn't that close. His fur was the same pearly hue as mine, but his eyes weren't the doe-eyed stare of his daughter's, they were mean and narrowed, alit with anger and lust and cruel things. When he caught me..._

_I had never run before, not to this extent, never this much of a distance. I begged my legs to keep up their strength and carry me further, beyond his reaches eternally. How wonderful that would be. But while he lived, he would always hunt me...I knew it. He told me so._

_Mommy had gotten away._

_I gulped in a breath of the smoky air, gagging, my lungs burning. A war freighter was coming down the street ahead of me. A huge machine with many rumbling wheels carrying it forward. I would cross its path in moments...If I ran faster I could make it. If I stopped I would be blocked off, and Daddy would catch me. _

_I misjudged the distance. I had plenty of time to make it, but I stopped anyway...I halted in the path of the war monster coming at me, and I stared it down. Those wheels, ripping up the muddy streets, leaving huge ruts. I pictured myself churning underneath them, fur flying like snow, blood falling like rain. Bones breaking and pain fleeing, fears coming to rest shredded on the ground. _

_"HEY!" A voice hollered. "Hey YO! Get the freak out of the way, girl!" _

_I looked to the right. An armadillo solider was beckoning angrily at me from the side of the General Store. _

_I looked to the left. Daddy was coming, he was snarling and spit was sliding off his lips, his hands were outstretched as if he could grab me from a distance. I felt hard shudders go through me. I HATED his hands so much...I hated how the fingers crawled, and probed, and..._

_If I stayed still, right here, I could get away from them forever._

_"HEY! ARE YOU DEAF?! BLIND?!" The armadillo was scowling and running towards me. _

_I moved. _

_I moved to the right...I let him grab my arm and pull me away. The freighter roared by, and I stared at it. I couldn't see Daddy anymore. _

_"Sorry," I gasped. "I wasn't paying attention..." I stared into the soldier's black eyes. He looked grim. _

_"It wouldn't be a good way to go," he said, and released my arm. "Now get out of here." _

_I nodded. And ran, with tears gathering in my eyes. If I'd stood there, gazing headstrong at Death, I could have escaped! I could have ended the chase forever. _

_My legs were strong, and the blood was pumping through them. They wanted me to keep running...so I did. I never went back again.  
_

* * *

_  
"Your father is dead," I said, nuzzling my chin against his head. "He can't harm you anymore." _

_He mumbled something. Then a bit louder, he queried, "What about your father, Cass? What ever happened to him?"_

_"I'm not sure. I ran away when I was ten." _

_"Do you hope he's dead?" Black Flower blinked up at me, milky blue eyes swimming with haunts. _

_'Are you glad he's dead?" I had asked Black Flower a few days ago about his Uncle, and he had answered scathingly honest: "Yes." _

_My response was not laid out bare in front of my eyes. It was clothed, layers upon layers of dusty and blood-caked clothing. I tried to shed them, but there were too many. I gave the only response that made sense.  
_

_"I don't know." _

_He blinked again. His breath was warm on my breast and his fingers were straying, absentmindedly, to my thigh, stroking. It felt nice. "How could you not know? I imagine it would be a simple answer." _

_I shifted my leg so his fingers slid to the inside of my thigh. He was calm now...and I was still hungry..._

_"Not so, Black Flower. Your Uncle was poisoned always...but my father was not. I knew him before the Source tainted him." I sighed, and he eyed me silently, his fingers sifting through the soft black fur. "I suppose I hoped to...perhaps heal him someday, and bring him back."_

_"But the man he is now?" _

_"I care nothing for him." Another sigh escaped me and I put my hand atop his, guiding it to lay upon delicate areas in the junction between legs. I heard his breath hitch a bit and I smiled. Ah yes, that did feel nice, just the presence, the weight of his hand there. "I only want the man who WAS to live." _

_"What if he's dead? What if he can't be brought back?"_

_"Then I..." I pressed his hand a bit more urgently, wishing the conversation's end. It was unsettling. I wanted to grab the bony juts of his shoulders and press him to the railing, drinking viciously of his mouth. "...I still can't say I wish him dead. Not...not when there's a hope."_

_"Hope," Snively muttered, and he stroked one delicate finger upon me, bringing shivers like a rush of cold water over the nerves. "Hope is such a fickle thing, Cass. It's a tease." He nodded, a fierce light in his eyes. "It gestates there in your mind, like a ray of light and beauty, but it's all FAKE, Cass. It doesn't REALLY exist." He tilted his head up, planting a kiss upon my neck. "Hope is the mind's way of coping...the body's way of keeping you alive for just one more day." _

_"Then why do you still cling to it?" I mummered, leaning my head down, lips brushing his. "Why haven't you thrown yourself over..." I tilted my head towards the endless realm of air beyond the balcony, "If everything of light and beauty is just a fantasy?" _

_A frown creased the skin between his eyes. He glared at me, his teeth bared against my lips, accosting the kiss. "I..." And he trailed off. _

_"Hope itself might be an illusion, but the things it pertains to? Love, happiness, peace...? They exist." I was trembling, lips still pressed to his teeth, the barrier preventing the connection between us. I clasped his hand again, pressing it to me. "I have you, Black Flower." _

_His teeth were sheathed; his lips were finally yielding. Whispering now, I crept my hand onto his thigh, caressing, "You have me. Did you not hope for this, Cast? At some point, did you not HOPE for US?" _

_He didn't answer. His slight body pushed against mine, demanding I submit, and I did...the balcony floor was cold on my back. He was so light though, so small and fragile, but warm, his body atop mine. We kissed for a long while, hardly breathing, hardly speaking. I could feel our pulses combined, throbbing through the floor of the balcony. And the metal didn't seem so cold anymore. _

_Skies were gray above me, but I thought I could see the sun shining through...for the second time this week. _

_I knew, if I found him, maybe now...maybe I had the power to coax my real father away from the evil that ensnared him. Maybe it had even lost its grip already, and he was searching for me, desperate to find the daughter he'd lost. Maybe? I had hope._

_Snively finally broke his mouth from mine. With half-closed eyes, his warm breath upon my face, he whispered. "Yes...I did." _


	9. Witch Princess

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 9 : Witch Princess

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming

I cannot cease for the fear of silent nights

Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming

The goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple skies fly over me.

"Imaginary" – Evanescence

Two days later.

Sally awoke with a start. She heard loud voices outside. Lupe and her pack must have arrived, and they were being greeted. But no...she tilted her head, frowning. These voices were angry.

She rose from the bed and shed her pink nightgown, changing quickly into vest and boots, strapping NICOLE to one, and exited the hut. Outside, Sonic was aiming a gloved finger at a small group of villagers. They weren't looking at each other though, they were staring at the wall of Sally's hut. She stopped and watched them.

"We didn't do it!" One of the group whined defiantly. "We don't believe that crap!"

"Oh sure!" Sonic growled, and one of his feet tapped impatiently. "You just happened to be walking by, I bet!"

"That's right, and you better lay off or-"

Sally reached the group. "What is going on here?" She demanded, and then she glanced to the wall of her hut.

Written in large bold letters of mud was the word "WITCH". Beneath the wall, the dirt had scoop marks from the angry fingers that had smeared the accusation.

"I bet we can get fingerprints or something off this!" Sonic jabbed his glove at the word, his eyes fiercely alight. "Then we'll find out who did it!"

"And do what to 'em?" A male dog stepped forward in the group. "She might not believe that 'crap'," He aimed a thumb at the whiny female who was still shaking her head. "But I'm not so sure, myself!" He eyed Sally with a cold steely gaze. "I saw some of the stuff she did. She used MAGIC against that black lady."

"Whatever," retorted Sonic, even though he'd seen the battle between Sally and Casssar as well, and could hardly deny that his lover had used unearthly powers. "Whatever, you don't know. Croissant has magic...but Sally doesn't. I think you should be blaming Croissant for all this!"

"That's Casssar," Sally corrected and touched a finger to the 'W' on the wall. "But Sonic's right...Casssar is the enemy! Casssar and Snively." She refrained from adding, _'Not me! Not me! What is wrong with you, have I ever tried to HARM any of you!?'_ Her tongue itched to say it.

"But you don't deny using magic! Huh?"

"Who cares if she did?!" Sonic butted in. "So what? Dulcy can do magic and no one says crap about her!"

"She's a dragon. Dragons are SUPPOSED to have Powers." Another iron-hard gaze was thrown to Sally. "And Dulcy never killed anyone."

"It was ROBOTNIK," Sonic seethed. "He DESERVED it!"

"Killin' ain't right, but some people just have it comin'," an accented voice cut in. Sally turned to see Bunnie and Geoffrey. "Ah would've killed the basthad too, if Ah had caught him in Knothole before Sally-girl had."

Geoffrey nodded. "Shit, yeah. You can't tell me you wouldn't kill Robotnik to protect Knothole." He sneered, fangs glinting. "Or maybe you wouldn't, you bunch of pansies. You'd probably just LET him round everyone up, eh? You know what he'd DO? He'd KILL all of you!"

"HEY!" A small raccoon nervously waved a hand at Geoffrey. "You got some of us together, remember? We WERE fighting!" He shivered. "But that black lady...she did something... Can't remember anything after that. Except waking up and seeing Robotnik dead." He blinked. "I didn't even know the Princess had...had killed him."

"There's too many un-answered questions," the whiny lady complained. "That's the problem. Maybe you should explain to everyone, Princess. So that we know what REALLY happened!"

Sally kept staring at the word. Witch. It held so much negative connotations. But there was nothing wrong with magic-users. They just had a special ability, that's all, like Sonic's speed, or Tails' flying. It was the fact that they thought she used her so-called Powers for evil, for murder. Even the murder of the one they all feared and hated. It was scary...scary to know someone had the power to murder. _'But I used a knife,'_ she thought cynically. _'Anyone can do THAT.'_

Casssar was a witch. A dark witch. It was SHE who had possessed the villagers, and turned them into murderers. They didn't know that. They couldn't. They couldn't know, because Daddy was preventing her from telling them the truth. That they had been controlled by Casssar through the Source... They couldn't know that Cu Chulainne had helped her fight Casssar off and wipe Snively's memory clean of the location of Knothole. No...all they could know was that their Princess had killed Robotnik, and that she had fought the strange black lady with magic, and that they themselves had been in some sort of magical coma, unable to remember what they had done. What a dilemma.

"Maybe I will," she said wearily. "Maybe I WILL explain everything." She thought of her father, and was suddenly angry. _Maybe HE should explain it,_ she hissed inwardly. "But first...the Wolf Pack will be arriving, and we have to plan for a mission." She turned her back on the group, facing Sonic, Geoffrey, and Bunnie. Behind her, she heard them grumbling, but they dispersed.

Geoffrey was giving her an odd look. It took her a moment to understand it, but as a small smile curled his lips, she realized it was... comprehension. As if he were sharing her secret with her. Sonic just looked peeved, his green eyes glaring at her hut wall.

"Ok," she said, shrugging off Geoffrey's look; it gave her a pang of discomfort. She appreciated his sympathy...but it didn't FEEL like just pretense...it felt like he really KNEW. But that was impossible. Unless he'd followed her and saw her go in the secret door?

_'No. I was always careful. There was never anyone around.' _

"Ok, well, like I told them, we need to start thinking up a game plan for when the wolves get here. If we want to get Snively out of power..."

"Yeah. We do." Geoffrey nodded, the smile fading from his lips, but remaining in his eyes, little conspiring twinkles.

A red and white shoe kicked against the wall of her hut. "I think we should get this trash off here, first." Sonic rubbed his glove angrily against the letter "T."

"Ah agree!" said Bunnie.

"Ah, what's the point?" A large sigh escaped the Princess. "They'll just do it again."

"Ya'll can't take that kind of treatment!" Bunnie scowled, pushing one floppy ear out of her face. She put her organic arm around Sally. "C'mon now, Sally-girl, don't let them fools get ta ya!"

"Alright," She relented.

They spent the next hour washing the muddy word off her hut, and Bunnie took it upon herself to pull the weeds in Sally's flower garden and wash her windows.

"Now ya'll can come over to mah place," said Bunnie after they were finished. Sonic grimaced.

Geoffrey chuckled. "I think MY hut needs a little more attention...I've got a whole pile of dirty dishes..."

"Pig," Sonic said, and Geoffrey scoffed.

"Oh sure, hedgehog, last time I saw your place it looked like a tornado had hit-"

"Now, now, boys," Bunnie playfully gave them both a shove.

Antoine came running up, tripping over a rock. He fell in pile at Bunnie's feet and she pulled him up. As she brushed off his uniform, Antoine panted, "Pardon moi, but zee Wolf Pack is being on their ways here. Tails and I saw from zee lookout tower....he is leading them here right now."

"Way past," Sonic said, grinning. He was a big fan of Lupe's. Geoffrey was nodding...he was fond of Lupe too, but not for the same reason as Sonic. The hedgehog loved her confident poise and soft, but determined attitude. Geoffrey...well...

"I hope she's still wearing that lil blue get-up," he said.

"Let's go to the firepit to meet them," Sally suggested, before any of the chastising comments in Bunnie's head could reach her mouth. Sonic discarded his muddy gloves on Sally's front step and they made their way to the village center, gathering around the remains of the previous fire.

* * *

"My Goddess."

Lupe's usually calm stern eyes were filled with awe. Impressed. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached into the wooden box that housed the gleaming metal arm, ears and eyes of the late Julian Robotnik. Those gray digits ran along the cold length of the arm, then withdrew. Her mouth became a thin determined line. "Your people are fierce warriors indeed, Princess."

To Sally's surprise and dismay, Lupe and her followers dropped to one knee before her. "We are humbled before such strength."

"Oh no...n-n-no," Sally stammered, crouching down in front of the Wolven Chieftain and grabbing her by the shoulders. She stood up, pulling Lupe with her. "No, don't bow."

_'You don't know what really happened.'_

"We're not any higher than you."

Sonic looked about to crack a joke, but he seemed to sense something, his lover's shame, and he nodded vigorously. "Yeah, c'mon guys, stand up."

"We're ALL Freedom Fighters," Bunnie said.

The wolves stood, but they still beheld Sally with reverent eyes all through the dinner.

* * *

She was grateful for the fall of night, for around the campfire the twinkling light in the wolves' eyes could be attributed to the crackling flames.

The fire was sizzling. Tails, Dulcy, and their wolf pup friends were throwing pine needles onto the burning embers.

Lupe looked over the fire at Sally. "What is going on the city? How is it faring?"

"We haven't been there yet," the Princess admitted. "I imagine it's the same as ever."

"Dark n' ugly," said Tails.

"And stinky," said Dulcy, fanning her nose. The two wolf cubs giggled.

"We're thinking," Geoffrey gestured at himself and Tory. "That security might be a little lax around there. Snively not being smart like his ole Uncle and all."

Sally stiffened. What a fool thing to say. She held her sharpest reprimands back. "Even if that's so, we CAN'T underestimate him." She was like a broken record. But she had never been one of the ones who deemed their enemy a stupid baby. Well...a baby, maybe. Immature.

But a baby with cunning in those big blue eyes.

The chieftain's soft voice agreed. "No, no. I imagine we shouldn't."

Her eyes were probing Sally for something. She wondered what, trying to hide her discomfort, as the sparks popped out of the fire like burning fireflies. One landed on Lupe's foot and she didn't flinch. The wolf's eyes were so placid yet strong, like the eye of a storm. She was like a goddess, a great beautiful goddess connected to Mobius itself.

_'Like Cu. But not like Cu.' _

Cu was not disappointed by a lack of strength. Cu did not damn weakness or confusion or hate. Sally had a feeling, that if the wolf goddess were to sift through her thoughts she would be most displeased. She might even be disgusted.

She didn't ever want to see disappointment in Lupe's gaze, never wanted it directed at her. She glanced over at Sonic and Geoffrey. And not at them. Her mind's eye saw her father. And never, ever towards him.

"We'll see how smart he is, I guess," said Sonic. "I don't think it matters. Robuttnik was smart, wasn't he? And now..." He jerked his head towards the flames. "He's nothing."

There was silence for a long while. The children went to bed. The flames died down. Some plans were laid out in quiet tones, until finally, Sonic yawned and announced that everyone needed sleep. He put his arm around Sally as they left, walking her to her hut.

"Night, Sal."

"Goodnight, Sonic."

* * *

**From the pen of Princess Sally Acorn**

_Dear Journal..._

_Today we woke up early and despite the oncoming autumn, the air held warmth, and the morning sun was turning the leaves to shimmering copper rust and red fire. Gods, it was utterly gorgeous. A day to feel ALIVE. A day for victories. _

_We didn't march like soldiers to the brink of the dark city. We skipped and sang and laughed. Spirits were high even as we drew near to the heart of Robotropolis, where the colors and light disappeared._

_We started off by destroying a few factories. We spoke into every SpyEye in sight, telling Snively it was all over. His retaliation was weak and easily fought back. The city was in shambles and disorganized. Snively was nowhere near the strategist of his Uncle, and he lacked that fierce passion, that feeling of 'this is personal.' Everything was personal to Robotnik. _

_Snively came out to confront us, with SWATbots and a laser rifle. He fought to the end, which was surprising to me. Maybe I should be a little sad. One of Lupe's pack took him down with a shot to the heart. _

_Maybe I should cry a bit, thinking about his small body lying amidst the junk and dirt, a total failure...a total waste of life. No but no...maybe I shouldn't. He chose to waste it. We'll burn him, though, or bury him....give him some last respect at least._

_So...in high spirits we returned home and we'll be drawing up plans later to rebuild Mobotropolis. Daddy is smiling for real today._

_I saved the best thing for last, Journal. Sonic and I kissed at the edge of Robotropolis, after our victory. It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I can't even begin to describe it. But here... it was so warm, so tender. So connected. I could feel his soul and he could feel mine, and there was no uncertainty anymore. He knows he'll never be useless; he'll always be pivotal to MY world. And I know I'll never be alone in my burdens ever again. Because he'll carry them too. _

_We're going to tell Daddy tonight...that we're going to get married. _

_This is the best day of my life. If I died right now, I would die fulfilled. But let us hope that many more days lie ahead. I just know they'll be filled with light from now on.  
_

* * *

Morning in Knothole. Uncle Chuck was standing by the firepit, his robotic hide gleaming in the early light.

Lupe and a few of her pack members smiled at him. "We heard of your bravery," she said. "But it's not the first time you've saved Knothole, is it?"

Uncle Chuck smiled and shook his head. "It's just part of the job."

"Eh?" Sonic looked at Sally, confused. The squirrel looked tired, but strangely elated. Her hair was mussed from sleep but she didn't seem concerned. _'Strange,'_ the hedgehog thought.

She shrugged.

Lupe raised an eyebrow, elaborating. "King Acorn told of Sir Charles's last minute save. He hacked into the Robotropolis mainframe and erased Knothole's coordinates. So Snively couldn't come back."

"Oh uh, yeah!" Sonic said, grinning broadly. "Yup, my Uncle Chuck is a smart one."

Sally stared at Charles. He smiled.

"I didn't know you-" She began and then nodded. "Yes, Charles's bravery has saved us a few times before." She grinned at Lupe's expression, that unsettling searching look. "It's been so hectic around here, that I'm afraid I'm getting a little air-brained."

The wolf Chieftain nodded.

Sonic glanced at his watch. "We'd better get ready and get on the road. I can't wait to bust some ole Snidely butt."

The elated look on Sally's face faded. "Yes," she said, and excused herself. She strode off quickly, with both hedgehog and wolf eyes staring bemusedly after her.

* * *

"Hey Sal, whatsa matter?" Sonic stood outside her bathroom door ten minutes later. He could hear small sniffling sounds.

"Oh nothing." She threw open the door and he jumped back. "I just had this dream, Sonic, that it was ALL over. It was just so beautiful." She angrily swiped at her messy hair, her eyes wet. "And this morning, I still was thinking it was real! Until you reminded me of the mission!"

"Gee Sal, I'm sorry," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "But hey, your dream is gonna be real, real soon!"

Dear Journal, someday I'll look back and believe all the lies. Someday all the lies will be truth.  
_  
How many lies have to build up before a truth is born underneath them, like a diamond being formed from coal? Can I even dig it out, will I have the strength to? And what happens to all the lies, how many hands will they stain, how many coal miners will have blackened skin and lungs at the end of it all? _

Sonic was eating a piece of candy off the bowl on her kitchen table. "Hey Sal," he said, chewing, "How come Snively didn't come back? I don't remember Uncle Chuck talking about doing that."

"I don't know. Maybe he just forgot."

"Him? Forget something like that?" Sonic chortled. "Yeah right, Sal! Did someone use a memory scrambler on him again?"

"I don't know. Maybe they did..."

Yeah, they had. But she couldn't tell him that.

"I just think it's kind of weird, that's all," he said, taking a few more pieces of candy before escorting her outside.

"It is," she agreed.

Next time I open the hut door and crawl inside my bed, I hope I'm smiling and not crying...I hope the war is over and not still thriving. I hope dreams do come true. Or at least, the good dreams. Because HE dreams too...

The group was assembled. Lupe and three of her pack members. Canis, Diablo and Thunderhill. Bunnie. Geoffrey. Sonic and Sally.

They began to walk. Surprising, Sonic slowed his usual hectic pace, perhaps out of honor for their guests.

Thunderhill eyed the distant city with a disgusted eye. "Instead of this skulking about we're going to be doing, why do we not just go in and kill the little rat?"

Sally glanced over at him. "You guys are willing to kill him?" She thought of her dream, and eyed them. They had their mechanical crossbows with them. Feather-ended bolts ready to plunge into the tyrant's heart.

"Yes," the wolf answered savagely, but Lupe's silken voice cut in.

"We are willing if we must. If he surrenders, then it is cowardice to kill him." She eyed Sally keenly. "And it is your decision, or your father's, is it not?"

"No," said Sally, after a moment's pause. "I don't know. He'd say it was. But I don't know. Snively didn't just hurt us...he and Robotnik hurt everyone."

"Very well." The Chieftain cast Thunderhill an icy look. "We will kill him if we must, but otherwise, there is to be no death."

The wolf snorted. Geoffrey rolled his eyes.

Dear Journal, will I seem callous if I agree with them? That, as much as justice would be better...having Snively serve time (his lifespan and nothing less) for his crimes? Rotting in the knowledge of all the wrong he did? That would be better, but the bigger part of me wants to see him dead on the ground.

They reached the outskirts of the city.

They went further in, to the looming clanking hissing smog-spewing factories...and this was their goal for the day. A simple test of cause and effect.

He dreams too – but broken dreams. Broken dreams don't come true.


	10. Severed Message

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 10 : Severed Message

My shadow has disappeared

And so has my ghost

I'm still waiting....

I'll get you before you get me

And I suppose I might leave

Cause I can see, I see my killer

Cause I can see

See my killer.

"Gunner" – Denali

A/N: ARGH! FF . net is seriously pissing me off. It keeps getting rid of some of my italics and nothing I do can make them stay! So, there are parts in this that are supposed to be italiced (thoughts and stuff like that), so if you come across them it's 's FF . net's fault, not mine! XD

* * *

Robotropolis – Dining Hall

"This could've been a bird. Singing in the sky. Free as the wind and all that. And now look at it."

"What a pleasant thought...do you always have such lovely thoughts first thing in the morning?" Casssar looked across the small metal table at Snively, who was holding a forkful of egg up to his mouth, the yolk oozing back onto his plate.

"No..." He grinned and ate the bite of egg. "Just think, Casssar," He said, chewing, "That bird could've crapped on my hovercraft windshield, but it can't now, eh? Stop things in advance, Cass, that's what you have to do."

"Black Flower..." She groaned and took a sip of coffee – black and strong, just the way she liked it. "There are plenty of days for planning. Let's take today to..." A devious grin showed over the rim of the coffee mug, "have a little FUN."

Snively eyed her, stabbing another clump of egg with his fork. Then a mad smile lit up his face. "I've been wanting to try that Jacuzzi of Julian's out. The fat bastard NEVER let me use it...well, I did when he was gone...and it's nice, Cass. I think you'll enjoy the water jets..."

She cackled. "What a stimulating thought..."

"Yes." He laughed.

* * *

The west side of Robotropolis used to be a glorious place. It had been a lush dreamworld in Sally's childhood mind. Nothing but joy there...in the salt-spray air, daddy smiling at her, twirling her into the sky and water. Sand had been between her toes. By the water it was smushy and wet and further in, it was dry, soft and warm, so wonderful to lay upon.

The bay...the aquamarine jewel of Mobotropolis.

It had been, anyway. Now the waters were poisoned and black, and the beach was a place only a madman would tred barefoot upon. The smell was a constant stench of rotting fish and sickly gray slime that grew upon the trash and charred rocks.

Two factories loomed like cliff walls on the curving shore. They took the filthy water and purified it, for the city denizen's use. '_All two of them,' _she thought dryly.

It surely was not the most important target in the world – the water refinery – but it was something. For the test of cause, it was.

They were going to cause the refinery to go bye-bye in a lovely blaze of exploding glory.

Sally had something else in mind, a blow to Snively's face along with the destruction of his water supply. She hoped it would put pride in Lupe's eyes, and fear in Snively's.  
  
I don't care about being careful. No skulking and hiding this time. I want him to SEE.

She almost couldn't wait for that moment. But first, she had to pay attention to the mission.

"Ok," she said aloud. "Let's get the explosives set." She stuck out her arm. "Synchronize watches."

The rest extended their arms; the wolves had watches they had borrowed. After all watches were set to the exact timer, they ran off in separate directions to plant their explosive canisters around the refinery.

Sally's trek took her to the rear of the refinery. She ran delicately along the vast pipes that extended from the building out into the putrid black water. She set a few canisters along the pipes and then made her way back to the shore.

The wind blew back her hair, filling her nose with the poison air. It burned her nostrils. She narrowed her eyes, staring out over the water. It was so dark, and where it met the horizon, the distant blue sky almost seemed to glow neon, just a blazing azure strip of sky below the gray clouds. She shivered. Her father used to tell her stories...about shipwrecks, about ancient civilizations of sea creatures under the waves who...if they favored a sailor, they would take him to shore, or down to their city, using magic to help them breathe.

If they didn't favor you...well...you were left to drown in the deep waters. She imagined any enchanted sailors and sea-creatures were dead now. She didn't think anything could survive in that water now...

There wasn't even a bird in the sky.

Dear Journal, I was wishing to be a leaf again, or a bird, so I could fly over the waves far away, and maybe find a place where the water ran clear again, a shoreline with trees and bushes. A place without corruption.

_I don't even know...if there's a place like that anymore...or if there EVER was._

She followed the pipe back to the refinery, planting a few explosives around where the pipes connected to the dirty gray walls. Then she leapt down to the sand, stumbling over a piece of debris. She caught herself with her hands, nearly slicing one on a glass shard lying dangerously close.

"Ugh," she grunted, standing up. "What a mess..."

It would take us years to clean this place if we ever win the city back. It might not ever be the same, not in my lifetime, anyway.

Angrily, she kicked the glass shard away. Seconds later, the glowing red of a laser blast exploded next to it.

She turned sharply on her heel. A SWATbot was standing, its arm outstretched, wrist-laser aimed towards her. "Surrender, Intruder," it demanded.

"Crap," she said, midnight-blue eyes narrowing. She took a few steps back, pretending to trip and land upon her rear. A pitiful wail filled the air.

The SWATbot advanced, the threatening arm held outwards. She reached behind her, feeling the sharp edges in her hand.

Robotnik's SWATbots didn't shoot when they thought their prey was helpless. He wanted them alive – so he could go beyond killing them, so he could damn them to robotic hell, like a spiteful dark God. The thought made her sneer, the expression jarring on her pretty face. Snively apparently hadn't changed any SWATbot protocol.

But who's to say this is good or bad? But lazy, it seems. Lazy. Lazy child, you'll pay for that, Snively.

She hurled the hunk of glass at the bot. The laser blast hit accurately and shattered the glass; Sally was already upon the bot before it could refocus, her dagger in hand. The handle was hard wood, the blade a sharpened rock. Ideal for cutting the neck wires of a SWATbot.

Strong legs vaulted her upon the SWAT's back and she hooked one arm around its neck, the other quickly slicing through the wires. She gritted her teeth as the sparking ends touched her fur and crackled.

The bot fell silently and she landed upon the sand. This time, her hand didn't avoid its fate with the glass. A sliver sliced into her palm and the warm blood oozed.

_I won, but I was wounded. _She pressed her other hand to the cut. _Funny, isn't it, Journal? That's how this whole war has gone.  
_

* * *

Sonic and Thunderhill were the first back to the meeting spot. Sonic eyed the brown wolf with a wary grin. Thunderhill had a dagger in his hand and he was flipping it and catching it by the handle. Sonic kept expecting him to cut himself at any moment.

"This is gonna rock," the hedgehog commented, staring at the refinery.

"I suppose," the wolf grunted. "If you like pretty fireworks."

Sonic cast a sidelong glance at him. His watch was ticking down, and from their view atop a hill, he could see Lupe and the others approaching. But Sally wasn't there...

"And what do you like, dude?"

The knife handle landed firmly in the large brown paw and the blade was jutted towards Sonic. The hedgehog blinked but didn't recoil. "I'd like to see his entrails spilling onto the floor. No games. Straight to the-," Thunderhill extended the knife, so the tip poked into Sonic's peach chest fur, "-point."

The hedgehog lowered his head and his eyes focused on the shining metal. Slowly, his lip curled into a snarl.

* * *

**From the mind of Sonic 'I don't like death 'Hedgehog...**

_I don't know what came over me. I'm usually so calm and cool, ya know? 'Steels of Nerves' as ole Ant would say. But at that moment, I just wanted to strangle the guy, or maybe spin-dash him into a million pieces. _

_It's really weird...me wanting to hurt him. When it was him talking about hurting others that made me so mad. _

_Maybe I'm just scared...that I have a killer in me too..._

_Maybe I'm scared Sally does. _

_"I heard talk around the town. It was your female that killed him."_

_Thunderhill had a smirky sort of look on his face. It made my hackles raise. I hated it. The bloodlust. It was like Robotnik, sort of. Ole Fat-boy always wanted to hurt people. He got jollies from it. _

_"Fine woman. A fine woman, most definitely."_

_Don't talk about her, you cretin. I don't want you looking at my girl. She isn't like you. _

_"I'm sure she's proud. And I'm sure you honor her, right?" _

_I wished the others would get here. I was starting to get that trembling feel in my legs, the feeling I get when I need to RUN and fight and RUN. And rip apart metal with my spin-dashes. My spin-dash could probably rip him apart, like a saw blade. I bet it could. His guts would be the ones on the ground._

_I gulped and looked up. I guess I needed to see his face in order to get control. I have to remember that he's a living person. I pushed the knife away with my gloved hand. "No, she isn't. Sally doesn't LIKE to kill. She wasn't herself that day."_

_He put the knife away, finally. "Oh? Is that so? It sounds more like the whining of a hero too afraid to get his hands wet..."_

_What a chump. I really don't want Sally hanging around him. He'll make her feel awful. She DIDN'T like what she did, I know it! I don't like it either, but I know Sally was in a strange state of mind. Robotnik was in the village. She flipped out. She lost it; she was just trying to protect us and everything. It was either Robotnik or us. And hey, I don't have any problem with it being Robuttnik. _

_Sally? Where was she, anyway? I squinted down the hill, trying to ignore Thunderhill's stare, his stupid fangs glinting. "It ain't like that, buddy," I spoke without looking at his ugly mug. "We just don't think killing is right. It's a last resort for us." _

_"Perhaps Lupe underestimated the valor of your group." Thunderhill snorted. _

_I finally looked at him. I was really pissed off at this point. "Lupe is one of the smartest people around, besides Sally. She KNOWS people. If she says she respects us, then she respects us!" _

_I just couldn't believe Lupe was in the same league as this guy. They weren't anything alike. Lupe was WISE, that's what she was. Like Rosie or Uncle Chuck. She isn't some chump who's gonna hate us because we don't believe in killing people. Even if she believes in it herself, she's like...respectful, you know? She would never think bad of us because of that. Never. _

_This guy is a moron._

_"Ah Lupe," he says, as the beautiful Chieftain finally comes up to us. "How did it go?"_

_"Fine," she answered. The rest of the group was coming up behind her. I glanced around and didn't see Sally's face._

_"Where's Sally?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried._

_Everyone peered about. No sign of her. _

_I had a wild thought then, of Sally marching into the command Center with a knife. Snively was cowering in the throne like the pansy he is. Sally grabs him by the shirt collar and raises her other hand. _

_She's got her knife...and she stabs it into his stomach over and over and he makes these really horrible squealing noises. All his guts fall on the floor. _

_No way!! Sally isn't ANYTHING like that...she's not like that at all. I suddenly glared over at Thunderhill and his stupid face...I hated him so much in that moment. I hated him and the Death that he coveted....I hated him for thinking Sally was like him._

She's NOT.

_I stared down the hill again, trying to look cool. _

_Where the hell was she, anyway?  
_

* * *

Sally was running. She was sprinting along the shore. She was following a SpyEye. It wasn't moving very fast, and it wasn't looking at her. She glanced over her shoulder, trying to gauge the distance between here and the meeting hill, her quick mind trying to calculate the time it would take to get there. They would be waiting for her, by now, most likely.

She leaned down while running and scooped up a piece of debris. One eye shut and aimed on the floating camera and she let the garbage chunk fly. It hit the camera squarely and knocked it to the sand. She was upon it in moments, disconnecting the visual wire and tucking it under her arm.

He WOULD see now, for sure. When she was ready.

She checked her watch. Three minutes to detonation.

She turned, and running madly, made for the hill.

* * *

Four delicate fingers cut a path through steam. A ragged crooked path, like the scratches still healing on his arms. Snively could see himself, mostly obscured by a veil of white coating the bathroom mirror, but clearly, clearly through those finger-made paths he could see his eyes.

The eyes, an empty blue, a frozen lake or the internals of a cold lonely glacier. Casssar said his eyes were beautiful.

Snively blinked one eye slowly, watching his lid slide over pupil and retina and cornea, till the lashes lay closed in a soft brown fringe. Maybe he liked his eye better like this, hidden away.

Casssar said they were lovely – she said they were a Wonder of Mobius. 'Or they should be, anyway,' her sensuous voice had chuckled.

But he didn't. He wasn't sure about THAT. Everyone said eyes were the window to the soul. If his eyes led to his soul, then there was no way his eyes were beautiful. His eyes were the gates to Hell.

'Don't let them deceive you,' he'd told Casssar.

Snively drifted from the bathroom to his bedroom, catching a glimpse of himself in the full-length mirror. Robotnik used to stare into that mirror. Snively's body was a contrast to that massive form. Milk-pale, reed-slender. Weak. He twisted his arms to see the self-inflicted scratches, a small smile tugging his lips. The scratches were blooming rose-red against their white backdrop. It was oddly beautiful, in some strange way.

_'Like Snow White,'_ he thought with a sneer. Red as blood, white as snow. Black as ebony? He narrowed those pale eyes. No black on his body, but inside, his heart was as dark as charred wood. Ebony indeed.

Bah. He stuck his tongue out at the mirror and narrowed his Gates in defiance of the weakling reflection. Let that reflection rot there. Let it seethe with all its memories and fuck-ups. He didn't care. He wasn't even that person anymore.

"Fuck you Robotnik..." he whispered, "and fuck you, Snively..." He turned away from the mirror. "I'm a Black Flower now..."

Robotnik's Jacuzzi room was a room Snively had saw very little of in the old days. The metal walls, instead of being smooth, were large paneled tile made of different colors of metal. Copper and Bronze tiles were intermingled with the usual steel alloy that made up the rest of the city's interior. The floor was some kind of dark metal, or stone perhaps, he couldn't tell.

He padded in, white towel wrapped about his waist. His skin was still wet from his recent shower.

In the center of the room, sunk into the floor, with steps leading down, was the pit of bubbling frothy water. He blinked.

Casssar was waiting for him. She was dancing. She seemed oblivious to his presence, twirling and swaying as smooth as fog across the room. Arms lifted and curled to an unheard song, but he could imagine it: something, dark, rhythmic. Chanting maybe. She half-turned in a slow lazy motion, peering over her shoulder at him. "Was it necessary to bathe your entire body? You are just going to get wet again."

He'd spilled coffee on himself at breakfast. So he'd showered. It had burnt his leg and reminded him of the blood. Just the thought of Julian's caustic fluids had started the awful blood specks burning on his body again. He really couldn't stand it.

But it was washed off now – for now. Until it came back...

"I felt a bit unclean," he said.

She was still dancing, delicate steps around the perimeter of the Jacuzzi. The black body was turned away from him, her tail floating out lazily in an arc around her. He stared at her rear, and gulped.

"For some reason, I'm starting to feel that way again."

Casssar let loose her sensuous laugh. It wrapped around him. Nerves all over his body tingled like tiny sparking wires, and he shivered. She winked. She knew all that trembling wasn't from cold...the room was steamy and warm as a jungle.

"This is called Shadow Dancing," She informed him, while her hands did their own little dance across her body. He watched them, utterly intrigued. "My mother was teaching me. Before Daddy found the Source..." She smiled slightly, swaying a bit closer to him. "She didn't dance after that. I almost forgot about it, myself. But..." She grinned, leaning her face into his. "I suppose I didn't."

"Your mother didn't include the fondling, did she?" Snively returned a devious grin.

"No." Another one of those warm laughs made him tingle. "That's my own personal..." One of her hands drifted to his towel. "...Touch."

He blushed as she pulled the towel away and let it drop to the floor. "Well, let's get in already," he mumbled, staring down at the tile. She chuckled and grabbed one of his slender wrists, and pulled him down the steps into the Jacuzzi.

* * *

"Shit happens. Everyone dies eventually. The end."

Shit happens. – It didn't have to happen on his time. He wouldn't let it.

Everyone dies eventually. – Yeah, so? You couldn't beat Death, but that didn't mean you had to lay down for it.

Why do you have to lay down for Life, then? Why do you have to let Life dance you around like a little puppet? Sonic frowned. He frowned hard. He'd never thought of it that way before.

The end – Did anything ever end? Really? He didn't know that. He wasn't the philosophical type. The Acorn's Royal Symbol was an Arborous, a snake that bit its own tail. It meant that things went around and around with beginning and endings overlapping. In a sense, there wasn't any beginning or end.

Shit, his head hurt. No wonder he didn't think very often. So Sonic focused on what he did best. He put every ounce of focus into running.

"Sally...where are you?"

He whipped around the factory. She wasn't in sight. He dashed to the massive pipes that brought water into the refinery; that was Sally's area to place explosives. The explosives were there, so she'd made it this far, at least. He hopped atop a pipe, surveying the area.

There was a SWATbot laying on the sand below.

He leapt down and dashed along the beach, following the indentations in the sand.

There she was! Running this way, her hair so bright against the gray sky. He stopped and watched her for a moment; she was running with her head down and her arms pistoning. Quite fast for a regular Mobian.

Pretty slow to him.

"Sally!" He was before her in seconds. "Where the heck have you been?!" He thrust his watch into her face. "There's like a minute before ka-blooey!"

He reached for her arm, then noticed the disengaged SpyEye. "What's that for?"

"You'll see," she said mysteriously.

"Alright," he said begrudgingly. He didn't like being kept out of the loop, especially Sally's loop. "Let's get back then." Without further words, he scooped her into his arms and took off for the hill.

She clutched the SpyEye tight. It was the only guarantee he would see.

* * *

Snively sank into the bubbles until they rode up around his bare shoulders. The heat wrapped him like a warm blanket and he sighed blissfully. Across from him, Casssar winked, letting out a similar contented sound.

"This is quite nice, Black Flower."

"Oh yes. Just wait till I turn on the jets-"

He faltered in mid-reach. He could feel the floor trembling, as if afflicted by a slight earthquake. Red lights began to flash, silently; there were no klaxon sirens. Which was a good thing. But red flashy lights were never a good sign in Robotropolis.

He could see the red blinking on the water, turning it from clear to scarlet. Like blood. He grimaced and shut his eyes tight. "What now? What now?!"

"It must be a rebel attack," Casssar said, casually. Her foot moved underwater and nestled into his lap.

He sank back down. "I should see what's going on."

"Then go," said she, with a devious smile. Her toes curled, groping.

"...there's no sirens. It probably isn't serious..." He sat up again and turned on the jets. Casssar's smile lingered. Finally, Black Flower was learning to relax!

"Mmmm..." She arched her back against the pulsing jet behind her. "Feels nice..."

"Yes," he said, distractedly. His eyes were half-closed, his head titled back onto the Jacuzzi's headrest. "It does..." He stared up at the light. Red. Red. Red. "Maybe I should go..."

She purred. "Ignore it."

"At least turn off the lights," he said. "I can't..." he mumbled incoherently and stirred his hand lazily about in the water. "They're bothering me."

"They're just lights." Her eyes were flashing. Her toes continued massaging into his lap and he sighed.

"Just lights, right."

"Right."

"Right," he chuckled. "Maybe they showed up to surrender."

She yawned contentedly. "They can surrender –after- we get out."

He was blocking out the lights now. It seemed easy when he focused on Cass's lazy smile, and the feel of her feet fondling him. The jets were massaging his muscles, almost forcing him to lay back and relax.

Ok. So maybe that was a good idea. Snively thought maybe he'd listen to her, for once. She leaned forward, and he tilted his head to kiss, only a lip-space away...

When the sirens went off.

* * *

The explosion had been beautiful. Beyond fireworks. Even Thunderhill had seemed delighted at the flumes of smoke that rose up like the innards of a flower, surrounded by petals of flame. The ground had rocked under their feet.

They had left quickly. The sound of water...water gushing everywhere...out of the building, crashing down onto the streets, pouring into the city and back into the ocean...even their hill seemed a bit too close to the flood.

Sally was glad. She wanted to be closer to the citadel. She had her eyes and thoughts on something that wavered there. A flag of Robotropolis, torn at the edges, a brilliant red flag iconed with a black circle in the middle, and in the middle of that? A bold yellow R for Robotnik, for Robotropolis. It stood for everything she hated in this life.

"Let's go," she said, as they strode towards the looming Death Egg. Sonic and Bunnie shot her a quizzical look, but said nothing; the wolves all followed obediently. Geoffrey kept looking backwards at the billowing cloud of smoke. He seemed very pleased at the sight.

So was Sally. But it wasn't enough. She was vaguely surprised to see not much retaliation...no SWATbot troops bearing down on them, no hovercraft on their tails.

She pictured Snively coming out and surrendering, his mouth twisted into a pout, begging for mercy. That was one scenario. Or maybe he was in the control room, with his pistol in his mouth, unable to live anymore, knowing that he was going to lose. Maybe he was tired of being a loser his whole life.

She hoped he wouldn't kill himself, because she wanted him to live suffering. It was what he deserved. He didn't deserve to suicide, didn't deserve peace. It wasn't fair for him to run into eternity and escape the punishment, escape the PAIN that he deserved.

Her jaw was aching. She realized she was clenching her teeth, snarling, her hands made into hard fists. Sonic was casting her an odd look, but she ignored him. They were in front of the citadel and she could see the flag wavering from the immense cement block it was planted in. Looming above the flag was a hideous statue of Robotnik, with his arm pointing downwards, like a God condemning them from the heavens.

"First thing we gotta do, when we get the city back, is get rid of this ugly thing," Sonic commented, giving the statue a thumbs-down.

"Yes," she said, idly. She aimed a finger at the flag. "Bunnie, could you get that for me?"

"Well shore..." The rabbot raised an eyebrow but did as instructed. Her powerful robotic arm snapped the flagpole off at the base and she brought the Robotropolian banner over to Sally.

"Hold onto it for a moment."

"Alraight." Bunnie looked over at Sonic. The hedgehog shrugged.

She took the SpyEye from under her arm and reconnected the visual wire. Then she let it go. It hovered, its red glaring lens staring at them. It would stay there, she knew...they were programmed to follow intruders.

She beckoned for Bunnie to hand her the flag. The Rabbot did, and Sally took it and set it firmly onto the ground beside her, holding it like a war banner. It fluttered in a weak breeze.

She stared back at the camera.

"Snively. I hope you're listening. For your sake."

* * *

His bare feet slapped upon the floors. Crisp and sharp. Echoing anxiety and anger. His brow was furrowed, his breathing labored as Snively finally arrived before the doors of the command center. His towel was hanging askew at his waist. He was shivering...after leaving the heat of the Jacuzzi the air felt like ice. He expected the water on his skin to start freezing over at any minute.

When he entered, red, yellow, and blue lights were flashing on the computer console. He was grateful, in some unconscious way, for the yellow and blue. He went over, still dripping onto the floor, and scanned for the source of the sirens.

It was the water refinery. It had been attacked. He brought up a surveillance cam view from a factory across the street, taking note of the smoke and flooding streets. The fire. The sheer damage. He swore and slammed a fist onto the console.

There was a light blinking, indicating SpyEye feed of intruders. With his eye still trained on the footage of the smoldering refinery, he hit a button and another monitor lit up with the new footage.

"...Hope you're listening. For your sake."

He saw Princess Sally.

* * *

She peered into the rotating red lens, picturing his face staring back. She saw his eyes widen and his mouth drop. He was sweating in fear, and she smiled viciously. She kept the image of Snively subdued, Snively in terror, in her head. It helped fuel her words with that edge of confidence.

"I have a message for you. Your battle is useless. You can't win this, Snively. Your uncle tried, he gave his life for it. There's some things you can't break, no matter how much hate and anger you pile on them. I'm telling you this Snively, to give you a chance to back down."

Thunderhill snorted in the background, but Lupe silenced further remarks with a wave of her hand. Bunnie and Sonic stood behind Sally, their faces gone from bewildered to stern as they too gazed into the camera lens. They were always there to back her up.

"It isn't our role to bring death. But we can, Snively...you've seen what happened to Robotnik. We might not have wanted it exactly that way, but we've shown that we can create that outcome. Believe me," and here a slender accusing finger jabbed towards the lens, "I could care less if you live or die. Honestly. That's up to you...if you surrender peacefully then we'll have no reason to harm you...aside from your deserved punishment."

Sonic nodded. Bunnie's gleaming arm rested on her hip. "That's raight sugah, ya'll just come out-"

Sally turned her head. There was something fierce in her midnight-blue gaze...it silenced the rabbot in the midst of her words. She stuttered for a moment, then shut her mouth, averting her eyes to the ground. Sally turned back to the camera. Her body was trembling slightly.

Dear Journal...I wish it had just gone like my vision. With Snively coming out and dying so there was nothing to worry about. I think maybe, if I saw him dead...all this horrible anger and hate inside me would just dissipate...like morning fog. I really can't stand the feeling of it inside me. It's like a black fungus...spreading around my insides.

_I wonder if it's from him. If it's Snively's thoughts...like Cu said...he left remnants...he left a touch on my soul. The fingerprints Cu was talking about. I want to think these bitter feelings are from Snively. I don't want to believe they can come from ME._

I wish Cu was here. It could tell me what is mine and what is his.

_Maybe I don't want Cu here._

_Maybe Cu would tell me this is all me. _

_Maybe I'm not a good person at all._

Oh well. Good or not...She was still better than Snively. And she still didn't care if he died...she wanted it. She still wanted it, even if she was good.

She didn't know about the visual wire in the SpyEye. She hadn't wiggled it in all the way, and now it began to wiggle its way out again, threatening to sever her visual and audio connection to the tyrant.

She thrust the flag of Robotropolis into the hard ground, her head lowered. She glared under her eyelashes at the lens, her most hateful, unnerving stare she could muster, trying to convey all her loathing for this flag and all it stood for...in that gaze.

"If you fight us, Snively...you will die."

Her hair blew. Eyes smoldered. And the flag of Robotnik flapped in the sudden breeze.

The SpyeEye wire popped out.

* * *

Behind Sally, the statue of Robotnik aimed its condemning finger. Snively couldn't see his face, but he could imagine it in reality...Robotnik's glowing eyes, his gleaming square teeth. The blue and yellow lights faded out...all Snively could see was the red. The red. The red.

Sally's eyes were blue, but they had something in them...something like Robotnik. Giving a threat and a promise of pain. Of death. She had Robotnik's flag in her hand, her fingers wrapped around it, and her lips formed awful words.

Snively felt dizzy, backing away from the monitor. Sally with Robotnik's flag.

"You will die."

Sally with Robotnik's flag.

The screen turned to static; the last thing he saw was the banner unfurling in the breeze, revealing its emblem of Robotnik, the harbinger of all his pain...

He could hear the growl in her voice, the enunciation of each word.

'You.'

She had his flag. She was allied with HIM, now.

'Will.'

She was going to go back to Knothole and Cu Chulainne would surround Robotnik's putrid, rotting corpse with light...

'Die.'

He would get to his feet. He wouldn't care about Knothole, or Sally, or Sonic, anymore.

Robotnik was coming. Sally would bring him. He was coming.

Snively was going to die.

He moaned, bringing hands to his head. His knees were weak and he stumbled against the console, shivering violently. He curled up against it, strange noises coming from his throat.

A prey aware of its oncoming slaughter.

* * *

Sally didn't notice the red glow of the SpyEye's lens had died out. She was throwing herself into her words, fevered, barely even aware of the other Freedom Fighters around her. They were silent, eyes locked onto her slight trembling body.

"But it can end here...it can end NOW, Snively! Give yourself up. Enough death. Enough slavery. Your uncle is DEAD. His reign is over...and his empire is turning to dust. We aren't going to let it stand anymore. I can promise you that."

There was still no retaliation. No hovercrafts or robot troops. Maybe Snively was really listening to her. She scoffed inwardly.

She doubted it. If there was one thing she and Snively shared, it was their stubbornness. The little brat would wave her words away, like so much water rolling off a duck's back, to splash useless and unnoticed upon the floor. Nothing she said would affect Snively.

_He probably will die then,_ she thought, with a spark of fierce pleasure. As much as she wanted to see him dead, she would stick to her word; she wouldn't kill him if he surrendered peacefully.

Maybe I'm better than...I thought?

But was restraint necessarily goodness? If she held back her urge to harm, did it make her a better person?

Can evilness be measured by mere intent, or does if have to include action? If I don't act on it, am I still good...or am I still wicked for even having the thought within me?

Her voice began to tremble severely, on the verge of breaking.

I'm NOT evil...I'm NOT bad. Action always speaks louder than words, they say. It IS the action of evil that makes a person truly evil! IT HAS TO BE.

She threw the flag onto the ground, viciously and sudden, as if it'd burnt her. "This is ALL over, Snively...just let it GO! This KILLS everyone when you hold onto it. You can have a chance. You can live again. You don't deserve it, but you can have it, Snively...just LET HIM GO." She kicked a clod of dirt onto the flag, sullying the brilliant scarlet cloth.

She turned away from the dead camera, her eyes gleaming with tears. "Let's go," she said to Sonic. "Let's just get out of here."

They left.

Sonic looked back at the fallen flag, and his mouth twisted. "I wonder if he'll listen..."

Thunderhill snorted and fingered the knife in his belt. "I hope not."

* * *

Casssar followed the wet slicked footsteps to the control room. She was shivering by the time she got there. Her fur was sodden and sticking to her skin, chilling her.

Another sort of shiver hit her when she entered...a sick jolting feeling down her spine as her ears witnessed the sound of pain...a combination of hoarse sobbing and whimpering.

Snively was curled in a fetal ball by the console, his towel twisted around his waist, head buried in his arms. Goosebumps were all over his pale skin and he was shaking even more violently than she.

"Cast...?" She approached him cautiously, her breath held in her lungs. "Cast...what is wrong?"

He didn't acknowledge her. She stared down at him, so white and tiny against the vast metal floor. So _weak. _

A sudden flash of memory made her grimace...the sight of floating above herself...seeing her little girl form, with its white snowy fur, cringing on the floor, so pathetically helpless... She always seemed to float out when Daddy loomed over her, his hands on her legs, his eyes dead-lust.

She hated to see herself. She hated to be in that skin even more...back then.

She stared down at Snively and her mouth curled into a snarl, her sharp teeth flashing. She HATED to see him like that!

She reached down, so roughly, and dug her claws into his shoulder, throwing him to a sitting position against the console.

He stared at her in shock, blood trickling down onto his collarbone. His small body was pressed back against the console, his arms clutched to his chest. His eyes were insanely wide, spilling over with tears.

"Cast..." Her snarl faded at the sight of him, so bound up in fear.

She had hated to be in her skin back then...but her skin hadn't deserved what had happened to it. It hadn't been able to fight it, not then.

His eyes, pale and luminous, were staring right through her. One finger touched the trickling blood and smeared it over the white skin. "He's coming..." It was a weak whisper. "He's coming...they're bringing him..."

She stared over the room. A monitor was hissing with static; another showed a view of some building by the bay, terribly damaged by explosives. It was still smoking and the streets were flooded.

"What has happened?" she demanded.

He curled up again. His eyes closed...he looked spent and hopeless. "It doesn't matter," he said dully.

"It looks quite bad." She eyed the monitor again. "Maybe you should take care of this."

He didn't answer.

"Cast..." She nudged him with her foot. "You must take care of it."

"Leave me alone..." he rolled over onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling. His skin was still prickled with goosebumps but he wasn't shivering anymore. "It doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"He's coming."

"No, he isn't!" She reached down and picked him off the floor. She cradled him in her arms just as a baby. He was limp and unresponsive. "Get this idea out of your head! He IS NOT coming back!"

Snively's eyes shifted from the ceiling to her face, just staring, for a long unnerving moment. Something mad touched them, lighting up, like a flare under ice. "SHE's bringing him back...she said so. She bloody SAID SO!" He aimed a finger at the hissing static-ridden monitor. "She had his flag...she said he was coming...Don't tell me it's NOT TRUE, Cass!"

The ermine seemed at a loss for words, then firmly shook her head. "Cu wouldn't bring him back. I KNOW it wouldn't." She knelt down and deposited him back on the floor.

He didn't stay there for long...he stood, retying the drooping towel around his waist. A few buttons were pushed and the flashing lights winked out. The two monitors regained their usual black screens, plunging the room into twilight. He pushed another button and spoke. "All Techbots and SWATbots in Sector D, report to the Water Refinery. Begin emergency clean-up."

There was an affirmative response and he closed the COM-link, turning to lean back against the console.

Casssar crossed her arms. "What are you going to do now, Black Flower?"

She thought he was calm. Collected now. All the stupid fantasies flown out of his head.

But as he stared at her, his mouth twisted and he began to sob again, sliding down to his haunches. "I'll KILL them all, Cass. I'll KILL THEM ALL! Before they can bring him back."

He looked up, his eyes blazing. "Next time they come. You just watch..."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I so do love a good massacre."

* * *

**From the mind of dementia – Snively Kintobar.**

_She thinks I'm joking._

_I think I could kill myself right now, just to escape the fear. Julian was always the nightmare of my existence, and the plague of my dreams. And I finally rid myself of him...but he stays with me...he's in my skin...he's in my damn blood. That's how deeply he hurt me...he scarred me on the inside...and they won't heal...and they won't let me forget. Ever._

_I thought he was gone though. I can live with scars, I suppose, as long as their maker is gone. _

_Princess Sally Acorn... _

_She's bringing him back. She really hates me that much. I always hated her too... the way she judges with that gaze, and the way she has a control that I don't. _

_I always admired her, in some twisted way too...I always even thought...she was beautiful. I fantasized about her sometimes...I wanted her too...sometimes. Ah, hate and love can coincide, you know. But now? Hate has tipped the scales._

_That beauty and that courage and that DAMN heart...they're all going to die. _

_Casssar thinks I'm joking. _

_She always underestimated me, from the beginning. Casssar likes to mother me, she likes to act like I'm her childhood self...she wants to save me because she couldn't save herself. _

_I'll save my own self._


	11. Dodging

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 11 : Dodging

Oh daddy, you know you make me cry...

How can you love me? I don't understand why.

Oh daddy, if I could make you see...

If there's been a fool around, it's got to be me. Yes, it's got to be me.

Why are you right when I'm so wrong? I'm so weak but you're so strong.

Everything you do is just so right.

And I can't walk away from you, baby

Even if I tried.

"Oh Daddy" – Fleetwood Mac

* * *

Two days passed by in Knothole village. They were odd days...seeming to drag at some points, and speeding along merrily in others. The leaves didn't quit falling at their manic pace. Soon all the tree limbs would be bare.

Sally wasn't a big fan of winter. She dreaded its coming. At least...now that she and Sonic had reconciled...she no longer need fear spending the cold nights alone. She could imagine cuddling with him in the cafe before the fire, like they had last year.

There was one good thing about winter, then.

Of course...they normally cuddled by the bonfire on summer nights. So...

Maybe there wasn't one good thing about winter, then.

"I find it kind of strange...that the little molerat didn't fight back at all," Geoffrey was picking at his teeth as he stood on the edge of the community garden. Bunnie and Sally were knelt down on the earth, pondering how long it would be before the crops would be gone for the year.

"Please, don't ya'll be insultin' molerats," said Bunnie, her merry laugh filling the air.

"Heh." Geoffrey snorted. "Ya gotta point there, Ms. Rabbot. But still..." He kicked roughly at a weed; the poor thing was already half-dead anyway. "It is weird, ain't it?"

"Shore. But we are talkin' about ole Snively here. What ain't weird about 'im?"

"It's pure laziness," said Sally. "I just think Snively is too lazy to retaliate. He probably figures we can't hurt him."

Bunnie half-heartedly pulled a few weeds. "Well, I dunno. Maybe he jest knows it's a losin' fight. But he ain't about to just give in. So he jest sits there."

"Maybe he's plannin' something huge," said Geoffrey. "Givin' us a false sense of security. Maybe he wants us to think he's an idiot."

"At any rate..." Sally stood up, brushing dirt off her knees. "We have to start planning for the next mission."

"Is it going to be the ONE?"

Sally shrugged. "I don't know. Should it be?"

Geoffrey gave her a sidelong look, spitting out his toothpick. "Well, we don't intend to keep playin' around, do we? What kind of question is that, luv?"

"I don't know..." She sighed and adjusted her vest, staring dully off towards the meeting hall. "I guess maybe...maybe I just don't feel like fighting anymore. Even though...it would be the last fight. You know?"

"No." Geoffrey was frowning. "I don't. I'm lookin' forward to the last fight."

Bunnie was intent – or pretending to be – on pulling weeds. "Change can be scary. Even changes fer the better." She finally looked up, leaf-green eyes...the only hint of Springtime around... seeking out Sally. "But everythang changes."

"Real phil-O-sophical, Ms Rabbot." Geoffrey scoffed. "But it shouldn't even be a matter of bein' scared. We HAVE to take down Snively, that's all there is to it. Why wait? The more we wait, the more time we're givin' him to plan out more shit."

"Is ole Snidely even that smart?" Sonic revved into the garden, knocking Geoff's beret off his head. "Why you guys even botherin' with weeds? All that stuff is gonna be dead soon."

For some reason, the statement unsettled Sally. She felt her mouth twisting.

_Why bother breathing if you'll just die? Why bother eating when someday eating won't matter?_ She stared around at them, the Freedom Fighters. _Why bother fighting...when the outcome is the same? Whether you win or lose...you die eventually. So you lose everything you've won...and everything you've lost doesn't hurt anymore. _

"Because it makes the garden tolerable," She uttered in a flat voice.

Because it makes the time before you die tolerable.

_'Maybe that's all life is_.' She stared down at the wilted plants. '_Maybe it's just a transition between worlds. We think it's more than it is...more important...or more sacred...but maybe the real life begins after death.'_

Geoffrey was giving her an odd look. She recognized it as that look from earlier that week. That 'I know something you don't' look. Or perhaps it was more like... 'I'm in on a secret...involving you.' She couldn't quite accuse him of that...it was just a look, but it still irked her. She wanted to ask him what his problem was. But he spoke. "Maybe you should talk to someone about those kind of feelings, luv."

She gave him a hard searching look. He merely smiled and fished in his shoulder belt for a cigarette.

He was up to something. He knew something. But she wasn't going to talk to him in front of the others. Later, maybe.

"You're right," said Sonic. "It does look nicer without the weeds."

"Well...get pulling," said Sally, with a half-hearted smile. Her eyes were on the smoke curling away from Geoffrey's mouth...from his smirking lips.

_'I'll find out what you're hiding...' _She directed her thoughts at him, hoping he'd feel the weight, the probing drill of them.

Geoffrey turned his head her way and a puff of smoke was blown in her direction. He winked.

* * *

**From the mind of Sonic the Hedgehog, Way confused Hedgehog of Mobius**

_"Robotropolis Raid?"_

_"Yeah. It's a real fun game!"_

_"Ok..."  
  
Tails' chest puffed out in pride; he aimed a finger at one of the wolf cubs, a small dark gray female. "Nadie, you can be Casssar."_

_"Casssar?"_

_"Yeah, she's Snively's girlfriend. She's totally wicked."_

_"I don't want to play someone wicked..."_

_"C'mon. It'll be fun. I heard she has magic powers."_

_The girl's eyes lit up. "I have magic powers! I'm training to be a Tribe Shaman!" She kicked wistfully at the ground. "Actually...I don't know any real spells yet..."_

_"Really?" Tails looked intrigued, forgetting his childish authority for the moment. "What kind of spells do Shamans do? Can you shoot fireballs n' stuff?"_

_"Shaman are more like protectors and soul guides. And healers." She smiled. "Shaman are wise and respected. But..." She giggled nervously. "I have a long way to go before any of that." _

_"It's still way past cool," said Tails. _

_"Who am I?" piped up the other wolf. _

_"You can be Snively." Tails once again obtained his chest-puffing superior air. _

_"Who's Snively, anyway?" The wolf scowled. "I heard he isn't much of a Garato at all!"_

_"Garato?" Tails cocked his head._

_"Yeah. You know. The boss?"_

_"The leader," said Nadie. _

_"Oh. Ok. Yeah, I guess he's not, really." _

_"Fine, though, I'll be him. And who are you?"_

_Tails looked devilishly proud. "I'm Sonic!"_

_Dulcy blinked. "You are?" She laughed. "Better get some blue paint..."  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Tails scoffed and poked his friend's scaly side. "Who you gonna be?"  
__"Hmmm." The dragon looked thoughtful, and then smiled her toothy grin. "I think I'm gonna be Dulcy. Can't get much cooler than Dulcy." _

_"Ok, let's play then!" _

_The children rushed off into the thick of the forest, and I could hear their whoops of laughter. _

_'Who's Snively, anyway?' The kid had said. He was the little runt who wanted to be like Ole Uncle Robotnik. We'd met him before Robotnik. I think our first face-to-face encounter was when I was eight years old. Me and Sally had been snooping around a factory and the runt had been patrolling that day. _

_I thought he was funny. He was not much bigger than us and his voice was funny. And he wasn't like the hulking monstrosity that I remembered Robotnik to be when he first took over...and...roboticized Uncle Chuck. I thought it was funny that a guy like Snively would even be associated with Robotnik. He seemed so weak and...not evil. Not evil at all. _

_I felt sorry for him sometimes. _

_I don't really...anymore. I don't think. It's hard to be sure of stuff nowdays! _

_The thing that's the most weird is Sally. Man, she seems to get so pissed when it comes to Snively, now! _

_Before Robotnik bit the dust, Sally never seemed to pay attention to him. She even told me to stop when I was teasing him, sometimes. But now..._

_It's like she's fixated on him. Like me with a chilidog, but only not in a good way. It's almost like...they have some connection or somethin'...somethin' I can't see. I want to ask her, but I know she'll get real angry. She won't explain it to me...Sally's like that sometimes. When something's really bugging her, she keeps it to herself. I guess everyone does that, even me, sometimes. Some things are like...personal, you know?_

_But I wish...I really wish she would share it with me. I mean...I could never hate Sally. Even if it was really bad. I might not get it, but I just know I could never hate her. Ever._

_But I feel like there's parts of her I don't know at all. They're as much a stranger to me as Snively is. And that really scares me._

_But don't tell anyone. _

_I'm supposed to be fearless, remember?  
_

* * *

A pungent curl of smoke lifted from King Acorn's pipe.

Sally wrinkled her nose, but truthfully the odor was not unpleasant in the memory department. Knothole village had not just been a secret haven for the king in times of war, but a vacation spot as well. She could remember, before the Coup, trips her father had taken with her. Trips to the Floating Island, trips to Mobotroplian Bay Beach. And trips to the idyllic Knothole Village.

King Acorn's hut was still the most lavishly decorated, with wing-backed chairs upholstered in velvet, beautiful heavy wood furniture, thick rugs covering the floors and tapestries hugging the walls...and it was the only personal hut that had its own fireplace.

She remembered, vaguely, like some spark of happiness so buried under a mountain of depression...that it seems to be a figment of imagination, mere splinters of hope. She recalled sitting before the fireplace, with attention rapt on her father, his pipe smoking, as he recounted stories of love and peace, war and darkness, and hope even amidst the corpses of a battlefield.

So long ago. When Knothole village was just a casual get-away and not a last remaining sanctuary against evil.

Her eyes must have been glazing, because her father shot her a querying look, setting the pipe aside. "Well Sally, something must be on your mind."

"Yes."

"Why not go to Cu Chulainne?" He lowered his voice upon speaking the entity's name.

"Why can't I come to you?" She said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. She felt stung for some reason, even though she knew he wasn't trying to be cold.

He sighed. "I never said you couldn't, dear. You just seem to prefer its advice of late."

She floundered a bit. "No...it's just..."

It doesn't judge like you.

"Oh...I don't know..."

It doesn't get disappointed like you...

"It's just..." She stared down at her hands. Long slender fingers, so unmistakably feminine.

It feels comfortable.

"It sort of feels like another parent. Like a mother..."

I can talk to it like I can talk to no other.

Her father wasn't looking at her; his mustache was drooping.

"I mean...just the way I can speak to it, like..." She trailed off.

"I know I failed you and your mother. But..." He was avoiding her gaze, his hands fiddling with the pipe. "But...I'm here now, Bean. I'm trying to be here now."

"Oh daddy..." A rush of emotion made her eyes cloud and her throat tighten. "No, that's not what I meant! I know you're here. You...you were always with me. Your words, they were with me. You helped me so much more than you..." She touched his arm. "...than you know."

He took an inhale from the pipe and blew a shaky smoke ring. "Ah, well yes. Thank you, Sally." His tone became heartier. "Now, you had a question for me?"

"Geoffrey," she said, after a slight pause.

"Geoffrey?"

"His behavior lately...it's just unsettled me."

"He hasn't been uncouth, has he?" The King's brows knit together in the beginnings of protective anger, but Sally shook her head.

"No. Not that sort of thing. He just is acting...like he knows something."

"Something?" King Acorn laughed dismissively. "I imagine the man has accumulated knowledge on many 'somethings' in this life."

"Daddy!" She frowned. King Acorn was puffing unconcernedly on his pipe. "No. Something secret. Something he's not supposed to know."

Her father coughed and looked flustered. She couldn't tell if it was from the pipe smoke or her statement.

He waved a bit of the smoke away, his smile becoming languid again. Finally, with his eyes focused on his pipe, he spoke, "And why do you think that?"

"I told you...he's acting odd. It's the looks he's giving me."

"Maybe you're just imagining it. I'm sure it's nothing."

"It ISN'T nothing," she said firmly, eyeing him closely. He seemed just a bit TOO casual, just a bit too unconcerned. Yeah. Geoffrey wasn't the only one with a secret around here. "Daddy, what does he know?"

"I'm afraid I can't read his thoughts, dear." The King shrugged, smiling blandly. "You may have to ask him yourself." His smile became slightly more strained. "If you really think it's appropriate to pry...that is."

She eyed him shrewdly, and then speaking carefully: "Why do you care if I 'pry' into his business? Surely it shouldn't be any worry to you?"

He eyed her back, puffing again on the pipe, unconcerned.

Or rather...

_'Feigning it,'_ thought the daughter fiercely. _'I know you're hiding something. You both are.'_

He seemed to be picking his words as carefully as she had. "It doesn't concern me, per say, but as you are my daughter, your behavior does reflect upon me somewhat."

"Oh," she repressed saying 'puhleeese!' in that sarcastic tone that sometimes drove Sonic nuts. "Since when have you worried about that?"

What a lame excuse. And he knew it. He turned away from her on the pretense of filling his pipe with more herb.

"I don't...I wouldn't...it's just the discord amongst the villagers. Regarding...well..." He cast her a pointed look. "The business with Robotnik. There's enough..." He seemed to be trying to think of a delicate way to put it, then decided, since she was Sally, she could handle it harshly. "...mistrust of you going around."

"Well gee," she couldn't stop her voice from sharpening to a razor's edge, "If we could maybe...I don't know...tell the truth! That could HELP a little bit!"

"Absolutely not." He was no longer trying to be delicate. His tone was like a guillotine, trying to sever the conversation completely.

Sally was not to be beheaded that quickly. "Why not?!" Her fears, her frustrations...begin to bubble up. "Who knows if OUR kingdom is ever going to exist again?! What does it matter if some silly 'royal' secret is spilled now, I wonder? We don't even have a royalty anymore. We won't EVER have it again."

"Don't be absurd," he looked shaken, but his voice didn't change. "We will defeat Robotnik's childish nephew. It's just a matter of time."

"We might." Her thoughts were turning black. "And then what. I can't see things ever...I...can't see a world of good anymore."

"Sally," he put his hand on her shoulder. "You mustn't lose hope."

It sounded so old and tired. She'd heard it in a thousand storybooks. Fairy-tale battles were never futile...no matter how far light had succumbed to darkness. Hope prevailed, always.

She'd believed those books as a child. It just made sense that good would win. It was the right thing, so therefore, it must always be triumphant! Now she saw the silliness in such naivety.

_'Hope is a crutch for the foolish...' _A voice whispered, dark and sinister, in a deep corner of her mind. Her father's hand squeezed gently on her shoulder...and the voice snickered. It made her furious.

"And why not?!" She suddenly exploded, recoiling. "Why aren't I allowed to lose hope! Everyone else is! What...am I better than them? That's what it's supposed to be...I'm supposed to be better...I'm supposed to be stronger, because I'm a Princess?"

"Now, Sally-"

"Because I'm a Princess?" She repeated, shrilly. Half of her realized she sounded childish. The other half, frustrated and afraid, didn't care. "Well...I'm not. I'm not better...and I'm not stronger." Her shoulders slumped, and her voice lowered, like the fire had died as suddenly as it had blazed. "I'm just a normal person...."

"But it's our duty. Everyone has a duty."

"I didn't choose it," she said, sinking into one of the plush armchairs.

"I know it's hard," he said. "In fairytales (she jolted, it was like he'd read her mind) it seems so simple. Every little girl wants to be a carefree princess. Only when they get older do they realize it's not carefree or easy. Sometimes..." He paused for a breath. "Sometimes people think...the higher up you are...the easier it is...but it isn't. It definitely isn't."

"You're not just responsible for you..." She said. "I know." She kicked sullenly at the floor. "Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Any of it. The fight. ...Life."

King Acorn puffed on his pipe. "Everyone feels that way sometimes."

But like this? She felt a surge of desperation so raw it almost choked her. It didn't feel like her emotions. She wondered again if it was Snively's smeared fingerprint on her soul. Was it his blackness encroaching on her? If only he knew the damage his thoughts did. He'd laugh.

_'Or maybe it's youuuuu....'_ Her mind whispered in a snake hiss. _'Maybe you're just weak. You're a fake. You tried to convince everyone that you could hold things together, but all the bricks in your wall are falling out. They were all along.'_

_'Shut up. It's not me. It's not me. It's Snively. It's his thoughts!' _

_'You and Snively are a lot alike, eh? He thinks he's something he's not too. He tries so pathetically hard to pretend he's worth one damn cent too!' _

_'Shut up.' _

He was laughing...he was laughing his fool head off at her. He was crying even, from such mirth. Her face was burning and her eyes were filling too.

"Sally? Are you all right, child?"

She snapped her head up. "What does Geoffrey know?" She said. "What is he hiding?"

"I told you-" The King nearly dropped his pipe, startled by her sudden return to the topic. She glared daggers.

"I have no idea what the-'

There was a loud thumping on the door. "My Liege," a voice called outside. It sounded like one of the wolves. "They have announced dinner...and we would enjoy your presence."

The King got up quickly and opened the door. Sally used the hem of her vest to wipe her eyes.

Diablo of the Wolf Pack stood outside, along with Lupe, and a wolf child, who peered in at Sally with that direct examining gaze that children have. It annoyed the usually tolerant Princess.

The three wolves lowered their heads briefly before the King, and then Lupe spoke. "We are looking forward to planning a take-over of the city. Your input is most desired!"

"Of course...of course," the King said graciously. "I would love nothing more than to see our Capitol restored."

"It could take days...weeks...years," Lupe nodded. "But it WILL happen, my Liege."

The charcoal-gray cub was still eyeing Sally. "It WILL happen," she repeated, sounding not so much like an echo as a definite confirmation of Lupe's vow. It made Sally's heart lift, for some reason.

_'Hope may be a fool's crutch...but it's better to walk with a crutch than to crawl on your knees.'_


	12. Preperations and Dead Babies

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 12 : Preparations and Dead Babies

Healing comes so painfully

And it chills to the bone

Will anyone get close to me?

I'm damaged – as I'm sure you know

I'm scared and I'm alone

I am shamed and I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say

And you can't take back what was taken away

Cause I feel you, I feel you near me.

"Damaged" – Plumb

* * *

**From the psyche – troubled and remembering- of Casssar, Queen of Robotropolis.**

_My Castdecass._

_Cast has been odd the past few days. Whatever the Princess had said unsettled him immensely. At times he is relaxed and confident, assured in his plans of retaliation. And then he changes....becoming akin to a desperate man living his last days. This annoys me to no end. _

_He gets clingy, unwilling to part from my side (I must admit, to a degree, I don't mind that!) and then again a change..._

_He becomes a turtle, withdrawing into his shell, brooding there in the darkness. He turns the lights down, or off, so the red glow on the console doesn't show. He doesn't know I am aware of that. I know how much it haunts his mind. He sits in the near-darkness, the only available light catching in his large eyes and reflecting back at me. He is not very good company when in such a state._

_He is muttering now. His fingers are clacking on the keyboard in front of him; he is standing by the console typing furiously, his teeth bared. I can see an image on the monitor....it looks like troops of robots, and when Black Flower hits different keys, the troops go into different positions. It is some kind of program for coming up with robot formations, and defenses, or so Black Flower told me. _

_I yawn. Not very interesting...not very interesting at all. I would prefer to go out and use my magic against them. It would be extremely fun. I haven't said anything, because Black Flower has that certain_ _gleam in his eye, that strange air of wanting this battle all to himself. _

_And I understand that feeling very well..._

_It's so dull though, perched here on the throne, staring at his back. He hasn't sat down for hours. "Black Flower..." I call. "Aren't you hungry? I am getting famished."_

_"No," he says in a distracted way. _

_"I am."_

_"Hmr?"_

_"I am hungry."_

_"Then get something to eat..." He bangs one hand on the console. "Dammit! That formation WON'T away from there for a while. Let's go eat."_

_"I'm not hungry, Casssar," he snaps._

_I aim one finger at his lean back, narrowing my eyes. Ah, does he make me quite angry at times...oh yes. I can see him now on the floor, his back arching, and his fingers curling, racked with pain...I can almost hear the crying whimpers and begs that would come from his mouth. A smile curves on my face. I can feel magic rushing to my finger, warm and tingling like blood. I can do it to him, so easy. I can make him scream..._

_"Please?" My voice is wistful and girlish...but my finger is SO evil, tracing an imaginary line up his spine. I can put fire in his nerves...he would feel like he was burning from the inside out... _

_I really shouldn't, though. I should try not to be cruel..._

_"Goddammit!" He snarls again. "I am VERY busy here, Cass...so kindly take your grumbly little stomach and leave me the hell alone!" _

_I don't even think. It's a surge of raw power. Out my fingertips it comes like a bullet...but it misses him. I want to give him a chance to apologize..._

_The console emits a peculiar noise as the wires and computer chips inside melt from intense heat. The monitor cracks and then goes black. I smell the sickening stench of burnt electronics. _

_"What the-" He stumbles away from it, wringing his hands. They are burnt from resting on the console, and he draws them to his chest. He whirls around, meeting my eyes for the first time in hours. They are wide, spangled with red veins and dark underneath. He has barely slept since the Princess's message. "CASSSAR! What the FUCK did you do?!" _

_I lean back in the throne, smiling in satisfaction. "Are you hungry now, Black Flower?" _

_Oh...he's fuming! His teeth are unsheathed and his fists clenched hard enough to whiten the knuckles. "You selfish little bitch." He spits. "Don't you care about my LIFE? That's what's at stake here!"_

_How absurd. He is succumbing to those ridiculous fears again. "Don't be foolish." I scoff. _

_"Go AWAY, Cass, if you're just going to laugh!" His voice is rising steadily. "You think it's fucking funny?! Maybe I do want to die..." And he turns and grips his coffee cup, which I am quite sure he had drained an hour earlier. "But NOT by their hands, dammit! Never! Never HIS!" _

_"What are you speaking of?" My voice competes to be the opposite of his. Calm and smooth as glass. It maddens him; I can see the shivers taking hold of his body. My Black Flower is a trembler. He has shoved emotions down into his skin and soul for quite a long time. His body feels the affects of that now. His body shakes when it can no longer hold such furies in. _

_"I TOLD you!" He clutches the cup to his chest frantically. "HE's coming-"_

_"No, he is NOT!" I curl my claws into the throne's armrest. It makes a horrible squealing sound. "He is NOT!" _

_"SHUT UP!" He screams. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" _

_I am too surprised to even duck. But his aim is poor due to his blinding rage and the shaking of his arm. The coffee cup comes hurtling, barely missing the top of my head. It shatters behind me on the top of the throne...my ears flatten to my skull at the noise and I feel sharp shards raining down on the back of my neck. _

_He is running towards the door, whether in fear, or desire to be alone, I cannot tell. I do not care! I leave the throne, I feel my feet floating above the ground, I feel my body burning like a torch. He trembles from excessive emotion – I shudder from the surges of raw power...anger in magic form...anger that I must release! _

_"I TIRE of this foolishness!" _

_He stops and glares at me, defiant. "Shut-"_

_I catch him up in enchantment and feed the magic into him. I see his body stiffen. He is feeling the pain...tears spring into his eyes and he lowers his head to hide it, his teeth clenched. _

_It makes me smile viciously, to see him shaking...to see him breaking. Ah...I can almost laugh as a whimpering sob comes from his mouth._

_"Go ahead then!" He lifts his head and screams. "Hurt me! Be like all the others!" _

_Like all the others? _

_I feel my eyes widen. Pain comes to my own body, like my spell has turned back on me. _

_I see myself lined up in a row with his father and his uncle and..._

_Oh, but the cruelty is so easy...the cruelty is me. _

_I am lined up in a row with all of his kin. And my father is there too, smiling so sickly, his big hands reaching for me..._

_No. I can't be like HIM._

_The spell fades from my veins. I feel weak, wanting to double over and gasp for breath. Instead, I sink into the throne. Black Flower slips down to his knees on the cold floor and watches me through watering eyes. _

_"I'm going to die, Cass. You have to let me work...or they'll kill me." _

_"Why do you believe this? She hated him too, Cast. She hated him...she fought her whole life against him, didn't she? Why would she bring him back, tell me this?" _

_"You don't get it," he says. He isn't wiping his eyes, even though they are still leaking. I like him wet-faced...childish vulnerable beauty. "She hates me even more now. She'll do anything to get me. She'll bring him back...she WILL. She said so, right on the camera...she said it direct to me. She said I was going to die. She had HIS flag." _

_Black Flower's voice is flat and monotone. His eyes have gone all dead. I have seen this look. In my mother's eyes...sometimes. Before she was totally gone. Before she..._

_It's a look of hopelessness. 'I will never get out. I will never win.' It's a look of accepting all this. It's a look of submitting to pain. And yet..._

_And yet...there's something in it that says you want to TRY to change. You are dead, but some pulse still beats, and it WANTS you to get up again and walk! _

_I don't know if I should be glad to see that look..._

_Or terrified that he has sunk that far._

_His eyes have shifted to the floor and his hands are crossed over his chest. He is like the last solider on the battlefield, waiting for death. _

_"But you forget something..." I rise, I join him on the floor. "You're not alone this time. I will fight WITH you. For you..." I slip my fingers under his chin, lift his face to see me. _

_His eyes dart over my features, his brows frowning. Then a sob escapes him and he tightens his lean arms around me, burying his face into my neck. I caress his back with my hands, wondering at the structure of bone and muscle beneath the gray fabric. It feels so nice, to feel something so solid and alive. _

_Warm and breathing...and mine. _

_He pulls away, sniffling and laughing weakly. "It's easy to forget...that you have a friend...when you haven't had any in so long..." _

_"Tut." I poke him lightly in the nose. "Not just a friend, Black Flower!" _

_"Yes yes..." He finally wipes his crystalline eyes, erasing the tears. "A lover too..."_

_"Most certainly," I say very solemnly, while my hand squeezes his rear end. He chuckles, and this time it is stronger and more genuine. _

_"Alright," he says, untangling himself from my grip. "Let's uh...let's go have that lunch now, eh Cass?"_

_

* * *

_

"We should just collect all the explosives we can and bomb every damn factory and building in sight!" Geoffrey was the first to throw out a suggestion at the meeting/dinner that evening.

"Where do we get all these explosives?" enquired Sally, arching an eyebrow. She had met Geoffrey's eyes and words with coldness all through the dinner. Now they sat with their desserts on their plates, discussing the means in which to go about the 'Final Mission'.

"We build 'em up. Over a few weeks. That's all we do, is make explosives," said Tory, who was in high agreement with Geoffrey. "Then we collect all the people willing to go and overrun the place."

_'An army of children, men, and women who have lived their lives in the village? Who have never been out on the warfront? Who have never even set foot in Robotropolis? Some who have never even set foot in Mobotropolis?' _

"They may be willing, Tory, but I'm not sure if I, or," she waved her hand around at her friends, the core Freedom Fighters, "any of the others would be willing to let them go."

"Please," Tory scoffed. "Geoffrey said there was no retaliation from Snively at all! The punk doesn't know what the hell he's doing."

Some of the villagers muttered.

"Yes, Princess, maybe we should....just all go in. Even if it's a little dangerous," the man speaking sounded bemused, as if he were thinking the Freedom Fighters weren't all that brave after all, "It's worth it to take down Snively, isn't it?"

"Look!" She clanked her fork sharply on her plate. "Just because Snively didn't do anything that time doesn't mean-"

"You just want all of the glory!" A voice crowed from the back and everyone swiveled their heads to look. Whoever had spoken had fallen silent and all the villagers were looking around aimlessly, so not to lay blame on the speaker.

"Who said that?" demanded Sally, standing up. Sonic was standing too, his quills raised.

"Ya'll think that's it?" Bunnie too had stood, her fork still clenched in her hand. "Ya'll think we go there fer fun, to make ourselves look like heroes? Ya'll know what? Ah would love to live in safety. Ah would LOVE nothin' more than to be able to live a real life, a life where Ah could be happy and free! Ah could care less about stinkin' glory!"

Sonic sat down. Geoffrey smirked at him.

"Yeah kids, listen to Ms Rabbot," the skunk said. "We ain't wanting no glory shit...but in order to bring Snively down, we have to fight."

"They don't know HOW to fight," said Sally angrily. She cast her stormy-blue eyes to the knot of villagers in the corner. "You people have NO idea how dangerous the city is! I HATE going there! It scares me! But at least we know our way around...and we know how to deal with the robots and..."

"You could train us." A male dog (Sally loosely remembered his name as 'Bernard' or something) "We don't have to stay here like cowards. No one ever bothered to ask US if we wanted to fight, they just assumed we were yellow-bellies who just want to stay in our cozy little homes! Well some of us DON'T!"

"Fine." Sally relented, dropping her fork. "Fine. It's your life. I don't want to get more people involved then necessary, but if you want to risk your lives, fine. Who am I to say you can't? Who am I to want to protect what remains of my people?" She was fiercely ashamed of the wetness filling her eyes and sat down again, letting her thick hair fall over her face.

Bernard sounded slightly less volatile. "I know what you're saying, Princess. But it is OUR lives."

King Acorn cleared his throat. "I don't believe that ordinary citizens should be getting involved in this. It's all very well and good that you want to help...but you can help here."

"You can help make explosives," Tory said. "We'll need people to do that."

The King nodded. "I am not quite sure about Geoffrey's direct approach to the attack, but I imagine using some explosives would be a good tactic. Sally?"

She waved a hand listlessly. "Whatever."

Sonic put his hand on her shoulder. "Yeah, ok. I like the idea of blowing stuff up too, but that can't be ALL we do, you know? We're going to need a game plan for the robots too. Snively ain't just gonna sit around while we blow up all his buildings!"

There was muttering from the knot of villagers. One of Sonic's pointed ears perked up. He caught the end of word... a word that ended in 'itch...'

"What did you say?" He aimed an accusing finger at them. "I HEARD that!"

"Why doesn't the witch just use her powers?"

Everyone stared at Sally. She didn't lift her head, but she could feel the weight of their eyes. Across the table, she caught a glimpse of one person watching. It was the girl wolf cub.

Her eyes...unlike the others...were not accusing, or questioning, or angry.

They were shining in awe and respect.

* * *

Casssar amused herself in the kitchen by making the plates float out of the cabinet and onto the countertop. Snively turned away from the large fridge, holding a few packages of foodstuff in his hand, one eyebrow raising at the sight. "We'll need some glasses too," he said.

She obliged. They clinked down on the countertop and she eyed the packages Snively was setting down. "Do you have nothing else but that weird stuff?"

"It's just dehydrated," said the small man, opening a page marked 'turkey slices'. "We've eaten it before. You never complained."

"Ah. What about your master? Didn't he have a secret supply?"

"I'm not touching HIS food." Snively grimaced. "I wouldn't be surprised if that was Mobian meat in his stash."

"Ugh." She crinkled her nose. "I'll suppose I'll pass on that as well!"

Snively prepared the food by putting it a machine marked the 'Hydrator.' When it beeped, the small man opened the door. On the plate was fresh turkey slices, lettuce, cheese and bread.

"Magical," the ermine queen said.

"Hardly." The small man snickered, fixing sandwiches for them. He eyed the plates and glasses. "Though I'd love to know how you do that."

"Oh this?" She levitated a glass over to him so he could pour their drinks. "It's quite simple, once you know how to do it."

"And how do you learn?"

She crinkled her nose again. "I'm not sure. It has something to do with extending your energy outward to affect the energy of another object. At first...I couldn't bring things to me. I couldn't move them about... I discovered the knowledge by accident. It was my first magical achievement."

"Really?" He blinked, looking interested. "How did it come about?" He slid her glass of liquid over to her. She wasn't sure what it was. It was some deep red drink, with a strong fruity taste and a hint of liqueur.

"My emotions were so strong that my energy could no longer be contained in me. It went out and it knocked over..." She flitted her eyes down to the liquid. Deep red...maroon. Too dark to be blood, but it reminded her of it, nevertheless. "It knocked over a table."

A lie. She had told a lie. But it wasn't the first ever, was it?

He seemed to know it, too. Those scrutinizing blue orbs were narrowed.

She lifted the glass to her lips and closed her eyes as if savoring the thick tainted flavor. But on the insides of her eyelids she could see a scene played out, the real truth of it, and it wasn't a mere table that had taken the brunt of her first magical attack.

_She was nearly eight years old. Before then, she had known there was something inside her, something laying dormant. Sometimes she felt tingles of it in her fingertips. But it never seemed to rise up and come out of her...not until now. _

_Daddy had come back to them when she was five. And when she was six, the full effects of his bathing in the tainted Source Pool had taken hold. And on it went, through six, through seven, through eight and nine years until she fled for good at age ten. _

_She was eight and she was living in a world of fear and pain. She did not go to school. She stayed home. Mommy stayed home. Daddy stayed home, except when he went out to hunt. He brought home wild animals, dead and bloodied. Sometimes they had teeth marks in them, like he had gotten hungry on the way home and taken bites raw._

_Today, Mommy was sick. Daddy was out hunting. _

_"Are you alright, Mommy?" Casssar asked, helping her mother to their ratty couch. There were books and sewing scattered all about. They used to have a radio that Mommy listened to, but Daddy had broken it a while ago. _

_"I'm fine, dear." Mommy's face had healing cuts on it. It always did. But Mommy didn't sound fine. She started to cry, waving her hand at Casssar. "Go out and play for a while, honey. Before your father comes back, go out and get some air!" _

_"You need air too, Mommy, come on." The girl tugged at her mom's hand. _

_"No honey, please!" Mommy suddenly jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Casssar could hear her retching into the toilet. Now she was very scared. Was Mommy sick enough to die? Casssar knew when she got sick enough to puke, it meant she was very sick indeed, and Mommy would fuss over her. Daddy used to too...before the Source. Now he just laughed when either of them weren't feeling well. _

_He never seemed to get sick or weak. _

_"Mommy!" She squeaked. "Mommy, you're sick! You need a healer!" _

_Mommy started to sob, her head on the edge of the toilet. "No, honey...I'm not sick..." _

_"What is it?" Casssar stood there, stiff and terrified. Her Mommy looked so sad, sadder than she had EVER looked. It nearly made Casssar want to die. _

_"I...I have a baby inside me," her Mommy whispered. _

_"A baby?" Casssar felt tears in her eyes. She knew people were supposed to be happy about babies. But what would Daddy do to a baby? She didn't want to imagine it. She didn't WANT a baby to be born into this house. It would be utterly cruel. "Oh Mommy..." She moaned and sank down next to her mother's white-furred body. "Mommy...what are you going to do?" _

_"Nothing," the older woman said grimly, drawing the child to her. "It won't be born." _

_"How can you stop it?"_

_Her mommy's face crinkled up like used tissue. "It isn't the first one, honey. When your daddy hits me..." She put her hand in her daughter's hair. "It kills the baby." _

_The girl's eyes went wide. She tried to hug her mother, but the older woman shooed her away. Casssar went outside and played with rocks, throwing them viciously against the trees. She imagined Daddy's face on the bark._

_She felt incredible rage growing inside. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to rip his face off. She didn't care if he had been good before...it didn't matter. She wanted to hear him scream._

"Cass?" Snively was staring at her.

She shook her head, raising her eyes from the deep crimson of the glass and to his face, those pale ice-blue eyes. "It wasn't really a table," she said, lip curling.

"I figured as much." He pushed her plate towards her. She bit into the sandwich viciously. "It was your father, wasn't it?"

She smiled, lifting her eyes to the ceiling in a coy gesture. "It was supposed to be. But my aim wasn't very good back then." She laughed without mirth. "I wasn't really aware of what I was doing."

_The thing that had laid dormant inside her was starting to rise. She could feel it. She stumbled back against the tree, her head back, staring up at the orange and blue sky, panting. It felt like blood from deep within her was spreading to the surface veins of her body, and this blood contained an intoxicating feeling of...of POWER. Power and energy!_

_She let out a ragged cry, not sure whether she was elated or alarmed by this... She turned her eyes on the rocks and the trees, the thought of daddy in her mind...the thought of Mommy's baby becoming nothing but bloody paste to ooze out onto the floor... She thought of it because it seemed to fuel the feeling inside. It was rising...like heat rose from a head that wasn't wearing a hat...that's why Mommy told her to wear her hat in the winter..._

_But she wanted it to escape. Her breath came in harder, and she felt herself shaking, like she was cold...but she wasn't... her skin was crawling...and her fingers were tingling so bad, almost painfully, like they had been frozen and were now thawing. _

_And then it escaped. She knew it had, because she felt suddenly weak and lightheaded, and around her, the rocks went flying in all directions! She stared at the ground in awe, trying to catch her breath. _

_She went in to tell her mother about this odd new thing. _

_There was the horrible sound of whimpering and begging. "No...Henry...please." _

_Daddy was home! Her eyes narrowed and her breath hissed in rage. She didn't know what had come over her...this sudden anger...it was so violent that it overshadowed the fear. She ran into the kitchen to find Mommy backed away against the table and Daddy standing in front of her with his powerful arm drawn back. "You stupid whore. Think I care if you're sick? You stupid bitch."_

_There was a bundle of dead rabbits and squirrels laying on the table, but Daddy knocked them off and tried to force Mommy to lay down there, so he could do the very bad thing to her. Casssar saw Mommy's stomach slam very hard into the table's edge as she struggled weakly. A moaning cry came from her mouth. _

_"NO!" She cried and Daddy snapped his head up and stared up at her. _

_"Oh, so the little whore has come in at last! You'll have to wait your turn sweetie." He started to laugh in that sickening way that normally made Cass shiver. But today...it made the feeling rise up..._

"It came out...but it didn't hit Daddy like I wanted, " the ermine mused, swirling the liqueur in her glass. Snively was still eyeing her, silently. He hadn't touched his sandwich yet. "It knocked over Mommy instead. She fell onto the table and bit her tongue hard. I remember the blood coming from her mouth...because her fur was so white...it showed up so vividly. Daddy thought it was hilarious. He thought she'd tripped."

_Mommy had hit her stomach again on the table. So hard a blow that no unborn baby could survive. Casssar sometimes wondered later, if indeed she had been trying to hit Daddy...or if her rage had turned into sympathy and that great pity had killed the fetus in order to prevent it from suffering in life. She wondered about that, many times, until finally she buried the thought under uncaring rocks. It didn't matter anymore. But now it was unburied, and she wasn't sure what to do with it._

She took a sip from the glass. "After that...I didn't try to hit Daddy anymore. I tried to ignore the power...but it wouldn't go away. Eventually, I started practicing around the house and outside when he wasn't around." She grinned over at Snively, her lips smeared with the liqueur. "I got quite good. As you can see..."

"I see..." He said, very quietly, finally taking a nibble of sandwich.

"I was hoping maybe one day...I could kill things with my mind. Then I could kill him. But after Mommy shot herself the power went away for a while. It didn't come back until after I ran away. I think...I think it's because after she died...I died too."

He swallowed very hard, setting the sandwich down. "Yes..." his voice had dropped to a whisper. "I know...I know what you mean by that, Cass."

* * *

"Well...that went nowhere..."

"Tell me about it." Sonic was gazing into his reflection in a round hand mirror. Sally was leaning out the window of her hut, gazing at the treetops and the black sky. She couldn't see any stars. A thin veil of clouds, nearly as dark as the sky, was blocking them out...or maybe they just weren't there anymore.

"I'm so mad. Daddy shouldn't have agreed to let those villagers come!"

"Yup. They'll just get in the way. Slow us down..." The hedgehog grinned into the mirror, tilting his head this way and that. Admiring his teeth or the spike of his quills.

"More than that, Sonic...they'll get hurt! They think the city is some playground or something!"

"They're right about that."

"SONIC!" Sally turned her head to glare at him; he flinched and grinned sheepishly in the mirror.

"When you're a mondo speedy hedgehog, it is!"

"Well, they're not." She returned to the futile star-gazing. "They don't know anything about that place. And if they get killed or hurt...you know it's going to end up being our faults, somehow."

"Eh..." Sonic finally set down the mirror. "They won't. Needlenose is nothing like Robotnik."

"No." Sally stared hard at the clouds, desperate to seek out one pinpoint of light. Stars were symbols of hope. Why? Because they were always there? They were cold. They didn't care anything for the fates of mortals on tiny planets. They were just burning balls of gas. "Snively isn't. Robotnik liked robots. But Snively...he just wants us out of his way. He doesn't care about roboticizing."

"You're saying he'd rather just kill everyone?" Sonic scratched his brow. "I don't know if he's that bad, Sal-"

"Look what he did to his own Uncle!..." She faltered, falling silent.

"But Sal, you-" Sonic didn't finish the statement. There was a long awkward silence.

"So...we've got the explosives...and the villagers..." Sally said, finally. "We'll have the Wolf Pack. But we need a PLAN."

"Run in and bust stuff up."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think so."

"Seriously Sal," Sonic actually sounded serious, which alone made Sally glance over. "How much do you think ole Noseboy is going to throw at us?"

"Who knows. Judging from what happened during the water refinery attack, it doesn't look like much. But-" She held up a finger as Sonic opened his mouth. "Like I said at dinner, that doesn't mean he won't this time. Who knows what's going on in his mind?"

"We'll give it another try tomorrow. Come up with a plan among ourselves." Sonic spoke with slight disdain; he clearly did not think the villagers up to the task of Freedom Fighting. Neither did Sally. For once she could agree with his scorn.

"Yes. A plan not only for us to win...but to protect them too."


	13. Life is what you make it

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 13 : Life is what you make it

And anger should be

The tool of a clown, or a fool, you see

Why should such spite and such pain

Hang between you and me?

When love should be

The queen on her throne

Looking after her own.

"Hem of his Garment" – Faithless

* * *

_Dear Journal..._

_We will go in with explosives and the slinking of quiet shadows upon the ground. We will go in with the Foolish, the Brave, the Weak and the Doubtful. Some people will embody all of these. Some people will embody only what they can fit into their souls. I suppose that's arrogant. To assume my feelings are more complex than the feelings of a village gardener. _

_Has my royal status corrupted me that much? _

_My clone, those few years ago, said that 'In the Great Forest, titles are meaningless.' I don't know if Robotnik programmed her to say that to mock me...or if it really is true. Or is it false? Does my title influence my decisions? Does it make me believe my concerns for Mobian Life are more crucial than the concerns of any other folk? _

_This hurts my heart and head, Journal. Sometimes..._

_Sometimes the darkest blackest part of my heart wishes for release from all this. _

_I wonder if HE thinks that too. He wove his own torturous life! Damn it! I should NEVER NEVER feel pity for him! It's just...his mind is still on me. He DOESN'T think the thought of dying is wrong. He doesn't think escaping is crazy. But he doesn't want to, you know. He wants to live, to spite us all. Maybe that's the only reason behind it all. He lives only to kill the ones he believes made him feel that way. He lives to kill the ones who made him want to die. Bringing death because he wants death, and yet he hates the idea that he wants death, so he must LIVE to punish those who brought about that feeling. What a cycle! What a horrible gray tunnel that must be. I wonder if there's a light at the end of it. _

Sally took her pen and began to scribble the last passage out. She used heavy angry strokes, carving the impression into the pages below.

"I won't feel pity for him!" She hissed fiercely, tears starting to burn in her eyes...and she didn't know why. Finally, she threw the book down and knocked her candle onto the floor, curling her body on the straight-backed chair, her arms about her knees and her head tucked down...

She found herself sobbing, sobbing as if she'd witnessed the death of all things loved in the world. Sobbing as if she'd lost her reasons for living. Sobbing because...

'Living is overrated.' Snively said...

He'd said it one time, she couldn't recall when...but she knew he'd said it. It haunted her. Where had she heard it?

It was like a dream...for when had she spoken candidly with Snively, especially about matters of life and death? She could see him though, there was light haloed strangely around his head, and his eyes were glinting, filled with light even as he spoke of darkness. And he was so tall...

_'Something he said to me, perhaps, when I was first enchanted by Cu Chulainne. Cu made me fall in love with him. I'm glad I don't remember that. VERY glad!'_

It gnawed so badly that she couldn't stand the teasing little thought, chewing on her memory like a hungry rat. She got up from the chair and left. In the midnight darkness she crept to the cave.

Halfway there, she smelled cigarette smoke. Geoffrey was lounging outside his hut. He didn't see her. She wondered if he could feel her....if he knew her intentions. She saw no one by the pool's edge or in the gloom of the forest. An owl call made her fur prickle. She left the bird behind as the cave door slid closed behind her and she was bathed in the soothing light of the Source and its protector.

"Cu," she said to the entity, "You can take away memories...so can you uncover them too?"

The entity glowed softly. -I can.-

"Then uncover this," said she, and she told Cu the mysterious snippet of memory. She felt the warmth of the entity connected to her, the strange lazy shifting in her mind, like pages of her memory were being turned...but oh so gently.

-I have found it.-

Sally felt like there was a pause in the pages' turning. If she could imagine the book of her life, she thought the page had stopped quite close to the beginning.

-Shall I tell you of the memory or would you like to see it?-

"I want to relive it," said Sally. "I want to see it."

-As you wish.-

Sally was glad that Cu was neutral. Her own mind was judging her quite harshly. _'Do you just want to see him again-'_

She blocked it out. She forgot it as she fell into memory. It played out as vividly as if she were seeing it in real-time.

_A little girl was walking along the corridors of her father's palace. She was not skipping. Her mentor, who had fallen ill, had told her proper ladies don't skip. Sally thought maybe she would skip, since Julayla couldn't see her. 'For I am NOT a lady yet! If I was, then I would not be treated like a child! So, if I am a child, then I can skip if I want to!'_

_Sally was an articulate and clever child, at her full five years of age. But she didn't know her world poised on the edge of disaster. She would know this, in a few months time, when her father's trusted Warlord Julian would betray. But for now, she was content in a day off from Julayla's prattling and lessons. _

_She paused to decide what to do with her free time. Go see Sonic? He was still in his studies with Sir Charles. Likewise for Bunnie and the others. _

_She decided to go to the garden, at least for a while. _

_So she went. The lush green grass and beds of flowers usually attracted the attention of many castle folk. But she didn't see anyone here today, save for the gardener trimming the hedges. It was probably because it was so early in the day. She usually wasn't in the garden until much later. _

_There was one other person, she found, a while later, after strolling down the sunny paths, enjoying the scents (not enjoying the bees). He was standing between two slim trees. His back was to her; he was gazing out at the city below the palace's hillside residence. His hands were above his head, holding and tangled within a mess of vines that hung between the two trees._

_"Hello," she said, and there was no response, so she made her way around, halting in front of the silent boy. _

_She hadn't been able to see his hands clearly, or their strange lack of fur. It was the Overlander boy who was apprenticed to the large Overlander Warlord, Julian. Sally wasn't sure what to think of either of them, besides the usual 'What strange creatures! Why don't they have fur? Can we trust them? Daddy, can we? Why are they so different from us?' _

_Her father had said: 'Sally...I know you have heard rumors of all Overlanders being vicious cruel creatures, but it is not so. We cannot prejudice against others because they are different from us. We can only judge a creature by its own actions, not the actions of its kind.' _

_That made sense. So she tried to see them both with eyes not tainted by the stories she'd heard of other Overlanders. Still...she could not help but dislike Warlord Julian. She didn't trust his eyes or his smile. The boy...she still wasn't sure. But there was something unsettling about him, too. _

_Right now, he was ignoring her, his eyes still focused on the city below. His expression was an odd sort of mulling...and yet...apathetic. Like he didn't really care about the dilemma he was brooding on. _

_"What are you doing?" she asked. She normally wasn't an overly intrusive child, but she was curious. She was especially interested in learning more about Overlanders. _

_"What does it look like I'm doing?" he replied, without taking his eyes off the city view. _

_"Thinking." _

_"Yes."_

_"Thinking about what?" she said boldly. _

_"You're a nosy little girl, aren't you?" For the first time, he titled his head down to meet her gaze. _

_He had an odd face. It wasn't creepy like Julian's. But still rather odd. She couldn't decide if it was odd in a pleasing way, like some of the exotic strange flowers in the greenhouse, or whether it was just plain ugly. His skin was very white and clear, his hair was a messy mop of gold and mahogany and oak strands that fell onto his forehead and brushed his cheeks. He had a nose like a pointed bird's beak. _

_She wanted to say, "You're much nosier than me." But held it back. Still, it made her lips tremble in the effort not to smile. _

_The light was catching in his eyes. He hesitated. "I was thinking about... life."_

_"What about it?" That was an odd thing to think about. Life was...well...it was life. It was just there. It just was. "What can you think about life?"_

_"What can't you think about it?" he replied. "Like...why? Why is it? And why bother with it?"_

_"What do you mean, 'why bother with it'?" She was confused, frowning. "What else can you do?"_

_"You're too young," he said. "You'll understand when you're older. When things like this..." he waved a hand towards the city. "Lose their beauty." _

_"You're not that old," she retorted. He sounded like some old person. She had heard old people saying things like that. But of course they would. They were close to dying, and they were angry and afraid. But she...and the Overlander boy...they were still young. They didn't have to worry about that._

_He let go of the vines and leaned against the tree with his arms across his chest. His face was out of the sunlight's path now, and she could see his eyes more clearly. They were alarming not just in their color, the palest milk blue, but what lay in their depths. They were like his words. Eyes of an old old person. Not eyes of a child. _

_"It's not a matter of age." His lips curled into a sneer. "But what would you know about it? You're a little pampered Princess." _

_Her own lips curled. "My daddy said life is what you make it." _

_He chuckled._

_"Why are you laughing?"_

_"Oh, I don't know." He continued to snicker. "It's just that..." He hummed for a moment, then said, in a clever tone, "No matter what pretty curtains you hang up over the bars...you still can't disguise the fact you're in a prison cell." _

_A prison? A prison? She stared around, at the wide open sky and ground around them. The air and the birds and the sweetness of it all! Did he mean to say this was a trap? He was intolerable! Sally fumed. Of course he was, though. He was a boy! They were all like that. _

_"Well, I don't think it's true," she said crossly. "Life IS what you make it. My daddy is very smart. He knows a lot about things like that." _

_"Does he now..." The boy seemed to sober. A glazed look came to his eyes, like he was looking at a place far away from here. "Well, I think life is a bother." He looked back over the city, brushing some of the errant hair from his eyes. "One day your world will crash down. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing you can do..."_

_He certainly was a cheerless one. Such an attitude made her frown, for she had never come across it in her young age. Even the old people who complained never seemed to complain quite like this. _

_"I think you sound ungrateful," she said hotly. Julayla had said that to Sally one time, and it was like a slap. She hoped it would sting the boy too. "You have a lot of things other people don't. Some people aren't even alive anymore. I bet they wish they were!" _

_"You don't wish when you're dead," He laughed softly. "You don't do anything." He turned again to look at her, tilting his head. Those eyes were filled with light and incredibly beautiful. "Someday, little clever Princess, you'll get it: Living is overrated." He patted her on the head, which made her furious with the condescending nature of it, and strode off. _

_Well, she could judge him now, judge him by his own actions. She judged that Overlanders, especially the boys, were foolish and ungrateful creatures. They weren't anything like Mobians. She would certainly NEVER think even remotely the way he thought! How arrogant of him to think she would!_

_

* * *

_

"Well, that was interesting," she said, as Cu left her mind, bringing her back to the present world in the cave. She was frowning heavily. "I hate him even more now, I think."

Cu was silent.

"He told me about the attack!" She said. "'One day your world will crash down?' He knew!"

-But you already knew he knew, didn't you?-

"Well yes...but..." She had found out later, of course, that Snively was in league with Robotnik the whole time, but still... the idea of him saying it indirectly to her child self, the idea of him talking to her and knowing of his Uncle's deed...taking part in his Uncle's deed...with no concern for her or anyone else!?

She had already known it...but that didn't matter. She ripped at the scabs, she dwelled on it, because it was fuel for her hate and rage. It wouldn't be so bad if he'd never seen her, never spoken to her...if she and the other Mobians had been a nameless, faceless mob for him and his Uncle to attack. It wouldn't have been so very personal then.

"Is there anyway to get him out of my head?" She asked, her voice holding a note of desperation. "I can't stop thinking about him lately. I don't know why."

-Do not think of him. You control your thoughts, do you not?-

She stared out over the Source Pool. "Maybe if I bathe...maybe it would help."

-As you wish.-

Sally entered the Source Pool until the thick liquid came to her chin. She felt soothed already, like any dirt or stains on her body had been taken away.

But not from her mind. So she filled her lungs with air and held it there, with her cheeks puffed out comically, she sank even lower until her entire body was emerged.

She thought she could hear voices in the Source. Not creepily whispering, but humming. Singing maybe, but so muffled that it was a wordless mummer.

It was beautiful. It was... it was like being pure. Like being a child in a womb...yet untainted by the world.

_'I want to stay here forever...' _

She fought to keep her breath, but her lungs were aching and she saw red flashes behind her eyes.

_'No...don't let me be born yet...don't let me be dirtied.'_

But she had to arise, dripping and sorrowful, but cleaner. More herself again.

"Thank you," she said...to Cu, to the air. To the Source, to everything.

She was dry by the time she emerged from the path to the Power Ring Pool. She was dry, and must be looking splendid, for Sonic was striding along the grass towards her, and his eyes lit up at the sight of her. His mouth dropped open slightly as it always did when he was impressed with her.

"Wow, Sal. You look real good today! Get a new shampoo or something?"

She giggled to herself. The Source was better than any shower or bath! Maybe she should just forgo those and start using the Source for hygiene.

"Maybe," she said mysteriously.

He rolled his eyes, smirking, enjoying the tease. "Keep your beauty secrets. It's not like I need them."

"Oh puhleeese," she scoffed, playfully pushing his arm.

"Oh puhleese what?" They began to stroll back to the village, Sonic boasting loudly. "I see all the girls drooling over me. It gets kind of old sometimes."

"Ha!"

He grinned. "Is that all you can say is 'ha'? Guess you can't deny it then."

She leaned over suddenly, giddy with a rush of emotion – good emotion – and laid a kiss upon his lips. "I guess I can't."

Sonic tried to look nonchalant. "Yeah...I thought so."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Sally's sudden elation turning to just as sudden shame.

_'How could I have felt closer to Snively than to you? What is wrong with me?' She tried to picture Snively's face, so she could hate him more, but it wasn't showing. She felt the happiness coming back, like the slow melting of snow warmed by Spring sunlight. He was gone out of her mind, finally...the Source had taken him away. 'I will never have another person occupying my thoughts like that again. Except Sonic. Except people I love.'_

"Hey Sal, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. For once, Sonic, nothing."

* * *

For a week Knothole was filled with preparations. Rotor's workshop was open to villagers; he taught them how to craft metal-eating bombs and they packed metal canisters with explosives for general mayhem-making in Robotropolis. Sally continued to frown upon any desire from village folk to come on the mission; her father seemed fairly tolerant of the idea.

Sonic scoffed, looking around at the group who had assembled to fight. They were led by the villager Bernard. "It's not a matter of 'being able to fight,' he was telling them. Do you think the elite Freedom Fighters were born with the ability? No, they had to learn it...they learnt when they were mere sprouts!"

"I was never being a vegetable," said Antoine indignantly.

"Oh yeah, could've fooled me." Sonic rolled his eyes.

"He does have a point, sugah."

Bunnie, Sonic and Antoine were seated on the grass away from the trees, so they could have the full benefit of the autumn sunshine. There was a slightly cool breeze blowing. Antoine in his thick uniform didn't mind, but Bunnie had donned a short sleeved shirt.

"We nevah had any trainin' or anything. We jest went right into the city like a bunch of fools."

"Hey!" Now Sonic looked slighted. "We were a cool bunch of kids, man! Too cool to get caught by ole Robuttnik."

"What we did was really dangerous, though! And we never had any learnin' on what ta do..."

"Very lucky," said Antoine, "That we were never captur-ed and tortur-ed!"

"Whaddya mean?" Sonic poked Antoine's arm. "You got captur-ed plenty of times."

The fox scowled. His track record for being captured was not good. Neither was his record for rescuing people. "Ah...I was simply trying to...scope out zee enemy's territory, yes."

"So that's what it was," said Bunnie. Sonic snickered. Antoine looked quite irate, and so laughing, Bunnie planted a kiss on his cheek, ruffling her hand through his hair.

Antoine's scowl faded. "I am worried about this mission. It seems...not right."

Sonic stared at the fox. "Whaddya mean?"

"Oh, I don't know." The fox struggled to put his feelings into words. "It doesn't seem like it...like it will ever be ending. And they are thinking it will be ending."

Sonic looked away, letting his gaze settle over the village, over the people making bombs, over the children running, over the huts and gardens. True that. True that it seemed like this was all there was to life...the only way their lives could be. To think the war would ever be over? It did seem preposterous, it did seem foolish.

But no. Sonic was never a person who would say 'it's unbelievable' or 'it's impossible.' He had learned that anything could happen, no matter how amazing or ludicrous...it could definitely happen.

His speed, his amazing ability was proof of that. Who would have thought any living being could move as fast as he could? Probably nobody. Until they saw him.

"Maybe, Ant...but stranger things have happened, right?"

A small smile spread onto Antoine's face. "Oui."


	14. You'll Make it Through

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 14 : You'll Make it Through

Fire

The sun is well asleep The moon is high above

Fire grows from the east

How is this hate so deep? Leads us all so blindly, killing, killing

Fools are we

If hate's the gate to peace – Then this is the last stop.

"The Last Stop" – Dave Matthews Band

* * *

The autumn sunlight barely penetrated the smog cover of Robotropolis, but the cool breeze managed to worm its way in. Casssar had gone outside to take a stroll, finding the air more pleasant than usual. The light wind blew the stinging smog-air from her eyes and freshened her lungs.

_'It would be a good thing,'_ she thought, _'to bring Black Flower out here today.' _

Maybe she would bring him further out, perhaps they could go to the little stream where she and him had spoken so long ago. The first time he had snuck out of the city...while still employed to Robotnik...he had snuck out to see her.

Maybe not. It would remind him of his Uncle.

But right now, where was he? He was sitting in the very place that cruel man had sat, in the very same place where his tormentor had held power for so many years.

"So maybe yes, maybe I shall drag him along, kicking and screaming." She nodded at a robot sentry; it stared blankly back.

It was odd though, the power that Black Flower possessed over her. No other man had. The power of affection...she could never break him, could never force him to her will entirely. Her love prevented her from hurting him that severely. Any other person who resisted her commands...she could punish mercilessly. Almost numbly. But him...

Yes. She would bring him out into the light and let his skin, like grass too long under rocks, flourish and color...and warm. Because he was so cold...he had to feel. They had to feel together.

She retired reluctantly from cool open streets to the stuffy interior of the Command Center and its panels of gleaming metal walls. She was tempted, whenever walking down corridors, to splash them with magical color, much like she did her fur. But she wouldn't turn them black. Maybe purple or blue or even blood red. But that would drive Black Flower mad.

Into the Main Control room she went, her eyes flitting instantly to the center of the room. She knew he would be there. He never seemed to leave. Had to watch the surveillance monitors. 'Constant vigilance' he'd said.

He sprawled in the throne in the same manner as always, legs bent up on the seat, one arm propped on the rest, his head cocked into that hand. The silvery sheen of sweat was on his forehead and upper lip and his eyes were furious, roiled blue lanterns. Fueled by hate...hate and the love for death...the want of it.

She noticed he was wearing something new today. A crown. A thin sliver of dark polished metal across his brow. Studded by one, two, three, daisy-flowers, very delicately wrought upon the metal. But a strange shape were they, not smooth rounded petals, but spikes.

It looked more like a crown of thorns, or barbed wire. Like it would bleed him any second. She sighed.

He didn't look at her, but he spoke. "Admiring it, yes? I decided...if I'm a King...I need a crown. I was thinking of bastardizing King Acorn's – that would be sure to antagonize ole' Sally – but the design didn't look quite as good as this." His eyes slipped to her. He wasn't smiling, even though his voice was lilted with mad mirth. "Where have you been, Cass?"

She didn't want to come nearer; she was loathe to hear the ranting from his mouth, and the way an ocean of ice would boil and start to thrash in his eyes. It was like watching the slow devouring of a soul before her eyes. He thought his rages and mad ideas made him more alive. She knew it was the opposite. It smothered him.

"I've been out. In the air. The open."

He tsked. "It isn't safe out there..."

"Who would I run into? Your uncle?" She mocked, but she was tired of his brooding. "I think I could handle him, Black Flower!"

His eyes gleamed. "So did everyone else..."

"Enough of this tiresome topic." She grunted and sat down backwards in the wheeled chair by the console.

He was silent, gazing at the floor. Eyes blurring out of focus.

"What is on your mind?" she pried, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. But the silence was deafening. She wanted to smash it to pieces.

He let out a long 'hmmmm' sound, his finger pressing into his lower lip, brow furrowed. "There's something different in my mind. I feel like...I have something loose inside me, like a power that I could harness. It's like electricity, Cass, it's turning windmills...it's making me feel odd. I want to control it." He gave her a pointed look, as if she held the answer to his odd feelings.

She pursed her lips. "You DID have contact with the Source. It is a bit unsettling for minds unfamiliar with magic." She smiled. "Or so I've heard...since magic has been with me since I was a young child. I don't think I have ever NOT known its presence...even when it was dormant in me."

"Ah." Snively sat up straight, his lean body jutting forward towards her. Blue light danced in his eyes. "Do you think...I could possible be...magically inclined, like you? Cass? That I could learn it?" He giggled at the thought.

"No," she said, immediately. He looked displeased with the answer, flopping back into a slouch. His prying gaze was on her, and she stared him down, undaunted.

"I don't think you're telling me the truth." His mouth twisted into a sour pout. Then he jabbed a long finger at her. "I wonder if Cu Chulainne would tell me..."

Cass's hackles went on end and she hissed. "Do NOT be thinking that, Black Flower! Cu Chulainne is OUR enemy!" Oh...she could brush off Sally and the Freedom Fighters...they were nothing to her. But Cu...?

Cu had revealed the reasons behind her father's madness. But Cu had never tried to stop it. It had tracked down Sally so Sally could save her father from madness. But had it ever bothered to track down Casssar and her mother, when they were in such peril?! She seethed, her fingers curling into her palms, sharp claws cutting.

"YOUR enemy," Snively was correcting. "All it ever did to me was...oh, let's see..." He ticked off each offense on his fingers, "Take away my hair, let me get killed by Sally, erased my memory of Knothole...and oh, let's not forget...it tried to 'cleanse' my evil mind." He smirked. "And Sally...she was the one who stopped that, eh? I imagine she gets a thrill out of Freedom Fighting...gets her kicks from being leader. Maybe I should bring that up next time I see her. She'll be delighted I found out her secret."

Casssar rolled her eyes. "But I thought you were going to kill her, Cast, not converse."

He snickered again. "Yes, you're right. Cu is the enemy. And Sally and Sonic...and the lot of them. Next time, I'll tell her, and then I'll KILL her. I'll put her head on a pike so they'll all see her mistake. She should've let Cu do its Spring Cleaning on me..." He stood upright in the throne suddenly, with his arm outstretched as if holding an imaginary flag. "Then she wouldn't be DEAD from a futile fight with I, Lord Snively the Great, Supreme Master of Robotropolis!!" His voice rose to a mad cackle.

Casssar stared. Then she fell on the floor, convulsing in laughter.

* * *

The leaves were falling.

One day's time to the mission, and the dusk was setting in too soon.

Sally Acorn was fretting, fretting, fretting.

She paced by the pool side, her hair tangled and her eyelids drooping. She was so tired. Up all night worrying. Uncle Chuck had sent them a message: 'Snively's up to something. He's expecting an attack. I can't tell you what, because he hasn't saved any information into the computer AND he hasn't said anything to his girlfriend. So, be careful...'

Just flipping great. She yawned. She would have to get some herbal tea from Bunnie before bed tonight. So she could sleep, gather strength for the morrow's mission.

"What's eatin ya up, luv?"

"Oh Geoffrey!" She pushed her hair from her eyes and smiled; an attempt to look cheerful.

He saw through it. "Now luv...there's no use worrying about tomorrow."

"I'm not," she said.

He gave her a patronizing smile.

"I can't help it," she said. "I worry about every mission."

"Well luv, it's gonna go how it's gonna go. No use thinkin' on it." He rolled his eyes. "We sure weren't in any trouble last time."

She let out an angry sigh. "I don't know how many times I have to say it. Just because he didn't do anything that time-"

"Yeah, yeah, darling. I know. But we got all the advantages."

She was taken aback by the look he threw her, some kind of acknowledging, pointed stare, like he was prying right into her secret mind. And his words... "We've got power on our side."

Once again, suspicions arose in her. Did he know? "We've got Sonic," she said, because he was infuriating her, and she wanted to return the favor.

His eyes darkened. "Nah. I don't mean power in some high speed feet and a bunch of bad jokes. I mean real power."

She scoffed, trying to brush him off, as nonchalantly as swiping a fly. "You're not talking about the whole 'witch' thing, are you, Geoffrey?"

He laughed. "Oh...maybe..." He checked his watch. "Gotta scoot. I promised Bernard I'd teach 'em some stealth moves."

She watched him disappear down the path, her brow furrowed. Then she pivoted around on her heel, so she was facing the power ring pool and the rock wall behind it. She stared across the water, at the place where the door lay hidden behind the thick foliage.

_'Has Geoffrey been in there...has he talked to It?'_

_Dear Journal..._

_I'm sick of the deceit. Let tomorrow bring victory. Let tomorrow bring the end of the lies and the hate. And the whispers...and the..._

_Let me live free again, tomorrow._

_

* * *

_

"Today is the day," said Bernard over the breakfast table. "Today is the day we come out of hiding and take back our home! Mobotropolis!"

The villagers around him cheered. They were wearing all manner of clothes that they thought were 'Freedom-Fighter-ish"; goggles, shoulder belts, big clompy boots. And they were armed, pockets filled with explosives and even a laser pistol or two.

"On the day of victory, we will no longer be in hiding! We will be out fighting...fighting for what we LOVE! Fighting for Freedom!"

More cheers.

Sally left in the middle of Bernard's prattle. The speech was supposed to be elevating, inspiring. It left a lemon-sour taste in her mouth. She'd given such speeches before; only now did she see them as naivety.

Death was always bound to conquer before Life did, hate too, and fear. It was likely they all would succumb to it – never see the day when Life, Love and Hope turned the tides. It wasn't that she didn't believe in them. They were forces very real and very powerful. Maybe too powerful for weak mortal minds. Perhaps that's how darkness always found a way in...it crept in through the chinks and gaps in the mortal soul, broken by trying to contain those good forces.

"Maybe that's why we never win. Maybe we're just not worth those things yet. Maybe we just are too WEAK to fuel them, to keep them going. What do you think?"

"I think you should focus on today, darling. Questions of Life will always be there, begging to be answered...and quite frankly..." King Acorn stood on the threshold of his hut, his hand about to close the door. "The answers are probably not to be found in this existence. Only when you leave life can you see the wholeness of it. When you're out there, you can look back and see the picture made complete, instead of just one tiny piece."

"So what, then? You don't have any opinion?"

He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Be careful out there."

"I will..." she said, trying to keep the frustration from her voice, her body tensed against her father's embrace. "We'll win."

It sounded like a complete lie.

* * *

She headed for the cave. Nobody was down at the pool; everyone was in the village, preparing for the mission, or observing. 

_'Hope is a crutch for the foolish,'_ her mind had said.

_'Life is a bother,'_ Snively had said.

It was all so dark, so dark, but ringing with truth she couldn't deny.

But she saw blue flowers creeping along the rocks of the cave wall, and she pictured Sonic.

_'Your dream is gonna be real, real soon!' _

Sonic. She could be bothered to live for Sonic. She could think of him and WANT to endure. She could think of the end of the War and want nothing more than to live forever, through depression and elation, as long as she was alive!

_'It might all be too powerful for me to hold. Hope. Life. Love. Light. Beauty. Happiness. It might be too much. I might be too weak.'_

She entered the cave and there was Cu, hovering above the Source, a ball of warm soothing light.

_'But I have to try. I am a Fighter. My whole life. I've fought against darkness and death...and the hopeless...and the impossible. I fight, I win, but I lose everyday. Time ticks by.'_

-Don't fret away the time you have left.- The Light intoned.

And Sally took it...she took all the black haze from her mind and she threw it away. She drew in a huge breath and blew until she was dizzy...she blew the smoke away.

"Ok," she said. "Any thoughts?"

-Take caution. He is in a maddened state. He has a great fear of you.-

"Of me?" A sneer formed on the Princess's face. "Good. He should."

-It is not a jest, Sally. He fears you...he fears what you will bring.- The Light seemed to wane, as if concentrating. –I sense he will try to kill again.-

"Really..." How strange it was...the hope she'd thought was futile mere moments ago was now flooding over her. "If he wants to kill me...he won't do it from afar. He won't be able to resist being there in person, letting me see him. Oh...yes, Cu. I know HIM. Maybe the battle IS going to end today..."

-Be careful, Sally.-

"I always am," she replied.

-Shall I accompany you?-

She frowned. "No."

-What is wrong?-

"Has anyone else seen you? Besides me and Daddy? Geoffrey?"

-Geoffrey has never been to this place, aside from when the small one and the dark woman were here. They do not remember that.-

"I know...but...are you sure? Maybe Geoffrey remembered...maybe his memory wasn't wiped enough..."

-I believe not. He has not been here.-

"Well...ok." The frown was still masking her features.

-Shall I accompany you?- The Light queried again.

The response was the same. "No." Sally sneered. "The witch doesn't need her powers. She has her own wits."

-Witch?-

"Yeah. That's what the villagers call me. Because they don't know." She tossed her hair. "I don't care really...but...I just wish I could tell Sonic."

The Light spoke in a maddeningly neutral tone. –The purity of the Source is best protected when less people know of it.-

"But Sonic...we can trust Sonic!" She flared. "I mean....if you can entrust Snively, for goddess's sake-"

-He was my only means to get to you, not my desired one.-

"Bah." She waved a hand dismissively. "Look...I have to go...don't worry about it, Cu. They all think this is going to be a final battle, but it's going to be the same. A glorified raid." She shook her head. "But whatever. If it scares Snively, then good."

She left the cave without a backward glance, ignoring the Light's last warning to be careful.

* * *

"Where's Sally?" asked Sonic. "You think she'd be here. Where is she?" 

"Gathering up her strength," said Geoffrey, with a strange sort of sneer. Sonic scowled over at him.

"There she is!" cried Tails.

Their auburn-haired leader came striding between the tables of the cafe, waving a hand at the villagers who eyed her, as usual, with a mixture of apprehension and awe. But there was excitement in the air today, too, and hardly anyone was touching their breakfasts.

"Eat up," she commanded, "And quickly. Get food in your bellies, because we most likely aren't going to be back here until later."

"If we're back at all," said Thunderhill with a grunt.

"Can it!" Sonic glared as several villagers gulped and looked nervous. "We'll be back."

Sally didn't seem to be taking her own advice. Sonic slid a warm bowl of oatmeal and a piece of bread over to her. But she stirred the goopy liquid, and nibbled at the bread's crust, looking over the group, nodding, giving faux words of morale.

"C'mon Sal...no one's getting anything down," said Geoffrey, ten minutes later. "Let's just git this mission over with, then we can all have a big feast to celebrate."

"Alright." The Princess stood. "Attention. All people involved in the mission, proceed to the door and to the firepit. We'll gather there, take a roll call, and then leave. If you're not there in five minutes, then expect to be left behind." She cast her stormy gaze onto Geoffrey and Sonic. "C'mon, you two. Let's go."

"Yes m'am," responded the two rivals, promptly jumping to their feet. They, along with several chattering villagers, including Bernard, made their way to the door and outside into the brisk fall air.

* * *

Casssar said she didn't have nightmares. She didn't struggle, she didn't whimper, she didn't break. She didn't have to stave off the terrors, because her dreams were a wonderland. Snively had been quite skeptical and as it always was, his cynicism was reality. 

He had come to her room to summon her, for she was much later than usual, and he had actually bothered to prepare a breakfast for them.

He stood outside her door, listening to her moan, and he could tell she was asleep because she never sounded that desperate awake.

She was telling someone, a HIM, to stop, telling him it hurt, pleading.

"I'm bleeding...You're breaking my arms! I'm bleeding to death!"

It made him think of Julian...he felt ill. He had dreamed about the decaying bastard again last night, feeling those fists on him, choking on his Uncle's screamed threats and laughter.

He heard her crying and went in, hastening to wake her. He didn't want her to see it anymore.

_'She shouldn't have to relive it like me. She needs to be strong...and happy...she has to stay the same.'_

He needed her to be, both selfishly and unselfishly, he needed her constant strength to keep him from going mad. She was his rock to cling to in a hurricane wind.

He turned on the light and gently shook her sleeping form. "Cass...wake up."

She smiled upon seeing his face. "Ahh...good morning."

"You were-" he started, then cut off abruptly, returning the smile. She didn't remember? Had the dream memory fled quickly, leaving only a queasy feel of indigestion in the stomach, a flutter in the heart...her only remembrance of being hunted?

"Your hands smell like food," said Cass, nose twitching.

"I made breakfast." He stroked her arm. "More dehydrated goodness."

"Lovely." She yawned and shrugged off the sheets.

"Come on, then, up with you." He clasped her hand, drawing it to his lips, but not kissing. Casssar smirked at him, one eyebrow raising above those smoky olive eyes.

"My, such fuss over me this morning," she chuckled, standing up. Her fur was mussed, most likely from rolling around in her nightmare state. She smoothed it down, shaking her head. "And I look a sight."

"You look fine...sexy...as usual." This time he did kiss, laying one on her chin, tiptoeing his way up to her lips. Another chuckle escaped her, echoing into his mouth. He laughed too.

"Breakfast?" She pushed him away, not unkindly.

He nodded and they walked down the gleaming metal halls, through the maze of corridors until they arrived at the kitchen and their slightly-cold food.

* * *

They ate breakfast in relative silence, with Snively intently observing the ermine's face, her hands. She was so calm, like she hadn't just been hunted a half-hour ago. He could never fathom how she could just shove it down, disregard it. He woke up a shivering wreck after nightly dream grapples with Julian. 

Then again, her father was long gone, her dreams ware just dreams. His? His nightmares were becoming reality, bone-chilling truth revealed in that Princess bitch's lapis lazuli eyes and steely voice.

It was so unfair. Shackles had been broken, fists had been turned to dead lumps of meat unable to harm anymore. Robotnik had been slain in brutal ingenious fashion, but the tyrant refused to be buried, or burned, or shipped out to sea...he refused to rest. Robotnik had always said he'd never die...even if his body succumbed to mortality. He was right too...the fat swine had been fucking right.

Casssar was eyeing him over the rim of her cup. He tried to smile at her, but it came out wrong and she shook her head oh-so-subtly, her eyes sparkling, teasing him.

"Darkness clouds your mind again, Black Flower?" She set down the cup, running a finger along the rim.

"As always," he said with faux cheerfulness. And she smirked at that too.

"When they're dead, there'll be plenty of light." He rolled his eyes to the ceiling in an expression of mock rapture. "Maybe the smog clouds will even dissolve. They'll be here any day now. Any day. Today maybe."

"Maybe." Her tone was dismissing.

He sighed and scrapped up the last of the egg on his plate. There was silence again for a time, until Cass grinned and set down her fork.

"Until they do arrive, Black Flower, we should have a little fun."

There was something in her voice that made his heart flutter. He never knew how she did that. Bewitchment, maybe.

"I've a few ideas from my dreams that I'd like to try out on you," she purred.

Her dreams? His eyes widened. He felt like he was about to regurgitate the breakfast he'd just downed.

Bewitchment? No.

* * *

The group gathered around the firepit looked eager, anxious, terrified, sick, excited, vulnerable, confident, but above all, they all bore expressions of hope. 

Sally wanted to feel good about this; she didn't want to feel like slapping every one of them.

"Are we ready to go?"

There were nods. Sally noticed, that standing among the wolves were the children they'd brought along.

"Are they coming too?" she asked Lupe, with a sickening feeling in her gut. She didn't have authority over the wolves if they wanted to drag their young into danger.

To her relief, Lupe shook her head. "Just seeing us off."

The young Shaman cub, Nadie, was eyeing Sally keenly, with that invasive child scrutiny. Sally could not read everything in the autumn-orange eyes, but there was admiration. As the group gathered to leave, talking loudly to cover any fear and doubt, Nadie approached Sally and touched her arm.

She was strangely imposing, this child. Those searching eyes, dangling feather earrings and beads, mouse skulls braided into the thick dark plaits of hair. "You'll make it through," she said solemnly. "You have a powerful spirit guide."

Around them, Bernard and the other villagers stared. Sally heard whispers. Her cheeks flamed.

_'What do you sense?!'_ Sally wanted to grab the child and shake her, scold her for bringing the villager's suspicions fore-front again. ...

And for reading into her without being asked. Prickling, echoing in the back of her mind, behind the anger, were the words: _'Make it through? Make it through what?' _

"Thanks," she mumbled.

Nadie smiled.

* * *

They trudged to the wasteland. The closer they got, with each step closing the gap between idyllic Knothole and the dread Robotropolis, the villager's enthusiasm began to ebb. 

'_Dear Journal...it's not like it was a surprise. I told Daddy they shouldn't have come. They've been hiding in Knothole forever. Some of them rarely ventured out of the boundaries. And trek to the dark city, enter it? It was never an entertained notion._

_But now, in what they believe to be the last fight, the grand finale...now they want to come out, fight and be glorified. Now, when they had never shown an interest before. _

_Geoffrey's proud of them, touched by their willingness to risk their lives, even though he doesn't show it. Sonic is scornful, reluctant, but supportive. I'm staunch against it. Insulted, maybe. _

_Back to the present, though, Journal. Back to the wasteland. Where the fear started to kick in.' _

'You'll make it through,' Nadie had said. Sally looked at the crumbling confidences around her. It was disheartening. Annoying. But she'd make it through. Of course.

So now they drew closer to the city itself. The place of nightmares and dread. The place that Sally hated, but yet...she did not fear the city itself. The tainted buildings, the dead streets, the desolation...the corruption of her childhood haven? She didn't fear it. The others...they were beginning to tremble. Some of them had never even set foot here. It was overwhelming them, choking them with the horridness of it all.

Sonic looked bored. Geoffrey looked anxious to start destroying things. They weren't scared either, or shocked.

The Freedom Fighters had become immune to the tragic sight of the city. It barely even registered as a gasp or a shiver up the spine now. It was so strange, thought Sally, so very strange to see the reactions of the villagers, the normal, the expected reactions!

They really shouldn't have come.

(But don't worry, you'll make it through.)

They crouched behind the junk piles on the edge of SWATbot Factory 3. It was one of the lesser secured factories.

"Are we ready?" asked Sally. "Ready to split up?"

Geoffrey nodded. Thunderhill smiled viciously. "I've been ready...waiting for this all day." They intoned over each other. Sonic smiled widely, choosing to boast with a nonchalant attitude and a breezy wave of his hand. "Bring it on, Sal."

"I won't be the one bringing it," she said, swiveling her head to eye the towering egg-shaped Command Center perched in the center of the city. The most imposing building of them all. One of the villagers turned away swiftly after gazing upon its vile glory.

"I'm scared," she said.

"Scared? Scared?!" Another villager cuffed her soundly in the arm. "You can't be friggin scared, Ross! What the hell is the matter-"

"It's ok to be scared," said Sally. "Just don't let it get in the way."

"Emotions are energy," added Lupe, in her smooth soothing voice. "Energy can control or it can be controlled."

Ross nodded shakily, clenching her hands into fists at her sides. "O-ok. I'm uh...I'm ready."

_(You'll make it through, Sally.) _

She looked at the Command Center; she looked at Ross's fists. She looked at how the hackles stood up on the back of the female's neck. She looked at how Bernard's eyes were flitting about.

_(But will they?)_


	15. Dominance VS Seduction

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 15 : Dominance VS Seduction

I love the way you look at me,

I love the way you smack my ass

I love the dirty things you do

When I have control of you

I can't control you, you can't control me

I need to feel you, you need to feel me

(You're not the one for me, no)

So why is it evil – you and me?

"Control" – Puddle of Mudd

* * *

Casssar had grabbed Snively by the hand and led him away from the Command Center. He had protested, complaining about having to keep constant watch. She ignored him; she even dug her thumb-claw in, drawing a bead of blood. 

They reached her intended destination. His bedroom, that spacious metal room that had once belonged to Julian. She scooped him up and tossed him onto the huge circular bed, pouncing onto the mattress beside him.

"I'm going to have you today," she whispered, voice savage, "whether you like it or not."

He couldn't tell if she was joking or serious. Her eyes were gleaming and her mouth smiling...but that tone? It made shivers dance along his skin. He didn't know whether or not he wanted her to be joking or serious.

She sat back on her haunches, purring, seemingly more cat-like than ermine. He, still laying down, tilted his neck to better see her. She was smiling, wickedly.

"What are you thinking?" He voiced the question she asked him so frequently.

"You told me you could conquer a body almost a decade older than yours," she said.

"Yes," he said, recalling the conversation they'd had the second time they'd met.

"So, how would you, Black Flower?"

"How would I what?" He stared at the small fang jutting from the corner of her mouth. It seemed to gleam of its own accord.

"Dominate me."

"Dominate you?" he laughed, then sat up, eyeing her cunningly. "First, maybe I'd disarm you. Tell you how beautiful you are."

"Flattery will get you a smile, perhaps," she said, and grinned. "But nothing further."

"I'm just getting started..." he leaned forward and hissed into her ear. Further flattery. Flattery that turned into more lustful prattle. She giggled impishly as he described her body in more flattering...more graphic terms...She purred.

"Then perhaps..." he lightly took her ear in his teeth, nibbling. Then he moved the nibbling downwards, along the neck, to the shoulder. "Maybe I would add a touch of teeth."

"A touch of lips as well?" She whispered, laughing raspy in her throat.

He obliged. He kissed her neck, her chin. Then his hands lighted upon her cheeks and his mouth lighted, forcefully, upon hers. He kissed as long as he dared, as long as he could breathe.

He drew away, breathing raggedly. "Then, why you're still dazed from that..." (his own head was swimming) He slid his hands from her cheeks to her shoulders, down to the breasts...and where his hands moved, his mouth followed.

He felt the purr rumble through her skin. She enjoyed that. "This is more seduction than dominance, Black Flower."

"Aren't they the same?" He breathed against her fur. Indeed, she was seducing him without moving, without even responding. Her body was seduction and it dominated him...it made him want and need.

"No."

"You don't think seduction is dominance?" He was quiet for a long moment, trying to show his lust and love via action, letting his tongue speak words of a different language. She sighed.

"I suppose...a form." One of her long-fingered hands moved up his back, caressing the shoulder-blades through his shirt. He shivered and lifted his own long digits to fumble with his shirt buttons. He wanted her fur on his skin... "But the art of seduction is making the other want you. Making the other need your touch. Making the other feel beautiful and able to drop shields...to drop inhibitions...because you want them no matter what. No matter what flaws."

"Very insightful," he mummered, his shirt hanging open now to expose a pale strip of torso, his mouth kissing down her stomach. Strange how he'd woken up tired and frightful...strange how he'd trekked to her room and heard her crying...strange how he'd started the day dismayed...and now he'd forgotten it all. Now he was entangled in desire.

"The thing is..." Her fingers slid up his bare chest, bringing him another rush of shivers. "I already want your touch...you already want mine. We've already seduced each other, Castdecass."

He stopped kissing, not quite to the junction of her thighs yet, (but tantalizingly close) and looked up at her. She looked quite solemn, her eyes sleepy but scalpel-sharp, dissecting him with her gaze. What was she searching for? He rested his chin on her stomach, meeting the stare unflinching. "Alright, Cass, so?"

"It's only a subtle difference sometimes," she said mysteriously, and he sighed again. It was pretty funny, how, when he finally wanted to indulge with her, that she turned chatty and unresponsive. He did it to her all the time, he realized. No wonder she got annoyed with him. This was probably her way of getting him back...well...what was it she had said?

_'Dominate me?'_ He would, then. With his very own mouth...and he laid kisses all along her thigh.

"You love me, don't you, Black Flower?"

It wasn't a needy question. It was merely asking him to confirm a fact. He did.

"Yes."

"Seduction entails love in some way or another. Real, fake, or misguided, but it's always there."

She was starting to sound like a psychiatrist. He wished she'd shut it...because his breathing was getting heavier and his temperature was rising. He shrugged out of his shirt, but the cool touch of air did little to relieve -this- kind of heat. He directed his kissing to the insides of her thighs, breathing in the wild musky scent of her. Lovely dusty-fur perfume. He swore she'd never smelled better than today.

"Dominance doesn't need love."

His mouth was getting close to sacred territory, and he really didn't care what the hell this was. Seduction, dominance? It didn't matter...meaningless babble...it could be anything it wanted...as long as he got to his destination. His fingers trembled as he dragged them up her legs, kissing more fervently, drowning out her words, ignoring her...

Her hands lighted on his shoulders, like she was going to give a massage, her fingers curling. But she didn't rub or caress. Her claws dug into his flesh hard enough to draw blood and he cringed, letting out a startled yelp.

Her olive eyes were glittering as his eyebrows flinched, his mouth pouting as he rested his head on her stomach again, looking up at her. "Why-" he started, but she interrupted.

"You failed my request," she said, tone ominous. "You couldn't ever dominate, Cast, never with your love. You still care too much for my pleasure."

He narrowed his eyes, pout twisting into a sneer. She wanted to play silly little violent games, then, did she? Her claws were still digging into him, and he felt his skin flinch away. Fine, then, fine.

He sat up, dislodging her arms from his shoulders, and glared down at her. Her pearly tooth was glinting, and her eyes...smoky, veiled. He couldn't see a challenge there, but she surely was...she was trying to provoke him, somehow. He didn't even care about her motives. Riled. Lustful, craving, lecherous, all those lovely words were fit to describe him right now.

He grabbed her wrists roughly, one in each hand, and pinned them above her head, lowering his head to kiss her mouth. His teeth met her lips, biting. "My love isn't ordinary," he hissed, releasing one of her arms, dragged his free hand down her body. Her fur felt like silk sliding against his bare chest. Harshly that free hand lighted on her breast, harshly it groped and squeezed. He thought she would gasp, or squirm.

She didn't. She didn't say anything. He pressed his mouth against hers, harder, trying to convey his want to have her, to take her forcibly, to pleasure them both, he wanted her to feel that he wanted her.

She pulled her head away. Yeah, he must be scaring her now, with his dominating lust. A purr rumbled in his throat and he lowered his head to the junction of her shoulder and neck, laying a hard nip. Aroused, hard, fevered, wanting, those were adequate words to describe him now. She could feel all that, he knew, grinding his pelvis against hers, she could. Indeed.

She took in a breath. He raised his head, blinking, wild musky fur-scent on his lips, and his eyes glittering, waiting to hear her gasp, or moan, or breathe his name, or say she wanted him too, say that she couldn't stand it anymore.

She laughed at him.

"Black Flower...You still care too much."

* * *

**From the mouth of Sonic the Hedgehog, Way Past Cool Freedom Fighter!**

_I was paired up with that jerk Thunderhill again. Not cool. But I wasn't with him alone, this time. We had Lupe and the other wolves with us. And Ant. Yeah, not like Ant is a big help or anything, but I just know he's going to manage to screw something up. Hopefully not anything major. We were smart enough not to give him a gun or explosives. _

_It was cool to be teamed up with Lupe. She's a real neat girl. Strong and tough and clever. She's like Sally a lot, I guess. But different. Older, somehow. Like Sally might be when she's old. I had a funny thought then, of me and Sal. We're walking through the gardens of the palace, and Sally is holding my hand, and her other arm is crooked to_ _hold a baby. The baby is looking over at me with these incredible deep blue eyes...just like her mother's. I feel already, such a sense of pride at seeing those eyes, even though they're not real. Someday, maybe they will be. _

_Funny. I almost laughed. I never really thought of me and Sally so seriously before, like us making a family and stuff. I'm really too young for that sort of thing. But wayyyy in the future, when Snively is defeated and everything is cleaned up and safe again, maybe then...I'll be old enough. I'll be ready. _

_"Alright," Lupe's pleasantly accented voice rang out. "Sonic, Thunderhill, you two head down that street. The others and I will go this way." _

_We had explosives in our packs. Without a word, Thunderhill and I headed down the dark road. We planted explosives at every building we crossed. But unlike other missions, our goal wasn't to destroy the buildings. Our goal was to make as much chaos as possible. To detonate everything at once. There would be rubble and fire and smoke, a bit of destruction scattered everywhere, not just centered in one spot! If that didn't rattle ole NeedleNose, I don't know what would._

_Thunderhill finally looked over at me when we reached the end of the street. "Where to next?" He stared over at the towering Command Center. "Maybe we should trot down there and find the little skin-beast. I've got a knife with his name on it." _

_"Uh no. We're sticking to the plan, buddy." _

_Man, did I sound like Sally. Stick to the plan? It was another almost laughable thought. But hey, this plan was good (well... 'ok' anyway) But I'd rather stick to the most stupidest plan then to do anything Thunderhill wanted. The big oaf. _

_"Puh." He narrowed his eyes at me, shaking his head in disgust. "So what happens if he comes out from all these fireworks? Are you guys going to go up to him and nicely ask him to surrender?"_

_"Maybe," I said icily. "If Needlenose does surrender, why would we hurt him? He'll already have lost. He'll already be defeated."_

_"He's an enemy. He's a KILLER," Thunderhill retorted. _

_"Doesn't mean WE have to be!" I gritted my teeth, glaring down at my watch. "C'mon. We have ten minutes left."_

_I could've planted all the explosives myself in way less time then we were taking, but part of the plan was keeping a low profile. When I used my juice, all of RoboTown knew I was here. That's what they looked for. They never expected me to just be walking around. _

_It was a real drag walking, especially with Mr. Doof, but we covered another street. Sally had told me she was planning quite an explosion somewhere dramatic. The only place I could think of was where we'd been last time. The Statue of Robotnik. We'd already torn down the flag. _

_It was going to be the Statue, I just knew it. And Sally thinks I'm not clever. Or maybe that's not the word for it. Sally thinks I'm more open...more predictable. Easy to read. She thinks she's a closed book that no one can look into. Even with me...the person who knows her better than anyone! She thinks I can't see into her, either. But I can. _

_At the entrance of the next street, Thunderhill threw a bundle of explosives into a dumpster. I scooted up a drainpipe and placed a bundle on the windowsill of the adjacent building. It used to be a hair salon, I think. Now, when I looked down through the window, I could see junk. Piles of metal and gears and rusty pipes. Some kind of a storehouse, not for anything important, by the looks of it. _

_I squinted and looked skyward, at the Command Center. The skies above were empty. No patrolling hover units, no nothing. _

_"Hope your dragon friend don't get caught," Thunderhill said. "Would be a shame for a beauty like that to get shot down."_

_"Dulcy won't," I glared down at him. "She can outrun those hoverheads, easy." _

_"Seemed a little thick to me. I was just concerned about her."_

_"She's just a kid." I slid down the drainpipe and landed lightly before the wolf. "It's easy to forget that, since she's bigger than us." _

_"Yeah." He checked his backpack. "I've only got a few more left."_

_"Yeah, me too. Let's get going."_

_When our bags were empty, we went down to the beach, to the water refinery that we'd attacked before. It was already wrecked, so it was one of the few areas we were leaving alone today. _

_We were the first ones there. Thunderhill stood looking out over the water. The smell was disgusting, as usual. I really hated this side of the city. The smell was like...everything bad lumped into one aroma. Death and decay and rot and sickness. All lumped into one. Eau de Robotropolis._

_I'd have to tell Sally that when I saw her next time. She would laugh. _

_Sally. My Sally would laugh. Would this Sally?_

_What are you talking about? She's the same Sally. _

_She's so..._

_She's so desolate. _

_My eyes blurred as I stared at Thunderhill's back, his tail blowing in the breeze. Maybe a piece of the beach had gotten lodged into Sally's skin and started to rot. She had something inside her, something that nagged her, some kind of wound...and she couldn't get it to go away. _

_There was a piece of blue glass at my feet. Maybe that was what had cut her. Sally thought I couldn't always connect things, but this glass_ _was the color of Snerdly's eyes. I knew the little pipsqueak had wormed his way into Sally's mind, HE was the thing rotting. _

_Thunderhill turned around and sneered at me. "You look a mite upset, boy."_

_Did I now? I was thinking, if Snively came out...if we did meet him face-to-face today...maybe I would kill him. If it would help Sally. Maybe I would._

_I kicked the blue shard of glass into the frothing waves. _

_"I'm fine." I said._

_

* * *

_   
Snively sat up. Ow. That stung. Her laugh, it cut right through. It stung. 

She was staring at him, her lush body still sprawled out before him, but his desire had waned, sudden as a popping balloon, at the presence of that laugh. His eyebrows knit downward into a glare and his bottom lip jutted out in his typical displeased pout. He turned away from her, moving to slide off the bed.

_-Dominate me- _

Something popped into his head. Something from the morn. Her voice, strung out into moans....such an unfamiliar sound...a voice telling someone to stop. To stop...dominating? Hurting?

Dominance doesn't entail love. It means that one person controls another, for their own pleasure or will, or whatever reason one would want to control another. He turned his body back towards her, his voice low, but demanding. "This doesn't have anything to do with your dream this morning?"

She stiffened, ever so slightly. Most people would miss it, but Snively had become adept at seeing beneath her nonchalant façade. She was affected by things more than she showed. "I told you...I would show you some things from my dream," she said, airily. "I thought it would be interesting."

"Really." He raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so, Cass."

She was unsettled. She mussed her hair, all lazy and smoky, but she was throwing it into her eyes, she was trying to hide herself. "I thought he was buried. I thought it was. But he's still there."

Like a dead body...like a dead Uncle come back to haunt....

Snively shuddered, gritting his teeth against the sudden chill. "Why the fuck do you want to act it out, then?" he snarled, surprised by the flood of sudden anger. For her, or for her father, he couldn't tell.

Her lips curled into a sneer. "Two men that I love...loved. Sometimes you have to compare, Cast. Compare and contrast."

It took a minute, like a gunshot blast to the body...it took just a while for the pain to sink in. When it did, he was astonished. "You..." He recoiled from her, in fear of her feelings, and in fear of himself...what he could mean to her. "You think I'm like...like him?"

A chuckle bubbled up in her throat. It quickly trickled away as he pulled farther from her. "Oh Cast..." She frowned. "No. No."

"Why did you say that, then?" He didn't believe her. He felt sick, sick. "I do. When I touch you...you feel him..."

"No."

He clutched one hand to himself, holding the other out to see it, to observe the skin and tendons, blue veins and fingernails and knuckles...his hand. A killer's hand, yes. But he'd never seen it as a rapist's hand until now. That's what she saw.

"The dream," she growled.

He saw his hands on her, but she wasn't an adult anymore. She was a little girl, with shimmering white fur. She was squirming and crying under him.

_'No, please.'_

"The dream confused me. It changed things in my head."

_'Please stop.'_

He was laughing down at her.

_'It hurts.'_

He laughed down at her.

"He's not supposed to be there. He hasn't been there in so long..."

That's what she saw? She saw her rapist father in him. She saw his hands as molesting selfish things. She saw his lips as lecherous and leering.

"My hands turn into his..." He was nearly off the bed, trying to distance himself from her. His hands were shaking as he clumsily rebuttoned his shirt, trying to hide his pale skin. Erasing the last traces of greedy lust from his eyes, closing them.

"No, Cast." Her voice was low and urgent; she viciously grabbed hold of his arm, pulling him closer to her. Her fingers, black as ebony, intertwined with his stark white digits. Such a contrast. But her eyes matched his, for once. Troubled. "I KNOW you are NOT him. You are nothing like him. His hands brought pain...yours..." She raised his hand to her mouth, kissing each knuckle lovingly. "...bring pleasure."

He couldn't shake the image of her child eyes, large in that small white face, staring up at him. His hand was cold and sweaty in her real-life grip.

"Cass, you never have to do things like this to...to please me. If it makes you uncomfortable..."

The child Cass was pleading with him to stop, but hadn't the adult always oozed seduction...?

She tilted her head, a mischievous smile hugging her lips. His hand was cradled to her cheek. "Cast, what was one of the first things I did when we met?"

"You shot me." He squeaked a laugh.

She chuckled. "Other than that, Cast!"

"You kissed me."

"A wonderful kiss indeed....yesssss..." Her tongue flickered up one of his fingers and he shivered. "The lust between us is mutual, my love."

"Then why..." He was confused, and still wary. She sucked on the end of his fingertip, her eyes glinting. He wanted her again, even more than before, but this want was tinged with guilt. "Was this some sort of test? To see if I'd try to...force you...or..." he trailed off, his white cheeks deepening to scarlet.

She shook her head. "No. I know you aren't that sort."

"I don't understand you sometimes..." He nuzzled his head under her chin. "But I suppose that's ok."

She lifted his hand to rest on her breast; his long fingers curled there, like the kneading of a kitten's paws. "Oh yes, the mysterious element," she said, semi-mockingly. He nodded.

"Yes I suppose you could-"

"Things are being unburied." She was speaking over him, her voice low, distant. "He hasn't lurked in my dreams...for...things are coming to the surface, and I don't know why."

She sounded like she did know. Her voice held the tone of knowing where the blame lay, but not wanting to point it out, not wanting to put someone at fault.

His uncle was coming out of the ground, rotting and vengeful. Were her dark memories coming out of the same grave? Was he digging the shovel in even deeper down than Robotnik...stirring up things within her mind's vaults, too? But her memories were dead, and his were real! She wouldn't die from it, he would. She could fight it, because she was strong. "Don't think about him, Cass. He's gone."

"Is he," she mummered. Her breath was warm against the top of his head.

"Yes."

"They both are," she said obscurely. "They're both gone and yet they aren't."

"Quiet," he said, the burning back in his veins again. He broke away from the cuddling and became lustful again, kissing at her chin. "Don't talk about them anymore."

"Alright," she said. "That sounds like a fine idea."

He smiled deviously, his eyes finally free of guilt and fear. "Now...where were we?"

She took his hand and dragged it up her thigh. "I believe you were about to..."

"Ah yes..." He purred and slid his body down hers, until he was laying between those long black legs again, blue eyes alight as he threw her a sultry glance. She laughed, and this time, it didn't hurt him.

"Don't keep a lady waiting, Black Flower..."

* * *

"Alright Dulcy..."

The dragon's scales were smeared with mud and ash from the firepit. She was dark and dirty; she blended nearly perfectly with the Robotropolian sky. She was nervous though, because even gray as she was, a hover unit would probably still spot her.

"Let's get this over quick then. Quick, quick! C'mon!"

She gritted her teeth and beat her wings harder, gaining altitude among the smog clouds. She coughed.

"Just a bit higher..." She was above the balcony of the command center now. Her hands dipped into her belly-pouch, withdrawing an explosive canister. She tossed one down, watching as it clattered down onto the metal floor. It rolled to the edge – she grimaced – but wedged itself between two of the railing bars. She sighed.

There were two more canisters in her pouch. She soared a bit higher, coming close to the building. The surface was incredibly dirty this close; her fingers came away black when she ran them along the plate-metal. She made a face. "Yuck."

The plate metal wasn't the seamless surface it looked from the ground or far away. No, the Death Egg building had many little ledges, ridges and small holes in the expanse of its exterior. She figured the holes were air intakes or outtakes, or some such thing. Whatever. They were big enough to fit an explosive canister. She wedged one in. Another canister was left upon a narrow ledge.

She heard the hum of a hover unit approaching.

"Outta here!" She dived downwards.

"Good work, Dulcy," Sally's voice was low, her eyes dark as she helped the dragon up from her usual crash landing. "You know what you have to do next?"

"Sure thing, Sally!"

"Good." Grimly, the squirrel handed Dulcy a bag of canisters. "Be careful."


	16. Kaboom

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 16 : Kaboom

How can I pretend that I don't see

What you hide so carelessly?

I saw her bleed; you heard me breathe

And I froze inside myself and turned away

I must be dreaming.

We all live (and)

We all die (but)

That does not begin to justify you.

It's not what it seems, not what you think

No, I must be dreaming.

It's only in my mind, not real life

No...I must be dreaming.

"I must be dreaming" – Evanescence

* * *

Snively had forgotten all about Casssar's dream. He'd forgotten his uncle. Everything that was of importance to him, the dark dreams, the plans to protect himself from Robotnik, they were flown out of his mind. He was caught up in the sounds of Casssar's breathing, heavy, her fingers stroking his back, her taste on his lips...Oh yes. Those were the only things of importance in the universe right now. 

Until it all exploded.

At first he thought he'd done something wrong, he'd displeased Cass and she was using her magic. Then he realized...the building was shaking. The sky outside his bedroom window was flaring, like fireworks were going off outside. Three seconds later, the sirens went off and the red alert light mounted on the wall began to flash. He clamped his hands to his ears, a whimper escaping as the color scarlet flashed beyond his eyelids.

Casssar growled and raised her hand. A ball of white hot energy left her fingertips, exploding the offending red alert light. The colored glass fell to the floor and Snively took his hands from his eyes, trembling. "They're here. They're HERE!" He clutched his stomach, trying to resist the urge to vomit.

Everything he dreamed of – the nightmares. It was here now. He leapt from the bed, buttoning his shirt haphazardly, his mouth a grim line, his eyes terrified.

"Cast," Casssar began. He whirled around to eye her madly. She was beautiful. Her hair was disheveled. She was HIS. This empire was HIS. Robotnik would not come back from the dead and reclaim it with his rotting hands! He and his resurrector, Sally, would DIE! A savage gleam came to his azure orbs and he smirked. "They're HERE, Cass...but I'm READY."

She watched him flee the room with a frown. Then she flopped back upon the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Heart was still drumming, breathing was still heavy from the pleasures so abruptly taken away. "Those Freedom Fighters are beginning to annoy me," she muttered.

The explosions rocked the ground under their feet. Several of the villagers cheered. Sally looked on in silence at the smoke and fire, the wreckage clattering to the ground. Never had they damaged so many buildings at once, or ever placed explosives on the Command Center itself. It would have done no good with Robotnik.

Despite her silence and unmoved demeanor, Sally found it exhilarating. She had sometimes entertained the thought of utterly destroying Robotropolis, and on top of the ruins, building a new and clean version of the old Kingdom she had once loved.

Sonic grinned over, nudging her with his elbow. "Nice show, eh, Sal?"

She nodded.

"C'mon Sal." He nudged her again. "Show a little enthusiasm! Things are going great so far."

"Doesn't mean it'll stay that way!" She had to talk louder over the clamor of sirens coming from different buildings. The air was filled with the flash of fire and whirling red lights. "I doubt it'll be long before he starts sending out retaliation."

"Bring it on!" scoffed the hedgehog. "We can handle anything he throws at us. Right gang?" Geoffrey nodded. Ross and the villagers looked nervous. The wolves merely looked...expectant.

"Right," said Thunderhill and Lupe nodded. "We came here to fight, and fight we will."

There was another loud boom as another explosive went off, and Sally looked up to see smoke billowing from the Death Egg. She saw the balcony get cloven in half. Her eyes followed the path of twisted metal as it hurtled to the ground, sending up a volley of sparks. "Well...that's certainly going to get his attention."

Antoine's teeth were beginning to chatter. "Oh...Snipley is going to be very angry." Sonic snickered.

"Yeah, that's kind of the whole point."

"No," corrected Sally, "The whole point is to shock him...to make him see we aren't going to take this anymore." She glared towards the beach; she could see it through the streets a few blocks down. The water looked like black oil, slick and glimmering; the sound of the toxic waves hissed through the air. It was like white noise in between the booms and rumblings of the explosives, all synchronized for different times.

Sonic rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait to see what he brings out."

* * *

His breath was brought out. It was dragged from his lungs by a forceful hand and he gasped, he wheezed. He choked at the sight. Snively had stumbled coming into the Command Room, and down on his knees he had gazed up at the monitors, all lit with destruction. More destruction than they had wrought before. Frantically, he ordered cameras mounted on different buildings to reveal their footage, and one by one, each camera (if it wasn't destroyed) showed the same scenery. Fire and wreckage and falling pieces and smoke and crackling severed wires. One camera focused on the statue of Robotnik; it was lit red and orange from the flames, and he swore he saw the eyes glinting, winking. The horrible grin was alight too; he was smiling because he had come BACK to seize his throne. 

"No. No." Snively felt too weak to stand up, but he forced his legs to rise. They trembled and he teetered towards the control panel, his small hand seeking out his headset lying there. Shaking hands slid the familiar device over his ears. He forced a few deep breaths, trying to break the hyperventilating that had overtaken him.

_'No. Breathe in. Out. No, he's here. Stop it. Breathe OUT. NOW, breathe in. Yes. Come on. You have to defend. Breathe out.' _

He patched into a Com channel. "Attention all SWATbots. I want a full sweep of the city, search for any intruders. Shoot on sight." There was an affirmative response and he accessed another channel. "Stealthbot Squadron Delta Bravo – come in."

Stealthbots, the sleek secretive robots. They were one of Robotropolis's most deadly flying machines. But rarely used inside the city; their laser canons and blasters were too destructive to buildings. He didn't care.

"Launch ALL Stealthbot squadrons. I want heat-seeking sweeps of the city done, quickly and thoroughly."

-Yes, Sir.-

"If you come across any LIVING source of heat, I want it eradicated."

-Sir, this could heavy damage to surrounding buildings.-

"I don't care! Demolish the city if you damn well please...I want them DEAD. I want HIM dead!" Snively nearly screamed into the mic hovering inches from his mouth, his fists grinding closed.

-Affirmative, Sir.-

"That is all. Commencing Launch countdown...NOW."

A finger lighted on a red Robotnik-eyes-soon-to-be-dead button and pressed down.

"There won't be enough of you left to bring back alive, Julian!"

* * *

1. 

The klaxon sirens had begun to wail. The villagers had quit cheering at the sound of them, and now were huddling closer to their junkpile shelter.

2.

"There's no way he ain't aware of what's going down now," said Geoffrey. He had lit up a cigarette and was puffing away nonchalantly. Ross started coughing and Sally cast the skunk a sour look.

"Aren't smokes for after a victory?" Sonic tapped his foot impatiently.

3.

Geoffrey leered over at Sonic, inhaling a deep breath and then blowing a cloud of the pungent smoke into the hedgehog's face. "As far as I see it," he snickered as Sonic gagged, "We ALREADY won."

4.

"Yeah. Maybe," Sonic stepped away from the smoke cloud.

5.

"Something's coming." One of the villagers whispered. From somewhere down the street, they heard the echoed clanking of several pairs of metal feet.

"It must be a troop of SWATbutts," said Sonic. "I know the sound of them anywhere."

6.

"What should we do? Should we run?" asked Ross. "A whole troop...how many is that? How are we supposed-"

"SSH!" hissed Sally. "If they don't find us, obviously we won't have to do anything!"

The girl flattened down her ears, looking chastised. "I'm sorry..."

7.

"You guys wanted to come," said the ground squirrel crossly, glaring at the wounded Command Center.

"We'll be fine." Bernard put a hand on Ross's shoulder, casting a cold glance to the Princess's back. "I'm sure these guys weren't so cool on their first time here. But hey...who would be?"

8.

Snively noticed, for the first time, a draft. He turned on his heel, tearing his fevered gaze away from the monitors. He didn't say anything. Didn't even blink. The doors to the balcony were twisted open and he could see, outside, a portion of the railing was missing. He imagined more than that had been damaged, but he didn't bother to go look.

9.

He scanned the monitors. Fire and mayhem everywhere. He brought up a map of Robotropolis, noting the areas in red-alert. Strewn across the city, they were everywhere...except the beach.

"SWATbots. Storm the beach. They're THERE."

10.

The aerial doors opened, allowing the Stealthbots to ascend from their underground bunkers. Snively retreated to the throne, perching on the seat, straight-backed and alert. The Freedom Fighters were done for now...and so was Robotnik.

He laughed.

* * *

The Freedom Fighters crouched low as a troop of ten SWATbots clanked by them. 

A minute later, the troop came back, but they still managed to overlook the silent Mobians.

"That's not the same group," said Sonic, his brash voice low for once. "There was eleven...the last group had ten."

"He must know we're in the area," Bernard said.

"How many troops do you think he has out here?" squeaked Ross.

"Oh my...I am not liking this...not liking this at all!" Antoine's voice was even thinner than Ross's; he was wringing his hands together.

"I think we should move. They're gonna find us soon."

"And be out in the open?" Geoffrey scoffed. "Best to keep yourself under some kind of cover, mate."

"Omigosh, yes," sputtered Ross, tugging at Bernard's arm. "We don't wanna get shot."

"So what do we do then?" growled Bernard. "Stay here and let them find us?"

"Sonic." Sally turned her eyes on the blue hedgehog. "Go out and see what our situation is. But no theatrics. Try to keep a low profile, if that's possible."

He smiled at her old cynicism...that was the Sally he knew and loved. "Hey babe, you know I always do."

"I mean it, Sonic!" She pushed her hand on his backpack, assuring that he was carrying his ring. It was there, she could feel the smooth hard ringlet through the fabric.

"Yeah yeah." He chuckled and took off. Sally was thrown back, landing squarely in the arms of Geoffrey. He grinned down at her.

"Ok, now we sit tight," she huffed, untangling herself from his embrace. "He shouldn't be long..."

* * *

Sonic loved the feel of running. It was truly a gift. The air seemed to slide so smoothly into his lungs. His vision was not the insane color-blur that everyone thought it was. Rather, objects seemed to slow down, decelerate as he accelerated, which explained his incredibly agility at high speeds. 

He could hear a troop as he whipped around a corner. There they were, marching away from him, a double row of five.

"Ten uglies," he muttered. He reversed course, heading down another street. There was another troop.

He cut down an alleyway that led out to the beach. The water refinery was under repair. Sonic was mildly surprised to see only a small amount of techbots and workers on the job. Robotnik always had wreckage sites covered with robots to repair damage as fast as possible. It seemed Snively wasn't all that concerned.

"Heh. He will be now." He grinned as another explosion went off somewhere in the city. He zipped around the building, eyeing the ladder attached to the side of the building. What the heck. He was up in a second, teetering on the edge of the roof, staring down at the streets.

"Oh man!" From the heart of the city, more troops of SWATbots were pouring into West Robotropolis. Snively definitely knew they were in this area. He watched dismayed; the troops were splitting up. They were aiming to cover the escape routes, he realized. They were penning them in...

"But for what?"

Maybe Snively was going to come out with another troop, thinking he could cage them and then gun them down on the streets. It was something Robotnik would do. He'd tried it, sort of, one time, when he had built the radar that tracked Sonic's speed. Sonic and Antoine had been surrounded by SWATbots and Robotnik had nearly killed them both with his laser rifle.

"Until Ant grabbed the power ring. He really saved our butts that day." He shook his head, a grim smile tugging at his lips. Silly to think about that now...

They could still get out...they could head into the heart of the city...there was still many streets left open. "Gotta get back and tell Sal..." He stood for a moment, taking a breath, raising his eyes skyward.

Hmmm. Lightning. He saw the clouds flash red. Only for a split second. Strange...he hadn't thought it would rain today. It was hard to tell here by the beach...the air was so sodden and heavy already. He put a hand above his eyes, squinting into the clouds...and then his eyes widened and the hand dropped.

"Oh no. Stealthbots." He had seen a shadow, only for a split second, he had seen the shape of one of the deadly ships through the clouds. It could've been his imagination teasing him...

He couldn't take that chance.

"I've got to get back. Fast!"

* * *

-Heat seeking sweep shows a group of life forms in Quadrant B of West Robotropolis.- 

Snively was standing at the door of the balcony, one hand locked on the door frame, and he whirled about, racing over to the monitors, his feet sliding on the smooth floor. "Excellent. Excellent!" He crowed. "Lock on targets and annihilate them!"

-Affirmative.-

Snively stepped back, a perverse grin on his face, and raised his arms, mimicking those silly ancient Earth preachers. "And HE shall rain fire upon them from the heavens and they shall perish!"

* * *

Casssar lay on the bed. Her breathing had returned to normal. Eyes were half-closed. He was gone, her passion was gone, but his touch lingered. She felt, in her bones and skin, the rumble of another explosion; it was like hearing him fall apart. 

Stop. Leave him alone. He does nothing to you here. Let him alone so he may heal.

She could go out and kill them herself, but he would hate her for that.

He can't heal anyway. He can only scab over. And he can't leave the scabs alone.

She could slip out among the shadows and find them...she could creep her magic along the ground like a poisonous fog and slaughter them...and he would never know.

He can't heal anyway, ever.

She stayed in bed and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Where is he?" Antoine was holding his hands to mouth, shaking. Another SWATbot troop had gone by. "That fuel is being too slow for once!" 

"Keep quiet, would you?" Thunderhill snarled, shooting a murderous look at the fox and the shivering Ross, whose eyes widened even more at the wolf's tone.

"Though I would agree, let's keep our tones civil, shall we?" Lupe's voice, soft as always, still managed to slice through any argument like a sharpened axe blade. Thunderhill backed down.

Sally glanced at the two, seeing their fear...and she felt something bubbling inside her. She put a hand to her chest; she examined the feeling. It shocked her. Mirth. She wanted to laugh, dark terrible laughter. She choked it down, giving an encouraging smile.

"Come on, Sonic," she muttered. She wanted out of here...it felt too dangerous, suddenly.

It couldn't be her wanting to laugh. It was someone else inside her.

Something's wrong.

_'You have a strong spirit guide.'_

_No, I don't. That's Cu...it's only Cu that Nadie sensed. I have nothing. _

Her eyes flitted to the sky. It seemed darker. But it was always dark here. Her ears hummed...she could hear something...

He was laughing and he sounded sick and exhilarated...and afraid. _I can hear you laughing, Snively. _

_You have a strong spirit guide. _

_Do I? _

_Then how come it only shows me HIM? _

She could hear something...subtle and high-pitched, almost beyond the ranges of her hearing. Too high for a human ear, and that's why they could never detect a Stealthbot by ear. They had to be very close now...

"We have to move," she said. "We have to get undercover!"

"But zee SWATbots!" cried Antoine.

"Run for the beach. The water refinery...and get down under the pipes. You hear me?" Sally grabbed Antoine's arm; he was starting to panic. "Get down under the pipes."

"Sally..." began Geoffrey, but then his ears pricked up. He nodded, a steely glint in his eye. "She's right. We've got to get out of here."

"But Sally...do ya'll really think they'll fire on us? That'll wreck a whole buncha buildins, Ah reckon?"

"Maybe he doesn't care," Sally was craning her neck around their pile of scrap, seeing that the way was clear. "Maybe he's that crazy."

Sally tensed down, coiled like a spring. "Ok...go...NOW!"

She leapt forward, the others right on her heels. She could hear Antoine's breathing, harsh and terrified, rasping so loudly in her ear. When he wasn't tripping over his own feet, Antoine was one of their faster runners.

They made it down three streets without running into any SWATbots. One of the villagers was clutching a stitch in their side, whimpering that they couldn't run any further. Thunderhill barked at them to quit being so weak; Sally, though she thought it harsh, had to agree. Her heart was thumping madly in her chest; her eyes scanned the road ahead of them. There were robots everywhere – they were going to run into a troop any minute now...and there would be shooting...and...

"SALLY!" Sonic's voice. She turned her head; he was racing down a side road towards them. His gloves were covered with oil, his shoulder was oozing blood. He'd run into a SWATbot troop. He might've even cleared the way for them... "SALLY, THERE'S STEALTH-"

She heard them coming up. Behind them. Like a far-off voice in a dream, barely discernable... but she recognized it. "Scatter," she said, "SCATTER!"

They obeyed, scattering in different directions...as the Stealthbots opened fire.

"I'll try to distract them!" Sonic yelled. Sally nodded without looking at him, panting, running zig-zag like a frightened rabbot. Laser fire fell like rain around them, blowing small craters in the streets, sending debris from buildings crashing down. A window shattered as she ran by and she threw a shielding arm up, feeling the sting of lacerations.

It seemed to work. Sonic dashed down the street ahead of them and overhead, the Stealthbots followed his lead, shooting futility after him. He dodged the blasts with ease.

"Keep heading for the beach!" Sally called out loudly, thankful, not for the first time, for Sonic's incredible gift.

"Hmmm..." Geoffrey trotted alongside her, his beret askew on his white tuft of hair. "Thinkin' you were right, luv, about us underestimating ole Snively."

She put a hand to her stinging arm, withdrew it covered in blood. She glared ahead, seeing the road rapidly being covered in rubble. Snively was shooting up his own buildings in this psychotic attempt to kill them. "Yes, I'm afraid we did." She slowed down, raising her voice to a shout. "Let's go down a side road, it'll be faster!"

"And less glass," said Geoffrey, watching as a stray laser shot missed the speedy hedgehog and shattered a huge window, littering the sharp pieces upon the street.

The group turned right, heading away from Sonic and the chaotic nightmare ahead...

* * *

-Priority One: Hedgehog targeted.- 

Three messages bleeped out of the speakers at once and Snively whirled back to the monitors, his eyes widened. "NO, no NO!" He bellowed. Oh, stupid Julian and his fixation on that blue parasite. That aspect of Uncle had never quite rubbed off on Snively. He knew ALL the freedom fighters were a threat, not just the talented hedgehog. "Override that Command, Stealthbot Lead!"

-Command can only be overridden by Lord Robotnik.-

Of course. Stealthbots were Julian's babies. Nobody fucked around with their default commands except the Fat One himself. Snively had neglected to change their protocols to answer to Snively the Great, because he hadn't used them...he hadn't had a need to use them. Until Sally's little message...

"That's about to change," muttered the small Overlander, his fingers clanking over the keyboard, eyes narrowed, his tongue bit between his teeth. Like a surgeon slicing oh-so-delicately through the vulnerable flesh of the brain or heart, he dissected files and commands, killing Code that pertained to Robotnik and replacing it with his hated little name, Snively, (Snively the GREAT, that is), hacking away into Stealthbot protocol until...

YES.

They answered to HIM now.

"Stealthbots, Override Priority One: Hedgehog. Your NEW priority one is ANY Mobian in your sights. Do you copy?"

-Targets are not within Sight, Searching for Priority One: Mobians.-

"Very good. They can't have got far." Snively giggled as he sank down into the wheeled chair by the console. "Let the massacre begin!"

* * *

"Blimey!" Geoffrey nearly crashed into Sally, who had halted with a screech of her blue-booted feet. Ahead of them, a troop of SWATbots were racing their way. 

"Turn around!" She whirled about, pushing Geoffrey out of her way, waving her hands. "Head back to the main street, we'll have to try another road! C'mon HURRY!"

Her arm was throbbing; she glanced down at it to see most of the blood flow had stopped.

They made it back. Sonic was nowhere in sight, but Sally was stunned to see several of the Stealthbots coming back their way. She cursed. _'He must've gone too fast...they must have lost him!' _

"Quickly, down this way," Lupe's crisp voice rang out, guiding the group down the left side-street; they made it down just barely, the red heat-searching beams of the Stealthbots lighting the ground behind them. A stitch was beginning to pull in Sally's side and she fought to ignore it, drawing in painful breaths of air. Ross looked exhausted and Antoine's hair was so badly mussed over his face that she could barely see his eyes glinting through it. He flipped it away with a toss of his head, revealing his terror-stricken expression. His mouth gaped as he stared down the road.

"M-m-more of zee SWATbots!" He squealed. "Mah Princess, more!"

She followed his shaking finger's lead, her heart jolting at the sight of another troop coming their way.

"TURN!" She screamed.

_Dear Journal...if I lose anyone's lives today I may be liable to take my own...I can't stand them dying for me._

_They aren't dying for you, you selfish bitch! How dare you think all the rebellion of this world was sparked by you, led by you? A little arrogant, isn't it? _

_I led them into it. I let them go into it. _

_They chose to. They chose to do this. _

_But I gave them the choice._

Her feet skittered upon broken glass as they emerged onto the main street again. Geoffrey had his crossbow readied on his arm, his expression grim. His murky eyes gazed behind them; she didn't need to look to know there were more SWATbots coming that way. From the left, from the right, from behind...and the Stealthbots circling around in front of them again...

Trapped. Trapped. A cage.

_Life is a prison, no matter how many pretty curtains you throw over the bars-_

"He's cagin' us in! He's got us like rats in a trap, Sally-girl!" "Fuck," said Geoffrey.

_'This is so simple. I should've expected it from him.'_

"Keep going straight," she ordered. "Try to avoid the Stealthbot's red beams...that's how they find you."

That plan crumbled before her; Three Stealthbots flew nearly wing-to-wing, those red heat-seeking beams shining down, from one side of the street to the other. No gaps to squeeze through undetected.

And then, hurtling through the curtain of red came Sonic, dancing before the Stealthbots, sticking his tongue out. "Come on, UGLIES!" He taunted. "Come n' get me, slow-mos!"

It seemed they would follow him off again...they turned...but then... two turned back. Sonic raced away with only one of the destructive monsters on his tail. The beams came to Thunderhill first. He tried to squeeze against the wall but the beam caught him anyway and the shots began to rain down again.

"Run, RUN straight!"

"Go, Go!"

Everyone was screaming at once; Sally heard Antoine shrieking: "We are going to die! We are doom-ed! Doom-ed!"

She ducked as a piece of metal from the adjourning building came whistling over her head, sharp-edged and deadly.

The Stealthbots had circled around behind them and were now following, laying a barrage of shots everywhere, hissing to the ground around them, blinding their eyes with light and dust. Sally heard a blast crack down, directly behind her heels, and she was thrown forward by the force of it, scrapping her knees and hands on the ground.

Geoffrey came running to her, but he did not extend a helping hand. He aimed his crossbow upwards, spitting curses and let a bolt fly. She followed it's path as she clambered to her feet, her legs aching. The bolt glanced off the metal, leaving a minute dent. The Stealthbot was not daunted; it circled about to make another pass over them.

"It didn't do anything!"

Bunnie yelled. "Use the Krudoz!"

Rotor and the group had been busy; they had flown the airplane to the Mobian jungle and gathered many of the metal-eating plants, the Krudoz, and they had fashioned water-balloon type bombs, filled with the juice and bits of the corrosive leaves. They were all carrying some of these bombs.

Geoffrey pulled a balloon from his shoulder belt and fastened it to the shaft of the bolt. He faced the oncoming Stealthbot with a grim smile, extending his arm. It came nearer, laying waste to the street before it; Sally shielded her face with one hand as a cloud of dust and metal shards blew over. The bolt flew and lodged itself under the wing, the balloon exploding upon impact, and like a storm of termites over wood, the juice spread, eating through the metal.

The wing disintegrated and the Stealthbot swerved wildly, careening their way. Geoffrey grabbed Sally by the arm and yanked her away. She heard a horrific screech of metal as 'bot collided with the building and her wide eyes looked back to see it lodged into the side of the factory, quivering. Turning to dust.

"WHOOOWEEEE!" cheered Ross. "Awesome shot, Geoffrey!"

He puffed out his chest. "Thanks, mate."

"Don't be cheering yet!" The other Stealthbot was circling for another attack; Sally's hackles went on end. Lasers were firing up to shoot, but they sounded different somehow. She didn't like it.

"Keep going," she ordered, while Geoffrey loaded another bolt, "And scatter, don't run in groups!"

"Take that thing down," she told the skunk, brushing the sweat-sodden hair from her face, "Before it gets a chance to shoot..."

Beyond the oncoming flying bot she could see the troops of SWATbots picking their way through the cluttered streets, marching steadily. They weren't in shooting range yet...but she didn't want to waste any time getting far away from them...

Geoffrey squinted one eye closed, peering along the length of his arm, waiting...waiting...

"NOW!" A voice yelled and Sally jumped. Sonic came to a standstill beside her. Geoffrey, still waiting, shot a harsh curse out the corner of his mouth.

"Next time you want to be annoyin', pincushion, save it for when we aren't in mortal danger, eh?"

"No, I meant it," said Sonic. "Shoot now!"

The skunk hesitated. His eyes squinted further, he moved his arm slightly. A fierce growl rumbled forth and the bolt hurtled. The aim was true, once again beneath the wing it lodged and once again, paper-to-flames, metal turned to ash in the wind.

But he had waited just a second too long. Even as the bot began to careen building-ward, doom-ed, as Antoine would say, it managed to get off a shot. That shot that it had been powering up, the one that Sally thought sounded different...

It WAS different, a different weapon. The blast came from the heaviest cannon upon the Stealthbot, the kind they might use when destroying entire villages.

Sonic grabbed ahold of Geoffrey and Sally's arms, quite roughly, and yanked them forward. Sally glanced backwards, watching the beam, a white-hot lance of light, arc ahead and strike one of the factory walls. Their group running was just coming up to that particular building and Sally's eyes widened in horror as the entire wall began to split and fall away.

"You guys better run faster!" bellowed Geoffrey. Sonic was pulling them alongside the group now and Sally tried to wrench her arm away...his grip was painful. But he wouldn't let up.

"What happened to the other Stealthbot?" She had to yell over the sounds of squealing metal. A window pane, complete with glass, crashed in front of them and Sonic swerved hard to avoid it. A yelp of pain escaped her as her arm was wrenched hard. Geoffrey gave a similar grunt from the other side of Sonic.

"I lost it. But it's still around somewhere...hold on!" Sonic leapt over a long panel of metal plating, carrying them into the air with him. Sally's ankle twisted as they hit the ground and she fell. Sonic hit the ground and rolled ahead of her; Geoffrey was the only one who retained his footing but he was quickly knocked down by a flying piece of debris.

"NO!" Sally crawled to him, but the skunk was already staggering to his feet. The debris had struck his shoulder and left an open gash. He swore.

"I ain't gonna be surprised if someone gets killed-"

A bloodcurdling wail split the air and Sally's hackles quivered on end. Skunk, hedgehog and squirrel began to run again, their eyes seeking out the source of the screaming.

Lupe's voice, strangely distorted from its usual softness, was harshly yelling: "Keep running! Keep running!" Sally spotted her. The wolf had her hand firmly locked around Ross's arm, yanking her along. The girl was distraught, screaming and crying, her hand flaying behind her.

"He needs help! Oh Gods, he needs help!" Ross squealed, trying to fight free from Lupe's grip.

Sally followed the path of Ross's flailing hand and a gasp escaped her. Bernard was lying face-down on the ground, blood spreading out around him...his left arm was gone. He was struggling to lift himself with the arm that remained. "SONIC! Get him! Hurry!"

Sonic went to the injured man, lifting him onto his shoulder. The blood streaked down his back, staining the cobalt fur. His painful moan carried to all ears.

They were beyond the crumbing building now and many had slowed to a slow trot, panting, gasping for air. "We're almost to the beach," said Bunnie.

"We can hide there...under the pipes..." said Sally. Geoffrey moved alongside Sonic, pulling his scarf from his neck and applying it to the stump of Bernard's arm.

"Shit, Sally, he's bleeding real bad..."

"Just keep going!" She burst out, her eyes blurred. "We have to get undercover!"

_Dear Journal...when I saw Bernard's arm, I was terrified. I just knew he wouldn't live to make it back home, back to the safe haven that he left. Why did he have to come? Pride is murder. Honor is murder. I murdered him in a sense, because I fought and inspired that pride in our people. _

_I already know what daddy will say. He will say they chose to come and every living creature has a choice, so I shouldn't feel responsible for their choices. I know he's right...but there are some things you can't choose, and I know this because I cannot choose to feel ok with it, I can't choose not feel this choking guilt. _

_Snively's going to pay for this. In that he'll have no choice. I will kill him or worse, I will lock him into a dark hole and torment him as long as I live. _

"There's the beach..." 

Sally had never been happier to see that wretched horizon-line of poison water and sky.

"I can't run anymore..." Ross's voice was punctuated with wheezing gasps and tears were running down her face. One of her hands was glued to her side.

"Hang in there, it ain't much further..." Bunnie encouraged but the girl's knees buckled and she fell to the ground. Everyone stopped, with Thunderhill snorting in contempt. Sally noticed none of the wolves even looked tired.

"Ah've got ya, girl," Bunnie pulled Ross to her feet and bade the girl to climb upon her back. As Ross latched her arms about the rabbot's neck, Antoine went stiff, the sound of his teeth chattering quite loud.

"Blimey, that guy don't quit, does he?" Geoffrey shook his head. Sonic's quills stood on end and he bent his knees, like a runner about to dash from the starting line, and she imagined he would too. For, pouring in from the side streets ahead, blocking off their path to the beach, came SWATbots. There had to be twenty of them. As one they raised their laser arms, the red slashes of light upon their faces glowing.

"Sonic, no-" Sally began as the hedgehog leapt forward, charging like a kamikaze towards the 'bots, and just as he did, the cloud of dust barely settling, the villagers were drawing back their arms, Krudoz bombs in hand.

"NO, you'll HIT Sonic!" Sally's voice was a shriek but it was too late – the balloons had already been launched.

The hedgehog whipped a glance over his shoulder and ducked. The first line of SWATs vaporized like mist. Sonic skittered a few feet backwards from the rising green cloud, reaching behind into his backpack and withdrawing his own bombs. Sally flung an arm forward. "OK, NOW throw!"

A few stray laser blasts hit the ground before the second line went up in dust. Antoine yelped and jumped back as one singed the toe of his boot. A hard scowl edged his eyebrows and he hurled a bomb, smirking in satisfaction as another SWATbot met its end.

They surged forward, destroying SWATbots before they could get off a shot. Line after line crumbled, disappearing with Snively's dreams of their annihilation. Sally wanted to laugh despite the insaneness of it all. The path to the beach was almost clear and they would be safe under the water refinery pipes. She glanced at her watch. How lovely that Snively's foiled plan would coincide with her little 'surprise'.

But there was one more nightmare in store for them...

Antoine was quite good with the bombs, taking out bot after bot (_must be from all the time down at the Pool, skipping stones, _Sally thought) He hurled three bombs at the last group, exploding them upon their feet. The cloud of green dust rose up, consuming bot legs and torsos like a skin-eating virus, but one torso threw its arm forward. Still droning: "Halt in the name of Snively the Great..." It began shooting.

Sally felt searing heat and a flash of pain as a blast grazed her shoulder. A second later, Sonic was upon her, pulling her down. She could hear Bernard, still slung haphazardly over the hedgehog's shoulder, moaning into her ear. She turned her head away to the sound of Antoine shrieking and stumbling.

The SWATbots had to be programmed by Snively. They had his same vicious tenacity. Trying to fight even if it was futile, trying to take everyone else down with him. It happened in an instant, and yet her eyes saw it slowed, frame-by-frame. Tragedy did so love to burn itself into the memory.

This blast sang out; it sought to slay the woman Sally held in as high a regard as her father. It hurled forward like one of the wolves' javelins and buried itself right above the somber blue eyes of Chieftain Lupe.

Everyone screamed at once – that's how it seemed to Sally – it seemed the whole world cried out No, OH NO, OH NO! NO! NO NO NO! Lupe sank to her knees gracefully, slow-motion, before crumbling to the ground.

Thunderhill, his face void of the usual bravado, openly scared and shocked, ran to her and pressed a hand to her neck. "She's breathing." He picked her up gently, cradling her limp body. "Keep breathing, Lupe, c'mon girl, keep-"

"Let's go," said Sonic. "Stealthbot is coming this way."

Sally couldn't breathe. She couldn't hear; vision was an underwater blur. Sonic grabbed her arm, guiding her along.

Under the pipes, with the view of the smoking Death Egg in the distance, Sally drifted back into her body, blinking her eyes, beholding the wounded. The bandage around Bernard's arm was soaked red and dripping onto the dark sand. Bunnie was fussing over a whimpering Antoine. His leg had been struck. To Sally's relief, though the wound was deep and ugly, it was not life-threatening. The rabbot wound cloth around to keep it as clean as possible. Sally's shoulder twanged painfully and she put a hand there. A strip of fur had been burnt away and the skin underneath was scorched and blistering.

"We're missing two people," one of the villagers noted.

"Caddy's dead," another villager uttered, flatly. "And Rosham panicked and ran down an alleyway."

"Are you sure he's dead?" demanded Geoffrey, his voice tense. Sally remembered Caddy, a young goat eager to fight for Knothole. Geoffrey had been training him.

"A Stealthbot got him." The villager shivered. "It blew his head off."

"Oh fuck."

Sally's head bowed; too heavy to hold upright.

"We shouldn't have come."

* * *

Elation was the pill he choked on, a feeling so foreign he had to wash it down with something familiar. Disappointment. 

Two orbs, side by side, one SpyEye and one Holographic Projector, floated along the path of the wreckage. Snively saw the decapitated Freedom fighter, he saw a severed arm. He saw fire and oil and spatters of blood and searching SWATbots.

He did not see Julian. He looked for a trail of maggots or a scrap of red cloth. Maybe even one of those black eyeballs rolling around. "Perhaps he crawled into one of the alleys," snickered the small man, too riled to sit down, pacing.

"But I'll look for him later." Right now, it was time to pay a visit to the bitch who'd resurrected and planned his downfall – it was high time to spit laughter into her pretty little face.

A/N: eyebrow twitch ...Is anyone even reading this?

I didn't think so. XD


	17. Laying Blame

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 17 : Laying Blame

This place is old, it feels just like a beat up truck

I turn the engine but the engine doesn't turn

It smells of cheap wine and cigarettes

This place is always such a mess

Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn

I sail on, I feel just like somebody else

Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same

But somewhere in between these city walls and dying dreams

I think her death it must be killing me.

"One Headlight" – The Wallflowers

* * *

"We got to get back home," said Sonic. "Can't stick around today." 

Geoffrey, his eyes haunted, but his mouth a sneer, retorted: "And miss Snively's big surrender? C'mon man."

"He isn't going to surrender after this!" Sonic yelled, unnecessarily, considering he was only two feet from the skunk. "Why would he surrender when he won the battle?!"

Sally dug her nails into the throbbing burn wound. It hurt so bad that she saw white flashes. But her mind cleared. "Sonic. You're going to have to take Lupe and Bernard, you'll have to get them to Dr Quack as fast as you can."

"I...I can't carry them both."

She stared wildly back and forth between wolf and dog, the head wound and the missing arm. What was worse? What was more life-threatening? She couldn't decide, she wasn't a doctor. She didn't know...a wild thought came to her...of roboticization, turning their bodies into a prison but saving their life...

"Uncle Chuck," she said. "He knows medicine."

Sonic nodded fiercely. "He can handle Bernard...but I don't think he could help Lupe..."

She turned, eyes stabbing through Geoffrey, burning him more severely than a laser blast was capable, "Take Bernard and get to Uncle Chuck. You have to hurry...and don't make any unnecessary stops. Geoffrey, understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

She watched grimly as the skunk scooped Bernard onto his shoulder. The dog's eyes were wide-open, vacant. Geoffrey cast a cautious look outwards, and then, without a goodbye, fled from their safe haven.

"Ah hope they make it ok," Bunnie's voice was hushed. Ross was huddled beside the rabbot, staring at Lupe. Her lower lip was trembling so hard Sally thought it might fall off. "It's a regular war zone out there, sugah."

"I know..." The squirrel bit her own lip, blinking. "Sonic...you should go now. While the coast seems clear..."

Thunderhill, still cradling the Chieftain, running his hands over her Mohawk, seemed reluctant to part from his wolven queen. His gruff voice was shaking. "You be careful with her, hedgehog, or you'll suffer even worse than her..." Those eyes, gleaming dangerously, suddenly darted away, staring at something outside. Sally felt a sick prickle in her stomach...

SWATbots again? Geoffrey, saying it was too late for Bernard? What? What?

She turned...

There was a silvery orb floating outside the pipes and it entered. Everyone froze. The orb twirled around, revealing a glass dome on the side and from this dome light began to glow and stream outwards, dazzling their eyes until an image began to appear. A holograph.

He came to them, stepping towards in the ethereal white haze, like some fallen angel or avenging ghost. That skin, blinding white, phantoms strands of hair ghosting his head, and the eyes as empty and cold as the Artic Ocean, as deep as sinking down into the trenches, down beyond all life and love...but light...light there was in a lantern-fish, shining from the depths. Just enough light to show the horrors of the darkness around.

"Greetings, Freedom Fighters..." Snively's voice was alight with mirth, tilting his head at them. His lips pouted as he looked at Sonic, who was tense, his quills quivering, murder on his face. "It sounded like you were having so much fun...but it doesn't look like it. Hmmm? It's always fun until someone..." His eyes darted to Lupe and the lips twisted into a sneer. "Gets hurt."

Sally charged forward, whipping her arm through the holograph. "Why did you do this, Snively?! Why'd you have to do this!? You sick bastard!"

The image reformed. The holographic man was laughing, arms crossed over his chest. He shook his head disapprovingly. "Did you think this was a game?"

She stood, trembling, tears rising hot in her eyes. She thought her skin would bubble away from the intense heat within. She couldn't contain such anger.

"Did you think this was a game?" he repeated, sneering softly.

In the distance, shocking as a sudden thunderclap, came a series of loud explosions and then the sound of something very large crashing to the ground. The earth trembled under their feet and the Freedom Fighters shot frightened glances to each other. The holograph trembled and Snively's eyes had gone wide; he was looking off to the side, perhaps observing the monitors in the Command Center.

Sally finally found the willpower to sneer. Daring him.

Then he looked back, white teeth exposed in a snarl. His eyes were glaciers to sink her ships of Hope. Not that any remained, afire they were, burning and descending down to the trenches.

"I never liked that fucking statue, anyway."

"Give it up, Snootly! You don't have a freaking chance! You think we're going to stop?! You think this is gonna bring us down!?" Sonic waved a hands towards Lupe. "FOR HER, we'll KEEP fighting you!"

A hard frown was marring Bunnie's face. "Why are ya'll taking the same path as Robotnik? Why are ya throwing your life away?" She was always trying to be understanding. She was always advocating for redemption.

Sally didn't think he could ever change, nor did she want him to. She wanted him to stay rotten and sick, so she could feel justified when she took her dagger and drove it into his heart...

Thus, his answer did not surprise her, though it seemed to pain Bunnie. The rabbot didn't know him like Sally did. "Did you think I was just a foot solider, following orders with no choice?" A hideous little snicker escaped him. "I wanted what he wanted...I wanted you to suffer. I enjoyed it." His eyes shot from rabbot to squirrel, burrowing hard into Sally. "This is YOUR punishment for misjudging me, Princess. Your punishment for bringing back the dead!"

Bafflement. "What?"

He continued, oblivious to the confusion on her face. "I don't see him with you. He must be dead already, crawling off like the maggot he is." He spat onto the floor. "I killed him twice now. TWICE NOW."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're crazy!" cried Ross, her face streaked with tears. "You're a lunatic! SHUT UP!" She threw a handful of sand at the holograph and it fizzled. Reforming, it charged right up to Ross, thrusting that sharp nose into her face, the edges of the face blurring as it touched hers.

"Don't worry, little girl, you won't have to hear me much longer." He stepped back, raising a coy hand to his mouth. "There's about 50 SWATbots heading your way right now. I imagine they won't be long."

"Sally." Sonic hissed into her ear. "Do you want me to fight them or...or..."

"Take Lupe," she replied. "Take her now."

"But Sal..."

"Go NOW, Sonic!"

The hedgehog didn't argue. Thunderhill relinquished the body of the Chieftain. Sonic drew forth the Power Ring from his pack and it glowed bright, infusing him with energy. They were thrown backwards in a blast of wind and stinging sand as he raced away. Sally watched him go, squinting her eyes as he disappeared. It felt like a piece of her soul was being ripped away along with him. She whirled back to the snickering holograph.

"Awww...I guess he'll live for a little while longer. Too bad he left you all to die..."

Sally felt something in her...some kind of...illuminating...like light on the verge of breaking through storm clouds. She felt almost like Cu was with her... surging through her veins; that odd feeling of being possessed but willingly so. Power.

_Dear Journal...I think I'm going insane..._

She stepped forward, bringing herself only inches from the holograph. It crackled like static electricity, making her fur stand on end. Snively stared back at her, mouth still twisted and mocking, those horrible frost-bite eyes glittering. If he was really there, she thought she might thrust two fingers forward and jab them into his sockets, blinding those azure lights forever.

_He's already blind._

"Let them go, Snively. Let them go." 

"Why should I?"

"Let them go." She couldn't think of anything else to say. She swelled with her desperation for these people around her. He could kill her, if he would just come out, she would battle to the death with him.

"You brought him here, do you think I could forgive you for that?" Snively scowled, but some of the mocking lines were easing off his face. He looked suddenly vulnerable.

_Dear Journal...I don't know what happened. I kept saying 'let them go,' over and over. Bunnie was looking at me like I was mad and Ross kept crying and crying... I could smell blood, you know, and scorched flesh from my own shoulder, wafting up to me. It's all I could...feel...was death...and how much I would sacrifice to stop Death from getting them. Snively was death at that moment and I couldn't look away from him. _

_He wouldn't look away from me, either, and I felt something so strange. Like we were connected again, but this time he wasn't dominating my mind with his darkness. This time...I was the one casting a shadow upon him and he was skittering backwards, trying to evade it, to gain some distance from me. I thought I could see a bottom to his eyes, and there was black sand and twisted curls of seaweed. More strange...and scary...was the skeletons of ships and bodies... I didn't want to look at those, Journal, because it made me think he was only mortal after all...and he had all the pain and regrets of anyone else. _

_NO. He was just weak and scared! That's why he retreated. Something softened in his face and he hissed. _

_"You'd better run now, precious Sally..." his voice was a snake-hiss, deceiving in its malice. He was letting us go. _

_The next words he spoke were utterly serious, free of any outright threats or boasting. But they were filled with such dripping hate, such scathing contempt, that they could be nothing BUT a threat. "Never try to bring HIM back again, Sally. NEVER." _

_The problem is, I didn't know what he was talking about. _

_"Let's go," said Bunnie. _

_And we left._

_

* * *

_

Two hands pressed into the mattress on either side of her, but Casssar did not awaken until the stereotypical sleeping beauty moment; a pair of lips pressed to hers. She opened her eyes to see Snively leaning over her, a soft smile curving his mouth. He kissed her again before laying by her side, curling warm against her.

"He's gone, Cass. He's dead again."

"I know," she whispered.

"I bet...when I sleep...he won't be there anymore..."

"Let's see..." said Cass, closing her eyes and drifting away.

* * *

"Eat, Sally, please," said Sonic. 

"I have eaten." She stared pointedly at the crust of toast on her plate. "I've eaten."

"That was nothing, Sal, here." He offered half of his chilidog. The meat slipped out of the torn bun and plopped onto the table. She gave him a baleful look.

"Sal, c'mon, you gotta eat, you-"

"Lupe is in a coma. And Dr. Quack doesn't think she's going to come out of it."

"I know...I heard." He ate a bit of chilidog almost tentatively. "But you gotta be positive, Lupe is a tough tough lad-"

"You heard about Bernard too?" Her voice was pure ice.

"Yeah..." Sonic's voice was rapidly losing its confidence. Bernard had died just as Geoffrey had arrived at Chuck's hideout. They had tried to bring him back, but it was too late. Too much blood loss. Ross had burst into tears at the bonfire when Geoffrey came back, weary and blood-splattered, to inform them. No one else had said anything, but thoughts were displayed clearly in eyes. To Sally, they seemed to say she had failed again.

"Then you'll know why I don't feel like sitting here stuffing my face!" She snapped and stood, shoving roughly away from the table.

"Sal, Sal, wait!" He scrabbled after her. "Are you blaming me for this?!"

She whirled around. "No, Sonic, of course not. No."

"You should. I was just as much a part of it as you were."

She stared at him.

"If you're to blame, then I am too."

They were standing sandwiched between an empty table and a table seated with villagers. They were blatantly eavesdropping, waiting for her answer. She felt judged and damned. She deserved it, too.

But she wasn't the only one. Their whole movement had damned them. Their whole ambition. "We all are," she gave a long pointed look to the table, then to Sonic. "We ALL are."

He gazed after her, wringing his hands at his sides as she disappeared out the café door. The villagers behind were starting to babble and he pivoted to face them. "You all shut up. Don't even say ANYTHING about her."

"We weren't," said one.

"We are saying...Snively is to blame. He's the one."

"Yeah," said Sonic. "Yeah." He left without a backwards glance.

* * *

-Bam- Tails' fist jammed into the training dummy. -Bam- Again. Again. His eyes were fierce and his teeth set in a snarl. "Can't let him get away with this." -Bam- "I'll go in there myself and beat him!" 

Nadie sat cross-legged under a nearby tree, large orange eyes watching him. "You are not strong enough."

He stopped punching long enough to glare over at her. "Yeah, what do you know? You could come with me. Use your magic on him."

"I don't have that type of magic."

"He hurt her. Aren't you mad? Aren't you mad at all?!"

"No."

He stared at her, unbelieving.

"Lupe is a wise mother. She is strong. She will live."

He abandoned the dummy. "Wait...you're a healer! Can't you help her?"

"She is beyond my reach...my powers aren't that strong." Her voice was quietly sorrowful and Tails was compelled to throw his arms around her.

"It'll...It'll be ok," he said, only half-believing it.

"Yes, it will."

And suddenly, he didn't feel so angry anymore.

* * *

Tails' anger had subsided, but the anger in the village was on the rise. It ranged from the cold icy hell that was Sally's feelings of internal and external hate, and the reception of the villagers to the Freedom Fighters, a muttered word or cold turned shoulder at their presence – to the volcanic Hades that was Thunderhill's rages at Dr Quack and Sonic's loud outbursts to counteract the villagers. The fire and ice storms surged and swelled until not one soul in Knothole was unaffected by the maelstrom. 

_Dear Journal, everywhere I turn, there is more hate and loudness. More blame. I can't walk anywhere without seeing it. It has never been this bad before. Never before was hope raised that high and never before was it shattered so hard. _

She walked from her hut the morning of the third day to the café and witnessed exactly five accounts of animosity.

1. Geoffrey, whirling to confront a group of villagers (among them those who had denied defacing Sally's hut) "You gotta problem, mate? You wanna take it up with me?" He shoved one of them. They didn't back down; one even raised a garden shovel to the skunk. 

"As a matter of fact, we do!" She had walked by without a comment.

2. A wolf pup snarling at Tails. "Because of YOUR leaders, OURS is hurt! We don't want to play with you – go away!" But another pup had stepped up and cuffed him across the face. 

"Leave him be. Garato Lupe knew the dangers....if she hadn't gone we would be dishonored. Why don't YOU go away?" A scuffle between the pack pups had broken up but Sally had kept walking.

3. A particularly annoying teenager followed her several steps, chanting: "Witch, witch, you should've used your powers. Why didn't you, huh?" 

She turned slowly. "I suggest you back off...or I might be inclined to turn you into a toad!" She leaned into his face. "It would definitely improve your appearance." He had sputtered, broken her gaze and ran off without another word.

4. Ross and another villager were in a row as Sally passed. Ross was weeping. "Why'd you have to go? Think you were some big shots like the Freedom Fighters? They'd still be alive." 

"We just wanted to help..." Ross wept.

"That's what you get, for trying to be a hero, when you're a nobody! You all should've stayed here, like we always did-"

"You guys are cowards!" The crying girl finally had lashed out, startling Sally who was nearly out of earshot. "You would hide here your whole lives! At least Bernard died fighting, instead of cowering under a rock!"

The villager watched, stunned, as Ross stormed off, wiping her eyes. A small smile came to Sally's face...and she didn't know why.

But the fifth was the worst, somehow. The fifth made Sally open her mouth.

As she reached the firepit, she noticed Uncle Chuck had arrived from the city. He was beset by friends of Bernard's (_most of which had stayed behind, so how dare they judge_, she thought disdainfully) and they were yelling at him. The elder hedgehog raised his hands amiably, trying to bow out of the situation but they surrounded him.

"Why didn't you save him?! You're a doctor – a scientist! How come you didn't save him?!"

"He's a robot filth. In league with Robotnik."

"Yeah...we know who you're really spying on... US!"

"Snively's little spy...why don't you go running back to your Furless trash!"

Chuck frowned, but his voice stayed its usual gentle tone. "I tried, friends, but he was already gone...Geoffrey and I tried all we could. I'm sorry."

"You liar! You wanted him to die!" A stick was raised threateningly and Sally charged forward.

"HEY! How DARE you!?" She wrenched the stick away from the man's hand; he grunted in surprise. "How DARE you judge this man, when he has done NOTHING but risk his life to help us?! What do you know? You stay here all day, you do nothing to fight Robotnik, how DARE you criticize?" She threw the stick violently into the firepit.

"How can you trust a robot?"

"He's no different than us...he's a victim of Robotnik. Damn you!" She cried. "He has suffered more than any of you will know!"

"Maybe you're in league with him too, Witch!"

"What's going on?" Sonic's voice popped in like a firecracker, and the blue hedgehog seemed to magically appear by their sides. "Unc?! What are you people talking about? Back off him!"

"They're blaming Charles..." Sally's voice shook with anger. "Blaming him for Bernard."

Every quill on Sonic's back stood rigid; his eyes burned hotter than the embers behind them. "What is wrong with you people...Unc tried to save him!"

"He was already gone," said Chuck, "And as much as I'd like...I can't resurrect people, I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do."

"Maybe it's a good thing he wasn't alive, you would've just dragged him off to be roboticized anyway!"

"Who said that?!" Sonic shoved through the group, finding the culprit and his gloved hand grabbed the man roughly around the throat. "You're gonna regret that, buddy!"

"Sonny, No!" Chuck leapt forward but before he could touch Sonic another hand interjected, a tan hand bearing a royal signet ring. The group gasped and stepped back; Sonic let the man go without a word.

"Your Majesty!" sputtered a villager while the King looked over them disapprovingly.

"What's going on here? And everywhere?" He motioned at the village, frowning heavily. "I wake to nothing but squabbling and childish quarrels...after some of your companions have just died! Is this any way to honor their deaths?! I am ashamed of this behavior!"

"They were blaming Chuck..." Sonic's voice was small and tight. "Said it was his fault Bernard died..."

The King's eyes were daggers as he swept them over the villagers; they flinched. "I think it's high time for a village meeting. Sally, Sonic...get everyone out here. At once."

"Yes Daddy..."

"Right away, Highness..."


	18. Snowfall

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 18 : Snowfall

The birds are calling to me

And all the leaves I've come to love are falling

Ribbons on evergreens, owls that pull them apart

I can hear you singing 'My Funny Valentine'

Oh, you know that breaks my heart

Hold the choirs of winter

The birds are calling to me

And all the leaves I've come to love...

Oh, you know that breaks my heart

Oh, you know that breaks my heart.

"Evergreen" – Faithless

* * *

A fussing muttering crowd was gathered not a half-hour later around the firepit. The King had dragged a table over to stand on and he looked on sternly as all of Knothole was assembled. 

Even Doctor Quack, who had not been far from Lupe the past days, was there. "She's stabilized and in fair condition," he told those who asked. "But there's no way to tell when or...if...she'll wake."

"Do you think she will?"

"I don't know."

"You don't think she will, do you."

"To be honest..." The Doctor averted his eyes to the King, and his voice lowered until Sally could no longer hear from her position. But she knew what he said, she could read his bill.

"No."

Her father was angry, speaking loudly from atop the table, but Sally didn't pay much attention. She caught snippets of his speech. "Behavior unbefitting to the dead..."

Lupe wouldn't wake up... She was lost in sleep forever. Sally wondered if she was dreaming, or if she was simply...nowhere.

"Sir Charles, nor the Freedom Fighters, nor ANYONE is responsible for the deaths that occurred. The only one responsible is the man that attacked them. We all know who that man is."

The crowd muttered. A few faces craned to look at Sally. King Acorn must've seen. He roared out. "Who is that man?"

Nobody answered, not even Sally, who was no longer confident that she didn't deserve those accusing stares. Charles didn't, Sonic didn't, but somehow, she did.

"WHO IS THAT MAN!?"

"Snively," somebody said. It was Tails. Then louder he cried: "Snively! Snively!"

The faces turned from her and more voices added to the chant. It drowned out all thoughts, it made her numb and cold, that damned name. Thrumming through air like the mantra of a dark god.

A god? She could see him, right now, in the back of her eyelids, sparks of light forming his image. He was smiling...he could hear them. And he was so elated to be noticed finally. He basked in the hate.

She should too, then. Lie down and let the villagers trample her, feel their fear and hate and suspicion for her. Indulge. It proved she meant something, that she wasn't insignificant.

_But this isn't how I want to be remembered! _

Something bubbled from her throat but it wasn't his name. It was some kind of horrible cracked laughter and she choked, trying to hold it down...she went crazy...and fled.

Sonic turned and saw her running. He shrugged and as he turned back, he caught Geoffrey's eye. The skunk had seen her too. He gave a half-hearted smile before returning his gaze to the King.

* * *

**From the mind of Mobius's most Way Past Cool Hedgehog, Sonic**

_I'm worried for Sally. _

_She seems like she's losing control. She was always the calm one, ya know, cool and collected. Leader-like. And now she's losing it. _

_Hey, I'm not saying I'm not sad about what happened...I am. I really am. But I know I did all I could. All we can do is fight him._

_Sally takes it and she makes it into a knife and she stabs herself over and over. _

_St. John and me went to her hut later that night, at sundown. The place was so quiet you'd think everyone in the village was dead. The King's orders...Silence over Knothole to honor our fallen. _

_St. John knocked and there was no answer for a few minutes. He was about to knock again when the door opened. Sally's hair was messed-up and she blinked at us, eyes blurry. "...What?" _

_Geoff held out a lit candle to her; we each had one now. Turning my head, I was startled to see the sun had dropped away already. In the dark I could see spots of light around the firepit, moving steadily away. _

_"King Acorn announced a vigil," whispered Geoff. "For anyone who wants to come, down at the pool. And for everyone he says there should be silence over Knothole the rest of today...well tonight, now."_

_"Maybe this'll stop the fighting..." she said, dully, shifting her hair away with the hand holding the candle. I flinched – she wasn't being very careful! I could just see her head going up in flames. _

_We started walking. Geoff and me joined the line of people making their way down to the pool. When I looked back I saw Sally had slowed way down. She was lagging way behind. _

_"Hey Sally, c'mon," I said as quiet as I could. _

_"I don't think I should go." She said. She blew out her candle and disappeared into the darkness. After a few seconds my eyes could see her again._

_"Sal, c'mon, you care about them, don't you?" _

_"Of course I care." Her voice was so angry and sad. "It's just that-"_

_"Those people are stupid-asses," growled St. John. "They want to blame us for this? They don't know shit, mate. Don't you mind them, luv." _

_Amazing, but I was actually agreeing with St. Stink. I nodded vigorously. _

_She came closer and we each put an arm around her shoulder. She was between us and for once I didn't care. I couldn't tell in the dark, but she sounded like maybe she was crying. She sniffed quietly as Geoff struck a match and relit her candle. _

_I felt so bad as we came to the crowd at the pool's edge, but I wasn't feeling bad for the ones we were there for. Bernard, Caddy, the others? Even Lupe was overshadowed in my mind; I felt sick for Sally. I wanted to reach a hand inside her and tear out the things that made her sad and guilty. She doesn't deserve this! _

_I hope that doesn't make me a bad person, to care more for her. I don't think it does. She's my girl. And well...they're already dead, this sounds awful, doesn't it...? They're already dead so nothing else can hurt them. But she's still alive and in a lot of pain. _

_We had never found Caddy's or Rosham's bodies, so all we had were Bernard's ashes. They had been put in a silver box and set upon the big log by the pool, with candles stuck all around. I hoped none of them would fall over and burn down the forest. It was kind of nice, I guess, with all the candlelight shining on the box. I had a weird thought then, like...what will they do if I died? How many people would come...what would they put my remains in? What would they say about me? _

_And would I deserve having those things said...?_

_I hated that thought, it wasn't right. I shouldn't be thinking about being dead. Not when people had died. I should be grateful to still be here. And I was. But I still wondered._

_King Acorn went to the candles and said a few words for Bernard and the others. I didn't really pay attention until Geoffrey moved away from us and stood by the candles. _

_"Bernard died like a Freedom Fighter – fighting." He laid a hand gently on the box. "I honor the bloke." _

_Sally whispered something next to me. I thought maybe she wanted to go say a few words too. But she didn't. _

_I didn't know Bernard or the others very much but I went up and told the crowd that he was a good man and he had died bravely, that, when he_ _was hurt he was worried about other people before himself. There was a lot of crying and sniffling and some more people said stuff, but I started tuning them out. I looked at Sally but she didn't notice. She was staring at the silver box, her eyes all blank and her fists clenched hard on her vest. _

_I nudged her but she ignored me. It wasn't till after the vigil that she said something. Everyone had gone away and Bernard's ashes had been thrown into the wind. I hoped I didn't breathe any of them in, that just seemed gross._

_I walked her home. She went inside without saying anything but as she was shutting the door she looked at me. "He died unnecessarily. They all said he was noble, but he threw his life away. How is that noble?" _

_It stunned me. "But Sally, he was trying to help-"_

___"They all died for nothing. They never should've come. We never should've let them." _

___"Sally, when you gonna get it," I said angrily, "They made their own-"_

___She turned away and the rest of my sentence was spoken to the closed door._

___"-choice."_

___

* * *

_  
Sally stumbled to the bed and flopped onto the softness but she barely felt it. Her entire body felt like she'd been immersed in the Power Ring pool for a very long time...in the winter. All she could hear, numbly, was the sound of blood moving sluggishly through her frozen veins and the loud jarring chirp of a cricket somewhere out in the living room. 

More annoying and insistent than the rusty song of the cricket was a thought. Something that had been said that day nagged her mind. It wasn't what Sonic had just said; she barely remembered that, despite it being minutes ago. And it wasn't the flattering talk of Bernard's bravery at the vigil....it wasn't anything that had been said there.

No, it was something else, something insignificant. Something the speaker had said without thinking of the implications. But she couldn't remember what it was, she only knew that it had been said...and it was important. It was a key.

She'd heard sleeping could solve problems. She rolled over and shoved her head into the pillow, wondering if she might suffocate in her sleep, maybe hoping too. She drifted away, wondering what could, what could, what could be the key?

_

* * *

_Three days fell like leaves and crumbled away into brown flakes, insignificant and colorless. Nobody did much of anything. The silence, though imposed for only the night of the vigil, lasted longer. It began to wane as whispers became mutters and mutters became normally spoken words. On this third day, there was even the occasional yell. 

Tails and Nadie were walking by the pool. It was unusually cold for this time of year – newborn autumn. The leaves were showing signs of turning; an odd orange or red leaf stood out from the green.

Tails looked up to see the skies slate blue and gray, cloudy. The sun managed to find gaps to shine through. It wasn't enough to warm them for swimming, so they strolled.

He found himself looking at Nadie, maybe wanting to hold her hand.

"Should we find the others?" she asked, tossing a wayward braid off her shoulder.

"Nah. Hey...I think the strawberries might be out now!"

"Oooh, where?" She licked her lips and he laughed. Resisting the temptation to tug her along, he led her around the pool to the bare rock of the cliff wall. The foliage was thick and ensnaring; it was why most people didn't venture back here. He found a small path and they ducked vines and hit aside twigs until they came to the strawberry plants.

The green leaves were nestled against the cliff wall, showing unripe berries. Tails whined in disappointment.

"Darn! They don't look good yet....Nadie?" She wasn't near him; he turned to look for her.

She was a ways down the path, tentatively reaching her hand towards the cliff wall. He loped up to her. "Nadie, the strawberries aren't good yet." She didn't seem to acknowledge him, instead, her small gray paw caressed the stone. He frowned.

"Nadie?"

"These rocks...are filled with energy," she said, finally turning orange eyes upon him. "Life energy." She scrutinized him. "Can't you feel it?"

He didn't feel much of anything, except for a mosquito that kept landing on his ear, no matter how many times he flicked it. "Um, no?"

She sighed. "It's quite strong." She stared intently at the rocks, trying to see through them. He put a hand on them too, but he had to disappoint her by shaking his head. It only felt like rock to him.

"Don't worry about it," she said... "A lot of people can't feel the things I do."

"I guess that's why you're a Shaman," he said, pressing his hand harder to the rock and still feeling nothing.

"Yeah." She looked around. "Is there any caves or anything around here?"

"I don't think so..." He felt something then, but not under his hand. On his nose, a drop of something cold. He rolled his eyes upward and gave a yip. "Snow!"

They stared up to see the whirling white flakes coming down, soft and delicate, melting as soon as they touched ground. Nadie pranced away from the wall and around the pool, dancing around on the shores. Tails followed her, laughing at her enthusiasm.

She reached out a hand, giggling. "I've never seen snow before!"

Well of course not, she lived in a desert. "I guess not!" Tails said, but he was enchanted with the falling flakes as well. There was something special about first snowfall.

"It gets cold in the Great Unknown at night," she said, watching a flake melt in her palm, "But it never snows."

There was a whoop of laughter and several of the other children came sprinting down the path, nearly colliding with the prancing Nadie.

"Isn't this neat?!" one of the wolven kids bellowed.

All the children agreed, that yes, it was very neat...

* * *

There were others who didn't feel the same. 

Sally was working alone in the small garden behind her hut, pulling weeds. The snow did not fall upon her nose; her thick hair provided a curtain while she stared down at the ground.

Brown earth, crumpled green weeds. It was unusually cold today, but she hadn't donned her jacket. She allowed the chill air to seep through her fur. The cold killed her....it was too soon for the winter to be creeping in. Too soon for the life that had bloomed in the last few months to be smothered under ice again.

Something white hit the ground. She blinked and it was gone. But then it reappeared and it had brought others. She stared, not breathing, hoping this was an illusion. It was too early for this!

When she snapped her head up, she was dismayed to see it wasn't an illusion. Whirling down against the slate gray skies were the white flakes that marked the end of Summer and the beginning of a long death sleep. She stared up, feeling her eyes flood over. The thought of losing the flowers and leaves and sunlight, and the darkness creeping in earlier and earlier...it was excruciating.

It felt like the very planet had reached up a great hand of earth and rock and backhanded her across the face. She was dizzy from the blow, bowing her head low to the ground, nearly laying upon it. Crumpled like one of the dying weeds.

She spoke to the dirt. "We're trying to save you...we're really trying...."

In response the snow only seemed to fall thicker, melting in her hair. She shivered. To be rejected by Mobius itself was cold...it was emptier than anything she'd ever felt before. Like being thrust into outer space, yes, that was how it was, exactly...and no matter where she looked in that vast space, she couldn't see any stars.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." She curled on the ground, hugging herself. Her voice trailed off and there was silence in the garden. The snow continued to fall; melting into the ground along with her tears.


	19. The God of Scars

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 19 : The God of Scars 

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain

With the world turning circles running 'round my brain

I'm always hoping that you'd end this reign

But it's my destiny to be the King of Pain

I'll always be the King of Pain.

"King of Pain" – The Police

* * *

His boot splashed into a puddle. Footsteps echoed off the metal walls. Snively glanced up, squinting against the drizzling rain. He rarely went outdoors in Robotropolis, not anymore. Now that Robotnik wasn't around to enforce weekly patrols, he didn't even bother to come out and check the factories. 

He was going down this way, towards the water refinery, because it was high time he checked the damages that had been wrought during the Freedom Fighter's failed attack. _Their final attack,_ he thought, with a sneer. They surely would never have the balls to come back NOW.

He snickered aloud. His foot slipped into a puddle, splashing onto his pants. It sent a rush of shivers up his spine, but there was something else...something else made his skin squirm like the worms drowning in water on the street.

Snively had lived a long time with the weight of eyes upon him. Watching, scrutinizing. Malicious, waiting for slip-ups. He knew the weight of those eyes well. He felt them upon him now...

He stopped, feet sunk into the puddle, the drizzling cold upon his head – staring into the darkness of the closest alleyway. Something else shuddered his skin, a thing as equally familiar as the weight of eyes. An intake of breath and a low sinister chuckle. It was oily, somehow, coating the inners of his ears and leaking into his brains, staining permanently.

O gods, he recognized that sound anywhere.

His body went ramrod stiff, his feet were frozen down in the puddle, unable to be lifted even if he could will them to lift. His eyes were wide as eyelids could possibly stretch and it hurt to keep them open like that. But he couldn't turn away or move, or breathe, even. The chuckle was turning to a triumphant booming laugh.

From the alleyway Robotnik emerged. Blood coated him, his mustache had been drenched in it and dried into stiff broom-like bristles, jutting away from his face. Even his teeth, revealed in that hideous wide grin, were dotted with maroon splotches. He reeked of death and decay, but he looked so strong...

"Oh Snively..." he cooed. "Will you ever stop seeing me? Hmmm?" He approached the smaller man and snarled down at him. "No...you won't."

"You're dead," said Snively, his voice squeaking.

"You can't kill me, fool." Robotnik wouldn't stop smiling. His robotic arm was the only thing free of scarlet; it gleamed unusually bright under the cloudy skies. A symbol of his power and cruelty...a fist to break, an arm to swing like a hammer, crushing everyone and everything. Choking, strangling, shattering in deathly blows. "I'm not dead...I never will be."

Snively didn't stare at his uncle's face, instead he looked at his arm. That stupid robotic arm. That stupid fucking arm that had brought about so much pain, so many broken bones and so much mental fear. Every time it moved or aimed a finger threateningly. And the arm itself was an accident. Robotnik didn't roboticize it on purpose. He turned an accident to his advantage, he made a defeat into a tool that would ensure later victories.

Snively imagined the corpse of Robotnik would be so rotted by this time that it wouldn't be able to support the weight of that arm. If the corpse could rise up and stand, the arm would rip away from its weakened support. The metal of that arm would be rusted and dirt-stained; it would be bloody.

The muscles in his slight body unlocked and he lifted one foot. Savagely his lip curled and his eyes blazed. "But you ARE, Julian. YOU ARE DEAD!"

The fat man began to laugh again but Snively ignored it. He moved towards the walking dead; he extended one long white finger. "You're dead." He spoke with little fire...just the flat monotone of announcing a fact. Robotnik's red-clad chest was assaulted by Snively's finger, a hard jabbing poke.

Instantaneous, like bursting a bubble. Robotnik's body exploded in a wafting cloud of dust, blown away immediately by the humid breeze. There was nothing left...not even the robotic arm. Gone into dust, obliterated.

Snively smiled.

* * *

He awoke, his slender body beaded with sweat. The room was intensely cold. He sat up, shivering, clasping his arms around his bare chest. The smile that had ended his dream still arced his lips and he got up quickly and eyed himself in the mirror. So strange...to see that expression displayed so naturally and genuine on his face.

He couldn't decide if he liked the looks of it or not, but the feeling was definitely wonderful. He hugged himself again, trying to hold that feeling in.

It was too cold however, to dawdle much longer at the mirror. He donned clothing and left the room, wandering leisurely down the hallways of his metal realm. His thoughts traveled their own path, delving into the recent dream and focusing on the arm.

The arm hadn't been found...and neither had Robotnik's corpse. The thought irritated Snively; like a bruise on an otherwise perfect peach. He'd wanted to stamp a boot upon the remains and chortle in triumph. Or to at least have proof that Uncle was never coming back.

"I imagine he got blown into miniscule bits of fat," he said aloud, snickering to ease off the faint worry. "He crawled into a sewer and rotted away. Or the bay, perhaps. Maybe the fish are eating him right now."

A techbot rolled past, swiveling its head towards him. He gave it a sneer, speaking jovially, "What are you looking at?"

It rolled off without a response but Snively found it inexplicably funny anyway. He laughed all the way down to the Command Room.

* * *

The large room was filled with a strange combination of cold and warm breezes, each swooping over each other. Casssar was lounging in the throne, slouching with her legs sprawled. He felt the familiar hitch of breath and skip of the heart.

"It was rather chilly in here, so I asked the computer to turn up the heat," she said, gesturing towards the gaping hole on the far wall. The balcony. Half of it had been blown away by the Freedom Fighter's attack and a hole had been blown in the wall. Repair-bots were out now, fixing it; he could hear the sounds of their soldering guns and hammers. A cold breeze was blowing in.

He approached the rope stretched across the balcony's entrance, peeping out. The robots ignored him; he gazed through the twisted metal and onto the streets far below. There was Robotnik's statue, the one Sally had bombed. It had exploded into pieces, littering the streets, blocking off some of them (It had been an enormous statue) One piece, Robotnik's left leg to be exact, had crashed into the main entryway of the Death Egg, preventing anyone from coming in or out. The robots had to take an alternate route to get inside; Snively was not too upset about it. He liked the idea of Robotnik's stupid kicking leg protecting him from intruders.

_Though,_ he mused, _most intruders probably didn't use the front door..._

Turning away, something flashed in the corner of his eye. He pivoted around and took in the scene once more. The skyline of Robotropolis...sprinkled with falling snow! He took a few tentative steps right up to the rope; Cass half-rose out of the throne, perhaps fearing he was trying to jump again.

"Look Cass!" He gestured outside. "It's snowing."

"So it is..." She settled back into the throne, less enchanted than he. "Rather early for that."

He turned back to reaffirm the frozen precipitation was real, and indeed it was. "Yes, and snowfall in Robotropolis is almost as rare as sunlight."

"Why is that?" She wasn't very interested, but he didn't mind.

"The smog, I imagine. The heat of the factory smoke. I never really thought of it."

He gazed down at the broken statue. Ah winter... It wasn't officially here; this snow was just a fluke. He didn't care – the cold air tingled his nerves and skin. He had grown to love this season in a twisted bitter sense. It was mind and soul numbing. It killed the will to care; it froze his conscience into apathy. It was so much easier to kill and hurt when the world was blanketed in white death.

The flakes came thicker and he purred contentedly. Robotnik's corpse would be covered with it. He was dead finally. It was too cold for things to grow and come back. Robotnik's chances were spent and his body rotted away, out of Sally and Cu Chulainne's treacherous reach.

He found himself humming under his breath, a melody come unconsciously to his mind.

Cass perked an ear at him and he tried to think of the words, grinning, he trilled the last bit aloud. The melody was bouncy, irritating, made further so by his rasping unrefined singing voice. "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmasss..."

He shivered, moving away from the gap; the wind was making his ears tingle and his hands ache. Casssar had one eyebrow lifted, her green-olive eyes perplexed. He sat on the arm of the throne, smiling at her. One hand extended and brushed a clump of hair from her eyes. "What's wrong, m'dear?"

"What is Christ-a-mass?"

"Christmas," he said, fluidly. She repeated it, then nodded.

"What is it?"

"Well..." He stretched back against the throne and leaned his head upon hers. "It was an ancient Earth holiday. Way before my time. But it was prominent enough to be mentioned in many of the school's textbooks. It was a religious holiday, quite sacred to the believers."

"Do you believe in this religion?" she asked, reaching a hand up to play with a strand of his hair. The edge of his crown was cutting into the side of her head. She listened to him exhale a breathy chuckle.

"No Cass...I'm a man free of such beliefs. What about you? Do you have a religion?" He chuckled again, seemingly finding that funny to imagine.

She shook her head slightly. "I believe that our planet is alive and gives us life. I believe...in the forces of light and life and dark and death. Was there a god in that religion, Christmas?"

"There was. One God, who supposedly created the entire Earth and everything on it. Early books painted him as wrathful and then later books said he was loving. Christmas was the day his son was born to Earth."

"Interesting," she said, and this time, she actually sounded interested.

He nodded. "The son eventually martyred himself. You see, in this religion, there were many different sins, and a human committing a sin could land them in hell-"

"I know the word hell," she said. "A terrible place."

"It's an Overlander word. I imagine it got integrated between Mobians and Overlanders quite early. In this religion, Hell was the place where people committed a sin would go. It was ruled over by a creation of God's who had turned rouge."

"Hmmm."

"So the son of god chose to hand over his life in exchange for people being able to sin and not go to hell. The people would still have to repent for their sin, but they wouldn't be automatically damned. At least...that's how I think it went...we studied ancient religion quite early..." He made a face. "The teacher was a bitch, too."

She cackled. "Be thankful you got to complete school, Cass. My father wouldn't let me go."

"Bah." He yawned. "School was a bother. I would've gladly given it up."

"Did many people believe in this God?" she asked.

"Oh yes. Millions. Billions, I daresay. Some Overlanders still do..."

"I don't believe in gods," she said.

Snively laughed, a cruel jarring sound, as he slid from the arm of the throne. He paced melodramatically before the throne. Casssar sighed. He was going to say something dark and caustic; he was going to rave, she could see it, a light flickering in the depths of his eyes. It was a lighthouse, steering the dark ship out of his mind and into the air.

"I knew a God."

"And who was that?" She toned her voice flat and dull, hoping to sway him from his speech.

He neither noticed, nor cared. "Julian, of course. He was my God. I worshiped him. I sacrificed for him."

"I know, Cast..."

"No, you don't know." His grin cut across his face. "I didn't stay that blind for long. I found out he was false. He thought he was a God, Cass...thought he was all-fucking-mighty."

"But you-"

"Yes...I KILLED him, I killed an immortal powerful God, didn't I? So that must make me a god too!" He giggled madly and whirled to face the window, prancing to the edge, holding his arms out to the snow. "I am a GOD!" he yelled out to the clouds and sky.

"So I am a Goddess?" She pushed at the crown on her head.

"Of course you are..." He turned back, still smiling madly. "You're the Goddess of Darkness...and me, what am I the God of, Cass, what?"

She leaned her head on one hand, frowning, examining him. Those beautiful mad eyes, the nose, the smile. Her eyes alit on his uniform sleeve. His arm was extended outwards, and the sleeve had slipped down his pale little stick-arm. Slid down far enough to show a jagged line where a wound had healed.

"Scars," she said. "The God of Scars."

His eyes widened and he dropped his arm. The madness fled his eyes and his face went pale. Scars – the pain that never healed, the marks on a map of life, reminders of the loss. Happy things never left such marks...

But she trounced his thoughts. "The God of looking at scars that have healed enough for life to go on...but dwelling on them anyway..."

"I don't want to be the God of that," he hissed.

"Nevertheless, you are."

"I am NOT!" His rage, like his Uncle's, came like a flashflood; he took two steps towards her with his hand upraised for a blow. She sat back passively, daring him with her eyes. He growled through his teeth, leaning his body over hers, his nose inches away. "Then you're the Goddess of that, Cass. Hypocrite. Dweller. Scarred...." His hand twisted into her hair. "I wonder how many marks YOU have under this fur coat of yours."

She echoed his earlier growl, but with more ferocity, jerking her head away from his grip. Black strands were left in his clenched hand. "I do not dwell."

"Oh. Oh really?" Her eyes were growing feral, but he didn't care – he wanted to push her, punish her for mentioning scars. "You certainly talk about ole daddy enough."

"I remember him. I do not dwell on him."

Hatefully he hissed, twisting her hair again. "That's not what it sounded like the other day – when you were dreaming, Cass..." Suddenly his voice shifted, turning to a child's. "No daddy, no!"

She pushed him off, viciously, knocking him to the floor. "Be silent!"

Sprawled on the floor, he hugged his arms to himself, but it was all a pretense of fear; his voice mocked on: "Daddy noooo! Sounded suspiciously like dwelling to me, Cass! Hypocrite!"

Her chest heaved, she stood, the phantom lights of magic encircling her fingers. Fair warning. "Be silent, Snively, NOW!"

He was on his feet in one smooth motion, one hand to his belt, drawing his pistol – the weapon of choice her mother had used for suicide- and aimed it directly at her. It was enough to set her trembling in rage and panic. He knew she hated guns. He knew it. He knew it! It was the ultimate slap in the face. "Then this," he waggled the pistol, "Shouldn't bother you ONE bit, Cass."

Oh, but it did. A spell was heaved like a dagger, ripping the gun from his hand. Scattered pieces of the weapon clattered to the ground twenty feet away; Snively let out a screech and clutched his hand to his chest. She tossed her head savagely, unconsciously licking her lips as blood streaked down the front of his uniform.

"OW, Cass, OW!" He whimpered, panic in his eyes. "You crazy bitch!"

She said nothing; she stepped down from the throne, but her feet did not touch the ground. She levitated, a glow haloing her fur.

He backed away, afraid dearly now. "Cass, STOP! I didn't mean-"

His fear did not appease. Another burst of power came from her and he threw his arms up in useless defense. It struck, staggering him backwards. Those arms went rigid at his sides, his wounded hand leaking onto the floor, his eyes wide.

"Never," she snarled, "Never speak to me like that again!"

He was starting to tremble, a moan coming from his mouth and sweat beading on his brow. Under the skin, it felt as if bones had snapped, as if his veins were circulating acid instead of blood. He tried to move, but he was frozen.

"OH...Oh...God...Cassss, STOP!"

Funny, he was talking about those silly gods now as if he really believed in them. She smirked, flicking a finger – his body jolted again.

"Why should I?" she stepped towards him, taking his pale cheeks in her hands, caressing her tongue across his trembling lips. His pain was pushing her back from the edge. She could breathe again. "You were so very rude, Black Flower..."

Another plea was muffled by her kiss, deep and aggressive, her hand roaming over his chest, down to his hand, where she clenched the bloody appendage in hers. "Do you apologize?" she whispered.

The word came out in a long agonized moan. "Yessssssss."

A smile curved her lips and instantly, the magic was gone, leaving him shivering, collapsing in her arms. She kissed the top of his head. He spoke muffled into her chest. "...damn you...I'm NOT a god of scars...I'm not!"

She clenched his hand – the God of Bleeding Wounds? – in hers. The dagger of magic had cut to the bone. His blood was warm and thick, seeping into her fur. Gingerly, she fed magic into the wound, the healing variety this time. It was always awkward for her. Anger and pain were always a rich energy source to draw magic from, but love? Nurturing?

But she did find them...

She found them because of him.

* * *

A/N: Yay, so people are reading! I'm glad to know that! :D 

Heh yeah. Hope people didn't get offended by the religious thingy in here. If you did...uh... too bad. And stuff. XD


	20. Realization in Ashes

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 20 : Realization in Ashes

I want it all to go away

I want to be alone...

Sympathies wasted on my hollow shell

I feel there's nothing left to fight for... No reason for a cause

And I can't hear your voice

And I can't feel you near.

"Lost" – Sarah McLachlan

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"I love tomato sandwiches, don't you?"

"Yuck! I'd rather have chilidogs!"

Under the autumn sky, free of snow, Doctor Quack was taking his lunch. Tails and his now near-constant companion, Nadie, were sitting opposite him on one of the wooden tables. The leaves above were a rich gold and crimson, rustling slightly in a warm breeze. The snow five days ago was a memory in most people's minds; a fluke indeed. Most were enjoying the blissful days of summers end. The previous atrocities and death were no longer casting a long shadow overhead. But there was still a dark cloud here and there. Dr. Quack imagined there always would be. It was his profession, after all. To stave off death. It was always a lingering shadow in the back of his mind.

Like the warm breeze, the children were a breath of fresh air. They seemed to know worrying was not helpful. They still cared, but they knew dwelling on horrible outcomes or what could happen was exhausting and moot. Quack felt like, when he was around them, he could regain some of that youthful optimism.

"I've never had a tomato before," said Nadie. "What's it like?"

The duck smiled and pulled one of the thick red slices from his sandwich. "Have a taste – if you don't mind the nibble in it."

She took the slice and sniffed it delicately before taking a bite. She wrinkled her nose, a bit of the juice running down her chin.

"Gross, ain't it?" said Tails.

She swallowed and cleaned the juice off with a swipe of her paw. "No...it's different. I'm not sure if I like it or not."

"Not," said Tails.

"Bah," said Quack. "I think Sonic's chilidog sauce has numbed your taste buds, lad."

"I think I like it," said Nadie. She seemed to be in deep concentration, furrowing her brow as she stuffed the rest of the tomato into her mouth and chewed slowly, exploring the flavor. She nodded. "Yes, I do think I like it."

"Very good!" The duck clapped. "There may be hope for one of you, at least."

Tails stuck out his tongue and Nadie laughed.

A few minutes later, Bunnie and Antoine joined the table. They had been out for a walk in the woods and Bunnie had a leaf stuck behind her ear. She was carrying a bouquet of picked flowers. Nadie admired them while Quack unwrapped another sandwich.

"Good day, Monsieur Quack," greeted Antoine and the doctor nodded, his mouth full of food.

"We..." Bunnie cast a tentative look at Nadie, her voice faltering. "We picked these flowers for Lupe. How is she doing?"

Tails seemed suddenly interested in looking anywhere but at the wolf; he stared intently at the sandwich in front of Quack. But Nadie seemed unperturbed.

"Her condition is unchanged." Quack squinted up into the swaying leaves. "But every visit and every kind act..." he nodded towards the flowers, "may bring her a step closer to recovery. Comas are still quite mysterious. We still don't know what exactly brings people out of them. But I hold faith that the spoken word and touch can help..."

"Guide the spirit," said Nadie.

Quack cast her a surprised look.

"Her spirit is detached from her body. A great injury can do that, and it can take a long time to find...a way into the body again."

"My goodness..." Quack scratched at his head. "That's an intriguing outlook on the subject. Most intriguing..."

"I can feel her." The young cub gazed in the direction of the infirmary, her eyes going cloudy. "I can feel her hovering around her body. I don't know if she can hear me. I don't know if I can...make her hear me..."

The group was staring at her, enraptured, disturbed.

"I'll encourage everyone to visit her," said Quack, finally. "We'll let her know that we miss her....maybe she'll find a way back then."

A smile spread across Nadie's face. "Thank you."

"No thanks needed, kiddo. I don't think anyone will mind doing it at all."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ya'll should've heard that kid. She's a real Shaman in the makin'." Bunnie placed the vase of wildflowers by Lupe's bedside.

"Find her way home..." Sally, who had been in the room when Bunnie arrived, mused. "Maybe she doesn't want to."

"Want to what?" The rabbot placed her organic head on Lupe's forehead, tenderly brushing away a stray hair. She traced one finger down the wolf's cheek, smiling sadly. "Such a purty gal...she looks so peaceful."

"Want to come back."

Bunnie looked up, frowning. "What are ya'll talkin' about, Sally-girl? Why wouldn't she want to come back?"

"The flowers are all dead...and it's cold...so cold..."

"It's 60 degrees out," the rabbot replied, looking thoroughly baffled. "Sally, are y'all alraight?"

The squirrel took Lupe's hand in hers, but it was a strangely aloof gesture, lacking its usual warmth and care. Her gaze was equally remote, searching the woman's face. "Why should she return to this place? What's her incentive? There isn't any incentive."

"There's us. We care for her..." Bunnie's confused expression was fading into pain. "We care for her...we LOVE her." She reached across the wolf's prone form, touching her hand to Sally's shoulder. "Ya'll know that, right?"

The squirrel jerked away so violently that she nearly lost her footing. "Love...love doesn't matter..." She turned and fled the infirmary. Bunnie sputtered after her, her eyes horrified.

"Oh mah stars..." She knelt down by the Chieftain's bed and rested her head on the mattress, her heart twisting like a wet wrung towel, dripping blood. "What's happenin' to you, Sally..."

The spirit of Lupe hovered overhead...sad and alone.

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Sally was not in the mood for Geoffrey St. John. She had run down to the pool, hoping to find it abandoned so she could rage at Cu, complain of the horrors of the world to the only ear that would listen and not judge. She sorely needed an impartial party at the moment.

The muddy shore was barren, the log unoccupied, but he was there. Perched on a rock near the tangle of bushes that led to Cu's sanctuary, skipping stones across the still water. She slowed to a walk upon seeing him, frustration nearly making her eyes water. Swiftly, she turned to leave, but it was too late. He'd seen her.

"'Ey Luv! Down for a swim?"

"It's 60 degrees out," she retorted dully.

"Is it now..." He chucked another rock. "I'm glad it's cooling off. In the summer, I just want to unzip this pelt..." He ran one hand vainly through his shock of white headfur.

"I hate winter."

"Since when?"

"Since forever."

"Remember last year when we went sledding on the big hill? That was fun." Geoffrey's eyes glinted as he recalled the incident. "Heh, yeah. And I bowled over Sonic. He was at the bottom, not paying any attention, and I ran him over." He laughed heartily.

Sally did not. "You could've killed him."

"Oh, whatever would we do without our hero..."

When she didn't reply to his scathing remark, he hopped down from the rock and came closer. "He's worried about you."

She stared across at the swaying fern. She wanted to hide in their graceful leaves, crawl underneath the bows and sleep. Sleep forever, maybe. Away from all worry.

"That's not my problem. I didn't ask him to worry."

"You don't have to ask. We do it because we-"

"Care," she growled. "Yeah. I know. You all care so much."

He took off his beret and pushed his hair back from his eyes. Those murky blues, now free of the dangling white headfur, bored into her, searched her depths. She didn't even try to shield herself from him, because she just didn't have the strength. "You're not the same person anymore, Sally."

"You know what they say...people change." She shrugged half-heartedly. She should be horribly wounded from his words, denying them, arguing that she was still the same strong spirited girl she had been...but it felt so false. Maybe she had never been that girl at all. Perhaps it had all been a desperate front.

"It's not that sort of change. It's like someone else has moved into your mind and they're telling you all sorts of nasty lies."

She blinked. It was the most surprised gesture she could manage.

"What you need..." he put a hand on her shoulder. It felt incredibly heavy. "Is a nice long soak, luv. Cleanse all them nasty thoughts from your mind...get back to yourself again." And he gestured, wide and sweeping, towards the power ring pool...

And the cliff...

She stared at him. She stared and stared, so long and so invasively that he finally said: "What?" His tone was completely innocent but she was filled with wild suspicion.

"I promise I won't watch," he said, with a wink.

"I don't think a bath is going to do anything," she finally uttered.

"Maybe you should talk to someone."

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" She sneered. "It isn't helping very much."

He shrugged. "I don't mean me. Someone you can...trust."

"I can't trust you?" She stared hard at him.

"I don't mean it like that..." He frowned. "Someone you can...feel perfectly comfortable around. You know."

"And just who..." She stepped closer to him, her tone icy. "Are you referring to?"

He smiled. "That ain't my decision, babe. Whoever you feel is the right one..."

With that vague, smirky-smiled statement, the skunk strode past her and out of sight along the path to the village.

Her desire to see Cu had vanished. It was replaced with the want to see another. No, not just see. To confront another.

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King Acorn was enjoying the pleasures of a leisurely day. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt in the warm breeze day, and was armed with a watering can. The flowers outside his hut were quite thirsty.

Sally stood ten feet from him for several minutes without him noticing. He looked so peaceful and content. She was about to shatter that.

"I can't believe you told him. How could you tell him?"

"Hmmm?" Her father turned. The sprinkling water from the rusty can splashed upon the stones leading up to his door. She was aware of how dry her mouth was; it was utterly hard to swallow.

"What is it, do you trust Geoffrey, and not Sonic? I think if Geoffrey can know, then Sonic should too!"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about." He moved closer to the hut to water a bright purple flower. She was surprised the snow earlier in the week hadn't killed all of the flora. Some of them were dead, though, she noticed. Soon they all would be.

She crossed her arms across her chest, snarling. "I think you do!"

"I'm quite sure I don't." He gave her a hard cutting look. "I don't appreciate that tone, young lady."

"I don't appreciate you telling Geoffrey! I think I'll go tell Sonic about it, right now!" She whirled away and stormed away from his hut, but a hand closed around her arm, pulling her back.

"If you are talking about the Source, then you certainly are not, young lady!"

She turned back, wresting her arm away. "Not sure what I'm talking about, huh?"

His brow was furrowed. "Sally, I assure you, I haven't told Geoffrey anything. Where do you get this notion?"

"Because he KNOWS. He keeps implying, like he's soooo clever, that he knows. How else could he know?"

"I think..." The King set down the can on the grass and put both hands on her shoulders, his tone softening, as if about to tell her something private. "In your...state...you might be...perceiving things differently than they are."

"My state?" She laughed harshly. "Seems I'm in some state I don't know about, but supposedly everyone else does."

"You need to snap out of this, Sally. It isn't healthy. Your friends are worried about you. I'm worried about you."

She glared, hating him suddenly for all his care and concern. What use were those petty emotions in the vast hatred and cold of the world? Love was a light to lead...she used to believe that (she wanted to believe it, and the want itself was a cause for rage) But now the light was burnt out.

"Save your worry for someone else." She was tired suddenly. She didn't want to argue anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She slept.

She woke up, and laid still, and fell asleep again. And when she woke a second time, she was weary from sleeping all day. But still, she kept her head down, and slept again.

When she woke the third time, it was night, and she had missed dinner. It didn't matter, because she wasn't hungry. Odd...since she hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch.

_'I wonder if I never eat again, will I just wither away? Maybe my body will stop giving me signals and I won't even know until it's too late...'_

She stared up at the ceiling. Shadows from the leaves outside were dancing there. They blurred out of focus, doubling, tripling.

_'Too late? Maybe it's too long overdue. If I had died on a mission...then I wouldn't be around to feel this.' _

Feel what?

Nothing.

Exactly.

Who knew feeling nothing could hurt so much.

But then, any absence of something caused yearning, didn't it? The blind wished for sight, the deaf wished for sound, the sick wished for health. And the person who felt nothing...they wished for some scrap of feeling. Caring, anger, love – anything to feel real and alive.

'_There's nothing worse,'_ she decided, _'then to feel dead when you're still alive.' _

She turned her head, looking away towards her wardrobe, where she had carelessly thrown her boots and vest onto the floor. NICOLE was strapped to one boot – Sally felt strangely unconcerned with how she'd just tossed the computer-friend onto the floor – and the other boot had once housed her trusty dagger. Not anymore. She'd thrown it into the pool the day after killing Robotnik.

_'How foolish. The knife didn't do it. I did it.' _

The knife...it had possessed a polished wooden handle and a blade of sharp glimmering metal. It was a beautiful weapon. And deadly – how easily it had sliced through Robotnik's flesh. She remembered quite vividly, a time when she had accidentally sliced her finger. It slid in cleanly, and she had gasped, knowing instantly by that odd numb feeling that she had been cut. The blood had welled up and ran down her arm...

So sharp, that knife had been. She closed one hand around her sheet, imagining the handle. She wanted to hold the knife. Maybe she should swim down into the cold waters and retrieve it.

She imagined the sand at the bottom of the pool. It was white. So white...no, it was changing into something else. It was an expanse of white arm, and the contrast was so high that she couldn't tell if it was covered in skin or fur. A voice whispered; it pointed her towards the former. It was soft, vulnerable, in a way she'd never heard before. The point of a razor was denting in the skin and the red that came forth was almost neon in its intensity.

"Why...why can't I just do it?" the voice whispered, cracked and desperate. HIS voice.

In her normal state, she might have said: "Because you're strong."

Tonight, she muttered: "Because you're weak."

It would take a very strong person indeed to take up a blade, to carve a path on their arm, letting the veins flow free. So very strong one would have to be to take up a knife and fall upon it, heart-first. She felt bitter amusement. Perhaps it wasn't strong at all. It took the strongest person of all to keep trudging through life.

Maybe she was weak then. Totally pathetic. Weak.

Smart? Wasn't it a fool who put themselves through unnecessary pain?

If she had that knife in her hand right now she could plunge it deep into her breast and bleed out her heart. Then she wouldn't have to think about this anymore. Maybe that path really was the smartest. When life fled the veins, the brain died...there was no more pain, no more thinking, no more worry. No more anything.

_'Bliss,'_ she thought, and not seconds later, she felt a twisting in her gut and her face mimicked the feeling. Her lips twisted and her face crumpled...she felt tears rising hot in her eyes. The emotion was so strong she had to clasp her hands to herself, shoving her face into the pillow to muffle cracked sobbing.

She rolled over, staring up at the ceiling again. The tears ran down her face and wet the pillow beneath her but her face had regained its blankness. She tried to sort out her thoughts. She took them, and placed them in numbered piles, and she examined them, trying to pretend they were merely oddities to study, unrelated to her. So it wouldn't hurt so much.

Thought Number 1: I want to die.

That thought made sense. She was guilty, ashamed, she was tired and worn, she was sick, she was alone, she was caught up in lies, she was under suspicions, she was fighting a battle that she could not win. Perfectly fine reasons for wanting to die.

Thought Number 2, or rather, emotion Number 2: The feeling of anguish that came paired with thought Number 1. Why did wanting to die bring such a powerful rush of pain to her soul?

She tried to analyze this, very coldly. Picking it apart like vultures on a corpse. The feeling of wanting to die was rational, given the circumstances. Therefore, the emotion that tried to counter it was irrational. She should ignore it. It was her body's reaction to her mind. Of course her body didn't want to die. It was keeping her alive even as she pondered death; pumping blood through her veins, beating her heart, bringing air into her lungs.

She held her breath then, held it long enough that stars flashed in her eyes but her body didn't cooperate. It forced her to exhale and then inhale raggedly, desperate. Her body was a formidable opponent and so she would need a formidable weapon.

The knife...the beautiful knife at the bottom of the power ring pool.

She stood up and glided to the door. Part of her was lead-footed and tried to hold back, but she tried to pretend she was in a daze, a trance that would float her all the way to the pool, where she would dreamily arise from the water with the knife. She would take the knife, with no fear, and cut long snaking trails up her arms, so deep there would be no chance for turning back.

But she wasn't in a trance, she was just tired and desperate, and when she saw Geoffrey lounging by a tree near the trail to the pool, smoking a cigarette, she couldn't bring herself to walk past him. She couldn't stand his questions or his screams when he'd catch her killing herself.

_'Maybe tomorrow night...'_ she thought...as she crawled back into bed and fell into unrefreshing sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She did not go down to retrieve it the next night. The chill had come again and she couldn't face the cold. The morning after, Sonic knocked on her door and demanded she join him for breakfast.

So, she found herself at Bunnie's kitchen table. Sonic was to her left, Geoffrey to her right, Antoine across the table, and Bunnie was making the food. Everyone seemed excited to consume Bunnie's tantalizing berry pancakes, but Sally could not work up the enthusiasm. The sweet smell made her stomach curl in hunger.

"Those look mighty good," praised Geoffrey as Bunnie came around with the steaming pan, plopping pancakes onto their plates. Sally protested as two of the thick cakes fell onto hers. "That's too many, Bunnie, I can't-"

"Aw, Sally-girl, ya'll look like a twig. They'll do ya good, now eat 'em or ya'll gonna hurt mah feelings!"

The princess managed a weak smile and reached for the syrup.

Forks clinked. The first few bites were taken and the air was filled with the sounds of 'mmmms' and other noises of approval. Bunnie smiled as she took her seat. "Ya'll are too kind...these cakes are a snap ta make!"

"Maybe," Geoffrey said, a rather large piece on the verge of sliding off his fork, "But nobody makes 'em quite like you."

"If only I could be convincing her to be making zee French dishes," said Antoine. "She would be making excellent Crepe Suzettes, I am thinking."

"That French stuff is too delicate and flimsy for me." Geoffrey snorted. "I want real food."

"I'm betting Bunnie could make a mean chili dog sauce."

"Mean...surely you mean 'cruel'?" Antoine laughed in contempt. "It is cruel to zee palate indeed!"

"Didn't know you were an artist, Ant."

"Palate means zee appetite, fuel!"

"Whatever." Sonic shrugged. He had already wolfed down his three cakes and was looking around for more. Sally was still working on her first.

"Speaking of food..." Bunnie addressed Sally, watching the Princess cut off a small piece of pancake and gingerly eat it, "With this cold spell coming on, we figured we'd better get an early start on the rationing."

"Yeah." Geoffrey took a sip of his coffee. "Might be havin' an early winter, the way things are going. We were gonna go out fishing today, so we can start the drying and smoking."

"Already..." Sally swirled a piece of pancake in a pool of syrup. She stared down as if entranced. "But we don't normally start for another month or so..."

"Don't wanna be caught out in the cold, do we?"

"No...I suppose not." Sally sighed and set down her fork. She was not looking forward to winter food. Dried fish and meats, preserved jars of vegetables and fruits. No berries, no fresh greens...no freshness.

"You're coming with us, right?" Bunnie didn't state it like a question. Sally felt trapped by their stares and smiles. They wanted her to go. She felt a snappish remark welling up; she knew they were still worried for her...and it was irritating. But she was too tired...too...uncaring.

"Yeah. I guess."

"Great." Sonic put an arm around her. "We're glad."

"As long as I don't have to bait the hooks." Her flat attempt at humor normally would not have drawn laughter, but today they roared. She bowed her head in humiliation at the false sound of it.

Maybe she would go fishing somewhere else...someplace like the Power Ring pool...

The knife would be less painful than the sound of her friend's empathy.

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The Great River was sloshing against its banks, perhaps enjoying its last weeks of freedom before the ice came and froze it into place. Sally knelt by a low spot on the bank and dipped a hand in. The water was numbing.

They strode along the river until they came to Sonic's favorite casting spot, the wooden bridge that spanned the water. Sonic bounded to the middle and stood upon the railing, peering down at his reflection. He grinned. "We don't even need bait...the fish jump right up to see this handsome face."

Bunnie guffawed and Geoffrey made a retching sound. The skunk set foot on the bridge and Sonic let out a dismayed moan. "Awwww...now you've gone an' scared them away, St. Stink!"

"We'll see who brings home more fish, pincushion!"

"It ain't gonna be Sally," said Bunnie, nodding towards the Princess. The squirrel was staring distractedly down at the rippling water, lost in her own thoughts. "She forgot her pole."

"Yo, Sal!" Sonic called loudly, jolting her from her trance. "You forgot your pole!"

Sally glanced down at her hands. One held the handle of a metal bucket which smelled strongly of fish. They used it to put in the bones and remains after gutting the fish. The other hand held a large reed basket, used to carry the fish home. Bunnie and Antoine also held one; they obviously were planning on catching many today. But Sally had forgotten to grab the most crucial item from her closet.

"I don't know how I forgot..."

The group exchanged looks and Sonic returned to the grassy bank. "I'll go get it for ya, Sal."

"No...it's ok." She shook her head. "I'll get it. Did we forget anything else?"

"Bring some snacks when you come, wouldya. Fishing is hard work." Sonic had zoomed back onto the bridge, propping his pole strategically between the wooden rails. He wouldn't have to touch it until a fish bit.

Sally rolled her eyes. "You must be exhausted already."

"Whew, I am!" Sonic leaned heavily upon the railing, pretending to mop sweat from his forehead.

Sally set down the basket and bucket and headed away. Antoine was calling Sonic a 'fuel' and the hedgehog was replying with a similar insult; everyone was cheery. She couldn't understand how they could be like that...it didn't seem possible. It didn't seem...right.

_'This would be a good time to see Cu...' _

She entered the village and eyed the trail down to the pool. It was probably safe...but she didn't feel like it.

When she entered her hut, there was a terrible stillness. An emptiness. Alone-ness.

_'A house is a shell that reflects its owner,'_ she once heard someone say. The hut merely felt this way because she did? She was in mourning...and the others? Frolicking in the last days of warmth....they weren't. She couldn't stand being in here.

Neither could she stomach their laughter and hollow smiles. They were her friends...she loved them? Maybe it was better for all if she just stayed here alone, silent forever. They could stay in their fantasy world of happiness and she could endure the suffering. Knowledge equates suffering and she had knowledge of the world's cruelty...

"What am I saying?" She spoke aloud, her brow knitting in a violent frown. "They KNOW too! They've seen it too...they all saw Bernard dying...right in front of them! They know how the world is and they still...brush it off!"

_'You used to be like that too...what happened?'_

_'I don't know.' _

Maybe something had broken inside of her. Or maybe it was just the opposite...a wound that was in all people, like blind eyes or deaf ears...something crippling that finally healed and allowed different views of the world in. Bad views. Negative views...scary...horrible...overwhelming visions of reality.

'_Stop it. Just get the pole already. Quit thinking about it.'_

She went to the wooden door of the closet and opened it. Everything was in order. She had an urge to grab everything and hurl it against the walls. She shuffled her feet forward into the closet and reached for the pole in the corner.

Her foot connected with something on the floor. A box of random items, all stacked neatly, came tumbling out as she tripped. Her hand flayed, still reaching for the pole, knocking it over. She fell heavily against the closet's wall.

"Ouch," she moaned. The moan was repeated as something from the top shelf came falling down, hitting her in the head.

"This is not my day..." She cursed, rubbing her head, half expecting to feel blood...somewhat disappointed when she didn't. Through a haze of pain-tears, she stared down at the assaulting item that had fallen in front of her. It was a lovely jewelry box, one given to her by Antoine a few birthday's ago. She reached out, tracing a finger along the ornate patterns carved into the wood.

_There's something about this box...._

A chill rippled down her spine as she remembered. She lifted the lid, her breath held in her lungs. Yes...they were still there. Coating the bottom of the box, a sickly layer of dust and ash.

Robotnik's ashes.

She sniffed. They smelled so horrible. She slammed the lid shut, her heart hammering. She clenched her arms to her chest, her body heaving in a want to vomit. She choked it down. She was holding death in her hands. The dust of evil. They had burnt Robotnik...they had burnt Bernard too. And she hadn't kept any of him...he had just blown away on the wind.

_'We should have buried him...then there would be a place to go to...to remember him. Even when memories fade and wither in the mortal frame, the stone marker would serve as a reminder to all who follow...that a man had died in vain.' _

His life was so futile. He had lived in peace in Mobotropolis and that had been raped away. He had come to a hidden village and stayed hidden for years upon years and then he had finally taken a stand, and he had died for it. He died bleeding in Geoffrey and Chuck's hands and now, because of his foolishness in wanting to accomplish something with his life, he had damned those two men. They were blamed for his death. Bernard's only accomplishment in life had been to bring about more hate.

_'Maybe they should carve that on his marker...if they make a marker...'_ She thought bitterly. She was picturing the crowd surrounding Chuck, yelling at him, throwing things at his metal skin. And his voice, plaintive and non-aggressive: _'And as much as I'd like...I can't resurrect people, I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do.'_

Resurrection? Something clicked in her mind. She had found something. Yes...what was it? It was what had nagged her mind the other night! The key.

It was what Uncle Chuck had said: 'I can't resurrect people.' Why the hell was that thought so important?

She smiled, a mirthless curve of her lips, throwing the box of ashes away from her. It was a key, alright, a key that opened a door to nothing. Resurrection...bringing the dead back to life...but who said they wanted to be brought back? If she died, would she want to come back?

_'Maybe...'_

_'No.' _

_'Life is a curse. It comes to us unwillingly. Nobody asked for this punishment...!' _

_'This is your...'_

Punishment?'

HIS voice was creaking the floorboards of her mind, dusty, silky. A rattlesnake slithering, warning her with a hiss.

_'This is your punishment for bringing back the dead.' _

That's what Snively had said, on that fatal day. She was baffled then, but too wrought to much think about it. It struck her like a hammer now, cracking her skull and making darkness bleed from her ears. Holy Mobius, no. He had meant...

Cu Chulainne could bring people back to the dead. It could resurrect...

She was starting to breathe heavy, her head throbbing, her heart hammering. Her eyes shot wide open and locked on the box of Robotnik-ash. Oh damn yes, that's what Snively had meant.

She heard him saying it, over and over, so accusing, so wrathful, seething the warning: Never try to bring him back again, Sally. NEVER.

She reached out and clamped a hand on the lid of the box, pulling it open again. The smell made her retch. She heard Robotnik's voice, that oily rumble...and Snively's voice...he was making incoherent sounds of fear and pain...there was a sound of feet running and hard fists connecting with flesh...bones breaking... She let out a squeal and clutched one hand to her head. The other hand dug fingers into the mound of Robotnik-ash.

_Oh, sweet...Mobius...somebody help me... _

In her nostrils, the smell came, thick and pungent. Death in its most hideous form...the rotting murdered corpse, crumbling in decay, infested with insects...and he was wrapping his dead flesh-stripped hands around her throat. She was lifted off the ground and strangled so violently, blood vessels in her eyes bursting and her lungs withering in her chest...she heard herself pleading in whispers in a voice that was not her own.

"SAVE ME FROM HIM, PLEASE!"

She wrenched away from the box, throwing herself violently into the corner, where she cowered. She was struck with breathlessness and paralyzed muscles, her mouth moaning in terror. If somebody had entered the closet, she felt she might spring upon them and rip them apart in utter fear; survival instinct taken to the extreme.

Her foot bumped something and it clattered into view before her. A fishing pole. Fishing? Her friends...they were waiting down by the river!

Like warm water from a shower, washing away dirt and tiredness, she felt the fear slide down her body, disappearing into the floorboards below her. It felt so foreign, as if she'd been covered in somebody else's blood and only now was washing the sticky remnants away.

Numbly, she retrieved the box of ash and returned it to the top shelf. She picked up the fishing pole, grasping it tightly in her hand. '_What happened?'_

She had to speak aloud to decipher it. "Snively...he thought I brought Robotnik back to life. Yes. That's why he said that. He was so..." She felt a strange feeling in her gut...it was not an unfamiliar feeling, but never before had it been directed at Snively. "Afraid. He was so utterly afraid."

She felt sympathy for him.

"Why would he think that?! Why? What did I do to put that idea in his head?" She thought back to the previous weeks, but nothing stood out. Something must have set him off, and he had been so angry with her...it was her fault, somehow. "Sweet Mobius...it's my fault AGAIN."

Curled like a fetus in the corner, crying, shivering...knowing the thing you fear most in the world is descending upon you... That's how he'd felt...in a mania...willing to destroy worlds to protect himself.

"But...he's still... EVIL. Shut up, NO, he IS still bad! He should've known I'd never bring back Robotnik. He just wanted to justify his violence..." She tried to shake away the understanding of his terror; why the hell was she trying to pardon him from his horrible actions? Just because he was afraid? He was such a fucking coward! _He should have faced DEATH rather than harm any more people...he should've killed his own self! How dare he punish us for his fears?_

Even these thoughts weren't enough to completely eradicate the compassion that had welled within her.

She exited the closet with a flash of steel in her eyes...the old determined Sally come back for a visit.

_'I will make it go away. The lies will be dead. I will FIX this mistake I've made.'_

There would be a final battle, an end to this war...but this time...it wasn't going to be fought with violence. She had something else in mind...


	21. Maybe

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 21 : Maybe

Recall the deeds as if they're all

Someone else's atrocious stories now

Now you stand reborn before us all; so glad to see you well.

And not to pull your halo down around your neck,

And tug you to the ground...

But I'm more than just a little curious

How you plan to go about making your amends

To the dead.

"The Noose" – A Perfect Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nightfall was the black paint smeared upon the canvas, covering the stark white and hiding the imperfections – smudged fingerprints and stains. Everyone looked beautiful in the dark. Even things with vile memories attached gained a strange elegance in the moonlight.

She, robed in black cotton, and barefooted, stepped past the glistening fish bones scattered near the Great River. The smooth curves and spikes of ivory lay upon the ground, and she thought they looked lovely. She could almost forget the fish they had belonged to; the fish they had dragged to the shore and watched as they flopped helplessly, dying.

This morning seemed a decade ago. She pushed back the hood of her robe. She was safe from the eyes of Knothole's inhabitants now. Onward she went, traveling a familiar path. It led to the dark city. She had rarely gone there without a companion and tonight was no different. She had two, one seen and one unseen. One, the ornate box tucked under her arm...the dead man. And the other, nestled closer to her mind, a blanketing warmth...the entity Cu Chulainne.

-Do you think this is wise, Sally?-

"On the contrary. I think it's quite unwise." She pulled her hood back up; the cold breeze was playing about her ears. "And that's why it might work." She gritted her teeth against the next words. "It's unexpected. Snively might see that I...well...that I have a better...erm...with him."

-Understanding?- Cu supplied. –Compassion? Empathy? You finally have had some glimpse of his pain.-

Sally thought she detected, for the slip of a moment, a hint of criticism in Cu's voice.

_'It's supposed to be impartial.'_ Her hackles bristled on end.

"I don't feel sorry for him."

-Then why do this?-

"It isn't for him. It's for everyone. I could care less about him."

-But you have seen that he suffers-

"SO WHAT?" She yelled aloud, for there was no one around to hear but the night-birds and nocturnal critters. "I don't know why you think that matters, Cu, I really don't! You think, just because Snively has some problems that he's excused from doing whatever he damn well pleases? He isn't! I have problems too, Cu, but do you see me trying to kill people?"

-You are of different constitutions...-

"Don't give me that. Snively knows what he's doing is wrong, and he just doesn't care. I don't get you, sometimes. The guy is evil and yet you still say we should all just pat him on the head and forgive him...Please!"

-You don't intend to harm him tonight.-

Sally didn't say anything. The box was clutched tighter to her side, pressed against her ribs that had begun to show more prominently over the past week. Even now, after skipping supper again, she still didn't feel hungry. She felt hollow. Any sustenance she might consume would just turn to dust inside her, or maybe it would get lost in the emptiness.

-You will allow me to heal him?-

"You even think about that, and I'll leave you in this field." The squirrel halted in her tracks. "Seriously."

-If you do not wish it, then I shall not, Sally.- The entity made a sighing sound. –But it would make things much simpler for you.-

She laughed bitterly. "I don't think so, Cu."

-You will not even entertain the notion?-

"No." It was uttered staunchly, even as her mind comprehended the scenario. A healed Snively, cleansed of all his demons and their ability to spawn more. A good man (which in itself was incomprehensible, Snively being made into a good worthy man?) But Cu claimed it could do it. So, there he would be, a good pure man. She wouldn't be able, not in good conscience, to harm him, even when he undoubtly deserved it.

-I do not seek to pardon him. I only wish to heal him.-

_'I won't have it.'_ She could see the city's spires and towers, pinpointed with light.

No way could she stand that man being given shortcuts. If he truly wanted to change, then he would come to them in repentance, to face his punishment courageously and willingly. He would heal his own self, and then, and only then, might Sally find it fit to call him a decent man. And the chances of that, she scoffed, were still slim.

-I will not go against your wishes.-

_'Good.' _

They did not exchange further words the whole way across the desolate wasteland between the forest and the city. She swore it gained another inch of the forest every day. When she finally reached the outskirts of the city, her boots and lower legs were coated with the gray dust that blanketed the ground. She brushed them off in disgust.

-Now what, Sally?-

"The tricky part." She kept to the shadows, sliding through the side-streets. A shudder rippled through her as she imagined coming upon the Mobians that had died here during the fateful mission. Hadn't one been decapitated? "Getting in."

She approached the citadel. Gazing up, she saw techbots suspended high above the ground, repairing the askew balcony.

"Maybe I'll go right up to the front door." She snickered, because even if she wanted to, it was impossible with the broken stone leg of Robotnik blocking the way. "Your statue isn't looking too good," she told the box of ash. A fit of mad giggles took her by surprise and she muffled them quickly with her hand.

-Keep yourself together.-

She scoffed. She was together. A jigsaw puzzle pieced with superglue. Her pretty picture wasn't falling apart anytime soon.

Another peal of giggles overtook her, distorted by her clasping hand.

-Sally...-

_'Sssh. Look.' _

Opening its petal-like appendages, casting its red eye toward her, came a SpyEye.

"How convenient."

It approached her like a lost puppy, twirling around her in delight. She reached out and stilled it before her face, where it hovered, fixated on her.

She stared deeply into the shining red core, knowing her face would appear on the monitors within the heart of his fortress. The laughter had died within her. The box under her arm felt like it was filled with lead. "Snively," she said, candidly, imploringly. "I'm here to speak to you."

She awaited his response in tense silence, not daring to look away from the camera. She was statue-still for what seemed like an eternity. Cu assured her it had only been three minutes.

She tried again. "I'm not here to fight. I have something important to show you, Snively, something very important."

A voice purred from the speaker on the bottom of the camera. It made Sally's skin tingle and she took in a breath. That woman didn't just have an effect on her lover. She affected everyone with her silky, sensual-without-trying presence. "A dangerous place to take a midnight stroll, Sally."

"Casssar."

"Yes, we know each other's names already," the ermine's voice was lush in amusement. "What do you wish from my Black Flower?"

"To speak to him."

"Are you here to harm him?" The voice had scarcely changed, but there was electricity behind it, a dangerous voltage running below the surface. Sally felt her body lock up; she had no doubts that the ermine's magic could reach this far.

"No."

"And what of Cu Chulainne?"

The squirrel jumped. "How did-"

"You would never come here on such an endeavor without IT."

"You're right," Sally admitted, deciding the best path with Casssar would be complete honesty. "I have brought Cu with me...for protection and nothing more. Neither Cu or I intend to hurt Snively or you."

Sally could picture Casssar, sprawled out in the green throne, her long legs crossed over the chair-arm and her claws nonchalantly picking dirt out of one another. A long silence stretched out.

"Casssar?"

"He's asleep."

"Oh." That was all Sally could utter.

There was another extended period of silence and then Casssar's voice returned, slicing through the dank air. Sally had turned to leave, the box weighing heavier, her thoughts descending into raging criticism. So stupid to think she could come here and...

"Stay where you are. I will come out and get you. Black Flower has agreed to see you."

Faintly, in the background, she thought she heard his hateful voice sneering, "Good...maybe I can KILL her now..."

-Sally. This is not wise.-

'_We've already gone through this. Just...watch my back, alright?' _

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The swishy black tail, crowned with fur of snow white, led Sally down stark metal corridors. Everyway she turned, it was all the same scenery, until she was sure they were lost somewhere in the monolith of the Command Center. Casssar, however, seemed to know where they were going. She turned only once to ensure the Princess was following, her single exposed fang gleaming in the low light and her muted green eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

_Dear Journal, _

_This is psychotic, to think that I was walking there, in the heart of Robotropolis, behind the lover of my enemy...and feeling... kinship with her. Maybe it was because Casssar showed me no malice, only an odd sort of curiosity. She didn't even ask what I wanted to talk about with her beloved ' Black Flower'. What an appropriate name for the bastard. Though I think Rotten Flower might work better. Dead flower, molted petals. _

_I felt like we were both tied up in Snively's dark tangling vines, and from the curve of Casssar's lips and even the way she walked, I could somehow tell that not all was peaceful between the two of them. I could just tell, innately...maybe it's because of my connection with Sonic. I can see things between a couple that other people can't. _

_But the difference between us is that Casssar wants to be there. _

_I was compelled to ask her all sorts of questions. Some of them were straightforward. Like: Why do you love him? _

_And: Do you hate us? _

_But then there were the weird ones like: _

_How does it feel when he kisses you? _

_What kind of things does he whisper in your ear?_

_It was really sick thinking those things. I was hoping Cu wasn't looking into my thoughts and hearing that. I know Cu Chulainne wouldn't care. It would just say I was still affected by Snively from way back when Cu made me fall in love with him (Which still disgusts me to this day!) But I think that's utter crap. There's no way that could still be affecting me. No...there's something else...something deeper than that. I really should ask Cu about it one of these days... _

_But back to what happened, Journal, there I was, pausing beside Casssar's lithe ebony body as she opened the double doors that led to the Command Center. I had only tred those sacred floors a few times and I felt a thrill of fear. I was thinking, my heart hammering very hard, that perhaps tonight the war would end and my world would fall apart._

_Falling apart would be a good thing. Making a mess to clean a mess. Rearranging the pieces into a more cohesive whole and gluing them that way forever. Happiness, finally. I could marry Sonic in this brand new world and tell him of the Source. It would be like opening the windows in the Springtime and letting the dusty stifled air out and the newborn sunshine stream in. _

Casssar stepped over the threshold and beckoned Sally across. But as the squirrel obliged, the ermine's body moved fluidly, bringing them nearly face to face, with Casssar bending one knee to bring her eye level with the Princess. Green and blue orbs locked for a long moment.

"Be careful with him," said Casssar. "He is more sensitive then he seems."

Sally nodded, though she could care less about his feelings.

"Then enter..." The ermine stood aside, falling into step behind Sally as she took a breath and plunged into the heart of enemy territory.

Snively was sprawled out in the throne, clothed in gray pants and a black tanktop. His chin was on the armrest; he hadn't moved since waking up, it seemed, and those luminous eyes followed her movement.

He was perplexing tonight. He looked harmless, cute, innocent even, in that lazy position, and yet his complete nonchalance spoke of a man steeped in confidence. And yet, flickering in the depths of his eyes was anxiety, strangely paired with a pair of lips curved in amusement.

She halted in front of him, thoroughly confused by these mixed messages. Her mouth opened to speak, but no words came.

He lifted his head off the armrest, his long pale fingers flexing. Like a predator aware of a prey. She wondered what type of Mobian he would be. A fox perhaps. Lean and sleek with pearl-gray fur and a keen muzzle. Or a scuttling white cave spider, fangs leaden with the deadliest of venom.

His lips curled from smile to sneer. "Have you come to surrender?"

"You should know by now, that I would never surrender to you."

He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Very well then, what is it? Surely you haven't come knocking to ask me to surrender? Go ahead. I wouldn't mind a good laugh."

She could so easily kill him. Shatter his mocking smile. If Casssar wasn't in the room, Sally knew she could have Snively upon the floor, squealing for his life. All this pretentious smugness and lofty confidence would be spilled out along with his blood. Yeah, she could rip his life out of his chest before he could even let a scream.

"The thought never even entered my mind, Snively."

He leaned his elbow on one of the arm rests, legs still sprawled lazily. Muted light spilled upon his right side. She could see, snaking the pale flesh of his upper arm, an old scar. Faded enough to be merely a white ghost underneath the surface of skin. His eyes, though currently half-lidded in either nonchalance or tiredness, still caught her every scrutiny. He shifted his body onto the other armrest, where the darkness fell; the arm was lost in shadow.

He returned the acute observation, seeing things: the heaviness around her eyes, the way the black robe hugged her figure.

"You're looking rather thin. Haven't been eating lately?" He titled his head. "And just what has been keeping you up nights?" His eyes gleamed and he awaited her defiant anger. But there were no verbal lashes, no fire. She offered only a sullen glare.

"What's this, Sally?" He pouted in disappointment. One skinny hand reached up and scratched at his shoulder. "Don't tell me your previous defiance was just a front."

"No." Her voice was flat. "I'd kill myself before laying down to you."

Some kind of darkness passed over his features and he shifted in the throne. She blinked, and his sudden discomfort was gone. She might have imagined it, for the insufferable sneer was back on his face. "You're good at killing, Sally..."

She stiffened and his sneer deepened. "Oh Sally..." His voice was a rasping whisper, "...We made a lovely team, you and I..."

She stared back at him, feeling her hackles rise....his eyes were locked with hers, and he was leaning forward...

"We brought down Robotnik together..."

Her eyes flitted to Casssar. The ermine was nearly lost in the darkness of the vast room, leaning against the wall near the entrance. Only the flicker of a white-tipped ear gave away her location.

"We killed him together..." his voice was a hiss. His fingers curled on the arm of the throne and his claws, short and blunt as they were, still screeched upon the metal. She cringed. "We should be dear friends, dear dear Sally..."

Casssar's ear had stopped flicking and Sally knew she was watching intently. She felt her breath catch in her lungs. There was a predator in the human's eyes. His tongue brushed out, swiping those pouty lips, whether out of a twisted attraction for her...or merely a want to devour her soul...she couldn't tell. Both, probably.

He was leaning far forward now, looking cat-like, about to pounce and sweep her into his arms. His smile soured into a frown and he leaned back, his breath expelling in contempt. "And then you had to RUIN it."

Her hackles prickled further and one fist clenched. Something...tingled through her. She snorted. "Really. Me? I know why YOU did it."

"Of course you do."

"Why you went crazy, attacked us. I know WHY you did it."

"Crazy is a subjective term..." He shifted so his body was in the dark side of the chair again. "I did it because of you. What YOU did was insane. You deserved to be punished for it....Insane!"

His voice was acid, eating her insides, killing her. So accusing that she could hardly bear it...she wanted to scream to drown him out. She was innocent of these charges! Innocent of bringing Robotnik back...she would never. Never. She had killed him. A crime horrid, but at the same time, a blessing. To bring him back again? She would suffer a thousand deaths first.

She flew towards the throne, her voice rising to a shriek. Casssar took a step forward, light swirling around her fingertips. "You STUPID BASTARD! You're the same PARANOID STUPID LITTLE MAN YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN!" What was that rising in her? Emotion?!

Emotion. She could...feel again. Feel alive again...

He sprang from the throne, coming to meet her, matching fury to fury. His hand assaulted her, grabbing beyond her hood, closing upon a handful of her auburn locks, twisting hard. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she made no sound. "Criticize me?! Even I would never sink as low as you did, Sally! You little bitch!"

She wrenched away from him, shoving him away. Casssar was still standing in the corner, fingers splayed and glowing, but she didn't interfere. She watched, her lip bit between her teeth. Like she knew a blow was coming...a painful blow...and she knew that blow had to be dealt. In order to set a broken bone straight; hurting to heal.

"HERE'S YOUR UNCLE, SNIVELY!!" Sally screamed and pulled forth the box, yanking the top open. The ash billowed out like smoke and Snively's mouth parted in disbelief. "He's DEAD! DEAD, DAMN YOU!" She thrust the box towards him, shoving it into his chest. "We burnt him five days after he died!"

Oh Mobius, yes, she was seething in emotion and the feeling was almost exhilarating. But so painful.

His eyes were wide, and his mouth; he was choking on the ash. His arms slapped furiously before his face. A shriek, halfway between horror and rage, came spitting out. He lashed out, striking the box from her hands, shrieking again as it hit the floor with a horrific clang, spilling its vile contents. "NO!" He lunged for her, locking his hands around her throat and squeezing hard enough to blacken her vision. "You lying filthy WHORE! GODDAMN YOU, NO! YOU FUCKING LYING CUNT!"

She tried to break his hands free; she couldn't. She raised a leg to knee him in the groin; Cu flared inside her, preparing to attack, but neither occurred. An unlikely savior came. Snively was pulled off her, spitting and screaming, struggling to escape the arms of Casssar. Her black hands were clasped around his midriff. His tanktop had ridden up, hanging askew on one shoulder, and his face was filled with the most horrible ire Sally had ever seen.

She felt sick, casting a glance back at the ash. He wasn't speaking now, just making incoherent sounds of bloodlust, still straining to get at her. She whirled back to face him, her own face twisting in anger. "It's TRUE!" She stooped, her hand swiping a handful of the ashen tyrant and throwing it into his face. "Smell it...You can smell his EVIL!" Tears reformed in her eyes...her throat closed and she barely managed the next words, tight and squeezed they were, drowned in anguish. "You KILLED them for nothing, Snively! For NOTHING!"

He stopped straining, panting in Casssar's arms, one hand latched like a claw onto his face, staring through his crooked fingers at the pile of ash. His small body began to tremble and his face drained of wrath and color. "No...you're lying..." He gave a weak struggle and Casssar, sensing his passion gone, released him. He staggered to the ash, sinking weakly before it, thrusting those long digits into it. "It can't be him..."

"Why would I bring him back?!" She cried out, her voice breaking. "Do you think me that cruel...that EVIL!? I would kill myself a million times...I would kill...I would... Why would you even think I would..." Her voice sputtered away and her body sagged.

"No..." he pushed himself around with one hand. The other was covered in the gray death and held shaking to his chest. "No...how dare you come in here and ask for forgiveness... I won't do it...I won't..." She was almost shocked to see his face shining with tears and his eyes reflecting her own pain.

_Dear Journal..._

_I can't be like him...he can't be like me. But we seemed so alike in that moment..._

"I don't want your forgiveness...murderer!" She swiped at her eyes, trying to erase her torment. "How dare you ask for that...when you're unforgiven yourself...?"

He stood up, walking at her like a man drunk. But his eyes were clear burning blue flames. "I've seen my blood on these floors...a thousand times. And what about you?! How much have you bled for your cause? How dare YOU judge ME unworthy?" He was right before her now, staring straight into her soul. "And how dare you think...that...that...my pain means nothing..."

Yes, she'd thought that. Many times. But it wasn't right to feel sympathy for him. He deserved it all. For what he'd done. She knew that, and yet those eyes, that pale face etched with agony...it made her heart bleed. Dear holy Mobius, how HURT both of them were! But he still...

Deserved it...

Because he'd brought it on himself. Because he hadn't protested. Because he had laid down and given himself over. Because he hadn't died a thousand deaths to stop one atrocity. Because he...

"You didn't have to." Her hand closed about his wrist, but not for consolation. Her claws dug in, drawing blood. She wanted him to feel it. "You opened your veins all on your own."

He whimpered, a broken sound, his voice scarcely a whisper. "You don't know what he did to me...you don't fucking have a clue...don't you fucking judge me..."

"Robotnik hurt us all.' The tears were cooling on her cheeks and she felt a strange calm. Maybe it was the empty spot inside being filled. "None of us did what you did."

"It isn't nearly the same!" he wailed. "What he did to you pales in comparison to what he-"

"How dare you think that our pain means nothing." She quoted him quietly. My gods, but she was close to him now, so very near she could smell his breath (strangely, a scent of cloves) and he could smell hers – it ruffled the supple curving lashes around those shining depths of blue.

Casssar's face was grim. She stepped forward like a referee. But there was no fight to break up, only a pair of faces a lips-breadth away. Her black hand jutted between them and they both moved back, startled.

"Cu is with her," said Casssar, but somehow Sally doubted that was why Casssar interfered. Those eyes seemed to be positively glowing green.

"Oh really..." Snively stepped forward again, despite the hard frown on the ermine's face, thrusting his nose into hers. Sally made no effort to move away. "Trying to get close so It can try to 'fix' me again? Eh?"

"You know how I feel about that. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve anything."

He bit his lip pensively, eyes of blue blinking. The face of a hurt child. "Such harsh words from the esteemed princess." Papercut words, small, but stinging. "If only your friends knew what you're really like..."

"Cu knows," said Casssar, her expression sour as Snively's long-fingered hand brushed a lock of thick auburn hair from the Princess's brow. Still, the squirrel did not move, but her lip curled slightly, revealing a sliver of sharp tooth. One hand knotted into a fist.

"Cu knows, but it doesn't judge," the ermine continued, sarcasm coating her words. "It supposedly doesn't judge. It supposedly knows Good from Bad. If there is such a thing."

"I imagine it sees all the sick things inside of dear dear Sally..." Snively cooed softly. Her eyes now free of the falling locks, Snively could peer deep into them, seeking out all her dark thoughts and fleeting violent fantasies.

"Whatever wrong I've done..." her voice shook slightly. "You've done a thousand more and a thousand times over."

_Dear Journal_

_Maybe I'm not a good person after all. _

He turned away from her and approached the pile of ash. "There's a phrase. Once a criminal, always a criminal." His gaze flickered to her. "Once a thief, always a thief." He crouched down over the ash, his skinny legs folded and his arms resting on them. "Once a liar..." One finger was poked into the ash. He shivered. "How do I know you're not lying about –this-, Sally?"

"I told you, I would never bring him-"

"You could have gotten this from anywhere."

Her calm was starting to deteriorate. "Test it then, if you don't believe me!"

He grabbed up two handfuls and stood, letting them sift through his fingers as he pivoted to face her. The gray billowed up around his ankles. "Once a liar..." he said grimly. "First you tell me you're bringing him back and that I'm to die."

"I never said that-"

"And now you come to me and say that was a joke."

"What the hell are you-"

"You're not a very nice person, Sally, not at all...to play with my mind like that..."

"I never said I was bringing him back," she growled. "Your own sad delusional mind dredged that up."

He tilted his head, smiling madly. "Once a killer...always a killer. Don't be so quick to judge when you have blood on your hands too..."

_Can evil be measured by intent or action? Well, I've done both now...I really am...evil._

She stepped away from him and his condemning eyes, those teeth gleaming. Her back hit something furred; Casssar. The ermine and her magic-bearing hands...

"No, I didn't want to do that!" She howled. "YOU FORCED ME TO! I AM NOT A MURDERER!"

_I didn't intend to kill. The action was evil, the intent was not...evil can not be measured by mere action. _

"That makes you even worse, Snively, EVEN WORSE! That was like...it was like..." She sputtered, clasping one hand to her throbbing temple. "It was like r...rape!"

He jolted back as if slapped. His face, already so white, went even paler. He looked like a corpse. A corpse on the verge of puking as well. His eyes were frantic, but he wasn't looking at her...he was looking at Casssar. The ermine was shaking her head slightly.

Sally glanced back and forth between them. Snively set his jaw, frowning hard, but the ghosts in his eyes betrayed him. She had shaken him up badly with that last comment...and she was...

Dismayed. Pleased. Pleased but dismayed. The ashes were scattered forlornly upon the floor, a peace-offering ruined.

"I think you should leave now," the human said, each word strained.

"I came here to make peace. But that's impossible, isn't it."

Snively met her eyes one last time before turning away. "Maybe..."

_Maybe? That's cryptic..._

Casssar's hand grabbed Sally by the wrist and led her away. Sally could scarcely breathe the entire journey to the outskirts of the city. Once there, on the threshold of the wasteland, with the Great Forest rustling in the distance, the ermine finally spoke. Sally braced herself for a fight.

Casssar was not interested in fighting. "I'm not sure what the outcome will be," she said quietly. "But I am glad he will know that his uncle is truly dead. It will help him in the end."

Sally was doubtful of that. "I didn't come to help him..."

"I know." The ermine tilted her head, a slight smile on her face. "But perhaps you did, unknowingly."

"...Perhaps..."

----

She returned to the village before sunrise. After returning Cu Chulainne to its cave, she retired to her hut with the morning sun on her face. She fell into a deep sleep at a time when others were waking from theirs.

This sleep, for reasons she could not fathom, seeing how she had failed her mission yet again, lacked the desperate need to escape reality. It was merely sleep for the sake of refreshment of body and mind, and when she awoke, many hours later...

She felt peaceful.

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**From the mind of a Queen, Casssar.**

"_Are you going to test it?" I asked, though I didn't think it was necessary. I could feel, dipping a toe into the pile of ash, that it had come from a living thing. It had blackened bones and a blackened heart and a contempt for flesh...I could sense it. _

_"What, you believe her?" My Castdecass cried out. He was curled up in the throne. _

_"Yes." _

_"She's malicious," he hissed, sliding from the throne, pacing the ash in wide circles. "She always has been..."_

_"I would agree that she does not like you, Cast." He was circling closer, his eyes lighted on the ash. "But she wouldn't endanger her own people by bringing him back. He IS and WAS always dead. Just like I told you." _

_"Sounds like you're on her side. Did you have a little chitchat with her when you left? A little bonding perhaps?" _

_"Don't be foolish."_

_He slid onto his knees in front of the pile, taking up handfuls of it, staring down hard. He was trying to feel the essence of his uncle. "She could have gotten this from anywhere." _

_"Smell it." _

_He smelled it. _

_"It smells like death, Cast." _

_He dropped his hands, the ash rising like smoke to shroud his face. He stood abruptly, distancing himself from it, looking sick. "It does..." he croaked. "It really is him..." _

_I moved towards him, taking his dusty hands in mine. "He is gone forever, Black Flower. You are free of him." _

_"Is that our happy thought of the day?" He sneered, bitter. _

_"He is dead, what more do you want?" Sometimes his attitude grew so tiresome. I knew he had suffered and still did, but to forever indulge in the pain? It was maddening to a woman who had also been in the pits of hell and now wanted to enjoy her freedom....to be in the light. To share love. _

_He growled savagely, evading my eyes (but not my touch, which I was glad for). My reprimands peeved him often, because he knew I was right! _

_"I want..." He sighed and buried his face into my breast. One hand rubbed his upper arm, a finger traced an old wound. "The scars gone. Him out of my head...and dreams." _

_"You are still dreaming of him? I thought that stopped." _

_"They aren't constant anymore..." he mummered. "But they still happen." _

_"They will go away," I assured him. I thought it was better if I didn't tell him my dreams of my father, though not constant, had not gone away. Too deeply scarred into the soul, he was. There was no purging, no erasing...no forgetting. _

_He grunted. He didn't believe it. He could tell my comforts were untrue this time. "They'll go away," he mocked, pulling away from me. "Oh, I imagine they will...when I do." _

_Oh, my Cast! He said that with such despair, such bitter anger. I wanted to slap him. Then embrace him. He was stark-white, with ash smeared on his face, and his crown askew. A little ghost child. His eyes had lost their wild sheen and passion. They were flat. Corpse-eyes. They thrust me back in time..._

_"Mommy," I whispered. _

_Mommy was on the floor, curled like a baby. Her mouth was bleeding. An end table was turned over and was pinning her tail. But she didn't push it off. She didn't talk or move. She only laid there and breathed. In and out she breathed. _

_I was glad to see her breathing. _

_Daddy had left a while ago, bellowing that self-satisfied laugh. I don't think there is a sound I hate more. _

_Mommy would usually get up and tend to me or the house. Sometimes she would sleep. Back then, I thought it was bravery. Now I see it was a cycle of apathetic acceptance, a harem slave pretending this was all a lush exotic fairytale. _

_And bravery and stupidity often intermingle so closely as to be called the same thing. So bravery, acceptance, stupidity, weakness – they all kept my mother pinned to floor, chained to the house, stitched to the man. I thought about this much when I left. I wondered why she had never run away. When I remembered this day, with her curled on the floor, it was easy to see why she had never fought back. Her eyes said why. _

_"Mommy," I whispered, laying down beside her, mimicking her posture. "Mommy, can you get up? Are you alright?" _

_No response. None. So I tried selfishness. "Mommy, I'm hungry. Please get up!" _

_I moved closer to her, intently eyeing her face, touching her hand. That's when I saw her eyes. A shudder hit, hard enough to take breath away. They were blank, glazed – eyes of the dead when the body is empty of its vital contents – the soul, the mind, and the heart. _

_But she wasn't among the dead, she had only taken their eyes. I knew even at that young age that this was a terrible horrifying thing. The body was supposed to die and the soul live on. But with Mommy, the soul had died and the body lived. It was a reversal that was not supposed to occur. _

_It was too late for her. I vowed on that day that it would never be too late for me. _

_Snively's eyes were like hers, but it wasn't too late for him. He could be revived. I was not a weak child anymore. I could beat him back to life. I could take stars and rip the twinkle from them, and force the sparkle into his corpse-eyes. _

_"Snively," I said, abandoning monikers to catch his attention. He startled and looked at me. "Don't go down that hole. There isn't a bottom. There's nothing down there for you...it's a place that...living people aren't supposed to go..." _

_A smile spread across his face, no, it wiggled like a maggot. Crawling and sick. "But Cass...I'm not a living person." Again with the mocking. But I was not rebuked. Mocking was a form of attack or defense. It was a fight nonetheless, and dead souls like my mother had never even fought that much. _

_"Cast," I purred, "Haven't we learned by now that the dead can be brought back to life?" _

_He turned and regarded the ash for a long long time. Harshly, he brushed it off his hands and wiped his face free of it with his shirt. "You're right. He won't drag me down with him. Not when I've come this far along." _

_He faced me again. His hand closed on mine. The grip was warm and firm. His lips...as he rose on his toes to reach me...were giving and I took from them. Bliss. _

_His eyes were beautiful again. He whispered. "Not when I've gained this much..."_


	22. A Talk With Cu

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 22 : A Talk with Cu

We believe we can change ourselves,

the past can be undone

but we carry on our backs the burdens time always reveals

in the lonely light of morning

in the wound that would not heal

it's the bitter taste of losing everything

I held so dear

Though I've tried, I've fallen.

"Fallen" – Sarah Mclachlan

* * *

"It's good to see you eating again." Sonic stood on the pool's edge, skipping stones. Sally was perched on the log, watching the foliage sway across the water. The forest was alight in the fiery hues of autumn. Scarlet, gold, copper and brown had overpowered the green. They would be gathering nuts and berries soon; harvesting the crops before winter. On the breeze she could smell fish smoking. 

She nodded absently. Sonic had been quietly elated to see her consuming normal portions of food again. She hadn't kept that sense of peace for long. It faded like the brilliance of a firework. But some traces still flickered in her vision. She was glad of one thing – she felt alive again. It had a dangerous sense of being temporary, like any wrong motion would slip her back into the hole again.

_'I want to be on stable ground again,'_ she wished sadly, watching Sonic stoop to pick up another stone. He flashed his cocky smile before sending the rock skipping across the water. It traversed the pool, disappearing into the bushes along the cliff. Beyond that stone wall was the secret that she kept from him.

_'The secret that's ruining our relationship.'_

He smiled at her.

_'No. You're ruining it.' _

_'It is. If I could just tell him, he'd understand everything that's happened. It wouldn't be lies upon lies. There shouldn't be lies between us.' _

_'Truth omitted isn't a lie.' _

_'It's still wrong.' _

_'Find a way around it.' _

_'Why should I?'_ Her thoughts were tinged with her old ferocity. She hopped off the log.

"I'll see you later, Sonic. I need to go do something."

* * *

The setting and characters were the same, but the dialogue and tone had changed. King Acorn, watering can in hand, was out in his garden. The flowers would all be dead soon, but the veggies would hold on longer, and they needed the can's attention. Rain had been scarce. 

He turned his head, humming under his breath, to see Sally striding towards him. It was a scene of déjà vu with one exception. Her face was not filled with wrath today.

"Daddy, I'd like to talk."

"Of course, my dear. What about?"

"Our favorite topic," she replied, with a slight frown. "The Source."

He sighed. "If this is concerning Sonic again, then you already know my answer. It hasn't changed."

"Don't you trust him?"

"It isn't an issue of trust." He looked about, lowering his voice. "It's of security. If word of the Source got out, if anyone and everyone was bathing in it...gaining knowledge...muddling it up... The consequences could be dire, you see. The news could spread far away to enemy ears. They could contaminate it, use it power. Snively might hear of it and recover his memory of Knothole."

"Cu wiped his memory."

"He could recall the Source tributary that led him here. It wiped his memory of Knothole alone."

"He wouldn't remember it being outside the cave," she said stubbornly. "Cu has powers. It could maybe...I don't know...bind Sonic to secrecy."

She had to stifle a laugh. The idea of Sonic keeping anyone's dirty little secret was amusing. He was bound to let something slip, not intentionally, but it would come out just the same. Still...Cu could make it impossible for him to even utter a word of it. Maybe his vocal cords would freeze up.

But King Acorn shook his head.

"Oh why not?" She raised her voice in frustration.

"It's not reliable."

"You're doubting Cu's powers?"

"I wouldn't say doubting. I just don't want to leave room for any mishaps."

She sighed loudly. "I can't win, I swear."

"I'm sorry, Sally, but this is a serious issue. Some things have to be scarified for the greater good."

"Yeah," she grunted, "Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before. I know that one. But Sonic...he...well...I don't want to lie to him."

He sprinkled water on a patch of carrots. "Dear, it isn't lying."

"It isn't telling the truth either." Sullenly, she crossed her arms over her chest, turning her gaze away from him.

"I'm sorry. Maybe someday things will be different."

This answer was not agreeable. The clichéd phrase of appeasement, of instilling some pathetic hope, of trying to lull a person into pacification by promising (but NEVER guaranteeing) their desires at a later point.

Sally Acorn was never one to be appeased so easily. But some battles required time and patience. A slow steady assault to wear down the wall. She would wait then.

"Fine," she said.

He nodded and moved to water a crop of tomatoes. She followed him. "But I do want to know one thing, honestly this time. I deserve to know."

"What is that?"

"Why did you tell Geoffrey?"

He glanced at her, thick regal brows frowning. "I believe we discussed this. I did not inform Geoffrey, in any way, shape or form, of the Source. I swear to you, Sally, that I did not."

He did not take oaths lightly.

"Well, then," she stammered, taken aback. "Hoe does he know? Because he does know!"

He set down the watering can. "Considering recent conversations with him, I believe you're right."

She gasped. "He talked about it?"

"Not outright. Not at all, actually. Odd little hints...meaningful looks. Not enough for me to accuse him, but enough for me to know that he has knowledge. I didn't want to tell you, because I knew you'd think I had told him." The King's blue eyes were troubled. "So...being that you believed I told him, I know he didn't learn it from you."

"Of course not," she said indignantly. "And nobody saw me go in, I was careful."

"Nobody saw me either."

"Then how does he know?" They eyed each other, perplexed.

"Maybe he regained his memories..."

"I told you, that's impossible!" Sally frowned.

The King shook his head. "I know you are close to Cu, but it can make mistakes, Sally. It isn't perfect."

Her frown deepened. "Well, why don't we go ask Cu then?"

"Very well."

* * *

Chieftain Lupe was one of the most gorgeous females Sally had encountered. The wolf maiden lay still in her bed, eyes closed. Around her forehead a white bandage was wrapped; Sally feared she would have another scar to match the one on her cheek. 

But what was her beauty worth now...when she was dead to the world? She was merely a work of art, a waxen figure. Soft plush fur of mourning-dove gray, hair of coal strands, streaked with silver. Her perfect body – immobile. The expressive eyes of robin-egg blue – hidden away. But Sally knew she would not see anything of worth in those eyes now. The most important part of this beautiful figurine had been lost.

"What did that child say about her?" She asked quietly to Bunnie. The rabbot was arranging a sprig of freshly-plucked flowers.

"Nadie?" Bunnie said the name with warm affection. Sally could not share that. She did not have the same fondness for the child. The feelings, the hair that prickled on the back of her neck when around the girl...they weren't from dislike. It was discomfort. Fear. For the intuitive girl and her secret-seeing eyes.

_'Dangerous around a liar like me.'_ Sally's thoughts flashed bitter.

"She said Lupe's spirit was...lost and couldn't find its way home," Bunnie spoke tentatively. Sally remembered what had happened the last time they were alone with Lupe. She had coldly left Bunnie, she had spoken hurtful words. She still wasn't sure if she'd meant them or not.

"Maybe ya'll are right." Bunnie stopped fussing with the flowers, staring down at the vase. "Maybe she doesn't want ta come back."

"No," said Sally, though not immediately. She scrutinized her friend closely, her stomach clenched like a fist. Now that her dark clouds had blown over she was seeing shafts of light on the obvious. Her friends were in pain too. But was Bunnie falling further, going into the darkness Sally had just left?

Bunnie had never shown her depressions outwardly. But then...neither had Sally.

"Lupe isn't like that. It was stupid of me to say that."

"Ah know," said Bunnie, and she looked up, a half-smile quirking her lips. "Ah jest wanted ta see what ya would say."

She had been played. Sally frowned. "I'm fine now. Don't worry about me."

"Ya'll had us worried, Sally-girl. We were worried ya'll were thinkin' crazy thangs."

One slip into darkness. It was going to haunt her forever. Were her friends, from this point on, going to treat her as they never had – like she was a fragile thing too delicate to be handled? Were they going to curb criticism that before they would freely give? She couldn't stand the thought.

"I'm sorry, but really Bunnie, I'm alright now. Please don't treat me any differently."

"Ah treat ya'll how ya need to be treated." Bunnie's hand of flesh rose, unconsciously, to her robotic arm. "An' nothin' more than that. Nothin' fake, sugah."

A prickly sense of relief...Bunnie understood. But the others might not.

"Thank you for that...that means a lot." She said. She heard footsteps and turned to see Tails and Nadie, with her father behind them. He was ushering them forward.

"Go go, children...say hello to Lupe," he said warmly, throwing a smile. "And then I suppose it will be your bedtime."

Neither child objected. They offered a handful of flowers each to Bunnie, who arranged them in an empty vase.

"Her favorite flower is one that only grows in the desert," said Nadie solemnly. "It's a beautiful blue, almost like her eyes." She rested a small paw on the Chieftain's larger one. "But she would love these too."

King Acorn touched Sally's arm. She looked over. One of his eyebrows rose, his eyes sidled to Nadie and Tails. They were recounting the days events to the still body.

At this time of night, most people would be around the fire pit. The only people at the pool would be the children, sneaking one more dip before bedtime...and no two children enjoyed the pool more than Nadie and Tails. They were in the clear.

They left with a parting nod to Bunnie. The pool was deserted, but they both stood still on the path to the cliff, silent, listening for several minutes before feeling safe to continue.

Inside the cave, Cu Chulainne was there – constant and serene as always. No matter how charged up or furious she might be, the presence of Cu made her feel lightweight, somehow drained of animosity.

--Greetings, Max and Sally.--

"Hi."

"Good evening, Cu."

--You are feeling better now, Sally.--

"Yes."

--That is good. I believed our last excursion was a failure, but I see it is not entirely so.--

"Uh yes," said the princess quickly, aghast that Cu would mention this, "it certainly wasn't."

"What excursion?" questioned the king, eyeballing the ball of light. Seconds later, Sally felt the weight of his eyes on her.

"The excursion...into the..." She fumbled for words, feverishly searching out something for help. She stared at the glowing Source pool. That was it! "Into the Source! I came to bathe in it a few nights ago and it really helped."

He frowned, locking her in that stare – the one that could make even a hardened liar confess to his wrongdoings.

"Cu didn't know if it would help or not, RIGHT CU?" She said forcefully. She directed her thoughts towards the entity. _'Say YES, Cu. I don't need to be at odds with my father right now!'_

--That is right.-- The light-ball finally responded, after weighing the consequences of telling a lie. It must've decided Sally's well-being was more important. The squirrel maiden sighed under her breath, relieved.

"It does have amazing properties. And a great power. Which is why word of it can't get out-"

"Yeah," she interrupted. "I know."

--Is there a problem? The both of you rarely come in together.—

"There is," confirmed the King. "We believe another person knows of the Source."

The light glowed brighter. –The young one? She has a power of sense. She can feel me through the walls.—

"Nadie?" asked Sally, with an involuntary shiver.

--I do not know her name. Only that she is young and very bright.—

"It's Nadie. She's a young Shaman. What does she know, exactly?"

-I do not think she knows anything. She can only sense that there is power here. That is all. She does not know of the Source, I am certain.—

"Whew."

The King nodded. "That's a relief. But we aren't speaking of her. There's another."

"Geoffrey. We think he knows."

--I have wiped his memory. –

"Does that always work?"

--It always has.—

"There's no...loopholes?"

--I can erase any memory I choose. It will not prevent future memories from being stored, but any memories he retained during the erasing are gone.—

"So, if he were to see the Source again, he could remember it?"

--Yes.—

"Well, has he?"

--He has not been here.—

"Are you sure?"

--I would know. I am sure.—

"But he knows."

-How do you know this?-

"He's said it. Not in so many words, but enough that we know he knows."

-Perhaps he is intuitive. Perhaps he can sense me.-

Sally laughed. "No way! Geoffrey doesn't have...that sort of thing. He's just a...a common man!"

"If he senses you, wouldn't you be aware?" asked the king. "You sense Nadie, why not Geoffrey?"

--It is true that I can sense the life-force of many. How shall I explain? It is like sounds. The loudest ones impose upon you, demand attention, while the softer ones can be overlooked. Some beings are very loud in my sight, others are just a whisper. He is there, but he is overshadowed.-

"Can you just focus on him?"

The entity dimmed, then flickered back to full brightness. –He does seem to have some knowledge. I know of him because he bathed in the Source. He lost his knowledge of this place when I took his memories. But somehow, he has gained some back.—

King Acorn looked stricken. "The villagers...will they regain their memories?"

-No.-

"How are you so sure?!" cried the king.

-They will not. The skunk has a special sense. The others do not. Not even Nadie has the sense he has. But Geoffrey is not the type to tell everyone. He will obey your command if you order him to silence.—

The king pondered. "You're right. He would."

"I wonder why..." Sally mused on Geoffrey's 'sense'. She opened her mouth to voice the question she'd meant to ask Cu before – _'What about Snively and I? Do we have a connection?'_

But King Acorn was there. He didn't know about all the things between she and Snively. She preferred it that way. That was one secret she didn't even want to divulge to Sonic.

-I do not know. But there is no danger from him. That I can sense.-

"Thank you, Cu," said King Acorn. "I will tell Geoffrey, indirectly, to keep quiet."

"Indirectly is good," agreed Sally. Just in case Geoffrey didn't know.

But she knew he did. It was the matter of HOW though. She knew it would nag her mind like an unreachable persistent itch.

"That will be all," concluded the King in his ever-formal manner, giving a slight bow to the entity. "Goodnight, Cu." He was nearly to the door when he realized Sally was not with him. She was still standing at the Source's edge.

"Are you coming, Sally?"

"Yeah, but I-"

_'Would like a word with Cu. To ask it about Snively. But I already know what it will say. It's the after-effects, it's his fingerprint on my soul, and that's all.' _

Anyway, she had nearly shoved the little gnat's presence from her mind. It was foolishness to be inviting him back in. "Yeah," she said, smiling. "I'm ready. Night Cu."

-Goodbye.- The entity glowed softly. -The way is clear. There is no one outside.-

"When are you going to talk to Geoffrey?" Sally asked as they strode back towards the village. The leaves swayed gently above and the pleasant scent of the camp fire drifted to them.

"Tomorrow perhaps." He patted her shoulder affectionately. "Goodnight, my dear."

He parted ways from her and she stood for a moment in the darkness, alienated from the companionship of the bonfire. She hadn't joined her friends there in many days.

Tonight, she did.


	23. A Voice from the Deep Deep Well

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 23 : A Voice from the Deep Deep Well

Take her arms and hold her down

Until she stops moving

Take her arms and hold her down

Until she stops kicking

They don't know her, but what the fuck

They've got nothing else they can do

And there's no reason, but still they come,

And I'd have a hard time facing you;

This crime, the shame of what a man can do.

I would've died from all the hell that you've been through.

Take the night back, all we've stolen

All they took from you.

"Hold her down" – Toad the Wet Sprocket

* * *

**From the mind of Casssar, Queen of Robotropolia and Woman of the thoughtful mind.**

_Another dawn came to the city and I decided to go out upon the balcony. The robots had finally finished repairing it. I pressed a foot down upon it, testing, anticipating a sudden collapse and my long fall through the smog clouds. I would be safe though. I could levitate. I should test it then, to be sure that will not happen to Black Flower. I do not wish to find my love shattered upon the ground. _

_But what was this? He was already out here. He had his skinny arms folded and leaned upon the railing, staring out across the expanse of our empire. _

_"You are not worried about this floor collapsing?" I asked, coming up behind him and rubbing my hands along the juts of his shoulder blades. _

_"If I fall, I fall," he said, in a chipper tone, sighing a bit as I massaged his back through the gray fabric of his shirt._

_"I would not be happy," I said, nuzzling my cheek against the top of his head. It was warm and smooth, and he always smelled lovely. Lovely and tasty. It was a struggle to keep my tongue from rolling out and licking him all over... Mmm. I purred at the thought, my eyes narrowing deviously. _

_"I imagine not," he chuckled. His face was alight and he was smiling as he turned to face me. He leaned his back against the railing, arms crossed across his chest. He radiated smugness. _

_"Why are you so happy today, Black Flower?" It was indeed unusual to see him in such a state...it was good to see it. _

_"I had a dream," he said. That was another oddity; his dreams rarely generated pleasure. This must be something special then. _

_"What sort of dream?" _

_"About my father... He was..." He trailed off, his words tapered into a sound...a soft impish giggle. It grew louder...and there was something about it that made me feel slightly ill. Like a danger – like a swarm of bees coming, nearer and nearer. Black Flower stood up on his tiptoes and wrapped one arm around my waist, and the other grabbed my arm. He pressed himself so hard against me and his mouth roughly met mine. His tongue shoved in. I could still feel him giggling – a swarm of bees cascading down my throat. He was aroused too – a hardness dug into my thigh. _

_I always wanted him violently and fevered...I loved to indulge in our kisses. I craved the time when we would lie down together and twist our bodies as one. But this was...wrong somehow. Tainted, yes, he was, but he was tainted like me – hurt by others and so in turn wanting to hurt, but that was a seed that had been planted within him. This man here, this man...it was like he had always BEEN that way. And that is not the Black Flower I know and love! So I, alarmed, shoved him away. _

_His hand was still clenching my arm, like a vice. It hurt but I would not cry out. "Release my arm, Cast," I demanded. _

_"He was kissing me," Snively continued, as if I had said nothing, his hand tightening harder still. "I was pressed against a window and people were walking by. One man looked in and saw us. He saw what my father was doing, and he still walked past." _

_My vision went to stricken red haze – how did he know this?! I had never told him. I saw flashes of light, I saw my own white-child hand clenching upon the frame of the window. It was warm against my back._ _Sunlight was coming in. The people couldn't see us because of the glare – I thought. Dust motes sparkled around my father's head; I tried to focus on their beauty, instead of the pain that he inflicted upon me. Daddy had the gall to do the very-bad-thing to me right in the window of our house – because it was wartime...and he knew nobody would stop. Nobody would even care. _

_"What's wrong Cass..." Snively cooed and leaned closer. He inhaled, sniffing me, his pointy nose wrinkling. "You stink...Cass. You smell like used garbage. Trash. Somebody's little hunk of meat...somebody's little whore princesssss..." He hissed the word and I could not take anymore – I screamed. _

_My hand lashed to strike. It stopped before touching his face; I whimpered like a child in horror, my eyes grew round. My hand had turned white. My fur had turned white – that thick sticky wet fur, that fur that held the tint of blood so well, that fur I had grown to hate – WHITE. But worse, worse still was Snively, for he had gone paler than pale. He had gone white too..._

_His face had turned into my father's and he leered at me. "You thought you could get away from me. All that running didn't do you no good, little slut. I'm here now. I'm here to take you back, baby." _

_"No," I cried and my voice had lost all its strength – all my power had gone! Black Flower had been devoured by my father and he could not save me! _

_I did the only thing I could think of. I lunged at him, slamming into him full-force and we fell against the balcony railing. It was dangerous, as I had suspected. It broke and we fell through – we fell for miles. _

_He grinned up as he hit the ground seconds before me. _

_"I've been searching my entire life for you." _

_I tried to levitate but it was too late. Everything went black. And then nothing._

_

* * *

To find my father. That was what this was all about. _

_Dead, alive, evil, healed, loving, cruel, remembering, forgetting – still stronger than me? I wondered so often lately which of these things my father would be. _

_But before I had NEVER wondered! I had pushed him out of my mind and thrown him into a deep dark well. I had sealed this well with a door and a key. He could not harm me there. _

_All of the scars he had made on me...I had opened them and let them bleed out until they were clean. I had covered the white fur he had defiled. He was gone. I had been fine! _

_Until..._

_I lay sprawled on the bed keeping the gateways of my mind open, letting the thoughts sift through on their own accord. _

_There was once a man named Robotnik. I never knew him directly. I never even knew the full influence of his deeds. I knew him only from snippets of conversation from passing Mobians – of the dark shadow he had cast, of his snares set everywhere, his robots, his evil, his scouring troops. And I came across those troops – but I avoided them. Robotnik may have been Mobius's greatest evil but he was a mere speck in my life. _

_But this man, Robotnik, he had taken his grubby fingers and left filthy smear marks on people. And one person was a man that I am endeared to. This man, his nephew, is my love. And he has the mark of Robotnik all upon him. Through Snively I have grown to know Robotnik. Because of Robotnik, Snively had suffered. Because of this suffering, Snively had been able to open doors he shouldn't have. Just by his mere presence, just by the force of his pain. _

_Yes, Snively's pain had formed a key and that key unlocked the door to my father. He had not meant to do it. He didn't even know he had. _

_But I'm still fine. My father still can't climb the sides. He's still stuck down there. The problem is...I can hear his voice now that door is open. He is whispering...he's asking me to find him._

_But I can ignore him, because I could care less what happened to him. He can be dead and rotting for all I care. He could be alive and searching for me...what do I care? _

_That's what I have to keep telling myself. I must be strong. I must keep this agony in – for Black Flower. _

_But I can never keep anything inside for too long..._

_

* * *

_  
Morning came, foggy over the city. Billows of mist rolled down the streets. _'Or ghosts, perhaps,'_ thought Snively, standing outside the Command Center. It was the first time he'd been out since the Freedom Fighter's attack. 

His footsteps crunched upon the ground; he rounded the fallen leg of Robotnik's statue.

"Are you ever going to get this place cleaned up?" asked Casssar. She made no sound, even when treading the exact path he had taken.

"Oh, I don't know." He ran his fingers along the gray cracked stone, smiling wickedly. "It's somewhat of a testament to his defeat. I rather like it. Besides..." He chuckled. "I don't have much use for a front door. I don't get many guests."

"Quite true," said she, guiding his arm.

"Where are we walking to?"

"Wherever my feet lead me," she replied. But she had a certain destination in mind. It was away from the shrouded streets of the city.

"Is it a surprise?" he asked, semi-mocking.

"Maybe..." She put a teasing hand over his eyes. He closed them and allowed her to guide him to their mysterious goal. He felt the ground of Robotropolis give way to a loose grit upon a hard-packed earth. He knew where they were instantly. The Wasteland between the city and forest.

"Ah," he said, allowing a peek through his eyelashes. "I think I know where we're heading..."

"It's not much of a surprise." She admitted. "But it is pleasant, nonetheless."

He had always been leery of walking out in Nature alone. Freedom Fighters could be lurking, waiting to take him down. The trees themselves seemed to know his crimes and they bowed over accusingly. He had once had a dream that he had been swept into the branches of a towering Oak and swallowed whole into its knotted trunk. My goodness...that had been such a long time ago...such a long time. And it had been an Oak tree, he knew for certain, for acorns had fallen and marked the spot where he had been standing. It had been some twisted metaphor... The Acorns having their revenge.

_Ah, but I had MY revenge on them!_ He thought savagely, remembering Sally's broken crying voice from the other night. His mirth died as instantly as it had come. She had made a FOOL of him. She had thrown those ashes...and they had gotten on him...he had breathed the stench of his dead Uncle in. It was in his blood now...maybe it was killing him. Maybe Robotnik didn't even NEED to come back from the dead to destroy his nephew...

"Cast?" Casssar tugged on his arm and he shook his head, scattering the thoughts like scared mice, staring up at her. She left his side, seating herself upon a stone. The soothing gurgle of water met his ears; they were at a stream. Red and gray rocks, spiked weeds, and the towering trees...they had been here before. A long time ago.

"It is our stream," she agreed aloud, reaching down to cup water in her hands. She drank from them, casting him a saucy look. "I have wanted to return here for quite some time, but I could not drag you away from your computers and schemes for even an hour!"

"I'm not sure if I would have went..." He said, a slight blush hitting his cheeks. All that plotting, for NOTHING! To defend against a man who wasn't even REAL anymore! "I was...unsettled. Stupid!" He frowned. "I wasted so much time I could have spent on you..."

Her heart twisted. His words, self-loathing for seconds, cut through her.

"I'm surprised you didn't just leave me, Cass."

She cupped her hands into the stream again, and held them out to him. Water streamed between the gaps of her fingers and down her wrists...so reminiscent of blood...except it was ice cold. Snively stared at himself in this liquid mirror and then leaned forward, drinking her offering delicately.

"My little gray bird..." she said warmly. "Such a pretty little thing."

He wiped his mouth, grinning, rolling his eyes. "Oh, Cass! You know, I can't deny it isn't flattering when you say stuff like that...but honestly... You and I both know I'm..." He tugged one strand of hair, sticking out his tongue, pointy nose wrinkling. "Hardly attractive!"

"I disagree!" She purred and then tackled him suddenly, pinning him down on the green and gold grass. Oh, it smelled good...wild and free. Leaves were red and orange like fire overhead, and one fell, landing next to Snively's head like a blot of blood. She crumbled it in her fingers, while the other hand, still wet, stroked a line down his cheek. His eyes, blue jewels, glinted up at her.

"You're so nuts, Cass..." He giggled and then closed his eyes as she tilted her head down, mouth meeting mouth, kissing for long moments.

"Mmmmmm..." he whispered as they broke away. "What have I done to deserve this kind of luxury...?" Another kiss. Another. She laughed against his lips and rolled off him.

They lay staring up at the clouds and the tree branches. Some were still laden with the autumn leaves, and others had gone bare and lonely. She turned her head to sniff the scent of grass; Snively eyed her with an amused smirk. "I miss the wilds..." She said...burying her nose into the fragrant sheaves. "I miss the smell of it. The freedom...the running."

His smirk faded and he looked away.

She was silent. He glanced back, mouth pouting. "I'm not stopping you from coming out here, Casssar... You don't have to stay in Robotropolis all the time..."

"I know," she said. "But I enjoy your company."

"We can come out here than, together!" He sat up abruptly, locking his eyes on her...they were wide in fear, his hands twisting in the grass. "As often as you want, Cass!"

"Alright," she said, moving her hand to grasp his. She felt like weeping, but she knew how to hold tears at bay. "That sounds nice, Black Flower."

He sprang upon her, lying close, his head nestled into her shoulder. "Are you happy here...with me?"

She poked his arm playfully. "Why so insecure today?"

"Are you?" he asked again. "Answer or else!"

"Or else what?" she grinned. "You will what?"

He kissed along her neck. "I'll have to bite your throat out!" he giggled.

She snorted in amusement. "Those strange little teeth of yours wouldn't do much damage."

He chuckled and began to shimmy his way down her body. "Maybe I'll bite you elsewhere..."

"That's a threat?"

He rested his head on her stomach and gazed at her. The smile had gone from his face and only vulnerability remained. "Cass, really...are you?"

She cradled her hand to his cheek. "I love you, Cast. I am happy with you. I had thought this was a clear thing."

He closed his eyes, turning his head away from her. His way of hiding. "And it is, Cass, but things like this are so complex..."

"You analyze too much."

He shook his head with a self-hating laugh. "Force of habit, I suppose..."

She switched their positions; rolling atop him. A savage growl took him by surprise. Her hand slid down his chest and shirt buttons undid themselves. He shivered at the touch of air upon exposed skin; shivered again, deeper, as her tongue flickered a path down the pale surface. "I can remedy that..." her voice was a sensual threat, her hands lighting on his belt. "I can make you forget your sense of logic."

A small squeak escaped his mouth; her lithe fingers were undoing the buckle and her fur was crackling with tingling, prying magic. Her claims had already been proven. Casssar grinned deviously. But there was no reason why she couldn't continue!

The belt unbuckled and one lithe hand slid in. He jolted, his smaller hands grabbing ahold of her arm, digging in. He gasped; she chuckled. Her face moved towards him, a tempting kissing distance away... and he took the bait. Clumsily, he caught her mouth. His kissing was distracted, his fingers tightening their grip.

"Do you enjoy that?" she whispered in his ear, still laughing darkly. Somewhere, in the dark bowing leaves of evergreen, the fluttering of birds' wings echoed. He let out a quiet moan, pulling his mouth away, his gaze darting to the woods.

"What was that?" he whispered, his hand grasping upon hers, attempting to still the pleasure for a moment.

"Just birds..."

He stared hard, trying to pierce through the darkness but his vision wasn't like hers. He couldn't see past the gloom. His breathing shuddered in harsh; not just from the continued groping of Casssar's hand...but at the notion that someone could be standing mere feet away from them, staring... and he would never know. Chills crept down his spine; he gritted his teeth to suppress another moan.

She leaned forward, running her tongue along his jawbone, tasting skin and sweat. His hand was gripping harder upon hers; he attempted to pull it away.

"Casss...stop...stop for a minute."

She chuckled evilly, lapping at his chin. His brow crinkled, an eyebrow twitched.

"I mean it, Cass, stop!"

"Oh fine!" She huffed and withdrew her hand, mightily displeased. She stood and approached the stream, kicking a pebble into the water. It sank with a loud splash.

"Casss..." He was panting, cheeks flushed, looking from the forest depths to her, and then back again. "I didn't mean it like that...It's just..." He tried to re-buckle his belt but his fingers were shaking. "It's creepy out here..."

"It's only a forest." She looked over her shoulder at him reproachfully. "I'm starting to think you do not enjoy my touches, Black Flower."

His eyes widened. "Casssar, you can't honestly think that."

"You always reject me," she said, lip jutting outwards in a pout. One black foot dipped into the cool water of the stream, stirring. "Whenever I want to have fun...you don't..."

"It isn't rejection," he protested. "It's just...a matter of place and time..." Small white teeth bit down hard into his bottom lip. "And these past few weeks...I've been...so preoccupied. With goddamn Julian... I... I fucked it up with you...didn't I?"

She sat by the stream's edge. He joined her. "No," she said.

He leaned his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes. "Cass," he said, sincerely, hoping to shatter the sudden coldness in her fur, the stiffness of her body. "Your touches are the most enjoyable thing in my life. You are a gift I don't deserve."

"How poetic," she sneered.

"Casss..." His breath hitched and he clutched her in a desperate embrace. "I MEAN it, Cass!" Oh Gods, it was so hard...so very hard to say things like this, didn't she know that?! No matter how true to the soul they were...just admitting a dependency... a love... it was an act of opening doors. Doors that had not been opened... doors that had vulnerable things behind them. Like ripping a fingernail off and prodding the tender skin underneath. His hard armor had been stripped, leaving him open to her attack.

She turned her head and he was afraid to see her expression. But she smiled. Those green eyes glinted. "I know." She put her hands to his face and kissed his forehead. "I know you do. But I wish to have you, Black Flower. Perhaps not here, then, if you are afraid. But later..."

"Later..." he agreed...feeling heat rise in his cheeks...and other places...

A rustling underneath the darkness of the spruce and pines across the stream made him remember his initial fear. His breath caught in his throat and he pressed closer to her. One hand fumbled for his belt...but he hadn't worn his pistol today. Casssar had asked him not to!

A small gray non-anthro squirrel hopped out from the darkness and sat back on its haunches, long tail of fluff flicking. He exhaled noisily, a laugh trailing the end.

"Oh look..." She extended four long fingers towards the rodent, vapors of white magic circling. "A snack..."

"Cass, no!" He cried, giggling in amusement. The magic shot out, landing close to the little beast and it leapt up, chattering in indignation. Back into the darkness it fled, scolding them the entire way. Snively peered up at her, laughter sobering. "But I imagine you did eat squirrel, living out here?"

"Among other things." She nodded. "I rarely went hungry...not once I had learned to focus my energy into attacks."

He splashed one hand in the stream. The water was ice cold, hurting. He withdrew the hand, wiping it on his still-undone shirt. "How did you... when you ran away...how did you live?"

"It was very hard, at first." She stared off into the forest. "I ran as far as I could away from the place where I had lived all my life. That in itself was...frightening..."

He nodded. He knew what it was like to leave an old life behind and venture into something new. But he had been so excited to do so... leaving 'beloved' daddy behind for Julian and the Acorn Kingdom and his supposed position as Julian's protégé. He snorted bitterly.

"I remember that first night clearly," she said. "Vivid. I can see it now."

----------------

_I ran as far as I could before dropping down from exhaustion. My entire body ached. Blood was hammering in my throat, behind my eyes. In my ears there was a terrible rushing noise. I could barely swallow with a parched mouth. I lay where I had fallen, in long brown grass, gasping and gulping the air – I was starved of it. _

_Finally, I could sit up, one hand to my side for there was a painful stitch there. I blinked away tears and looked around. I was in a wide long field; a patchwork of green and brown and starling flares of yellow and pink flower-weeds. _

_But the chaotic wilderness bore signs of intervention. The treads of war machines had left gaping muddy troughs across the fields. They had crossed here as they headed towards Overlander territories. _

_I was not worried about the war, or any of that. Now that air was back in my lungs and my vision had cleared, I could focus on more immediate concerns. My father was a hunter. He had long strong legs. Any stamina I had was passed down from him. He could be right here. Maybe he was crouching in the long grass right now, watching me. Laughing to himself. _

_I was so scared, thinking of that. The weight of my thoughts was hard on my body. It wanted to stay here and curl up...and just die. Dying was easier than running from the man I couldn't escape. Dying WAS the escape. _

_But I did not die there. I got to my feet, all wobbly and weak, crying softly. I was not far enough away for sleep, or for dying. This open field was no place to be unconscious. If I were to die, I would have to go further away...so there would be no chance of anyone finding me and bringing me home. Because... when mommy had died...Daddy still hadn't left her body alone. I could not stand that thought...of him still hurting my body even after I had left it._

_Or maybe I wouldn't be able to leave it! Maybe I would die and he would somehow trap me there! Maybe it would be even worse than being alive!_

_So I got up and limped on, for miles and miles... until I came to the fringes of a forest. I fell into darkness and pine needles and I slept there. I awoke under the spreading branches of a spruce tree and crawled from the blackness under it..._

_-------------- _

"The sun was shining on the dewy leaves. The air smelled... sweet. I did not wake up...for the first time in such a long time with another body on mine... or with a hand striking me. I did not wake up with his voice in my ears! I was alone...except for the singing of birds."

Snively was looking away from her. His lower lip was trembling and his hands were clenched into fists.

"Don't cry," said Casssar... for she could see drops of water falling from his chin. "That was..." She drew in a deep breath, her voice lowering as if sharing a vast secret. "The first time I felt joy in years, Black Flower. I felt like life was open to me."

He rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Why..." His voice was strung with sudden anger...No, not just anger...but rage. Seething rage. "Why do things like this have to happen, Cass?! What did we ever do to deserve things like that?! AS CHILDREN!? Why did we deserve this?!"

"It's over now," she said.

"But why?!" He cried, grabbing her hand.

"There isn't a why," she frowned. "There never is."

He sighed, rubbing her hand to his cheek. "My whole life is built on WHY, Casssar. My whole fucking existence is built on it. If there isn't a why, then there isn't a reason... a reason for anything. There isn't even a reason for US."

"Because life is unfair. Isn't that an Overlander phrase? That's your why, Cast. Because life is chaotic. It takes all these different feelings...and situations...and events...and everything like rain...and it rains it down...and some people get the good parts and some people get the bad and some people get rained on more than their share – good or bad – it's all random. There is no USE to puzzle on it. It does nothing for us."

He her fingers across his tear-wet cheeks, sucking one digit into his mouth. She chuckled and he smiled gently. "But I want someone...something to blame for what happened to us. I want someone to pay for it."

"Your uncle has paid. Your father is dead."

"Yes..." he nodded again. "So I should be happy."

"You should."

"But your father... you never made him pay."

"I didn't..." Her eyes gazed afar...into the forest. Into the darkness under spruces...so similar to the place she had awoken on her first day of freedom. But it wasn't freedom, for she was still bound in the scars and pain of the past... for she would never escape it...and for, even now, she wanted to seek her father out. She did. No matter how much she tried to drown out his voice from within that deep deep well... she could still hear him...

"But," he breathed, suddenly spontaneous, kissing her hand, "I'm glad you're with me..."

"Me too..." she whispered. _Oh...for the sake of all things joyful in this world... make the voice of HIM stop..._ She kissed him hard, on the mouth, nearly weeping at the warmth and wetness, at the beat of his heart as she pressed herself to him. "I..." _Love you, _"Black flower..."

He moaned softly into her mouth, but a whimper soon followed. The trees were rustling again and night was falling fast and sudden, as it did when the year grew close to winter. Sunlight would be a rarity everywhere soon, not just in Robotropolis.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested. "Please?" The trees were turning to black shadows and he shivered.

She dipped her head in agreement. "I will follow you, Black Flower. Lead me to a place where you feel safe, and I will follow."

They began the trek back to the city. He walked close to her, jumping frightfully to grab her hand whenever a noise startled him. The sun dropped out of sight. High above, she could see the myriads of glowing stars.

Snively wasn't interested in them, even though they were a rare sight to his city eyes. He was looking back and forth as they neared the hard-packed earth of the wasteland between the city. She conjured up orbs of floating light. They danced like fireflies.

He kept close to her even then. Chuckling, she patted his shoulder. "There is nothing out here, Black Flower."

He laughed nervously. "I know...."

She was walking beside him on the left. She snaked her long tail around, brushing it against his leg on the right. He shrieked and leapt towards her. "OH! Something touched me. Cass!"

He stared down. The culprit tail flicked back behind Casssar's body and she chuckled heartily.

"Oh funny!" He snarled and crossed his arms sullenly across his chest, but the corner of his mouth was twitching in a vain effort to suppress a smile.

"The master of the dark city is afraid of the dark," Cass said in amusement.

"Oh, it's not the dark," he replied, more relaxed as they neared the aforementioned place. The tall structures were lit up with pinpoints of red and white lights – _'starlight of their own'_, Cass mused. "It's more of what you can't see in the dark." He grinned over at her. "And you? You're probably the only Mobian who's walked into this city without fear."

"I am most fortunate."

"Indeed."

"We are a unique pair."

He echoed. "Indeed!"

They were on familiar streets now.

"What I can do," said Snively after a few minute's silence, "is take over the Great Forest. Tree by tree. No – not destroy it," he said, as she raised her eyebrow. "Just claim it for US. It belongs to them right now, you know. I don't know why Robotnik never just burnt it to the ground."

"Perhaps he enjoyed the game."

"Perhaps." They skirted around the stone leg and headed for the secret entrance. It was camouflaged as part of the wall. The hidden entrance led to an elevator.

Snively did not like the small space, but Casssar was at ease. She lounged against the wall, her long legs taking up most of the floor space. "You said he never killed them outright. He just played with them."

"Yes." Snively watched the changing numbers. They were lit up red, but the color did not make him shiver lately. "He did enjoy it- the sadism. But they made him so angry too. Like a child angry when its toy breaks...when it can't have its way." His lip twisted.

The long black tail ran its way up his leg. Casssar chuckled softly. "Forget him, Black Flower. Tonight is ours."

"Oh good..." He said...and the elevator arrived at their destination. He took her hand and led her down metal hallways... he led her to a place straight out of her nightmares, though he could hardly be aware. He brought her to the balcony.

She did not shudder, or cry, or blink a black-fringed eye. She stepped out, resolute.

_'Why not? I can submit to the darkness...for a little while at least...'_

_

* * *

_A/N: Didn't you just luv all that Sniv/Cass mushiness? XD XD There's more in the next chapter too...lucky you! _  
_


	24. A Witch's Resolve

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 24 : A Witch's Resolve

* * *

I know there was love here before, and will be again 

Yes, I know there was hope here before, and will be again

Just takes our angel to help us see it all

And then there'll be comfort around as we fall

And then there'll be comfort around as we fall.

I have fallen to troubled waters...where are you now?

Where are you now?

But there is a deeper river where I won't drown, where I won't drown

If I rise up, I will conquer...for love is all, for love is all

I will find you...and I will hold you.

When you fall. When you fall.

"Deeper River" – Dusted

* * *

A/N: For warning, there is some sex stuff in this chapter. Nothing really explicit, but enough so hopefully you know what's going on. evil laugh You can skip it if you want ;P Just go to the next line break. XD Anyhoooo....  
The first thing Snively noticed when he stepped out on the balcony was the cold. With the fall of night and loss of sun, the chill crept in like a fog, blanketing him in its ice grip. He wondered if it might snow again. 

He shivered, but braved it, stepping out boldly to the railing. Darkness encroached the air beyond and below. He could almost imagine the blackness to be liquid and this span of metal under his feet a raft. He and Casssar were all alone in the inky sea – the only living creatures for miles...for thousand of miles, maybe.

"They finished fixing it?" Casssar stepped out almost gingerly, as if she expected the floor to give at any moment.

"Last night. Don't worry, it's solid. I was out here this morning. Oh, look, Cass, we can see the stars from here too!"

She followed his pointing finger and Lo, there was a gap ripped in the smog, and through it she could see the dots of light.

She had to force his words out of her mind – _'I was out here this morning'._ Yes, he was out here, n her dream. Was he out here, drinking coffee at the exact time her dream-self heard him saying horrid things? Or was it one and the same? Had it even been a dream at all?

_'Don't be foolish – dreams are dreams and nothing more.'_

Mother's advice. Even though mommy had thrashed often enough from her own night terrors.

"Are you alright?" Snively asked. "We don't have to stay out here, if you don't want..."

Yes. she was alright. Perfectly so. Dreams ARE dreams, Casssar. Let them rot in the corner of the mind, in the reaches of night. Reality was so much more...rich. Black Flower was standing before her in his grays, with his porcelain face turned towards her, waiting, big blue eyes blinking. And he wanted her, here in reality...he LOVED her.

The balcony was big – she had room to move freely. She danced out to him, the slow sensual movements she had dubbed 'Shadow Dancing'.

His pulse quickened. She had named the dance right – she was a shadow. If she had danced like this in the gloom of the forest, he would not have been able to discern between her and the night. Here, the city was lit up with its twinkling soulless light and it fell soft upon the flowing curves of her body. Every motion made those curves sing; they spoke to him in their own tongue...and his body responded.

"You are so beautiful..." he said it like an oath, well, perhaps it was a crime for any one creature to contain such dark lush beauty.

The slightest hint of a smile tugged her mouth's corner... she lifted one lazy hand, moving it in a line down her chest....trailing between breasts and down the stomach... he watched intently, the railing cold against his back. And that was not all that was cold! Sudden chill struck his chest and he looked down, realizing his shirt had just come unbuttoned. Now she was moving both hands across her shoulders, the fingers curled as if grasping and pulling. The shirt pulled backwards, taking his arms with it. He let them go and the shirt floated off his body and towards her.

She laughed heartily as the shirt landed in her outstretched hand, before dropping it in a wad on the floor.

He chuckled, but he knew before long he was going to be wishing for that shirt back. The cold was caressing his bare skin...and his scars...they were showing. He crossed his arms across his chest, suddenly self-conscious, his cheeks flaring.

"Don't be silly, Cast." She could read his mind sometimes. She kneeled solemnly before him. His teeth chattered... she had extended a finger and was running it along the scars, following the path of each one. Her touch was warm, leaving lines of heat on his body. Her eyes met his. "They are a part of you, Black Flower, and I accept them."

"But I hate them..." His voice came out whiny, child-like.

"They are a part of you," she repeated and when he opened his mouth to protest, she would not allow his words to escape. Her mouth was suddenly there, swallowing them up, kissing fiercely. The shock drove him back against the railing, his hands fluttering, moving his lips weakly in response. His breath was harsh when she pulled away.

"This night is about pleasure..." her voice was a low growl. 'Not pain." A malicious twinkle was in her eye as she bent towards his neck. "Though there may be some pain...but it will BE a pleasure..." She kissed...oh yes...and he trembled...But then he yelped, for her teeth had nipped, stingingly hard, drawing blood on the junction of neck and shoulder. Oh Gods, it hurt, but the feel of her hands, caressing his sides...and her tongue swiping his skin... it made him wild.

"Alright, Cass..." He struggled to push her away; he wanted to see her. Ah, there she was, smiling wickedly at him, her eyes alight. He grinned. "Bring it on..."

A purr rumbled her throat and she pushed him to the floor, laying atop him. Her thick fur was luxurious against his bare torso...and so very warm. It drove away the cold and brought sweat to his brow. "Mmmmm..." She breathed moist against his skin and her tongue moved across his chest. Such a simple touch had him panting already and he slid his hands up her sides, loving the feel of the plush fur...moving further up to cup her full breasts in his hands. A warm weight they were, heavy and soft.

He grasped her hair gently, urging her head up. He wanted to taste her again, to feel the enamel of her teeth, the sandpaper of her tongue. The kissing grew fevered, lips and teeth and tongues meeting savagely, sometimes messily, but always invoking further lust. He thought of SpyEyes floating by, recording them silently, and unlike the thought of eyes watching from the forest, this made him even more riled. He wanted to play it back now, so he could see her beauty from all angles.

The thought, and all others, fled his mind as her hand traveled his stomach. It did not tease...it went straight to its desired destination. The belt and button undone, the hand sliding in under cloth to hardened skin... it made his eyes squeeze closed and a whimper tremble his lips.

"You like my touches, do you?" Her mouth brushed his ear. She bit her teeth onto the curled cartilage and flesh, very different from her own.

"Ummm...yess..." His back arched slightly; his fingers clenched harder on her breasts uncontrollably...wanting to hold onto something. Or else he might float away. He might fall right off the balcony and never get back to his body.

"Then you'll love this..." Softly whispered. He felt warmth from her hand... a tingling... Magic. Her groping became a rhythmic motion, making him groan and squirm...and then...the magic. It enwrapped him; it brushed like dozens of feathers over sensitive nerves. His entire body jolted from the shock, the sheer overload of sensation. Toes curled harshly inside his boots and he could barely make a sound, just a breathy whimper. His eyes were dazzled...he was staring straight up, but he knew it wasn't the stars blinding his vision.

A memory, blurred and jumbled, and incredibly hard to grasp at a moment like this, flashed into his mind. It was the time he'd first come into contact with Cu Chulainne and how it had tempted him with a snare of pleasure-magic. That had been incredible.

That had been nothing compared to this.

"Oh Cass..." he could barely speak coherent sentences... "You'd better...b-b-better stop...or else..."

Her lips did not respond with words. She merely kissed his neck, her moist nose nuzzling against his jawbone. He could barely stand it, shivering, wiggling under her hand, his little hips jerking sporadically, his breathing erratic and pulse beating wild.

Oh, but my, she loved to see him in pleasure. It was wonderful. She wanted to give him more.

He gasped. He tried to move away from her, his hand grasping at her wrist. He was afraid to abandon his logic...afraid to get too caught up in the ecstasy – to lose his sense of self, because he was already forgetting who he was, who she was.

She put her mouth to his and whispered a command (or a plea perhaps): "Just let go."

A kiss from her... he kissed back clumsily, moaning. She drew away...her face was blurring – fur of coal, bright green sparks of eyes...some kind of feral goddess. But what was her name?

"Let go..."

So he did.

He fell, or maybe he flew. He really couldn't tell. A weak noise escaped his mouth, like the mew of a newborn kitten. He could feel someone nipping his neck, feel her hand clenched sung around him. He was releasing. But this was far more than a climax, well beyond simple sex. It was an exclamation point on a screamed sentence – exhilaration.

_'I'm alive!'_ His heart thumped – how amazing. Ears beheld the white noise of blood rushing through veins, arteries, capillaries. Skin felt the shivering touch of her furred fingers, nostrils breathed cold thick air, scented with her wild forest musk.

"I'm alive," he mummered, as he came down, as if descending from clouds. Every nerve thrummed like a plucked guitar string, but the echoed strumming was fading away now. He eased his eyes open. "Cass..."

"Yes," she laughed softly, kissing his forehead. "You certainly are."

He blinked. One hand drifted to wipe sweat from his face. He saw everything with sudden clarity. Here he was, Snively Kintobar, leaning against a balcony railing over a city that HE ruled. Here he was, his cheeks flushed and his body still singing and there was a beautiful woman smiling at him, pulling her hand from his pants. _'Holy shit'_, he realized..._'I have EVERYTHING!' _His uncle was dead, his father was dead, the city was his...he was in love with her...she was in love with him... he had things that he'd never even attempted to dream of. He'd been too drowned out, too apathetic to believe he could ever have anything like this.

"I love you, Cass," he blurted, grabbing ahold of her wet hand.

"Of course you do." She seemed amused. "Some say a man's heart is through his coc-"

But he cut her off, voice urgent. "No, not just because of that....though that was amazing...not just because of that. Because you are... you are everything I need." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Because you...make me feel alive in other ways than just hate... or vengeance. I mean...that was my only fuel for so long. Without you here, I would be fighting the Freedom Fighters still, but I'd be fighting them as an incomplete man. As a half-alive man."

She shimmied away from him to lean against the closed door to the balcony. He felt a twinge of panic – she was leaving him...she was offended... But she beckoned to him. He dragged himself over, hand and knees across the cold metal, and she cuddled him in her arms.

"I feel safer over here," she confessed, staring out through the gaps of the railing. Her tongue flicked out, licking the rim of his ear. "Have I ever told you the meaning of my name?"

"No," he sighed, blissfully content in her embrace, his head nestled into her arm. He felt warm and lazy, like he might fall asleep.

"It means 'the desired one'."

"How appropriate."

"My mother gave it to me. She knew from my birth that I would be beautiful. It was only natural, since I was her daughter. I remember her...before the beatings and scars (Snively felt a sick lurching of his stomach) She was divine, Cast. She was so carnal and passionate. She didn't believe in holding back sensuality."

Her hand was on his stomach, her fingers tracing his scars. "Don't think she was a whore. It was nothing like that. She was just...natural. Free-like. She was a Shadow Dancer and lusted after by the men in town."

"Wasn't your father jealous?"

"No, why would he be?"

One bony shoulder shrugged. "I don't know...it's just natural."

"She loved him. She had chosen him. They were each other's. He was secure in that."

"He must have been very trusting." Snively tilted his head to look up at her, but he could only see the bottom of her jaw; she was staring upwards at the stars.

"She loved him," Casssar repeated. "It was very simple."

"Was he jealous...afterwards?" Snively asked, tentatively.

"She loved him still. I think she still loved him, even when she died." Casssar put a hand to her head; the nonchalant gesture of flipping hair from her eyes. But, even in the darkness, he could see her eyebrows flinch. "She was not allowed to go out. But nobody noticed, because of the war. All the men who watched her dances went away. Daddy wasn't jealous. He always knew that she was his, forever. It was different though. Before, they were bound together by their emotions, each one tying the other. And now...it was that he simply owned her. She was just another toy. He was not jealous."

Her embrace was going stiff. Snively twisted around to face her. Two pale hands went to cradle her cheeks and he kissed her, tenderly. Two faces were together, breathing close, eyelashes nearly touching. He retired to her neck, pressing his face there, his hands burying into the dark tangle of her hair.

She ran a hand down his naked back, a soft purr in her throat. She was warming up again. "I am secure," she stated. "I know I have you."

He confirmed. "You do. Always."

"I am glad of that." Her voice was a rumbling growl; it shook through him. His nerves shivered; he drew in a sharp breath. His hands traveled her body; over breasts and stomach, hips and thighs, down to the junction of her legs, up to curve of her cheek and the tufts of her ears. His breath was getting heavy again. She laughed.

"Oh my, Cast...it seems like you're ready for some more fun."

He grinned. "Indeed."

* * *

Miles away from the city, under the trees that Snively feared, a couple was walking hand-in-hand. They settled upon a bed of soft moss under towering spruce and gangly birch. They could barely see the stars through the canopy overhead, but there were other wonders to behold. 

Sonic and Sally had come out here to be alone. It was just like the old days – when they would steal away to a spot of forest or simply hang out in each other's huts.

_'Or maybe not quite like the old days..'_ Sally thought wistfully, twiddling a pinecone between her fingers. Sonic was unwrapping a snack (a chilidog, unsurprisingly) from his backpack, chattering happily, but she was only half-listening.

"...missed hanging out with you, Sal...mmmm...you want some?...Sal?...ok, fine...mmmmyummm...ain't it a nice night...?"

It was the same, in the sense that it was things they had done before. It was the same in the sense that Sonic was the same. It was the same in the sense that...she still loved him just as much.

But she was the factor of difference. She felt like she shrunk just a little bit, shriveled inside just enough that her part in the jigsaw puzzle didn't quite fit anymore. There was too much space around her. The things inside her that had been alive and thriving had died....yes, they were coming back again, slowly...and someday she knew she would fit in perfectly again. Her picture would be complete and unmarred.

She knew it would be.

She HOPED it would be.

"It's a beautiful night..." she said, softly. "And I missed being with you, too."

He turned his green eyes on her in earnest. When they were alone, he sometimes dared to drop his bravado. "I'm really glad you aren't sad anymore, Sally...I mean..." He took off his gloves because he had spilled a piece of chilidog on one. His bare hand sought hers and squeezed. "I know you still are...a little...but..."

"I'm getting better," she said. She returned the squeeze. "I'm close to being the same old Sal again..."

It was a lie – she could never be the same. But that could be a good thing. _'Pain can change a person – but it can also breed strength, compassion, and wisdom.'_ Rosie had once said. So although she couldn't be the same, maybe she could be better than she had once been.

He smiled. "That's great. But you know you're cool with me, whatever way you are."

She poked his nose. "And you are with me...though I would prefer your breath not smelling like chilidogs constantly."

"Hah," he snorted, "You can't fool me..." He leaned his face towards her, "That's the only reason you like to smooch!"

She was glad to be kissing him again. It always felt so good, like their mouths fit together perfectly. It was a simple joy. They parted for air, then connected again, just silently enjoying one another. But as the kissing grew longer, her joy began to seep away. She had to squeeze her eyes closed tight, trying to block the tears.

_'I want it to be simple and clean between us again. I want to sweep the dirt and lies out from under the carpet and show them to you!'_

She felt a sob welling in her throat and mercilessly, she forced it down. _'No, I told him I'm healing...so I have to! Even if I'm just pretending to heal...maybe pretending it will make it real.'_

_'Don't be so upset about it',_ her father had said. _'You're not upset about Sonic not knowing our family credo, are you? This is just another family secret.'_

Oh yeah, like the secretive phrase 'to rule with honor' was anything compared to what she hid from Sonic. _'This is the real reason I killed Robotnik...and why everything is so messed up.'_ Daddy's reasoning had been just plain ridiculous, and he knew it. But she knew he was right in other regards...how they needed to keep the Source a secret...to avoid it being tainted by the wrong hands. _'Everything about the situation just plain sucks'_, she thought.

They took a break. She laid down on the moss, on her side, propping her head up to look at him. He leaned lazily back against the tree, locking his arms behind his head. "And how are you doing?" she asked him. Sonic was even more reluctant than her to spill out deep feelings. But when they were alone...Sonic proved he was deeper than a high-speed cocky hero.

"I'm doing ok," he said.

She eyed him.

He shrugged. "I'm glad you're better. Now that you are, what's been bugging me lately is Lupe. Quack says she doesn't seem to be getting anywhere."

"She's not getting worse..." Sally spoke half-heartedly. "I guess we should be glad for that."

"Yeah," said Sonic. He picked up a pinecone and, after examining it for a moment, hurled it away into the forest. "But it isn't fair!"

_'And was it fair for Bernard or Caddy or Rosham?'_ she wanted to say. But that didn't even matter, she knew that; Sonic knew it too. They were dead. Their chance at life was gone, along with their pain and fear and hopes, along with any potential they had. There was no use mourning for lives that could no longer be.

But Lupe was still alive...she was still in this world. And yet, she was not...she was barred from the pains and joys of living. And so, yes, it wasn't fair...it was so much more unfair than what had happened to Bernard. Sally thought maybe it was wrong for her to think that...to think that someone dead was better off than someone alive.

_'But it IS true.'_

She stood up. A breeze had kicked up through the forest and she was suddenly very cold. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her vest closer, but the blue piece of fabric was no help. Sonic stood seconds later and silently, they began the walk back to the village. As they approached, seeing the huts through the trees, Sonic touched her arm. She looked at him.

"Whatever happens, Sal...we'll get through it. We always do. We're fighters."

She nodded. They parted ways. After a few feet, she stopped and looked back, but Sonic had already dashed out of sight. A few leaves, stirred up by his passage, were settling back down to the earth. They were brown and crumpled...dead. She cast her gaze up to the balding trees and sighed.

Sonic was always positive. That's how he was...it wasn't a front like she put up sometimes. He was never saddened by the falling leaves or the onset of winter, because he saw the fun in jumping in leaf piles and sledding down hills...he saw the joys of living even when the world was temporarily dead.

'_I'm ultimately hopeful too.'_ A few days ago she would've scoffed at that thought. Even now, she wasn't sure of its truthfulness. _'A few days ago, I wasn't even myself.'_

Her feet bore her closer to her home. The fur on her neck bristled; she became aware of someone walking behind her.

"He's right, you know."

She turned. Geoffrey was there, the smell of cigarette clinging to him.

"What are you doing – spying on me?" Her tone was light-hearted; her suspicion was not.

"Nah, I was nearby smokin'...you two didn't even notice me."

"I'm sure..."

"You believe him, don't you?"

The question was weird; it took Sally off guard. She raised an eyebrow. "Of course I do."

"Ah..." He took off his beret and ruffled his headfur. "But you still aren't sure, are you?"

"What's with all the questions?" She was getting annoyed. "Are you practicing to be a therapist? I heard Dr. Quack was looking for one."

"No, no," he shook his head. His rakishly handsome face was grinning, but in an instant it had dropped into solemn lines. "The thing is...you have to believe it."

"And why is-"

"Because when you believe it...you're strong. You're probably the strongest of us all." His voice rode on the chill wind; it cut right through her. She didn't know why.

Two villagers walked by, a man and woman, arm and arm. They both stole glances at her...her gaze openly accusing and his a mistrustful glare. Friends of Bernard's. Supporters of the witch theory. She didn't feel like meeting their eyes; she kept her gaze on Geoffrey. Her fingers itched to reach down and grab a rock off the ground...there was a hefty gray one, right there by her boot. She wanted to take it and hurl it at those people.

Geoffrey moved past her as if to walk away, but he stopped beside her, leaning his mouth close to her ear. She felt shivers rush through at the proximity; she could smell the cigarette smoke and the musk of his fur...and he was close enough to kiss. "You're the strongest..." His voice was a low rasp. "You're our light."

He said something else as he walked away from her...it could've been 'goodnight' or 'pleasant dreams' or any of the standard parting comments a person could make. It was whispered so quiet she could barely hear it.

She rubbed one hand over her eyes, suddenly very tired. It seemed everyone around here knew her better than she knew herself, or apparently they thought so. She was a witch, she was a fighter.

She could, as Geoffrey had said in parting, 'Bring lost souls back home...'

Sally reached her hut. She didn't go in the door, instead, she circled around to the side, where the accusation of witch had been written. It had been painted over by the indignant team of Sonic and Bunnie. But she could see it glowing through, like bones under illuminated skin. Every stroke had been made hatefully, in harsh black sweeps. The brush had been overloaded, so that the excessive paint dripped down like blood.

_'Maybe I deserve that stigma.' _

She had killed, after all. The stain would never leave her. No matter how much paint she smeared over it.

She smiled wryly. _'So, I guess I should've killed Snively too. Two for the price of one...once a killer, always a killer.'_

She went to the wall, pressing her cheek to where the word had been. She could hear their whispers... _'witch...killer...killer...witch...the 'esteemed princesssss...'_ Snively's voice finished in full mocking glory. He seeped into her mind like some creeping black disease.

She scrapped her cheek across the hard gritty surface....imagining...her fur peeling off, and skin...layers of translucent skin rubbing away...now the muscle was disintegrating. The white skull, caught in its perpetual grin, crumbled into chalk-dust. And finally, her brain was exposed and feasted upon by night owls and ravens and the scuttling beetles in the soil underfoot.

_Dear Journal..._

_Is that the only way to get these voices out? To rot them out? I don't know why I'm having such odd thoughts. I'm not depressed anymore... _

_I'm not happy, but...I don't know. I have my hands hooked on the edge of the hole. I can see light now...I can smell life. Yeah, but part of me is still dangling into the darkness where their whispers abound, and those whispers still float up to my ears. Snively's is in there too. _

_Yeah, I'm still writing his wretched name in here. He's like that one gray cloud in an otherwise broad blue sky. He hovers on the edges. But..._

_I'm probably going to come back later and cross this part out with a marker! _

_I'm still disgusted by Snively's weakness...his inability to embrace good. Or his refusal. Whatever. I'm still so very ANGRY at him...that will never ever change. Even if he said 'maybe' there could be an end to all this fighting...he's still done so much wrong I can't forgive him. Ever. The thing is, Journal... is that I..._

_I don't HATE him anymore. _

_Argh. _

_I can't dredge it up...maybe it's still in my heart somewhere. But...I felt his fear...you know...I felt his pain? He still has no right to take it out on us, but I can...understand him better now... and now I can't even be proud of being stronger than he is. Because I succumbed to weakness too. It's so easy... _

_Someday, I'm going to look back at this paragraph and think: 'what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?!' _

_Geoffrey said something so strange to me. He said 'You're the one who can bring lost souls back home.' What the hell could that mean? I'm so tired. I don't think I can ponder on it for long. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to take a paint-can and paint over my wall outside where they wrote 'witch'. I have to bury it further... 'out of sight, out of mind.' That's true in some cases. _

When she took off her boots, Sally noticed they were quite dirty. There was mud caked on the bottoms and she shook her head disgustedly. Yuck. She'd probably dragged it all over her floor.

Something was stuck in the arch of the left boot. A feather, brown with a white tip. She guessed it had come off one of the Wolf Pack's outfits... they had many accessories that were feathered. Bags, hats, necklaces, and hairpieces.

A shiver went through her.

The little girl, Nadie, had feathers just like this tied up in her braids. She had mouse skulls tangled into the dark tresses, and large wood beads strewn around her sturdy neck. A violent frown met her brows. Nadie was such a strange child...the way she scrutinized...the vague statements she made. 'Shaman-in-training' was her designation.

A thought hit her like an icepick between the eyes, stunning in its intensity. She dropped the feather and it wafted see-saw down to the floor.

_'You can bring lost souls back home.' _

She heard her own voice, talking to Bunnie. A few days ago. They had been in the stark white of the infirmary. There had been flowers. She could smell them. She could see Bunnie's lime eyes sparkling, her small pink tongue moving across words.

_'What did that child say about her...?'_ Sally had asked. She could see herself asking it.

And Bunnie had answered.

She had spoken words so creepily similar to Geoffrey's...

No, it was the other way around. Geoffrey's words were creepily similar to Bunnie's. He hadn't even been there. Nadie hadn't been there.

Sally's bare foot came down on the feather, covering it from sight, suddenly fearful...and yet enthralled...strung with adrenaline. She wasn't tired anymore.

_"She said Lupe's spirit was...lost and couldn't find its way home." _

That's what Bunnie had said.

The door slammed. Sally had gone out without her boots, without a jacket, into the chill night air. There would be frost on the stalks of grass tomorrow.

She didn't care... she ran past the wall that had read 'witch.' She turned her head, just briefly, to look at it...and like bones under illuminated skin, she saw the word screaming back at her... and this time... she embraced it.

_'They want me to be a witch... and so I will...' _

_For you, Geoffrey, Bunnie, Nadie, Sonic, Daddy..._

_Lupe.' _


	25. Please Come Home

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 25 : Please Come Home

Don't speak, I know just what you're saying

So, please stop explaining

Don't tell me cause it hurts

Don't speak, I know what you're thinking

And I don't need your reasons; don't tell me

Cause it hurts

It's all ending, got to stop pretending who we are.

"Don't Speak" - No Doubt

* * *

**From the mind of Casssar, torn between love**

_I remember, about three months after I escaped, I had a dream very vividly. I was back in the field where I had collapsed when I ran away. Except something had gone wrong...I had twisted my ankle and couldn't walk fast enough. Daddy came upon the field, moving in a steady jogging pace. He had so much stamina. He could travel like that for hours. When he saw me, he didn't bother to hurry. I was gasping, dragging my lame leg, hobbling, trying to get away. Finally, I just dropped down like a fool. Like that long grass would have pity and tangle over me, hiding me from sight... _

_Please...drag me down under the earth...and hide me. You can suffocate me if you want...let the dirt fill my lungs. It's better than... _

_I was a patch of brilliant white within the amber and dusty brown of the field. He found me within moments..._

_It's better than..._

_His hands grabbed my shoulders. He uncurled my body...and I couldn't struggle anymore... _

_It was a recurring dream for months after I escaped. But then my powers came back...and I learned them... I honed them. I had dreams of fire and dazzling electric balls, dreams of arching points of light...dreams of destroying bodies with but a blink of my eyes. I began to seek out the pool of Gold and Silver that my father had spoken of before he became evil. The pool he'd bathed in...the cause of ALL of this. I knew it was. And so, he left my dreams for long spans of times. _

_Until now... _

_My mission is still unaccomplished. I think he's telling me this... the father that I used to have...my REAL father. _

_'Casssar. You still haven't found the one responsible. You still haven't made him PAY.' _

_But I'm HAPPY here! It doesn't MATTER anymore! _

_Yes. _

_It. _

_Does._

_

* * *

_

Eyes were staring upwards...up, up up into the heavens of Robotropolian airspace.... smothered in smog. Smog that had been assaulted by wind, tearing gaps open, letting the stars sparkle through. A thin veil of smog had began to waft back over and the starlight was tinted red from the vile stuff. Red like a million of Robotnik's eyes glaring down at him. Snively's lips quirked into a mad half-smile. He was vaguely tempted to extend one long finger to the skies, giving ole Julian the long desired 'fuck off'.

But Snively didn't give a fuck about Julian anymore. He was reeling from words just spoken. Casssar had made a request of him. And this was stopping his heart, strangling him, ripping him apart, killing him. Julian's stupid fist couldn't compare to this sort of torment.

It was so cold...

Casssar's body was partially draped over him, she had her nose buried into his neck, like she was asleep...her fur was sodden with sweat. His back was afire from scrapes of claws. He was still dizzy.

She moaned softly into his neck.

So cold. He was still inside her...it seemed that was the only part of him that was warm anymore. Because the rest of her was so detached and far away...he couldn't believe it. His teeth were starting to chatter. His eyes were luminous with a sheen of moisture; it was reflecting the pinpoints of red above.

"Cast...It won't be for long..." She whispered, through another of those moans.

He turned his head away from her and stared off the edge of the balcony, where the city sprawled lazy and lifeless...so fucking DEAD! She was the only living thing here. She, with her dark stunning beauty, her way of moving in shadow...her voice of smoke, her eyes of jade... the most divine being he could ever dream to have...

Or have not.

The edge of the balcony had a treacherous drop. Just moments ago...he had been flying off it in most glorious fashion... they had been connected so entirely. They weren't even two people anymore. He had never had fantasies or dreams like that...and here it was... a REAL thing! His lip began to tremble severely and the moisture in his eyes was becoming a flash-flood. "Why?" The word huffed in a painful cough. "WHY? Why?"

"Snively..." She sat up, untangling herself from him.

Lost connection.

"I don't want to. But I have to."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want!" He cried out. His body was starting to shake... Gods...it was so as the hell he probably deserved. His naked flesh, still swathed in sweat and the other more divine moistures from her, was prickling with goosebumps.

She took his hands in hers and cradled them to her face, her head tilting away, her eyes closing. "It's something that must be done. I put it off...I didn't want to hurt you... this IS love...hurting myself to protect you... but I can't...I can't...HEAL like this... and you are healing...you're healing slow...we both have to HEAL, Snively."

His face was streaked wet. He wanted to roll off the balcony and die. He knew she was right. He knew she had to do it.

_Oh Gods...this IS love. Hurting myself to let you go. Hurting myself to let you heal. Oh Gods...this IS LOVE. _

"And when...it's over..." She was rubbing his hand over and over across her cheek and he thought she might be crying, but he couldn't tell in the dark. "When it's over... then we can both...be happy. Happy forever..."

"Ok..." He had to force the word out, like hacking up poison. "Ok, Casssar. You can...you...you can..."

"Thank you..." She whispered.

"...Oh Gods..." His voice broke then. One hand slipped from her and covered his face... he started to sob. She took him in her arms and he wept into the shelf of her collarbone, curling his small nude form against hers. "....but please...promise..."

"Anything..." she said.

"Promise..." he gulped, raising his head to stare at her. "To come back to me, Casssar."

He hadn't imagined it then. Casssar was crying, his beautiful strong Casssar had tears slipping down her cheeks. He brushed one finger against them in awe. Holy water. For some reason, it stopped his shuddering. His breathing smoothed out.

"I WILL come back," she swore. Her teeth bit into her lower lip...she drew blood.

She kissed him with scarlet lips, sealing a promise with blood. "I have you. And you have me...for always, Black Flower."

Snively fell asleep there in her arms. She swore by her life to never break this oath. Her bones and skin and soul would crumble away. She would never leave him. Her heart and body would wander far away. But he owned her soul...NO...he shared it. She had given herself to him; a gift borne of love.

Love.

He whimpered in his sleep, but he would endure. She would come back. She would come back and the demons haunting her dreams would be gone... he would be so happy for her... he wished nothing more for her.

Casssar had asked him, after the spent passion of love and lust, if she could leave Robotropolis. She had to complete her mission and find the one responsible for poisoning her father. It was the only way for her to heal. Instead of sweeping dirt under the rug and gleefully dancing upon the lumpy fabric, she would take up that rug and shake it out, shake it all out...and she would lay it down nice and smooth... and she would be COMPLETE at last...she would be redeemed...healed...and she would be worthy of him at last.

That was what she had said.

And he had agreed.

She would be gone in the blood red and neon orange of the morning.

_Now I lay me down to sleep_

_I pray the night my soul to keep_

_And let me die before I wake_

_To spare the pain of my heartbreak._

_

* * *

_

Doctor Quack spent his evening in a usual way. He leaned back in his chair with his feet propped on his worn ottoman, a good thick book nestled into his hands.

The clock ticked away minutes. He yawned and set down the volume, rubbing a hand over his weary eyes. His gaze wandered to the door of his bedroom, where the warm bed and soft covers awaited.

He stood, stretching briefly, his muscles slumping tired, pleasantly sleepy. But he had a deed to do before retiring. He always checked on the infirmary patients one last time. He drew on his white labcoat and over that an overcoat of thick wool.

Outside his breath curled away into the air. He huddled into the coat, humming, yawning again, hurrying to enter the nearby infirmary. He slipped a small flashlight from a labcoat pocket.

It was quiet inside. He heard the gentle breath of dreamers. Walking with a silent step, he strode through the main room. There were few people here, thank goodness. There was nothing worse than a roomful of people in distress...he had made it his life's work to keep people out of here!

The woman in the back room was his greatest concern. He could identify illness, prescribe appropriate medicines to cure, he could cut into a body and fix it within, he could do many things. But none of Doctor Quack's (nor any other doctor's) skills could figure out the mysteries of the coma. None of them knew how to break it.

"Bring the lost souls back," he mummered, the words coming unbidden to his beak. The wolf kid had said that. He wouldn't be surprised if she were right.

_'Maybe I should add supernatural methods into my traditional ones,' he mused. 'I'm open-mined to such 'alternative' treatments.' _

He chuckled softly as he considered this, entering Lupe's quarters. He played the flashlight upon the floors and meagerly decorated walls. Her many bouquets of flowers were slightly-wilted. And her bed was empty, the covers thrown aside haphazardly. The flashlight passed over all this and then jolted back to the bed, where it aimed quivering.

His bill gaped open. The Doctor sprang forward, fumbling at the covers, as if he expected the Wolf Chieftain to be hiding in there. Nothing! He spun around, nearly dropping the light in his agitation, flickering it frantically over the interior of the small sterile room...Nothing! Under the bed? No.

His breath caught in his throat, Quack rushed into the main room of the building, checking under beds and behind privacy curtains. Nobody woke and nowhere was the gray figure.

"Ok...Ok Horatio....calm down..." He drew in a few panting breaths. He tried to control himself, walking slowly back into Lupe's chambers, beholding the empty bed and the rumpled covers. They had been thrown aside. He studied them, trying to deduce if they'd been thrown aside by the sleeper or by someone beside the bed. He couldn't tell.

The panic was starting to escalate again. If she had woken, she would still be muddled...she could get hurt walking around. If she hadn't woken...

He gulped. He threw open the supply closet; it contained only supplies. The undersides of beds were empty, save for lone balls of dust. They floated away from him over the wooden floors.

_Bring them back home..._

Doctor Quack drew his overcoat shut and buttoned it. He left the infirmary quietly. When the door shut behind him, he ran.

* * *

The Wolf Pack had made their encampment in the woods near the training grounds of Knothole. Their tents of animal hide all lay in a circle around their own campfire. They all slept sound. 

Nadie was the exception.

She fidgeted in her sleep, limbs twitching, her eyes darting back and forth under the lids. "Chieftain..." The word hung in the air, heard by none.

_Chieftain, wake up. _

"Please..." The child's voice came out in a moan. Her sleeping body rolled to one side, then the other. "Come home."

_I know you're out there. You have to come home now. _

Thunderhill was snoring in the tent next to Nadie's. He jolted awake at the sound of yelling and a cold flood of air as his tent flap was thrown open. "Who's there?" He tumbled out of the open flap, his arms flailing. One large hand contacted something and grabbed. It was the arm of Horatio Quack.

"Doctor?" The arm was released. His gruff tone was replaced by concern. From other tents, wolven faces peered, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. "What's wrong? Something's gone wrong with the Chieftain?"

Quack gasped for breath; running was not his forte. "Yes...no..." He huffed, "I don't know..."

"What in the High Garato's name does that mean?" Thunderhill's hand found the doc's arm again and shook it harshly. "If you've done anything to hurt her-"

"Has she died?" cried a female wolf, eyes round in fear. "Is she-"

"Shut up!" Thunderhill roared, whirling towards her with Quack still in his grasp. "Let him talk!"

"Please, calm down." Quack seemed to be heeding his own advice. His breathing was settling and his eyes had lost the sheen of panic. "She hasn't died. That I'm aware of, anyway... but she may be in danger. Now kindly unhand me!"

Thunderhill did as told. Wolves had exited the tent and gathered around the doctor, staring at him expectantly. In the sudden silence, they could hear Nadie's sleeping voice.

"Go to them...they can bring you home..."

_Shine brighter for her...I don't know if she can see the way yet. Lupe, come home, follow my voice..._

_She CAN'T hear me!_

A shiver went through Quack.

"Well?" Thunderhill demanded, his voice strangely hushed. "What's happened?"

* * *

"You can find it. You're so strong. You can't stay there. They need you. We all love you..." 

Sally's voice broke. Lupe had been thrown into darkness with no choice. She had been lost, not by her own vocation.

Sally had been too weak. Too stupid and selfish, the structure of her soul riddled with holes. People had loved and needed her too. "I'm sorry," she choked. She had never apologized to them, either.

-Sally.- Cu's voice cut in, sharp as a knife. –You cannot think like that anymore.-

Sally was kneeling before the Source pool. She stared blurry-eyed up at the entity. Lupe's limb body was before her, the Chieftain's head in her lap...she was stroking her hair. "I can't do it. I can't bring her back...I'm not strong enough...I don't have any light to shine...I'm weak..."

She could imagine Lupe's eyes, how much contempt they would hold if they could see Sally now.

"She won't come to someone like me..."

-For good to exist, evil must too.-

Sally blinked, her tears falling cold onto the raven hair below. What a stupid comment. It didn't even make sense in this context. "So what?!"

-And so, for strength to exist, so must weakness. You ARE weak, Sally. But so, too, are you strong. It is up to YOU which way the scales tip... it is YOUR choices that balances things out. You are right. She will not come to someone overcome with weakness. –

Sally stared down at the still face. Still so beautiful, Lupe was. The princess was afraid. She had taken IVs from Lupe's arms....detached wires. The wolf could die... She could've unhooked something important. The Chieftain's chest was rising and falling...she could breathe on her own. But Sally was terrified she could be jeopardizing her life. "I could be killing her now..." She laughed shakily. "I'm good at killing, Snively said. Must be one of my strengths..."

Lupe didn't stir.

"I'm sorry..." She stood abruptly, dragging the wolf with her. "I shouldn't have tried this...so stupid..." She turned her streaming eyes on Cu. "My weaknesses OUTWEIGH my strengths...I don't have ANY choice in that... I can't do this. I have to get her back to her bed..."

-You had enough strength to come out here. To dare to try.-

There was no reply; Sally's mouth was twisted into a sob as she hoisted the wolf into her arms. Her eyes were dazzled as Cu suddenly glowed brighter...there was a strange shift, as if a warm breeze had blown through the air...

Sally was flooded with voices. It was Cu's doing, most likely, but the voices were from her own memories.

_Kind of stupid of us to think we can fight Robotnik... _

Sonic's voice...so loud and clear. They were eight. They had just failed a mission.

But they were still here – they had opposed Robotnik. They had saved lives.

_Silly weak rodents. _Robotnik's voice hissed, so full of hate and scorn. _You can never defeat me. better for you to lay down now, why drag the suffering out so long? _

She had believed him sometimes. She had been ready to surrender sometimes.

But she was still here...and he was dead.

_You're the strongest one of us all. _Geoffrey had faith in her, even when she loved another, even when he'd seen her weakness.

_We care for her...we love her. Ya'll know that, right? _

Bunnie. So sweet, accepting. She believed in Sally. She accepted Sally's weakness.

_My daddy said life is what you make it... _

Her own voice, echoing her father's words...

_It's our duty. Everyone has a duty. _

Why did everyone believe she was so strong? Sally put one hand to her head, nearly dropping Lupe. But she couldn't let the wolf fall. She let her head throb; she cradled both arms under the Chieftain, supporting her.

The voices had stopped and she was left alone in the silence. Cu did not speak...it watched. It would not judge her actions.

Sally turned back, the light of the Source blinding through her tears. She stepped once towards it. Twice. Three, four.

It hurt so much to carry on. It hurt to try...

Her boot entered the liquid, then her knees, and thighs. It hurt to fight. Didn't they see that?

It hurt to live.

But she did. She always did. That's what made her so strong.

She submerged, bringing Lupe with her...letting the Source cleanse them both, lifting the darkness away...all she could see was light, gold and silver, so beautiful... and she reached out with all her strength.

"COME HOME."

One last voice came to her ears.

"I am humbled before such strength. Sally."


	26. Saviour

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 26 : Savior

I was stained with a role

In a day not my own

But as you walked into my life

You showed what needed to be shown

I always knew what was right,

I just didn't know that I might

Peel away and choose to see

With such a different sight.

And I will never see the sky the same way,

And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday

And I will never cease to fly if held down,

And I will always reach too high

Cause I've seen, cause I've seen

Twilight.

"Twilight" – Vanessa Carlton

* * *

"What do you mean, she's gone missing?!" Thunderhill's nostrils were flaring. 

"I went in to check on her...and she wasn't there..." Quack took a step away from the brown wolf. Thunderhill's big fists were clenching and a fierce gleam was coming to his eyes. "The covers were thrown back. The few patients that were in there were asleep."

"Did she wake up?" The female who feared Lupe dead crept closer to Quack.

"Why would she walk off? She wouldn't be that stupid! She would stay there!"

Quack took another step away. "Ever woken from a deep sleep and not know where you are? She was...is...in a coma with a healing head injury. She might be confused...er...if she's awake, that is."

"LUPE!" cried the woman impulsively. "WHERE ARE YOU!"

"Didn't you hear? He doesn't know if she's awake." Thunderhill charged into the group of wolves, taking on the position of authority. His charged energy was making Quack nervous. Thunderhill had a way of being infectious, and right now he was radiating anger and agitation. "Someone could've taken her."

"Taken her?" The woman gasped.

"Taken her where?"

"We'll split up," growled Thunderhill. "Groups of two. Scour the village...and I ain't recommending you go easy on whoever has her-"

"She WAS taken." The voice, though calm and quiet, somehow squashed all chatter.

They turned towards the voice. Quack knew who it was, but his heart still pounded at the sight. Nadie was crawling from the tent, straightening up. Those eyes, pumpkin-orange, froze everyone in their stare. Intuitive. Yeah.

Thunderhill was before her in two strides. Quack thought he might grab or shake the child, but he didn't touch her. "Nadie, do you see something? Who has her?"

She frowned. "I can only tell that her spirit has traveled...following her body. I am blocked from it. But she has not woken."

"Look past the darkness." Thunderhill spoke in an encouraging tone; it surprised Quack. Obviously the wolf had had dealings with the girl's powers before...he was familiar with the things she usually said. He knew how to help focus her.

"It isn't darkness blocking me," Nadie replied. "It is LIGHT. Immense amounts of light."

* * *

"Sally..."

"I hear you."

"I see you..."

"Follow..." Sally clenched her eyes shut tight...she blocked out any dark thoughts, any doubt...she felt the Source around her, so pure. And she felt something else. A wisp... a wandering spirit...she touched it. She squeezed Lupe's hands...and she opened her eyes...she stared at Lupe's face. "See my eyes...the light in them? Follow THAT, Lupe!"

* * *

Nadie had gone rigid, her eyes rolled back in her head. 

"She's trying to see past the barrier," Thunderhill had explained when Quack had rushed forward to help her.

"There is...a..." the child's voice came out labored. "a great power at work! It's...so strong..."

"What's going on?" A few Knothole villagers had arrived on the scene, roused by the earlier yelling. "What's wrong with that kid?"

"QUIET!" bellowed Thunderhill. He was cradling the girl in his arms.

"Something's changed..." Nadie whispered. "Something...OH!"

"What the hell-" Started one of the villagers, but they were startled as Nadie jolted from Thunderhill's arms, landing neatly upon her feet. Her eyes were back to normal and her voice was calm and smooth again.

"She is by the water!!"

Thunderhill didn't spare a second. He sprang away from the group, heading for the Power Ring pool, even as one villager questioned 'who?' and Quack asked 'What water? The pool, the river...what?'

The rest of the wolves were on Thunderhill's heels, charging away after the makeshift leader.

"Lupe," said Quack.

"She's awake?!" exclaimed a villager.

"I don't know...let's go find out..."

* * *

Sally's foot slid into the soft mud on the far shore of the Power Ring pool. She, staggering, made her way towards the path back to the village. Behind her, the cave door slid shut in its seamless fashion, blending perfectly into the rock. 

Just in time. She heard screams, the sounds of running feet. Sounded like an army coming down here. There was no time to run or hide. She stood up as straight as possible, but she was not afraid. She no longer cared what they thought of her.

The commotion had woken several villagers. They joined the running wolves, jolted from sleepiness at the notion of a kidnapped Lupe. Geoffrey and Bunnie walked at the back of the group with Quack, who was quoting Nadie's words to them.

"Ah wonder what it all could-" Bunnie stopped talking. There were screams and howls from up ahead, full of rage and persecution. Screams directed at...

"The WITCH!! The WITCH HAS HER!"

"Sally-girl?" cried Bunnie. The Princess was the only witch around, right? That's what they all called her, behind walls and backs and in heated whispers. Maybe Sally did have powers...but it was no reason to stab a word of contempt upon her.

Geoffrey was shoving roughly through the group; Quack was following in his wake, and Bunnie charged after them.

"Witch, let her go!" A woman screamed.

"Princess? Lupe?!" Thunderhill's loud roar deafened all ears. He halted in front of her; she had stopped and remained stock-still, just staring at them. The wind blew her burgundy hair about her face, and her eyes shone with a great weariness... but it was not the weariness of a hopeless soul trapped in darkness. It was the weariness that came after accomplishing a monumental feat.

One of the villagers fought through the crowd to stand next to Thunderhill. It was one of Bernard's friends, and he was drawing a hatchet from his belt. Bunnie's eyes went wide in shock...

How DARE any of them think of harming her?!

"What are you doing with Lupe?" Thunderhill said, his voice even and calm, but there was a threat running beneath.

Sally did not flinch. She did not move, even as the hatchet-wielding villager came near. She stood with her arms embracing the body of Lupe, holding the Chieftain off the ground. Lupe's bare feet were, strangely, not dragging, but planted firmly upon the earth.

"Let go of her, witch...." The villager threatened. "I don't care if you're the princess. We can't let you kill anyone else-"

"You will not harm her."

At first, Bunnie's sharp ears thought it was the voice of Nadie. It was low and calm, and thrumming with energy, just like the child's. But no...this voice was different. It was older. Wiser.

A gasp went through the crowd; as one they stepped back. The hatchet fell harmlessly onto the ground.

In Sally's arm, life had blossomed. Lupe's head lifted, wobbly, but standing proud and noble upon her fine neck. She stood...she stood up straight. Her arms held onto Sally's for support.

Her eyes, so long closed, so long unoccupied, opened. They were the same...the same beautiful rich wise eyes...nothing had changed. Nothing but a jagged scar across the forehead and a wearied trembling of her body.

Lupe had returned.

"Oh mah stars..." whispered Bunnie.

Sally's eyes were filled with light...She was vivid. The Chieftain's height was superior to Sally's, but strangely, oddly, Sally seemed to be the taller person tonight. She towered above... her hair wafting, her mouth a neutral line. She was so gorgeous that Bunnie's breath caught in her throat; Geoffrey whistled in awe.

Lupe spoke, her voice slightly raspy, as if dust had coated her throat. She coughed quietly. "I will hear no more foul speak of this woman. She has saved my life. She has brought me home when I was too weak to find my way. I will hear NO MORE talk of her."

"I'm sorry..." the hatchet-man mumbled, as he bent to pick up the weapon. His head bowed in apology, he merged into the crowd.

Thunderhill stepped forward, taking Lupe's hands reverently. "Come Chieftain... let's get you to the camp... You can rest. We have so much to talk about."

They turned, and slowly, the wolves dispersed from the area. Quack, insisting he needed to look Lupe over, followed them. Sally didn't move... she stood in the same spot, her eyes watching everyone leave. The villagers didn't speak to her. They trickled back through the trees, disappearing into huts without even a word to each other. Doors shut quietly.

Bunnie could feel their emotion. It made her heart twist. She had never doubted Sally, but they had. They had accused the girl who struggled to keep Knothole safe all these years. A girl so young, sacrificing herself for them... they had blasphemed her good name. Oh yes, she felt their emotion...and it hurt to feel it...but they deserved to wallow in it. They were ashamed.

There was one who did not exude the feeling of shame, or awe. A simple respect and quiet approval radiated from one child. Nadie stepped up to the Princess. "You have great power...." The orange eyes, like low-hanging moons, glowed. They washed over the Princess, then wandered the cliffs and rock walls behind the pool. "But the power was not all yours."

"Not all," Sally said softly. "Not at all."

"But some," Nadie praised. "Much. You are powerful indeed to bend such forces to your command."

Sally finally moved, her bare feet stepping around the child and carrying her towards the path to the village. She spoke over her shoulder. "It was not bent."

Bunnie was alone at the pool. She stared out over the water, and into the dark trees. Up into the sky, she gazed. There was nothing here. But things were different somehow, like a great wind had blown over the village and blown the stale heavy air away. It was nighttime...but to Bunnie it seemed like the stars were shining particularly bright tonight.

Bright enough to scare away the shadows.

Things were going to be different around here, she knew.

* * *

Sally was tired. So tired she was nearly sleepwalking on the way home. Everything was a daze, but pleasantly so, like the high of eating rich chocolate or really good sex. 

Her foot hit a dip in the ground and she stumbled. Her arm was caught and steadied, taken in a gentlemanly fashion, though this man was certainly less than a gentleman. She smelled his musky fur, like cologne. Geoffrey.

"Bit unsteady, luv?"

"I'm so tired," she said, through a yawn. "I'll be clear in the morning."

"That you will," he said. He had a very nice smile, now that she looked at it. And his eyes, they weren't blue at all – for the murk in them had floated away...they were black underneath. Clear, like volcanic glass. Clear. Yeah, he knew everything, and he knew she knew he knew.

_'That's a lot of knews,_' she thought, and managed a weak smile. It didn't even seem to matter that he knew anymore. Sonic would still accept her, even through the lies.

"You did a great job, Sally. I knew...that if anyone could help Lupe it would be you."

Her embrace was tired, weak, but genuine. She hugged him. "Thank you."

"G'night luv."

Her bed was soft. The euphoria was fading to a soft warm glow at her core. She cuddled under her covers, cradling her arms to her chest, holding onto it. But it was nothing new or sacred. It was simply a lost part of her...

...finally come back home.

* * *

The morning sun crept through the fall sky. It was a windless day. Most of the trees around Knothole were bare, their skeletal limbs reaching into the expanse of blue above. Leaves lay thick upon the ground. 

_Dear Journal, _

_It's getting colder and winter is around the corner. Autumn makes part of me ache. But, I do have to admit, I enjoy this aspect of fall – walking through the leaves, the swish and crunch of them underfoot. Sonic likes to whip up huge piles and we jump into them. We all do... laughing and screaming and throwing great handfuls at each other. Maybe we can do that today. _

_It would be so nice, today, to build a midday fire and roast corn and hot dogs over the flames. I love the taste of roasted corn, with butter dribbling off the end. It's delectable and messy. _

_I should get up and get out. There's so much to do and see today! No time to waste the sunlight._

She rolled over lazily, reluctant to give up the warm and softness of the covers, but knowing other comforts awaited her in the laughter of her friends and the taste of fire-roasted corn. She was facing the window and she lifted her head with a frown. A shadow was outside, like someone was trying to look in. They were! She saw the shadow move away and she heard mummered voices.

_'Who could that be?'_ None of her friends would be peeking in her window in the morning. She slipped her feet off the edge of the bed and touched them to the ground. Her legs had no choice but to stand; she swayed on her feet, rubbing her eyes.

Outside she heard a yell. It sounded like Sonic. The voices stopped abruptly, and she drew aside the curtain, staring outside. She saw several villagers running away from her residence. The next moment, a pounding came at her door.

"Come in, Sonic!" She called. She slipped on a pair of boots, listening to the creak of the front door and the sound of footsteps.

"Those creeps were writing on your wall again!" Sonic huffed. "And after what you did last night!"

"What did they write?"

"I don't know...but you can bet it's a bunch of crap!" He frowned hard. She took his hand and he stared at her, almost bewildered by her complacent gesture.

"I don't care what they say anymore, Sonic."

"But they don't have any right to treat you like that!"

She shook her head. "I...I can't explain. But I won't...I don't...carry the guilt for them anymore. I don't feel it anymore."

He squeezed her hand. "You never should have felt it."

_Maybe not. But I did, and it killed parts of me. But I came out of it stronger, I think. I came out of it WISER. -Part of you will be dead, Sally. But death is not a bad thing. Other parts of you will still be alive.-_

_Cu was right. I mourn for the dead pieces. But I hope for the living ones, and all the potential they have. _

Outside, she heard Bunnie's voice. "Sally-girl, come out and see this!"

She and Sonic obeyed; they exited the house and rounded the corner to the wall that had bore the stigma of 'witch.' Geoffrey and Bunnie were standing there and they smiled at Sally as she approached.

They smiled?

The wall was smeared with mud again, big messy words scrawled by fingers and hands. The dirt under the wall had scoop marks in it.

"That's more on the mark," chuckled Bunnie. "Though Ah believe they might be over-estimatin' you now, Sally-girl!"

Sally laughed – a pure and real laugh. It felt so good. She looked at the faces of her friends, and she felt their love and acceptance. She felt the same for them...

And she felt the same for herself.

_Dear Journal, _

_I didn't see it. I see it now. _

_The night sky. It is endless darkness. Akin to hopelessness and despair, an airless realm of death. But look, what is that there? And there, and there? Pinpoints of light; stars. They shine so brightly. They are so small, and yet...the eye is drawn to them and NOT to the darkness that encroaches them. That's US. That's a mortal life. Surrounded by the inevitable and yet shining still. _

_I wish I had seen it before. I'm so sorry it took me so long._

_I can only say...I will shine all the brighter now...I'll shine so hard I'll create my own sun....and I'll radiate light for all of you._

The wall read: Savior.


	27. Better Man

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 27 : Better Man

You couldn't even bring yourself

To stay, oh no

You had to go spoil it all

I know you had to go.

Now I find these endlessly colorblind days

To fill

You never will.

Take this life, take it all

In your hands

You were mine, I could smile again.

And now I dream, you come to me

(come back to me)

And comfort me.

Now I dream.

"This Life" – Mandalay

* * *

**From the mind of Snively Kintobar, steeped in sorrow.**

_My life is a series of events steeped in disappointment, hurt, horror and shame, so much that it becomes wearisome for me to account them all, and even more wearisome for a listener to hear. It all becomes too unbearable. _

_I was always so maddened by the lack of love from my father. His blame, and hate, it wore out my young soul. It shattered the parts that normal people have intact – those parts that can hope, love, and feel joy. I look back at that sometimes, and feel immense regret, but I know I would never had ended up differently, not with him as a father. If only I'd had a different dad, if only he'd died when I was young, before the damage could become permanent...if only...if only. _

_'If only's' are bullshit. There's no such thing as 'if only'. You can't go back in time. You can't change the past. Whoever came up with 'if only' should be skinned, because 'if only' is nothing but salt rubbed into raw wounds. 'If only' makes the soul blind... it traps it into the misery of the past...because you can never look beyond the 'if onlys' and see all the goodness that you CAN have, here in the present time! _

_So, this, yes, is one of my life's greatest sorrows. _

_The second it seems, is something everyone on this whole blasted planet knows, but what they don't know is the severity of it. The betrayal by my beloved Uncle Julian, the moment that transformed him from the man I admired into the man I feared, Robotnik. I could experience all the comprehendible sources of pain in this universe, and somehow, I don't think they could compare with the pain that he caused me. Julian is truly, one of the great sorrows of my life. _

_Casssar came along, and she made me see things beyond the if only's and the pain. She was so hurt within herself, but she still managed to give these things. She's everything my weak, bitter, cold soul needs... so I suppose in a sense I don't deserve her. But life is unfair, as Casssar stated. It will give comforts to a murderer, enslaver, cold-hearted son of a bitch. _

_But of course, this life is what has made me a murdering, enslaving, cold-hearted son of a bitch. So maybe I DO deserve her. In fact, yes, I DO. _

_She left in the morning, and after she was gone, I went back to sleep, in hopes perhaps, of waking up again and finding this was a dream, that she was still here. _

_I woke again in the afternoon and my crown of barbed wire flowers was lying on the nightstand next to me. I took it up and threw it across the room with all my might. It hit the wall and spun away under the bed. It represented emptiness now. How can I be a king without her? How can I really...be anything? I'm so afraid I'll revert back to what I was. A half-man. A muffled voice trapped inside a shell. _

_I went down to the kitchen, alone, always alone now, and took out a package of dehydrated food. I mixed it with water. The water was gray and had specks floating in it. Ever since the water refinery was damaged, the water has gotten worse and worse. I shouldn't be drinking it. It'll make me sick. _

_I don't really care. I poured myself a glass of coffee made with that same tainted water and ate this miserable lunch alone. _

_It's pretty funny. Hilarious, even. Life is such a kidder. I used to LOVE being alone. I craved it. Solitude became as sacred as air into the lungs; it was indeed a necessity for survival and sanity. _

_Now... _

_I called a SWATbot into the room and had it sit at the table with me, and I told it everything I was feeling. It stared back at me with its red slash glowing. _

_It made no motions to comfort or condemn me when tears overpowered my words. _

_Holy shit...I don't think I can do this._

_

* * *

I tried to keep myself amused throughout the day. A few hours later, I'm thinking I probably should've stayed in bed, because I'd be much better off sleeping than suffering from this monumental boredom and heartache. _

_If Casssar hadn't come along, and I still had defeated Robotnik...things would be different. I'd be skipping down the halls, singing, playing with his stupid chair, basking in the hot tub, and gleefully tampering with Julian's secret files. I'm free to do all those things now...but I don't care to. I guess I'm still in the grieving process. _

_This hurts so much. _

_I assigned more techbots and workers to clean up the refinery and repair the streets of West Robotropolis that were damaged during the ill-wrought massacre. I played a game of chess versus the mainframe computer, trying to immerse myself in strategy, but my attention kept straying and the computer won (it usually did anyway). _

_The balcony door was closed and I couldn't bear to look at it. That's the place we kissed and hugged...and...I shuddered...every nerve shivered to think of it. Her touches... the feel of her... the sounds... Even just the thought of it made my heart pound. Idly, I stroked one hand down my side and upon my lap; I could amuse myself with that sort of play for a while. But no. It's too lonely and desperate, and it would make me crave her touch even more. _

_I needed to get out of this room and away from that balcony door, its brushed metal maliciously catching the light, drawing my eyes to it. All the decadent memories were out there in the cold, knocking on my skull. _

_What the fuck. I always indulge in pain – don't I? Sally would stand here and tell me I wallow in it, and Casssar would spout her wisdom about throwing it out to rot in the garbage, forgotten. I can't do that though – a monumental task indeed, to clean all the trash and grime out of my mind. Even the strongest acid could not dissolve the filth, crusted as it is on the walls of my soul. _

_So I live with it, I push it aside – and sometimes, just sometimes...I jump waist deep into it and wallow. I drown in it. It's sick and hurtful, but at least it's mine. _

_So, I went over the door and opened it. It's late afternoon but I hardly could tell. Miles of gray stretched out before me, the sky and city blending into one. _

_This lonely expanse, all its spires and streets, all the trapped souls, all the taint of Julian, the smog sky, the poison bay...it's all mine. No – mine and Casssar's. _

_She had brought with her the crown I had made. I almost wished she hadn't – that way she'd have a reason to come back. Ha. My dark queen wasn't interested in this kingdom. She didn't care about the power or the fight. _

_I leaned over the railing as far as I dared. I had a vision of the railing breaking and me plummeting, down, down, down. I knew what would happen then. I would be a splattered red mess on the streets so far below. But my mind didn't play out that scenario. It pictured instead, the sight of me falling forever, hurtling past windows and lights, and darkness...into a limbo. A place with no relief. A hellish fall into nothing. Sounded like my life with Julian all those years. Forever falling, but never dying....or never even landing at all. _

_The railing didn't break. The robots repairs were sound. _

_There was a slight twinge of disappointment. _

_In a limbo, at least you don't feel pain. There's no end, but there's no pain. It's a numbness in every bone, every feeling frozen. Including love. Stupid, silly, senseless love. _

_'I will return to you, my love, my flower.' _

_Yeah. Sure you will. _

_You took your crown and you're never coming back. You'll never find your father. You'll never come back. Fuck, Casssar, don't you see? People like us don't recover. We don't heal. We're too shattered for the pieces to ever fit back together right. _

_'We can be happy.' _

_And why couldn't we be happy as we are? We should spite Julian and your father by forgetting them...we should make happy memories that will overpower the memories of them. They're winning, don't you see? Your father is winning because he isn't allowing you to stay here with me..._

_Oh, silly stupid lovesick Snively. I leaned farther out over the railing, so that my tiptoes strained... and one foot came off the ground. I could swing myself right over. The fall might seem to take forever, but it would be only seconds. There wouldn't be any limbo – that's just a product of my imagination. I would be dead, plain and simple, simply dead. _

_But what if she did come back...? _

_A half smile curved my mouth and I propped my elbow on the railing, my chin in hand. The cold air was making my ears tingle. Sally's right...I AM good at wallowing. Sickeningly, freakishly good. But strangely, I don't have enough bitterness in me right now to believe my half-assed thoughts. _

_'We can't heal.' That thought is along the line of 'if only.' Complete bunk. Because I have healed. Not all the way...no probably never...but enough. _

_'She's not coming back.' I know that's not true. Self-pity is another skin for me. I have to roll and scratch to shed this. I turned my arm over and pulled up the sleeve. A scar bourn of Julian is there. I could split my skin along that scar and start peeling it back. Because self-pity isn't the skin I want anymore. _

_Because Cass IS coming back. She loves me. _

_I drifted back inside, thoroughly chilled. Down long hallways I went, and sank my cold toes into something to warm me. The hot tub. It was big – made for Julian. I could practically swim in the thing. My head leaned back on the plush rest, and the jets were turned on low – a gentle massage. I closed my eyes and this morning floated back..._

_We slept in my bed, the both of us, all cuddled into each other. It was the first time we'd ever slept in the same place...and I wished it hadn't been the last. It was so nice to wake up to her face...the heat of her. It made a deep part of me ache...such beauty, love...so grateful, so wrapped in adoration. It made everything worth it...all the previous pain in my life had led up to this moment of pure lazy bliss. _

_It made it almost worth it, anyway. It was going to be over in a few hour's time. _

_"Not over, Cast. Just a brief hiatus." _

_'Castdecass.' – of the blue eyes. If blue equated sadness, then I imagine my eyes were the bluest they'd ever been. But it wasn't all sadness in there. It was more bittersweet...or maybe just bitter. Maybe I was seething in resentment. _

_But dammit, no, I DO not resent her! _

_Casssar has always been really good at hurting me. She has this uncanny ability to find the most sensitive nerve and dig her claws into it. Not unlike Julian, but yet, so very unlike. I always forgave her. _

_Think pleasant thoughts. Come on..._

_She shared herself with me again this morning. How stupid of me, the way I'd resisted her advances so many times. Having her was the best thing in this pathetic universe...the closest to freedom without dying, total joy with no repercussions. No 'too good to be true' here. _

_"I regret it too," Casssar said. "But better to have you completely, Black Flower. It would not have been as sweet with your mind elsewhere." Her breath was warm and moist in my ear. _

_When she came back, I wouldn't be preoccupied. I would give her – and only her – my rapt attention. This city can fall into shambles – I don't care. Or maybe I do...it is OUR kingdom after all. _

_I sank down further into the frothy water, until it touched my chin. The heat was making my muscles slack, my eyelids droop. I yawned. If I fell asleep in here, would I slip down and drown, or suffocate on the thickening steam? Ah well...at least I would die warm. _

_'Something to warm you...' _

_I lifted two fingers, dripping water, to press them into my lower lip...I could feel her kiss there, oh yes, all over my body...every place her lips had laid – like round burning brands. _

_My thoughts returned to this morning. After basking in our 'bodily pleasures' (even now I chuckled softly at the remembrance) we lay tangled and lazy for an hour or more. Then we went down to the kitchen and ate our last dehydrated meal together._

_"So where are you going to start?" I cut my egg, watching the yolk ooze out into a thick yellow puddle. "Do you have any leads?" _

_"No."_

_"Cass!" I set down the fork, glaring down at the over-crisp bacon. If she was assured in this task of healing, then for goodness sakes, I had hoped she would know where to start. _

_"I'll go straight to the Source." She smirked at the pun. _

_Crunch A piece of bacon fell victim to my teeth. I ground into it rather spitefully. If I could have presented her a feast, maybe she would stay. _

_Bah. Stupid wild thoughts. _

_"Is that going to work?" _

_"I'll ask it for the location of the pool near my house...my childhood home... I'll go to it...it will still hold energy from my father and the one who corrupted the pool. It may still be corrupted." _

_"What if they're both dead?"_

_"Then my journey will be over." She smiled wryly. "I will fly upon the wind to come back home..." _

_Leaves. Falling leaves, carried on the breeze. The tall grass near the stream had been riddled with them. It was late fall, and soon the wind would be bringing something harsh and stinging: snow._

_It was rare here, but out there? It gathered in waist-deep piles. It froze over the lakes. Sticks and twigs coated in ice, tinkled like wind chimes before shattering. Eyes were blinded by glare off white rolling fields... toes froze inside boots. _

_She didn't even wear boots._

_She didn't wear anything._

_"Winter's coming." There was a tremor in my voice, one last desperate hope to hold her here. "It's going to be cold...there won't be any food." _

_She eyed me over her coffee cup, then lowered them to the steaming liquid. There was an apology there and my heart sank._

_"Do you remember the ice storm a few years ago?"_

_I nodded mutely. _

_"I was out in that...I was out in every winter for...for nearly as long as you've been alive, Cast. Twenty four years." _

_"But, it would be easier in the spring, wouldn't it?" _

_Crunch_

_"It doesn't matter what season it is." _

_Chewchewchew The crispy bacon was mush in my mouth, transferring from cheek to cheek. It was making me ill, but I couldn't swallow. Finally, painfully, I gulped it down, my eyes watering. _

_"If you were to find they were dead and you came straight home...how long would that take?"_

_Her sharp white teeth bit into a slice of bacon. It split in half and part of it fell back on her plate. "I don't know." _

_"Where was your home?" Fuck, I was afraid to know. The Great Unknown, the Endless Plains, Downunda, Nimbus Island?_

_"The north side of the Great Valley."_

_That was near Overlander Territory. "That's far away..." I was whining, clutching my hand to my temple. Then an idea struck me. "I know, I'll come with you! We can get there by hovercraft in no time!" _

_She shook her head. "You must take care of your city." _

_"Our city," I muttered. _

_"I have to go alone," she said. "It's...something I have to do alone." _

_Something about Casssar renders me unable to hold up my facades. Maybe it's the heat of her that melts my icy exterior...the one so carefully crafted under the reign of Julian. His coldness only further froze it in place. With her, the ice breaks and feelings bubble through the cracks. It's scary sometimes...to be this split open. _

_Tears welled in my eyes. Absurd; I don't think I've cried this much during my entire time with Julian...not these kind of tears. I knew she was right...I understood. But knowing and accepting are two different things. _

_"All right..." I gave in, reluctantly, a whine still edging my voice. _

_She reached across the table. I reached for her too eagerly, nearly upsetting my coffee cup. We clutched and I felt sudden comfort. It was most likely her mind-tricking magic, but perhaps it was her hands, so strong and solid...so very reassuring all on their own. _

_Her brow furrowed in thought. "Black Flower...remember when you spoke of Christ-a-mas?" _

_"Yes." _

_"When does that happen?" _

_I was silent, calculating for a moment. Mobian years were slightly shorter than Earth's. I came upon the answer and gave it to her. "Why do you want to know that?" _

_"To set a date," she smiled. "I will come back, whether my mission is complete or not...I will come back then and be with you for a time." _

_I jolted upright in my chair, like a child about to open his presents on that aforementioned day. The defunct Earthen holiday wasn't that far off. "You'll come back to stay?" _

_"We'll see...it depends on...how this all goes." Her hand clutched tighter. "Keep it strong in your heart and mind, Cast...I WILL come back to stay...I will never abandon you." _

_I won't abandon you either. I will not resent, harbor bitterness...I will not despair. I will believe you, Casssar. _

_"Cass..." I was hesitant to appear too clingy and desperate, because she was being strong. "I can give you a comm. Device...so you can contact me, every now and then." _

_She sipped her coffee for such a long time I was afraid she was giving a silent 'no', or worse, ignoring me. The cup was set down upon the metal table with a muted clang. _

_"I promise, I won't call you all the time," I blurted, horrified I'd driven her away with my neediness...how pathetic and... "I'll let you call me, I swear, I won't-"_

_She nodded. _

_"They're not heavy," I was continuing. "If you're worried about that, I could give you a wrist-watch comm.."_

_  
She squeezed my hand hard, her teeth glinting in a smile, shaking her head in amusement. "That sounds fine, Cast!"_

_

* * *

_

_I turned my head, staring beyond the rim of the hot tub to the sink counter. My comm. Watch sat there, silent. It was excruciatingly hard to resist calling her. I stared at the device, channeling my desire into it, just to hear one breath...one hissing smoke-filled word. It sat there, silent, maddeningly silent. I looked away. _

_Fingers pressed hard into my lips...it burned...I ran the other hand over my body, all over...over every lingering kiss. Mmmm...I sighed. I thought before that a little 'pleasure play' was too desperate, but now? Casssar wouldn't want me to deny myself. I chuckled aloud, burying my chin into the froth, cheeks flushed. Casssar always found my modesty regarding sensuality amusing. But I was learning from her...to learn to enjoy those kind of pleasures. Simple and carnal...yet so much a part of life. _

_A kiss, on my neck...behind the ear...down the chest...on each wrists, where her teeth had pricked like a vampire for blood._

_"Black Flower..." I heard her in my ears, softly whispering. "Here's something to warm you...to keep you warm while I'm away..."_

_...kisses down the stomach...and down the spine...oh Gods...and kisses all along the length – I let out a blissful sigh. Her mouth had been warm. No, it was scalding, it would keep me warm long after she came back. It wouldn't fade. _

_"You know, Cass," I spoke aloud to the steamy room. "You've given me so much...and even if you were never to return..."_

_She gave feelings not felt in such a long time, some never felt at all. That's irreplaceable. Invaluable. _

_I climbed out of the tub. My body was weak and my legs spilled me onto the tiled floor. I pushed my cheek to it, splayed my hands across it. My body was weak, but my mind was very very strong. _

_"Cass...you're healing...you're becoming a better person. You're doing it for us." _

_I grinned. "Can't let you have all the fun, now can I?" _

_I closed my eyes. So weak...so sleepy...I'll rest for a while..._

_"Seriously, Casssar. I'll work hard too. For you. For you AND me. I'll..."_

_My mind was drifting away. I vowed before I fell completely: "I'll become a better man. For you."_


	28. I Know I Died

My Heart Doth Wander

Chapter 28 : I Know I Died

See my eyes, they carry your reflection

Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you

Give your trust to me and look into my heart

And show me – show me what you're doing.

So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling.

What you feel is what I feel for you.

Take me hand, and if I'm lying to you

I'll always be alone if I'm lying to you.

Take your time, if I'm lying to you.

I know you'll find that you believe me.

You believe me.

"Take My Hand" – Dido

* * *

After breakfast at Bunnie's house, Sally suggested the midday fire and the idea was greeted with enthusiasm. 

"That sounds way past cool."

"Roasted veggies..." Bunnie giggled. "Mah oh mah, talkin' about food after Ah just stuffed mah face, for shame!"

They were genuinely eager, not just comforting or pacifying her. But of course, she didn't need that now. She was the leader again. She was the Princess. She was Sally again.

"Ok, let's meet around 2:00," she said. "And we'll get a great fire going."

"And have leaf fights," said Sonic.

"And have leaf fights," she agreed.

Sonic shot off for his daily 'training' (goofing off), Tails skipped away to find Nadie. Bunnie went to tend her garden and Geoffrey took up a fishing pole.

Sally went to her hut. It was messy; she had neglected it for weeks. She was emptying a vase of dead flowers, sweeping the dry petals off the table, when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

Booted feet stepped in, a sweeping cloak brushed the floor. Sally saw these first, because she had dropped a petal and it wafted down to the newcomer's feet. Her stomach folded in half and her throat tightened. Oh boy. She didn't know what to expect.

"Good morning, Sally." It was her father.

"Hi daddy." She dropped the petals in the trash, brushing her hair from her eyes.

"I hear Lupe is doing well," he said.

She put the empty vase back on the table, then picked it up. Then she set it down again. "Yeah," she uttered finally.

"I spoke to her." He nodded. "She looks quite good."

"Um daddy..." she launched into her defense before he'd finished speaking. "I just got the thought because...well...and I had to do it...Nobody saw me..."

He lifted a hand for silence. "She remembers your voice, how it rang like a bell. She said it was like a doorway opened. She went through it and woke up on the pool shore with you."

"She doesn't remember the cave?"

He didn't smile, but his eyes were warm. "No."

"Well then-"

"Sally, why didn't you come to me about this?"

"I didn't think...I wasn't thinking..." She wasn't sorry, not really. "Sorry."

The door was still open and he backed out of the open entrance. He was framed between the inside and out. He was between decisions? Indecisive as what to think about her choice?

_'I don't care...it was still right.'_ Her thoughts were defiant.

He looked at her squarely before leaving. Right in the eyes...and he smiled. "I'm proud of what you did, Sally."

* * *

**From the mind of Sonic, Mobius's most way past cool hedgehog!**

I_ finished my daily training, which can really work up the ole hedgehog sweat! It wasn't 2:00 yet, but I dashed over to the fire...seems like I'm always early or late for everything. But I wasn't the only one; Sally was already there. And there was someone else with her. _

_"Uncle Chuck!" I exclaimed. _

_"Hey Sonny!" He patted my shoulder. "Good to see ya, m'boy!" _

_"It's always good to see you, unc." _

_The fire had just been started and it was small. When St. Stink came over, he could get it going real good. That was his only other use other than blabbing his big mouth and being smelly. I smirked. _

_Sally seemed to know what I was thinking; she shook her head. _

_"How are things going in Robotropolis?" _

_Unc shrugged. "There isn't much activity. It's strange to say...but it's rather boring around there lately." _

_"Sweet, you can come here, then," I said. _

"_Oh, I don't know...you never know when he'll get some 'brilliant' idea," Unc snorted. "Unpredictability runs in that family." _

_"I think he's done with brilliant ideas for a while." _

_We both looked at Sally. I raised an eyebrow. _

_"Maybe you're right," said Unc. "He seemed much more riled when Casssar was around. Maybe she fed his insanity." _

_Sally looked away, like she knew something we didn't. I knew she did, but I didn't want to pry. Oh well...Sally always knew more than I did. She was always in the loop. _

_"What do you mean 'when she was around'?" I frowned. "Isn't she still?"_

_"She left him, or at least, I'm pretty sure she did. I haven't seen her around." _

_"Puh. No wonder...I don't know what she saw in him... though she's a creep too." _

_Sally seemed surprised. "Why would she leave him? Those two were close."_

_"Maybe Croissant found some other freak to go after." _

_"That's Casssar, Sonic!" _

_"I know..." I grinned. "It's just fun to say 'Croissant'." _

_Sally stared into the fire. "I don't think she's what made him crazy. But still... maybe we can come to peace now."_

_"Peace with Snively?" I scoffed. "Yeah right, Sal!" _

_"No, really!" She said. "I'm serious, Sonic." _

_Unc chuckled. _

_"What are you, crazy?" I laughed along with him. "That dork won't just give in." _

_She smiled. "Like Uncle Chuck said, unpredictability runs in the family, right?" _

_I laughed again. "Yeah. But I don't think Sniv-nose is that unpredictable." _

_"Maybe he will..." She said it all mysterious and cryptic. She was so silly sometimes. _

_"Suurrrre..." _

_She punched me lightly in the arm. "Laugh if you want, Sonic Hedgehog, but stranger things have happened." _

_"As strange as St. John?" I snickered. The stinkbomb was heading our way. He had a basket of fish with him. _

_"Sonic!" She scolded. _

_"I'll be nice..." _

_She rolled her eyes. _

_I rubbed my hands together. "C'mon slo-mos, I can't wait for a leaf fight!" _

_"Bah, so you can cheat, eh mate?" _

_What a loser. I stuck my tongue out at Geoff. "How can you cheat at a leaf fight?" _

_He set down the basket of fish. "Oh I dunno...I suppose you'd find some way." _

_"Now, boys." _

_"Me?" I exclaimed. "When Stinky's the one coming along and calling me a cheater?" _

_"Both of you, knock it off." Sally's voice was stern, but she was smiling. I got a sudden cold chill, all over. Not because it was creepy or anything. It was that thing...where you've been someplace before. Deja-vu? Some silly Overlander word. But yeah...it was like the old days, before Robotnik was dead...like the old Sally and me and St. Stink, just how it used to be. Our friends were coming up now, laughing and talking. It was like none of the bad stuff these past few months had ever happened. _

_But it had. Sally had told me, a long time ago, that things needed to be remembered... even bad things. Bad things like Robotnik. And I understood why, suddenly. Because in order to appreciate the good things...in order to really love them and be grateful... you have to remember the times when things weren't good...when there wasn't love. _

_I grinned. Things had changed around here. But I think now, it's definitely a change for the better._

_

* * *

_  
The midday fire roared high. People and food had gathered around it. The smell of roast corn and fish wafted through the air. 

Tails could smell it, all the way down near the Power Ring pool. His nose wiggled and his mouth began to water. His fingers plucked at fat red strawberries, dropping them into a nearby basket.

"Nadie!" He called. "I think we have enough...let's go! I'm hungry!"

He circled around the pool when he couldn't find her nearby. He saw her through the foliage, putting her ear up to the cliff wall. Her eyes were screwed closed as if in deep concentration.

"Nadie!" He pounced out of the leaves, startling her. "C'mon, let's go!"

She nodded. They walked and she snuck a berry from his basket, her sharp white teeth digging into the red green-dotted flesh. "You have great power in your village," she said.

He glanced back. "It's just an old cliff." He switched the basket to the other arm, teasingly, as she reached for another berry. "Ohhh...but I've heard stuff...like Shamans can get power from rocks and plants and stuff."

"Very true." She darted around him, lightning-quick, and snatched another berry.

"Hey!"

She giggled and bit into it, sending a squirt of juice right onto his chin. He wiped it off, laughing as he scolded. "Save some for the others!"

"But yes, it IS true," she continued, her face becoming very solemn. It made him laugh again. "We can sense the life-force of Nature. I suppose that's what this is. It IS a very old rock, very wise I imagine."

"Can you hear like...voices in it, or anything cool like that?"

"Well..." She squinted; a shaft of sunlight had broken through the dwindling leaves and struck her in the eyes. "Maybe fully-fledged Shamans can, but from what I've felt...you get more of a 'feeling'. Like an emotion. I've heard that, in the trees by the Dark City...you can get a very strong feeling of sadness there..."

"I can believe that! The poor trees are all dying over there!"

She nodded. "It IS very sad."

"So...what feeling do you get from the cliff?"

She smiled. "It feels...very warm. It feels...safe. It feels like a mother."

"Wow..." He stared back at the mottled gray and brown rock. "That sounds really nice."

"It is!" She flung her arm forward, pointing at the fire. "Oh, look, Tails!!"

Sally was pulling back her stick to examine her ear of roasting corn, when she heard Nadie's cheerful shout. She looked up.

The Wolf Pack was approaching. And with them, walking arm-in-arm with Thunderhill for support, was Lupe. They settled around the fire.

"Do you mind if we share this flame?"

"Not at all, Madam Lupe," Geoffrey answered. "I imagine we couldn't be more honored."

"Ya'll got that right, sugah."

"You look great, Lup!"

"Thank you, Sonic." Lupe smiled gently, her eyes lingering on Sally. The squirrel blushed and thrust her corn back into the fire. "You have all been so very kind to me. I am forever indebted to you."

Sally shook her head. "You don't owe us anything, Lupe... we're all Freedom Fighters. We're all family here."

"Thank you, Sally. It truly touches me to hear that..." The wolf put a slender hand to her chest, her head bowed.

Sally felt a bit uncomfortable; all eyes were suddenly on her. But not for long; someone else joined the group and was greeted...the eyes moved to Dr. Quack as the duck plopped down by Tails and Nadie.

"Ah there's the girl who steals my patients from the hospital." He filched a berry from Tails' basket, keenly eyeing Sally. "You certainly gave me a fright, young lady."

"Sorry."

"No, no...it all turned out for the best. But...out of curiosity, why did you bring her down to the pool?"

"There is power there," Nadie said.

It took great effort for Sally to keep her body relaxed. It wanted to tighten up... it wanted to curl away from Nadie. Cu had said the kid didn't know about the Source! Maybe Cu had been wrong...

"The old cliff...the trees...the water," the child was elaborating.

"I did feel a great energy," said Lupe. "It was warm earth energy...and it was Sally's own light."

Tails stared at Sally. "Maybe Aunt Sally is a Shaman too!"

"That is very possible," said Lupe. "Perhaps you should look into the training."

Her body had gone a little rigid after all. Now it slumped fully into a relaxed state. She drew her corn back from the fire; it was burnt nearly black. Sonic laughed at it. She tossed it aside and took a new ear. "Maybe I will...but I really don't think I..."

Everyone was staring again. Oh boy.

She cleared her throat. "Well...maybe I do have some powers...that I was unaware of..." She managed a smile. "That would explain some things, wouldn't it?"

_Dear Journal, _

_Well, I suppose telling the people I might have Shamanic powers is an alright alternative to telling them about the Source (which I 'can't' do anyway). Though it might be tricky if they want me to start healing people on the spot or divining somebody's thoughts or something. Having powers is not easy, I tell you! It's even trickier when you don't really have powers and people think you do! _

_But Shaman has a nice ring to it. Shamaness? Shaman-Princess Sally? _

_It's better than 'witch'. That just makes me feel guilty. Guilty and dirty, like some old crone with baby's blood caked under her claws and strange body parts hanging from her kitchen ceiling. _

_It's better than 'savior' too. That did make me smile. But it's much too pretentious. I mean, seriously! I might have saved Lupe, but due to me...so many more Freedom Fighters have been killed or roboticized... _

_I can't let that bring me down though. They had their choice. They didn't have to come along to fight. Yes, I should have been better...I should have been... but they still came...they still came despite the risks. I can't take responsibility for everyone's choices anymore. _

_After I said that business about 'possibly having Shamanic powers' Geoffrey had that weird smug smile on his face again. He caught my eye across the fire. It might've been a trick due to the flame's dancing, but I swear I saw him wink. _

_What am I going to do about that boy...?_

_

* * *

_  
"So Geoffrey..." 

The fire had died out and everyone had gone away. Dinner was being held at the café, but Sally was so stuffed with corn and fish and a tomato sandwich (from Quack) that she couldn't fathom eating another bite. It made her stomach hurt to even think about food.

She stared at the embers. They would glow hot and bright long after the fire was gone. It made her think of Snively suddenly. He was the embers to Robotnik's roaring inferno. So small and yet he could still scorch and burn. 'If he's even aglow anymore,' she mused. 'After finding out Robotnik's dead and Casssar leaving him? Who knows what's going on in that man's head now?'

Maybe she would pay him another visit... but probably not.

"Yeah, luv?" The skunk was cleaning up; picking up the scraps of corn husks and silk, and small fish bones, and tossing them onto the embers.

She hesitated, then sighed. "How do you know?"

He looked up, his headfur dangling into his eyes, hiding them. All she could see was his mouth, opening in question.

She threw a stray bone into the fire, silent.

He shook the headfur free. She looked over at him.

"Know what, luv?"

He winked.

* * *

**From the mind of Geoffrey St. John, Mr. All-Knowing**

_My father was a solider. He served the Acorn Kingdom all his life, just like his father before him. He was proud to defend such an honorable establishment. He passed this pride onto me, and I've tried to serve with the same dignity that he did. _

_But I botched it...I messed up. I did stupid things. I still do. My father always said I had a bit of immaturity in me that can't be shaken out. It shows in the way I quarrel with Sonic. (I can't help it though...the insolent bloke!) It showed in the way I pursued Sally. _

_'But every man has flaws,' my father said, 'So I accept you as you are, son.' _

_I miss my father. He's a robot now. Seeing Sonic's Uncle gives me hope that one day I might hear my father talk again. He had so many little quotes...some he garnered from books and conversation and some he made up himself. _

_He was speaking about Overlanders one time...and I remember one quote quite clearly. _

_"It takes a small man to believe this big world should revolve around him; and it takes a very large man indeed to realize he has to share this small planet with everyone." _

_So dad's homemade quotes weren't always really catchy...and sometimes they didn't even make sense. But understood this one. It reminded me solely of one person. _

_Robotnik. _

_The firepit was littered with fish bones and other stuff. I picked them up, throwing them onto the hot embers, watching them curl and wither in the heat. The bones blackened. This is the place Robotnik's fat lard-ass body burned. I wonder if bits of his ash still float up and stick to our food. _

_Robotnik might've been a fat huge git...but he was a really small man. He was like my dad's quote. Robotnik was so stupid and inferior, and he knew it. That's why he had to get rid of everyone... he wanted to be the only bloke left on the planet. He wanted it to revolve around him. If he could have that...then maybe he would be important. Maybe he would become a big man. _

_But Robotnik failed. He died. _

_I died too. I know I did. I can see snippets of it in my dreams. I was out in the woods...and Sally was there...and Snively. I was so angry; I was almost evil. I hurt her. I don't know what it was all about. It doesn't really matter. I just know...that I died. _

_It could be just a dream, but I really don't think it is. _

_I looked over at Sally. She was asking me a question. _

_"How did you know?" _

_I'm glad that person died, because I don't want to be a man who tries to hurt her. How could anyone dream to hurt her? _

_I died; when I woke up I was different somehow. I fell in love with her more deeply than ever; but she didn't know that. It's because I gave up on romantically pursuing her, so she assumed I lost interest. I didn't lose interest...I lost intent. I can feel something I couldn't feel before...and that's her love for Sonic. _

_I don't know what she sees in that pincushion, but I do know she loves him, and for now, she doesn't want to give him up. Out of my love for her, I must respect that. I WILL respect that. _

_The thing is, after I died... I felt a connection to Sally. I could...see into her. I could feel her deepest feelings. When she was feeling strong sadness...I felt it. I felt her despair like a knife to the gut. I even could feel some of her thoughts. She thought about Snively a lot. Like I have a connection to her she has a connection to him. Don't ask me how. _

_I felt the LIGHT. She went to the Light all the time. I could feel it on her when she emerged...and I could feel the trail the light left behind. It led all the way to the cliff wall. I heard Tails and Nadie one day, talking, and the wolf cub spoke about the cliff wall. She said there was power there. I knew she was right...and I knew I had not been imagining it. _

_The light... it was what had killed me. It was protecting Sally. It was her friend. _

_It cleansed me. _

_Like it has cleansed Sally..._

_Like it has brought back Lupe. _

_Oh yes...after I died...I fell ever so deeply in love with Sally and her light... _

_I knew everything about her..._

_I knew everything all along. _

_This is definitely a change... _

_But I guess it's a change for the better._

The End...for now.

* * *

A/N: Well, since the story took so long to write (and read, I imagine) I get a long A/N to wrap up! YAY! 

First, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. :D You guys rock! ;P

Second, I hope nobody is disappointed or let down by the ending events of this story. I am actually a bit disappointed with how it turned out...I don't think I did a very good job in ending it. But keep in mind, this is a series and there will be more to come! (Hopefully O.o)

Third, a quick note on the title: In the original outline for the story, Snively was going to go completely crazy and Casssar was going to leave him in frustration, hence her heart 'wandering away'. That didn't happen, but I liked the title too much to change it ;)

Fourth, and last, I swear!! Now that story is over, you can all REVIEW NOW!! YES YOU! Hahahaa. No, honestly, your reviews mean a LOT to me. It lets me know people have read this, and believe me, not knowing if people have read your work or not kind of sucks. XD I'll take anything; critiques, flames, questions, praise XD, and hey, if there's something you'd like to see happen in a future story, or a loose end you think need to be wrapped up, let me know!

And that's it for now!

---Ali )


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